In a Heartbeat

by Tina Wainscott

  He came to his feet and leaned on the railing. “Ah hell, I didn’t exorcise anything with Tawny.”

  “Why should I care if you did?”

  But she did. He could hear it in her voice, in the way she tried hard to make it sound neutral. Jealous women, now they weren’t anything new. But from Jenna, it touched something deep inside him. He trained his own voice to sound emotionless. “Don’t suppose you should.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Well, now that we have that settled …” He let the words drift off. Now what? The urge to apologize was strong, but he didn’t know what to be sorry for. Most likely there were too many things if he put his mind to them. “You gonna come to church with us tomorrow?”

  “Church?”

  “What, you don’t think they let in sinners like me?” He was feeling particularly wicked, the mood much more comfortable than the raw words he’d said to her earlier. “Maybe I should get some more sinning in, you know, get my money’s worth.”

  “Screw you, Mitch.” She covered her mouth as though she were shocked she’d said such a thing.

  He gave her a cocky grin. “Well now, that’s a darned good idea. Stairs are right there, honey.”

  Her shoulders hunched up, but she let them drop. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “Didn’t I just say I never did exorcise my demons?”

  He could see her swallow hard. She had the prettiest throat, long and slender, creamy white. “You’re serious about church?”

  “Ponee tradition. Preacher was the one who came out after our parents’ murders and told me and Paul he knew we hadn’t killed ’em. Said he’d stick by us, and he did. He’s fire and brimstone, all the way. Scare the sin right out of you.”

  She tilted her head. “Good. I’ll go. And I’ll pray for you.”

  He dropped back in his chair and took another swig of beer. “You do that, honey. Pray for my soul.”

  Because the truth was, while Jenna had Paul’s heart, she had Mitch’s soul.

  Chapter 14

  “What in the world are you talking about? All right, we’re coming, we’re coming.” Betzi hung up the phone and looked at Mitch, who was finishing up what had been more food than Jenna had ever seen one man eat at a sitting. “Tawny says we have to go out to the stables right away.”

  Jenna downed the last of her pills and the last bite of her frittata. Maybe it was the Texas air, or maybe it was Mitch, but she’d never eaten so much, nor enjoyed her food so much. At home, the ritual of taking her medication seemed such a large part of her day, simply because there wasn’t much else to fill it. But here, with so many distractions, the ritual became a small part, like brushing her teeth. Except, of course, that brushing her teeth didn’t keep her alive.

  Mitch slammed a glass of orange juice down on the counter and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “Is it one of the horses? Is Boy George about to pop her foal?”

  If he hadn’t been such a jerk the night before, Jenna might have noticed how handsome he looked, dressed in gray slacks and a white button-down shirt. And how nice he smelled and the way his hair curled over his collar and the one lock curled over his forehead. But that was out of the question now. She did notice, however, that his eyes were a bit red and wondered how many beers he’d had last night.

  “Boy George is a female horse?” Jenna asked, aiming the question at Betzi and not him.

  Mitch took a tortilla from the refrigerator and tore off a piece. “Boy George, pop star of the eighties, of questionable gender. Jenna, where have you been all these years, under a rock? Ready?” This he addressed to Betzi, who gave him a stern look that nearly made Jenna grin despite herself.

  “You better be praying for redemption of that attitude of yours, Mitchell James Elliot.” Betzi gave her lace collar a righteous tug.

  He nodded solemnly. “Jenna here’s going to pray for my soul. Or maybe between you both you can have me vaporized.” And then he simply walked out.

  Betzi turned a questioning look to Jenna, a twinkle in those blue eyes of hers. “Apparently we missed the real action movie here last night.”

  Jenna and Betzi walked outside into the warm, sunny morning. Mitch was already walking through the patch of pines.

  “It’s better this way, believe me,” Jenna said.

  Betzi touched her shoulder, halting Jenna in the square of shade beneath Mitch’s balcony. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, and it’s really none of my business. But I like you; you’re kind of like the daughter I never had. And Mitch, well, he’s the son I never had. Oh my, that means if you two got together, it’d almost be incestuous!” She placed the tips of her fingers to her mouth, then shook her head. “Nonsense! Whatever am I thinking? Anyway, I think you should know that you possess something no other woman has ever possessed, at least to my knowledge.”

