Starbright: The Complete Series

by Hilary Thompson

  He showed me a massive cave he convinced his father to purchase a few years ago - it used to be a state park, but there was some sort of safety issue and it had to be closed. Since then, Charles has been secretly adding things and changing it, making it into a sort of community safe house - one larger and more permanent than I could have ever imagined.

  He says it is where we will go together soon, and wait for the world to end and begin again.

  from First Leader Lakessa’s private journal

  included in Firene’s secret papers

  Just once, I wish I could skip a Gathering. But Mother makes sure I go, following me the whole way before I find a seat next to Anan, and she sits with Pasia and Lennon.

  I assume the pose of thoughtful prayer and meditation - head bowed, shoulders hunched slightly, hands folded beneath my chin. The picture of piety and respect.

  Luckily for me, this pose is also very conducive to a drowsy sort of sleep.

  I half-listen as the entertainers go through some memorial service and sing a mournful song. Then Saloman prattles on about faith and love and staying strong for each other.

  I think, anyways.

  The group of Leaders taking the stage wakes me up a little, and I watch them file forward, wondering if I would have chosen that vocation, if Aitan hadn’t.

  Everything would be so different now if just one choice had been changed.

  Perhaps that’s the difference between fate and free will.

  Keirna waves the other Leaders to their seats and takes her place at the front. She’s not a large woman, but her eyes and voice seem to fill the room as she recites a short speech about Choosing Day. I recognize Aitan’s wording. He’s always been good at writing her canned comments for these sorts of events. I’m barely paying attention again when Anan shoves at my shoulder.

  “Hey, wake up. She said there’s a punishment.”

  I sit up straighter, wondering who it is and what they are accused of. I remember reading once about how they did punishments before the Sickness - with long trials and lots of people involved in the decision.

  Here in Asphodel it’s only Keirna. So people are a lot more obedient, and a lot more careful about how and why they disobey.

  If someone broke a rule, there was a good reason.

  Two protectors emerge from a hallway, each holding an arm of a small woman. I search her face, but she isn’t familiar. She looks a little frightened, but she holds her head up, looking dispassionately at our upturned faces.

  “This woman,” First Leader Keirna begins, “is accused of stealing from the store in which she works. We propose that her punishment be confinement in a public cell until the money she stole is repaid with community donations, plus a Level Three punishment of two weeks’ confinement. Are there any objections?”

  The people around me are already losing interest, now that they know it’s just stealing. No crime is common here, but stealing is perhaps the most often punished one. Anan starts to lean in to ask me something, but I hold my hand up, seeing a flash of red hair a few rows up.

  Surely she wouldn’t.

  “Please, First Leader, how much did she steal?” Her voice rings out through the crowd, and my throat constricts too tightly for air to enter. Why in Hades is Trea questioning Keirna? Does she want to make everything harder for us? Is she desperate to die?

  “Sixty-four points,” Keirna answers, her glare nearly palpable as she sweeps her eyes over Trea, then over the rest of the crowd.

  I hear a few murmurs of consent, and someone behind me whispers, “That’s only enough for Level Two,” before they are shushed by another person.

  Keirna raises her hand for silence and gets it immediately. Keirna’s cruelty has touched all of our lives in some way - some large and some small. “Are there any other objections?”

  As a group, the crowd says, “Let it be done.”

  I feel bad for the woman who has become the subject of Keirna’s anger for now, but I can barely focus on that. All I can think about is Trea, and how I could possibly protect someone that daring. Her mouth will get us both killed one day - and that day is approaching even faster with each act of insubordination.

  I ignore the scattering people and stay locked in my seat, a heavy haze of despondency keeping my limbs still.

  After a few minutes, Anan circles back to me, obviously concerned.

  "Your girl is acting a little different today,” he says as he sits beside me again.

  I glance out to the dancers, where his finger points. Trea is dancing with Pallis. I groan as I watch him grope her lower back like the idiot he is.

