Uninspired Muse (Mt. Olympus Employment Agency: Muse Book 3)

by R. L. Naquin

  Jilly laughed. “Honey, if you had any more personality, nobody’d ever bother talking to the rest of us .”

  I smiled and led them to the elevator. I’d met the two women separately, but now we were a solid threesome. I couldn’t imagine not having them in my life now .

  Jilly had been in my orientation class. We’d helped each other make it to the end of the week without washing out, and she’d gone on to work for the Furies .

  I’d met Trina on my first day in the Muse department. She was the chatterbox who’d been sent to bring me up to the department. She’d been a little intimidating at first, since I was so new and worried about everything. The Muse department hadn’t been Trina’s first assignment. And it wasn’t her last. Not long after I arrived, Trina’s days as a Muse were cut short, and they sent her upstairs to the Fates department. So far, that seemed to suit her, and she hadn’t been given the boot .

  Both were the sisters I’d never had, and they were teaching me how to be a friend. I wasn’t amazing at it, yet, but I was learning .

  We climbed into the elevator, and I slid my ID card into the slot on the wall before pressing the down arrow. The Underworld was the only thing below the Mt. Olympus lobby, and it wasn’t actually there. Hitting that button sent the elevator through a portal, similar to the front door we’d all come through from various hometowns across the country. The ID cards to get there were regulated, so not everyone could go .

  Being related to royalty had its perks .

  When the elevator doors slid open, Trina did a little hop of excitement and clapped her hands .

  Jilly gave me a sideways glance. “Wow. Impressive hallway. I can see why they regulate access to the Underworld.” Jilly wasn’t often sarcastic, but when she was, she delivered it with a killer deadpan .

  I tapped her with my elbow. “Oh, hush. I know you weren’t expecting the elevator to open into a pit of fire and brimstone.” They followed me down the hall and out the entrance to the Underworld office headquarters. “The dorm I stayed in was in there , too .”

  Trina’s eyebrows rose in concern. “But it’s so quiet in there. You must’ve been so lonely .”

  “There were a few other people in there. Also temporary. And I had Phyllis with me.” I took them around the corner to a row of golf carts lined up at charging stations by the wall. “Hop in!” I unplugged my little red cart and slid behind the wheel .

  “I call tailgate!” Trina hopped onto the seat facing backward. “Woohoo !”

  Jilly watched her, laughing. “Shotgun, I guess.” She slipped in next to me. “Nice ride. What’s it go, like twenty miles an hour ?”

  I shifted it into reverse and backed up. “Thirty, thank you very much.” I twisted to check on Jilly. “You alright back there ?”

  “Woohoo !”

  Nobody knew how to have fun like Trina .

  The downtown area wasn’t big, and it wasn’t far from the office building, but I tried to point out the places of interest on the way. It wasn’t easy in the dull light of the fading artificial sun. “Up that road is the mansion where Mom lives.” I pointed to the right at a lush, overgrown sea of green. “When I was here before, nothing grew, but since Mom came back, well, you can see. It’s like a jungle, the closer you get to the house .”

  “What’s that?” Jilly pointed in the opposite direction at a plume of smoke above an orange glow in the distance .

  “That’s the river Phlegm .”

  “Phlegethon!” Trina yelled from the back of the cart. As a Legacy who’d been raised knowing exactly who she was, Trina knew far more about this strange world—both above and below—than I ever would, even if this was her first trip downstairs .

  “Yeah. That. It’s on fire today. Sometimes they shut down the gas line, though. Then it’s just an extension of the Styx.” I made a left and pulled into a parking space at the town square .

  “Ta da.” I waved a hand at the square. It was lit with old-fashioned lanterns lining the walkways, their flames sputtering in the breezeless evening. “Welcome to the Underworld Town Square .”

  Jilly wrinkled her nose. “It’s not exactly lively, is it? Maybe we could take a walk around the square, get a look at it, then head back upstairs to the Euphoria district .”

  Trina hopped off the cart, hands on her hips, surveying the area. “Where’s your sense of adventure? We’re exploring new territory.” She turned toward us, eyes wide. “ New men .”

