Becoming A Son

by David Labrava

  Robert kept telling me he had a job for me and him to do, but he wouldn’t say what. Great. That’s all I needed I thought, was to get more involved with this Psycho. Everyone on the North was afraid of Robert. He pretty much did whatever he wanted to do.

  I woke up the next day late, not feeling too hot. I grabbed my surfboard and went for a surf. I never saw heroin again on the island. Cooper searched for it a lot, all the time in fact. He was an adrenalin junkie, whatever it was that gave him a rush he was into it. So when there were no waves he turned to his search for dope. And he was relentless.

  12

  “Roberts here.” Cooper called to my room from the living room. I knew that tonight was the night. Robert had some job to do and he was picking me up at eight. They told me to dress in all dark clothing so I knew we were probably going to steal something. These guys were always stealing shit. Whatever wasn’t nailed down. I ran out of the house and jumped in the truck.

  “You ready hippie?” Robert asked looking me over.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I was definitely nervous. Robert was about twenty five and I was almost seventeen. He was huge and I was skinny. If it went wrong, whatever it was, I was pretty sure I would get the worst end of it.

  We drove for a while in the darkness of the North Shore. Neither of us said a word. I couldn’t tell if Robert was on a good one or not, I just took it for granted he was.

  He pulled into a residential neighborhood on the other end of Haleiwa. We drove real slow and quiet. It was about three in the morning so everything was quiet. Robert turned his lights and we drove on the complete darkness for a few hundred feet. He turned the engine off and we coasted to a stop. Robert pointed to a big hedge.

  “See that hedge?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s my cousin’s house. He’s got about forty weed plants about to bud. We gonna take um.”

  “You gonna rob your cousin?”

  “Yeah. He nevah suspect me.” Robert said with a grin. “I help him find the guy who did it.”

  I thought how Robert has absolutely no scruples at all. I didn’t know if I believed it was Robert’s real cousin or not. He said everyone was his cousin, until he crossed you or robbed you. That usually cut the family ties.

  We got out of the car and hurried across the lot next to the hedge. Robert walked up to it and separated two hedges with his hands. We walked into the yard and there were forty of the most beautiful weed plants I ever saw. I heard a real low growl behind me and I froze. I could tell it was a dog. I turned real slowly and saw a big pit bull looking at me lowering his head and growling. I felt all the blood rush out of my face. I thought I was finished for sure.

  “Sssshhhh Petunia. Come here pretty girl.” Robert said in a whisper. Instantly Petunia stopped growling and walked over to Robert so he could scratch her behind the ears.

  “You don’t think it was important to tell me about Petunia.”

  “Oh yeah. My cousin got em one big dog.” Robert said with a grin. He found the whole thing amusing.

  We picked up the plants two buckets at a time and carried them out to Roberts truck. It took about eight minutes and we were on our way back with Roberts cousins complete garden. We drove to the pig farm and dropped them off. Robert sat there watering them with a source of pride. I sat there watching him and I had an ominous feeling this would not turn out right. Boy was I right.

  The next day the shit hit the fan. Roberts cousin’s plants missing was big news and his cousin put out a reward to anyone who knew who took them. I spent the whole day surfing and staying away from the house. That was probably not the best thing to do. When I got back to my house Robert his cousin and a few of his brothers were waiting for me.

  I put my surfboard away and went into the living room. Robert called me outside to smoke a joint. I knew there was nothing to do but play the cards out. I walked into the front yard and Robert was smoking a joint.

  “Hippie come here. Lets smoke em one joint.” Robert held out the joint to me. I looked over at his truck and the cousin and brothers were all standing leaning against the truck like it was ringside seating. I walked over to Robert and it became one of those times when everything turned into slow motion. Each step felt like I was sinking further. I watched my hand reach out to grab the joint. It seemed like it was moving so slowly. I took the joint and started to hit it and for one second I thought everything was going to be ok. Maybe they were just stopping by on their way home from extorting shopkeepers, or taking the purses from old ladies, or stealing surfboards. Either way I started to lighten up as I was hitting the joint.