  “Severe doubt? Insanity? Insecurity?”

  Betzi chuckled. “Well, we all have a degree of that. No, m’dear, nothing like that. I’m talking about that man’s heart.”

  Jenna’s throat constricted. “And here I thought it was something so simple as wearing out my welcome.”

  “Nonsense.” Betzi nodded for Jenna to continue walking with her to the stables. “Thing is, I really do like you. No matter what happens between you and Mitch, you’re always welcome here. That’s from the queen of Bluebonnet Manor, so don’t you doubt it.”

  Jenna’s heart warmed, and she reached out and gave Betzi’s arm a squeeze. “Thank you. I haven’t had family in a long time, and I’ve never had a real home. But this place …” Her gaze swept the green pastures and grazing horses and the butterflies alighting on patches of wildflowers. “feels like home to me, and you, almost everyone, feels like family.”

  Betzi grinned. “Tawny’ll get over it. Mitch would’ve never gone for her anyway, and Lord knows she’s been trying long enough.”

  Jenna shook her head. “You do know everything that goes on around here, don’t you?”

  “I know enough. I’ve known Mitch for so long — that would be all his life — I know his moods, his temperament.” She nodded toward where Mitch had joined a small group by the ring. “I’ve never seen him touch a woman the way he touches you. I mean those small, subconscious touches. You’ve got his heart, but he ain’t too pleased about it.”

  “It’s my fault. I’m too doubtful, insecure … insane, maybe. Sometimes I hear Paul’s voice, and sometimes I feel as though he’s here with me. It kind of freaks Mitch out. Not that I blame him. It doesn’t make me feel too stable either. I don’t know how to get Paul out of here.” She tapped her chest. “Or how to tell how much of what Mitch and I feel for each other is Paul.”

  “You’re not the first woman to have two men’s hearts, though not quite in this way. It’s not your typical lovebird problem, I’ll admit. I know what I’ll be praying about this morning.” She gave Jenna a wink.

  Prayer. Jenna had almost given up on God, especially in those days after Paul’s death. God had taken Paul away, but He’d given her life and the strength to deal with it all. He’d never made any guarantees, after all. So she’d decided to ask if He’d take her back, remembering from her childhood Bible readings that He never turned anyone away who sought Him.

  “Elves came! Elves came!” Scotty came racing at them, leaping at Betzi. She scooped him up with a grunt and gave him a bear hug before setting him back down again. He looked shyly at Jenna and gave her that little wiggly-fingered wave. “Hi.”

  She grinned, returning his wave. “Hi.” The boy’s hair was glossy in the sunshine, and Jenna fought the urge to ruffle it the way the wind ruffled it.

  “What is this you’re talking about? Show us the elves,” Betzi said, letting Scotty drag her by the arm to the ring.

  And then Jenna remembered.

  “Elves made a happy face for us!” Scotty climbed up onto the railing and pointed at the huge smile in the ring.

  “Did you do that?” Betzi asked, giving him a
feigned suspicious look.

  “No! It was the elves, I swear.”

  “You can’t swear on God’s day,” Betzi admonished.

  “But I, um …” Jenna could see his three-year-old mind trying to sort through the difference between swearing and just saying the word, “swear.” He tilted his head. “Saying swear doesn’t count,” he finally decided with a dip of his chin that reminded her of Mitch.

  Betzi grinned. “Oh, I guess you’re right.”

  Jenna eased up to the fence and pretended to be surprised. Scotty reverently reached out and touched the inside of the ridge that made the smile. “Elves, magic elves,” he said in an awed voice. “No one rides in here. We got to save it for forever.”

  Jenna had watched the kids marvel at the happy faces from a distance, but to experience it first-hand was more delight than she could have imagined. She knelt down next to him. “We can’t save it, but maybe the elves will come back again and leave another one for you.”

  Even Harvey seemed fascinated, his head stuck between the rails, nose twitching. Scotty clapped his hands, utter anticipation on his cute features. “Will they?”