  “Not my girl yet,” I sigh, and Anan laughs.

  “Maybe you need to change that,” he answers. “Give her something to remember you by.”

  “What would you do?” I ask to pass the time.

  “Dance with any girl I could find. Get in her way. Make her watch me with other girls.”

  I shake my head. Idiot. “That only works if she already cares.” And she doesn’t, or this thing with Tella would have stirred up a load of Styx.

  “She cares. Maybe not about you yet. But about something related. Figure it out.” He pushes up and waves to Dian, motioning that they should dance.

  Everyone has advice to give me, but none of it will work if I can’t get Trea to even look at me. Right now she’s wearing Pallis out - if I squint my eyes it looks like her hair is a streak of flames chasing them around the room. Her energy is expanding rather than running down, as though she’s a ball of fire feeding on the surrounding oxygen.

  I need to talk to her before she explodes something. With my luck, throwing fireballs is her secret power and she’ll figure it out tonight.

  Glancing around the room, I catch Garna’s eye, and she raises her eyebrows, then nods towards the dance floor. She’s always been a good distraction. Flirty without truly expecting anything from me.

  I shrug and walk her way.

  After that first dance, it seems like the girls come from nowhere and I have plenty of dance partners. I don’t even talk to most of them, just smile and let them ramble on. I even tolerate Tella for a couple of the slower dances. A few times I spot Trea giving Pallis the time of his life. And a few times she sees me watching and glares.

  She must care about something. What in Hades is it? Then a realization breaks through and I forget to dance for a second. The girl in my arms blinks up at me, startled, but I just smile halfway and shrug, stepping back into the rhythm.

  She cared about the woman, and the punishment. Was that because the punishment was too strenuous for the crime - it wasn’t just? Perhaps the fallen star inside her memory calls for justice like the one inside me calls for balance?

  Maybe she’ll talk to me if I do something to balance the injustice of the shopkeeper’s plight. But that hope flees as soon as it came: anything I could try would be viewed as a direct attack on Keirna’s authority. And therefore punishable.

  Trea will be lucky if she avoids any sort of retaliation from Keirna after questioning her in public. Anger begins to wind through my body as I think about how little she cares for her own safety - and therefore for Asphodel’s future. If she can remember the fallen star she once was, then she’s trying everything to deny who she really is.

  She isn’t a believer, and that suddenly makes me furious with a raging sort of despair. Who cares if she doesn’t get a choice in this nightmare - none of us do. My father didn’t have a choice. My mother didn’t have a choice. Firene didn’t have a choice.

  Trea isn’t as special as she thinks she is.

  Suddenly the girl in my arms stops short, tripping over her feet, and I realize Trea is standing in front of us, blocking our progress.

  “May I?” Trea directs the question to the girl, but she’s glaring at me.

  My own anger is now so strong I can barely see, and I don’t waste a second before hauling her amongst the dancing couples, even though my body takes the time to notice how small she feels agains
t me. She seems a little unsure of herself - an emotion that she’s obviously uncomfortable with.

  But that doesn’t make me feel bad for her. Whatever charm I brought with me tonight is summarily gone.

  “What exactly are you doing?” I bite out the words.

  I see the rage pass over her face, but then she masters it and answers me calmly. Which only makes me more furious.

  “I didn’t expect you to be jealous of my dancing. After all, you-”

  “I’m not talking about Pallis, you idiot!”

  She stops dancing, and I see her hands trembling slightly. “Excuse me?”

  I put on my asshole half-smile and force her back into the rhythm of the music. The crowd is loud tonight, but I lean closer to her ear so no-one can hear us.

  “Why would you ever challenge Keirna? Has Brenn taught you nothing?”

  “I just asked her a question. People do that.” Her tone is flippant.

  “Not with Keirna. Aitan says nobody questions her. Ever. She’ll ruin your life, Astrea.”