  “Why you take my cousins weed hippie?” Robert asked me as he was winding up with a knockout punch. He slammed me before I could answer while I was hitting the joint. I went flying across the front lawn and landed on the grass. I jumped up and ran straight at Robert who was swinging wildly. I knew there was nothing I could do but fight. I knew I was gonna get beat, I knew I couldn’t sell Robert out to his cousin. I might end up dead in the pineapple fields if I did that so the only thing to do was fight as hard as I could and take my lumps.

  Robert beat me up pretty good that night. I found out later he told his cousin he would fid out who took his crop for half of it. I guess he figured he was gonna get caught anyway, he might as well be the hero and get half than get caught and get none. Either way I had enough of Paradise for now. I packed up my stuff and flew back to Miami. Things were really starting to pop off there. It was the pre scarface era and Miami was the spot were most drugs started their journey into the US. Everyone was making lots of money selling, smuggling and dealing drugs. I decided to go back home and see what trouble I could get in there.

  13

  “I’ll pay for it and you go first.” I told Ronnie. We were beat from Painting houses all day in the Miami sun.

  “Deal.” Ronnie said.

  We had been talking about getting a tattoo for a long time. Ronnie was a drummer in the best band in town. Neither of us had any tattoos so this was a big deal.

  We walked into the local tattoo shop called Tattoo You, which was in our neighborhood. It was a one room hole in the wall. The flash, which is what the drawings on the walls of a tattoo shop are called, were stapled on the wall in the same way he got them. No color, no shading, only line drawings, no frames. I had never even been in a tattoo shop and I knew this was not how it was supposed to be. There were two guys in there drinking beers and watching football.

  “I’ll have that one.” Ronnie pointed at a drawing after about looking at the wall for about thirty seconds. “On my arm right here.” I don’t think there was a lot of thought involved. He picked a skull with a dagger through it with a snake and a banner. It was a very traditional piece. In the banner he put the name of the band he was the drummer in, ‘Death Before Dishonor’.

  I looked all around and didn’t see anything I would have put on me forever. Forever is a long time. I was always into art, my Mom being the Art teacher and all, so I figured if I like something enough to have it on my wall, then I might like it on my body, forever. I had been thinking about getting a tattoo for years. Drawing on my arm with a black marker then looking in the mirror thinking, “This could be real.”

  I called Gary up.

  “Hey, could you bring down a few of those books on training. There aint nothing here worth getting.”

  “You guys are really doing it?” Gary was in dis belief.

  “Yeah, Ronnie is in the chair now.”

  “What did he get?”

  “Some skull and Dagger with a snake through it.”

  “You guys are insane.” Gary was always the straight shooter of the bunch.

  “ I’ll be right there.” He said.

  I hung up and went back to Ronnie who was wincing in pain. I found the whole tattoo thing fascinating. Watching the needle go in and out, leaving a permanent mark just seemed cool to me. About twenty minutes later Gary walked in with a pile of books. We started going through them
and I wasn’t having any luck. We opened a book on Japanese Kanji, which is the Japanese alphabet, with the translation of each. Each one of the Kanji’s looked like a piece of Art to me, so we started looking at them and the translations of each one.

  Gary pointed down at one. “This is one is you.” I looked closer and read it. It said,

  ‘Muga Mushin – Selflessness – When you are going into battle you are not thinking about your wife, or your life or your self. You are only content with killing your enemy.’

  “This one is you.” Gary said.

  “You think so?”

  “Absolutely.” I always trusted Gary with just about anything. He had his head on straight early on. He is just one of those guys that doesn’t make a lot of mistakes. Ronnie’s tattoo was done and it was my turn. I showed the guy what I wanted and he started making a stencil. He was a little drunk by now so I ended up finishing the stencil myself. The guy was about 30, and we were about 16. He put the stencil on my arm and started tattooing me. Gary was standing over the guy’s shoulder watching.