  “Could be.” When she looked up, she saw Mitch watching her. He knew. If it was anyone else but Mitch, she would have winked: keep my secret. But he wasn’t giving anything away, except something warm in his eyes.

  “Etta, did you do this before your morning walk?” Tawny asked.

  “Not me, girlie. I don’t have time to play in the dirt. I have muscles to work, sweat to, er, sweat.” She puffed up her shoulders, showing even in her Sunday church dress — a vivid yellow with large purple swirls. “Didn’t even notice it. Jenna!”

  She started at her name, thinking it was some kind of accusation. Etta waved her over. “Did you meet Dave?”

  “Yes, twice. Remember, we all ate together last night.”

  “Maybe you should meet him again, just to be sure.”

  Jenna rolled her eyes, but Dave played along by shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you again, just to be sure.”

  His hand was rough, like Mitch’s, but touching Dave didn’t feel the way touching Mitch did. “Likewise.”

  They chuckled, Etta beamed and winked at Jenna, who tried not to roll her eyes. Scotty said, “Jenna said the elves might come back tonight!” Dave grinned. And the big, blue Texas sky capped the moment, making Jenna feel so warm and complete, she wanted to laugh out loud.

  And Mitch, he stirred other parts of her and made them feel alive, too. For the time being, she put away the turmoil he caused and prepared herself to sing the loudest in church, and thank God the hardest.

  Jenna lived up to her promise, and got everyone’s attention with her lousy singing. She’d forgotten she couldn’t sing. How long had it been since she’d belted out a hymn, or any song? Too long, apparently. It worked out all right, though, because the Bluebonnet clan simply raised their voices to cover.

  Although people were curious about her, Jenna sensed that because she was with Mitch, she was accepted. People admired Mitch, coming up to him after the service and shaking his hand or sharing a joke. One man thanked him for working with his son on the riding program.

  Afterward most of their group packed back into Mitch’s Bronco. Tawny rode with Dave, but Scotty wanted to ride in Mitch’s truck. Etta sat in the back humming one of the hymns they’d sung earlier. She’d done her darnedest to get Jenna to ride with Dave, but Betzi intervened and managed to get her in the front seat. Jenna wasn’t sure which was worse.

  “Did you pray for my soul?” Mitch asked under his breath as he snapped on the radio.

  “Twice.”

  “God was probably still covering his ears from your singing.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “God loves me anyway.”

  Scotty leaned forward, or as forward as his seat belt would allow, and said in his most adult voice, “You shouldn’t fight, ‘specially on God’s day.”

  Mitch did have the decency to look chagrinned. “Sorry, little man. You’re right. But since He’s probably still covering his ears, I reckon I’m safe.” In the rear-view mirror he looked at Betzi, who sat behind him. “Making brownies today?”

  “I don’t know.” She looked at Scotty. “Think Mitch deserves brownies?”

  Both he and Jenna shook their heads and said, “No!” simultaneously.

  “But I do!” Scotty quickly added. “I didn’t fight with nobody.”

  “This is mutiny!” Mitch declared. “Mutiny, I say!”

  Scotty giggled. “What’s mootie?”

  “A worse sin than fighting, let me tell you, little man.” Mitch nodded solemnly. “Especially when it involves women.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’ll give you the low-down when you’re older.”

  Scotty tilted his head. “You can tell me next week. I’ll be older then. Mitch, you gonna play foo-ball today?”

  “Yep. You gonna be our quarterback?”

  “Nah, mama won’t let me be a foo-ball Bob. She says I’m too little, but I’m big. Bigger than Toby Jones,” he said, referring to a toddler he’d seen at church.

  Jenna settled back in her seat. She still couldn’t get over Betzi’s revelation. It only added to that odd feeling she’d had for a while, that she somehow belonged to Mitch, that he belonged to her. Despite his crankiness. Maybe he’d revealed too much of himself last night and was now regrouping.

  Jenna didn’t know how to read men. Paul had never revealed too much, never been cranky or kissed her when a kiss was unexpected. All she’d learned about men through him was leaving him alone when he was in a blue mood.

  But Mitch didn’t get blue. He just got cranky apparently.