  “No, Lexan, you will ruin my life,” she says then, and I’m not sure what hurts more: the jagged edge of her voice or her soft, rough hands pushing my body away from hers.

  I stand alone on the dance floor, watching her take Pallis’s hand and try to pull him into a dance. He laughs and says something I can’t hear. My body feels abruptly drained and wilted. I don’t even feel like I could make it home right now without leaning on someone.

  Then Trea glances back at me. “Pallis, I would love to go to the pool with you,” she says - too loudly, almost yelling for my benefit. She links her arm through his and stares at me like she could cut me in two. And I realize that she has. Here on the dance floor, she sliced me right open, cutting past my charming Libran shell and into the white anger that festers in my heart.

  Trea and her attitude can go to Hades.

  I glance around and soon spot Tella laughing with a few friends. I wave to her and she raises an eyebrow.

  “Hot pool?” I mouth, beckoning with one finger. Her cheeks flush a little and I almost feel bad, until I remember who else is heading down to the pool. Pallis. With Trea.

  I loop my arm around Tella’s waist and lead her to the pool, smiling my halfway smile the whole way.

  We sit next to Anan and his new girl, and I swallow a few mouthfuls from a wine bottle he’s brought along. The liquid warms my belly, but it doesn’t even touch the cold place that’s opened up in my chest.

  I run my fingers through Tella’s hair as she talks, and she snuggles closer and closer until she’s basically sitting on my lap.

  I can see Pallis and a group of his friends sitting in a circle. They have wine too, and I notice Trea drinks more often than they do. I can’t see her eyes, but her movements grow slower with the alcohol.

  I notice Isa and Dalen sitting apart from everyone, near the water. They too are flushed with wine, and they look like they might be rolling on top of each other any minute. The hot pool has a way of breaking down inhibitions, with its private corners, dark shadows, and don’t-tell habits.

  Tella asks me a question and I bend my head closer so she can repeat it. I laugh, still not understanding her jumbled words. Her lips brush against my cheek. When I look up, Trea and Pallis are gone.

  My eyes scan the room as irritation starts to penetrate my loose, hazy mood. I’m just not ready to protect her from her own decisions tonight. Then I see them, heading towards what I think is a fairly secluded alcove.

  Asshole. I tighten my fingers into a fist and Tella cries out and pushes at my arm.

  “I’m so sorry!” I say, releasing her hair. I hadn’t even realized where my hand was. Trea has me that mixed up. I smooth Tella’s dark brown hair back down, whispering a few words in her ear until she starts to smile again.

  She turns her head and her lips meet mine again. This time, I don’t even think. I just feel.

  EIGHT

  February 8, 2067

  I’ve been reading some of Charles’s astrology books lately to pass the time until our new safe house is ready. I found an old silly story about how the sun and moon used to be lovers and share the same sky at the same time. But the sun became jealous of the moon’s stars. He was so jealous of her spring star and autumn star that he stole the spring star for himself. The moon was so angry that she refused to join him in the sky ever again, choosing instead to follow his golden trail each night, until she blotted it out with her thick black cloak. Evidently, this was how we came to have night and day.

  I showed the story to Aisa, and she thought it was romantic. She’s a stupid girl.

  There’s nothing romantic about lovers who remain separated forever.

  The real sparks fly in the next story, when the moon returns to cover the sun in his own house, turning day into blackest night.

  from First Leader Lakessa’s private journal

  included in Firene’s secret papers

  “Hypocrite,” I say under my breath. Our kiss is over and I’m back to thinking.

  “What?” Tella asks, tossing her hair from her neck so I can see her cleavage better. Like I don’t know it’s there.

  “Nothing. What were you saying about your sister?” I give her the cue and she launches back into some boring story, leaving me free to think about Trea. Which is not really the best idea. She’s already been gone several minutes. I’m starting to change my mind about protecting her from her own decisions: she makes really bad ones.