  I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. She looked so severe in her tight leather. Somebody needed to get that girl a riding crop. She could rule the world .

  Or the Underworld .

  “Come on.” I tugged at Jilly’s sleeve. “Just one drink. Then, if you want to leave, we can go. I guarantee this will be a new experience for you.” I jumped from the cart and strode down the walkway, knowing she’d follow .

  The center of the square was a peaceful grassy area with benches and a small gazebo. Shops and small eateries nestled around three edges, with the fourth edge reserved for tiny parking spaces and charging posts for golf carts—the only type of vehicle I’d seen driven in the Underworld .

  “Over there is Mo’s Dry Cleaner, and there’s the thrift shop, and across over there is the little grocery store where I bought cereal and Pop Tarts while I was staying in the dorm .”

  “I have an awesome recipe for homemade Pop Tarts,” Trina said. “They don’t keep as long, but they’re delicious.” She spun around while she walked, looking at the shops. “Ooh! Is that a shoe store? Can we come back during the day some time and shop ?”

  At the end of the square on the left, a larger building stood on its own. Dark paint made it appear ominous. The windows were all dark, as if it were closed, but the neon sign said it was open .

  I strode to the door and held it open, my face serious. “Enter the House of Nyx .”

  Jilly gave me a quizzical looked, and they both went inside. I followed a few feet behind .

  My money had been on Trina to be a screamer, but she remained silent. Jilly made a quiet yelp, but that was all. I gave them a few seconds, then walked through the Night Zone myself .

  Absolute darkness, the kind that tricks the brain into seeing sparks that aren’t there, engulfed me. I gave a little wave, though I couldn’t see anyone or even my own hand movements. “Hi, Nyx.” I walked forward on blind faith and came out of the darkness into the club .

  Jilly and Trina stood together holding hands and looking pale .

  “What the hell was that?” Jilly’s freckles stood out on her face .

  Trina was uncharacteristically silent .

  “Wynter! How are you, my darling?” A short woman with a shock of dark hair shuffled forward, beaming and swiveling her attention between the three of us. “You brought friends. How wonderful !”

  I grinned. “Nyx, this is Jilly and Trina. Ladies, this is Nyx, goddess of night .”

  She scrutinized them both, then nodded in satisfaction. “You’re both single , yes ?”

  They nodded, still a little freaked over their first visit through the Night Zone .

  Nyx clapped her hands. “Excellent! New blood. Ladies, all your drinks are on the house tonight .”

  I was willing to bet my shiny golf cart Jilly wouldn’t want to leave after one drink. Nyx would keep us occupied all night .

  Chapter 7

  F or the next several hours, Nyx plied us with drinks as an ever-growing crowd of men showed up to check out the new blood. The Underworld was large, but the population of permanent residents was not. The place had a small-town feel, and any chance to date an outsider was cause for a party .

  Jilly and Trina were the guests of honor .

  When I’d first arrived, everyone but me had known almost immediately who I was and who my mother was. As a result, I’d received even more attention than my girlfriends were. I’d gone on a few dates, but now people mostly left me alone .

  I’d spent the last few months cultivating a reputation for be
ing a lot of work with little reward. And it didn’t hurt that my stepfather was Hades .

  Which all meant I could sit back in my seat, sip my free drinks, and watch my friends be smothered in male attention. Occasionally, I got up to dance—the live band was a strange Jamaican/Pop/synthesizer mix that had an intoxicating beat. We shimmied across the floor, slightly drunk, while the entire crowd danced with us .

  When a cute guy with brown eyes swung me around and dipped me, I hardly thought about Mark at all. Really. Not at all. Mark’s eyes were a darker brown, and this guy’s hair was cut much shorter, so it didn’t fall over one side of his face. Like Mark’s did .

  After the set was finished and the band took a break, the girls and I went back to our booth for our own break .

  Some of Trina’s curls had flattened, and her lipstick was smeared at the corner. “Never in my life have I seen so many single guys in one place. I’m exhausted. Is it like this every night here?” She pulled out a lipstick and swiped it over her mouth a few times. “How did you ever get anything done ?”