  Jenna was glad she’d brought one nice dress, a simple white cotton with the usual high collar. Since she’d rolled it up in her duffel bag, she’d had to iron the heck out of it. Earlier she’d caught Mitch’s gaze taking in the way it hugged her waist and swirled around her knees, and every second of ironing had suddenly become worthwhile. So while everyone else changed into casual clothes, she stayed in the dress.

  Betzi was assembling the ingredients for her homemade brownies, and Jenna was chopping the walnuts, marveling at how good they tasted, at how she could have disliked them before. Mitch blew into the kitchen wearing jersey shorts and that cut-off T-shirt she’d seen him in that first day. He had great legs, dusted with golden hair, and the kind of stomach worthy of those Calvin Klein brief ads. He laced up his sneakers, then abruptly looked up and caught her watching him.

  She directed her attention to the walnut she’d been chopping, a walnut that had suffered the same fate as those beautiful tomatoes of hers. It was mush, and she discretely shoveled it to the corner of the cutting board. The man was really annoying.

  “Hey! Get your finger out of there!”

  Betzi’s admonition came too late. Mitch had already dipped his finger into the chocolate batter and sucked it clean with a great deal of noise. He licked a spot of chocolate off his lip, and she remembered all too well how that tongue tasted. She cleared her throat and sent another pile of walnut dust off to the corner.

  For a moment she let herself think of what it would be like between her and Mitch without the doubts, without Paul’s heart between them. Warmth rushed through her, stilling her body as she imagined days filled with the kind of joy she’d felt earlier, and nights filled with the kind of passion she’d experienced last night. It was easy to imagine, too easy.

  Mitch wasn’t an easy man to love with his brusqueness and drive to find the truth at any cost. And then he was too easy to love, for the same reasons, for the fire in his eyes and the way he made her feel so alive.

  She was staring at his mouth, full sensual lips that kissed too well for her own good. She blinked, refocusing on her task. Easy to love. The words echoed in her mind, and she wondered if she’d ever be able to trust her feelings when it came to Mitch.

  “I’m off to kick some butt,” he said. “You gonna come watch, Jenna?”
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  “Er, I think I’ll stay here and help Betzi. Have fun.”

  He let his gaze linger one moment too long for her comfort before turning to head out.

  “I’ll come watch,” Etta said, walking in and rubbing her hands together. “Nothing like watching nubile, sweaty young men to get the blood pumping to all the outer regions.” She wore shiny lycra shorts and a tank top, and Jenna was sure she’d never seen a woman over sixty look quite that good. Jenna couldn’t imagine wearing such an outfit, even before her surgery. Maybe … well, maybe when her scar faded she’d give it a try.

  “May I escort you to the field, Mrs. Mulligan?” Mitch crooked his arm, and Etta slid her arm through his.

  “Be my pleasure. You coming, girlie?” she asked Jenna, that same mischievous twinkle in her eyes that Betzi often had. Jenna shook her head. “You ain’t afraid of overloading your new ticker, are you?”

  Jenna instinctively put her hand over her heart. “Oh, it can take a lot, believe me.” Her eyes just as instinctively went to Mitch, but she quickly averted them.

  Mitch and Etta left arm-in-arm, and Jenna was able to go back to chopping nuts again. She found that if she stood in just the right place, she could see the men converging on the field to the right of the pine trees.

  “You know, of course, that you don’t have to stay and help me, don’t you?” Betzi said, scraping the pile of chopped nuts into her chocolate batter. “I get paid to do this.”

  “I know.”

  “Thought so. But now the brownies are ready for the oven, and the ribs don’t take much effort at all, and the way you keep looking out that window, you might as well just go on out.”

  Jenna flushed, ducking her head. “You’re sure there’s nothing else I can help with?”

  “Well, you could mop the floors and wipe down the windows, and the gutters need cleaning. But I think you ought to go up and change, grab a chair from the garage and situate yourself so you can watch those nubile, sweaty young men beat themselves up in the name of the sport.”

  Jenna grinned. “If you insist.” She started to head upstairs, then stopped. “I need to wash some of my clothes. I couldn’t exactly bring my suitcase on the bike, so I didn’t bring much.”