  “He’s fucking it up. He’s fucking it up.” Gary said. I pulled back and looked the tattoo guy in the eye.

  “Check it out Bro. If you mess up this tattoo, I can guarantee you me and my two friend will wreck this place and everything in it, you included.”

  The guy just looked at me in sort of dis belief, or he was just wasted. I snapped at him.

  “DO YOU GET IT?” The guy got it. He sat back and put the machine down.

  “Can I have a glass of water?” He asked me.

  “I think that’s a good idea.” I told him. He got up and guzzled two glasses back to back then sat back down and finished the tattoo. You could see how serious he was all of a sudden doing my tattoo. He realized how serious the situation he was in actually was. It just goes to show you that it doesn’t matter how old a man is, once he is a man. When the guy finished I paid him for both and we all split. I knew right then I wanted to be completely tattooed, like Queequeg in Moby Dick. I wanted to be a tattoo artist, and I set my mind for that. One year later I was working in the oldest shop in the United States at that time, Lyle Tuttle tattoo on seventh street and market in San Francisco.

  14

  I was boxing as a little kid. My dad was a boxer in the Navy. He really loved boxing and took me to all the fights. He was always holding his hands up and teaching me moves for in the ring. He got me in a little kids boxing league when I was like eight years old at Uleta, the local gym. My mom was against it but my dad didn’t listen to anyone.

  He wouldn’t let me play football, not in school anyway. He was afraid I would get hit hard and paralyzed. He did let me box though. In fact he promoted that in me. He felt this was something I could use through out my life, if for nothing else, to defend myself when necessary. It definitely helped me have confidence I got to admit that, but I did get in a lot of fights. I remember my Mom getting mad cause the other mothers would call up and say I couldn’t come over any more after I beat the tar out of their kid. That’s what kids do.

  I started training Karate at sixteen. At eighteen all I wanted was to be a Karate teacher and have six dedicated students. This dematerialized as different things in my life started to take hold. Training became less and less important. I started to find that self medicating myself and doing art was what I was doing most. I was always a functioning addict. I always went to work or had a hustle, even when I was homeless or loaded Those years of training taught me a few things, like there is nothing I can’t do or conquer. You start out thinking you will never be able to master back stance. You wonder if you can achieve a black belt with out ever mastering this. Then you make it your favorite stance.

  I started reading about Samurai life style. Bushido, and great warriors like Miyamoto Musashi. I then adopted this lifestyle, at least on the serious man part, to whatever I did. I already felt that I was on a path of enlightenment, this just refined this train of thought. I took everything I went through in life as a life and death matter. I enjoyed being serious. I imagined that’s how Samurai were. Serious.

  15

  “Did you get it?”

  “Yeah, hurry up.” I jumped in the back of the car and we took off.

  “ Let’s see.” Bobby Hunter said and stuck his hand out. He was the school bully and I didn’t expect to see him in the car. I had stolen a little cocaine from my Dad’s dresser drawer. I reluctantly handed it over. He inspected it, then put it in his pocket.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey what? Relax, you’re gonna get some.” One of the girls in the front seat, Stacey looked back at me reassuringly. Like I better take it easy, he might bash my head in. It wasn’t easy growing up skinny, everyone always wanted to try and take your shit, and I was never into letting them no matter how big they were.

  So there I was, getting strong armed at fifteen by a sixteen year old kid, life went from excitement to doom and gloom in an instant. We drove into this deserted lot, just a bunch of abandoned cars in it, an old refrigerator, some bums with their shopping carts..

  Cocaine was just hitting the streets when I was a kid, and I watched it chew some people up real bad. Chewed my dad up, and a whole lot of other people. All kinds of people lost everything and then some, from attorney’s to surfers and everyone in between. Basically whoever tried it..