  I shook my head. “It’s like this because you’re here. Nyx has a way of…inviting people when she wants them to show up.” I grimaced, remembering how she’d sent me the suggestion before my first visit there. I’d shown up, thinking it was my own idea .

  Jilly sat back against the seat and took a gulp of her drink. “I will never doubt you again .”

  I checked my phone. “Wow. You know it’s nearly midnight ?”

  “No wonder I’m so worn out.” Jilly sat up. “I know we have to be at work in the morning, but I’m still too wound up to go home. Do you think we could go somewhere quiet next ?”

  Trina nodded. “Seriously. The band isn’t going to break for long, and I’ve got so many phone numbers stuffed into my corset, I’m going out of my mind with the itch .”

  Despite their exhaustion, I could tell they’d both had the time of their lives. House of Nyx was a different vibe than the frenetic energy of the Euphoria district on Mount Olympus. Up there, a girl could lose herself in the anonymous sea of bodies worshipping the god of wine at Maenad’s, my personal favorite. It was all spectacle and indulgence up there. Down here, a girl could feel special .

  Or forget that she wasn’t special and was totally a mess .

  We thanked Nyx for a wonderful time and ducked out before too many of the guys noticed we were leaving. Nyx, of course, made the girls promise to come back soon. The goddess of night was a shrewd business woman. We’d brought in a lot of bodies that night—bodies that otherwise might’ve stayed home watching Friends reruns. They’d spent a lot of money .

  We headed back to the cart, and I drove us a few streets over to a quiet diner I’d recently found. They had delicious pie and passable coffee. I was fine to drive a golf cart ten miles per hour, but I didn’t think any of us were sober enough to drive our real cars home quite yet .

  Cafe Amazon was open till 3:00 AM, so we had plenty of time to undo an evening of free drinks .

  Jilly squinted up at the sign. “Is it run by real Amazons ?”

  I shook my head and held the door open. “No. It’s on Amazon Street. Sorry to disappoint you .”

  We chose a table in the corner, a circular booth where we could all see the rest of the room .

  A faun with flaming red hair so bright it dulled Jilly’s came to our table with a stack of menus. He grinned at us. “Welcome, ladies.” He passed us each a menu. “You look like you could use a little caffeine. Coffee ?”

  “Bless you,” Trina said. “As strong as you’ve got it. I’ll even take the muck at the bottom that’s been sitting for hours .”

  He chuckled. “I’ll bring it right out and give you a chance to look at the menu.” He clattered off on his cloven hooves .

  Jilly watched him go over the top of her menu. “I know it’s been over six months, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing that.” She sighed and glanced at the menu. “We live in a magical world, my friends, and it is awesome .”

  I smiled and scanned the pies, spotting my favorite, banoffee. It was a beautiful marriage of bananas, toffee, buttery crust, and copious amounts of whipped cream. My lips turned up in a contented smile. “Magical .”

  I woke Monday morning with a freight train driving in circles around my brain and what felt like pickled fish eyes jiggling in my stomach. Disoriented at being at Mom’s instead of my apartment, I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom before I hurled .

  Banoffee pie was not a great idea on top of five hours or so of free alcohol. It wasn’t nearly as good coming up as it had been going down .

  I rinsed my mouth in the bathroom sink. Mom was a nature girl—goddess of spring and all that—so the medicine cabinet didn’t yield anything for my headache. I stumbled into the kitchen, squinting, trying to remember what herbs or juice Mom would have given me if she had been home .

  My eyes were blurry, and I still hadn’t quite woken up. When I got to the kitchen, the smell of something delicious being cooked hit me in the face and forced me awake .

  “Good morning, sweetheart. I heard you come in late and thought you might need something to wash away the night .”

  I’d wished for my mother—at twenty-five years old, sure, it still happened when I felt miserable—but Mom was not who I got .

  “Grandmama. Hi. What are you doing here?” I stood in the kitchen wearing a T-shirt and a pair of underwear in the presence of the goddess Demeter, who was cooking me breakfast. I inhaled deeply. Including fresh bread, if my nose didn’t lie .