  I hated seeing her walk away after that asshole. I was born to be her partner, but she won’t even glance at me. Instead, she goes off with the lousiest guy in our class, to the darkest spot in the cave. And she’s been drinking.

  Tella glances at me, a frown on her pouty lips. “Are you okay? I think you’re growling.”

  I shake my head and shift away from her, smiling a little wider to soften the coming blow.

  “Do you mind if I take a few minutes to check on a friend? I saw him leave and he looked a little drunk.” It’s not exactly a lie. Just the friend part.

  Tella smiles. “Of course not! That’s so sweet of you! I love that you love your friends so much!”

  I can barely smile past the strange panic climbing my throat as I leave her. That girl needs to get a clue. And a partner - soon.

  I take a roundabout way towards the area I saw Pallis and Trea last. I don’t want anyone to connect where I’m going, although it would probably be a long shot. Finally I hear voices, and an occasional giggle. Rounding a corner, I can see them, and I immediately duck backwards out of possible sight.

  I wish I couldn’t see either, because the sight of Trea with him makes me literally sick. My throat constricts and I feel the burn of acid at the base of my tongue.

  From my hidden spot in the shadows, I can only see Pallis’s back. He lifts his head and says something to her. His voice is low, but it sounds angry even from here.

  Trea’s voice cuts above his. “I don’t want…”

  And that’s when the bastard leans in to kiss her again.

  And that’s when I lose my mind.

  I lunge across the space separating us and haul Pallis backwards by his shoulders, pulling him in a full circle so that I’m safely between his grabby hands and the girl I can’t bear to look at.

  She’ll never forgive me for this, but there’s no way I could just let it happen.

  “Pallis, I clearly heard her say no. If you can’t respect that, you need to take it up with me,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and failing completely.

  Instead of answering like a normal person, he swings at me. Instinct says duck. Logic says take the punch, or Trea will.

  So I take the punch. And it hurts, but the pain is eclipsed by the sudden, paralyzing heat that crawls over my skin as soon as my back comes into contact with Trea’s body. It’s like she is liquid fire, and she is smothering me, stealing all the oxygen from my body and locking my muscles.

  She’s suddenly in front of me and I can�
�t even move to help her - her fingers on my chest feel like five licks of flame. Then I realize that even though the heat registers as pain, it isn’t actually painful. It seems instinctive, like stretching out a cramped muscle.

  Pallis grunts and shakes his head. He seems to feel the same fire in the hand Trea has pushed against his chest, but then he manages to move and knock her hand away.

  All I can do is wonder how he can move. Even my eyeballs seem locked in place, burning for air.

  “Pallis, we’ve had some fun tonight, but we both know where this is going. Please just leave!” Trea says, her voice softening a little at the request.

  Pallis glares at her, then at me. I can’t look away.

  He makes a growling noise, then turns and stomps away without a word.

  And then Trea turns on me, dropping her arms. Without the force of her tiny hand on my chest, I can breathe again, although my skin tingles everywhere we touched. I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth and taste a bit of blood from Pallis’s sloppy punch. Asshole.

  “What in Hades was that?” She demands. Her feet stumble as they back away from me too quickly, and something in my heart grows a shade blacker.

  “Just protecting my girl,” I say, grinning the half-smile that Pasia hates.

  Trea must hate it too, because before I see what’s coming, her palm connects with my cheek, and I swear I know what the starry sky looks like.

  I finally manage to refocus on her face, and her gray eyes are absolutely stunning. As in, I can’t move again because my brain is knocked out and my muscles are locked up. Again.

  The pain from her hand on my cheek fades as I stare into her eyes, and I feel everything growing a little cooler. A little calmer. Like she’s expended just enough of her fiery temper to begin to notice what just happened in the air around our two bodies.

  I begin to notice how close we still are. And how she hasn’t moved away, even though I can see the confusion in her smoky gray eyes. I’m getting lost in that smoke - it’s like the cooler version of a hypnotic fire, and it’s dancing in the air I’m breathing in and out.