  Guy down the block from my house OD’d, and the kid around the corner, also a bunch of my sister’s friends. People didn’t know when to stop. They didn’t know when to quit, till their heart was about to explode. Just like the rat in the cage they showed us on that movie in science class.

  Back in the day you could buy ether kits and petri dishes to make base cocaine, over the counter at Vibrations records. Like it was no big deal. No one knew what they were really getting into. It was only a big deal when you lost the house, or the neighbor dies in your living room.

  Lindsay turned on the car light and Bobby took out a small mirror and poured out the baggie of coke. He crushed it up and made some lines, taking the biggest two for himself which he snorted before he handed the mirror back. Lindsay and Stacey did the next two lines then I did my two. We sat there and waited.

  “You feel anything?”

  “I don’t know. Do you?”

  “Shut Up.” Bobby said. “I’m rushing out.” I looked up at him and he had his eyes closed and was kind of vibrating. I looked at Lindsay, she looked at Stacey and we got out of the car. We stood there and smoked a joint while Bobby Hunter stayed in the car. We were watching him search around the car.

  “What’s he looking for?”

  “I don’t know.” After like ten minutes Bobby got out of the car and walked up to me.

  “We need some more.” He said to me, kind of menacing.

  “I don’t have any.”

  “Well you’re gonna get some.”

  “No I’m not. Aint no place to get some more anyway. My dad lives in the Grove so we aint going back there and even if we did, he isn’t expecting to see me till next week.’’

  Bobby stepped up and grabbed me by the collar.

  “We gotta get some more now.”

  “Lemme go.” I said trying to rip his hands off of me.

  “Let him go ROBERT.” Lindsay said.

  “Yeah, there aint no more, your wrecking our high.” Stacey said.

  “I don’t like that shit anyway, I aint never getting it again.” I said.

  “Wanna bet?” Bobby said and he started shaking me violently. I started punching him in the face as many times as I could over and over. He was kind of dodging them while he shook me. He threw me to the ground and started this kind of temper tantrum. He picked up a big pipe and started beating one of the abandoned cars. Then he started after the bums who were in a corner minding their own business. I got up and Stacey handed me the joint.

  “Crazy.” Lindsay said as we watched Bobby argue and chase the bums around the lot.

  “ Did you feel it? Anything?” I asked them both.

&nb
sp; “ I don’t know.” Stacey said. “You?”

  “I think so. My teeth got numb.” Lindsay said as she was rubbing her teeth.

  “Well I didn’t feel shit. And if this shit does nothing but make you freak out I have had enough of it. I like going down anyway, not up.” I said. We watched Bobby for another minute.

  “Let’s get out of here.” I said. We all got in the car and Lindsay started the car. As soon as Bobby heard the car, he started running after us, with the pipe.

  “Better hurry.” I said “ Here comes Bobby.” Lindsay and Stacey turned around and looked behind us, Bobby was running at the car, screaming with the pipe in his hand. Lindsay slammed the car in gear and we pulled out of there. I looked out the back window and I gave Bobby the finger.

  About four months later I got to school and everyone was on the front lawn in a circle talking. Lindsay walked up to me.

  “Did you hear what happened? Bobby Hunter OD’d in his bedroom last night. He was cooking that shit up and smoking it. His mom found him.” I stood there for a moment taking that in. Lindsay stood there waiting for a reaction from me.

  “What are you thinking?” She asked me.

  “I wonder what’s for lunch today.” I said.

  16

  “Shhhhh. Be quiet. Someone’s coming.” I was laying on a lawn chair after school with my new girlfriend Janice and I heard a car pull up in front.. We had skipped school and were behind a house making out down the block from where I used to live. I could see a uniformed policeman walking into the back of the house from the other side. We got up quickly and went out the opposite side of the house only to run into the cops partner. I was a pretty skinny kid and that cop picked me up by my collar.