  She gave me a look I liked to call the Guilt Maker. “This was your weekend to stay at the farm with me. You didn’t show up, so I came to you .”

  A buzzer went off and she pulled a loaf of crusty bread from the oven, then slid an omelette on a plate .

  My recently emptied stomach cramped in famished anticipation. “How did you know where to find me ?”

  She raised one eyebrow at me. “Don’t be ridiculous, dear. I always know where you are.” She settled me at the table with bread, butter, eggs, and a bowl of fresh fruit with cream. “You need to eat more. You’re too skinny .”

  When Mom had gone back to her husband in the Underworld, Demeter had tried to stop her. In the interest of family peace—and getting to know my previously unknown grandmother—I’d agreed to be part of the dealings. I had to spend a weekend out of every month, plus two weeks a year with her at her farm .

  Forgetting to go to Grandmama’s on her weekend was unthinkable. And yet I’d done it. In my desperation to forget about the situation with Mark, I’d also forgotten about her .

  I bit into a slice of bread smothered in freshly churned butter and strawberry jam. My stomach immediately ceased its complaining. “I am so sorry I forgot.” I spoke with my mouth full and continued to chew, swallow, and shove more into it. “I had a really bad day, so I came here, and then I went out with my friends, and oh, gosh, what’s in this omelette? This is so good .”

  She chuckled. “Cheese. Peppers. Some herbs to settle your stomach and get rid of the headache I’m sure you have .”

  The headache was already easing, and my stomach was greatly appeased and already beginning to complain that I was stuffing too much into it too fast. “I really am sorry I forgot. I could come next weekend .”

  Demeter folded the dishtowel she was holding and slipped into the chair across from me with it still in her hands. “It’s alright. Maybe I’ll stay here tonight. We can catch up when you get home from work.” She watched me chase a pepper around my plate with the edge of my fork. “Want to talk about your bad day and why you’re staying here instead of your own apartment ?”

  I blew a strand of hair out of my eyes. Over the last few months, I’d let my hair grow out a little from its usual super-short length. It was currently in that awkward in-between stage of simultaneously too short and too long .

  “I think I’m still working through it. It’s a boy thing, and I suspect I’m the one being stupid, but I�
��m not ready to embrace that fact or figure out how to stop myself from being stupid .”

  “So, you’re here hiding from your troubles.” One side of her mouth lifted in a knowing smirk .

  “Accurate.” I sipped my juice. “How about we talk about you, for once. How’s your love life? Any step-god-grandfathers in my future ?”

  Ribbing her was silly. She was the Greek goddess of the harvest. Grandmother of a mortal or not, she was ancient. I couldn’t imagine she’d even be interested in romance .

  She bit her lip and spread the dishtowel on the table, smoothing it flat. Her brow furrowed as she folded the sides precisely and pressed them with her palms, as if the towel were about to go on display under glass at the Smithsonian. She mumbled in my general direction as she folded, her voice soft and quiet. “Well, I’d hoped to ask your advice about something, but you have problems of your own .”

  My cheeks felt hot. I’d been teasing her, and here she’d come to me for help. “No, please. I’m sorry. Tell me what’s going on, Grandmama.” I reached across the table and touched the back of her hand .

  Her busy fingers stilled, and she lifted her gaze to meet mine. “It’s just that…it’s just been a long time. I’m not sure what I’m doing.” She shook out the towel and started again. “I’ve spent so long worrying about your mother, I haven’t had time for anything like that in centuries .”

  From the stories I’d heard, Demeter had been consumed with getting her daughter away from Hades ever since he’d married Persephone. Mom made that obsession worse when she ran away from Hades while pregnant with me and didn’t tell Grandmama. For the last twenty-five years, Demeter’s every waking moment had been spent trying to find us, while Hades secretly kept her from succeeding .

  Now that everyone was together, I supposed Demeter finally had time to think about other things. I tried not to laugh at the idea that she thought I could give her advice. I was a car wreck where romance was concerned. In fact, my life wasn’t so much a romance as it was a dark comedy .