Eureka!

by Walker Royce

  We found a rich Monday real estate report. Land rentals required significant one-year leases, but rent on the available lots was very irregular. “Am I even reading this right?” Helen asked, as she skimmed for details. Most folks we knew haven’t been hunting. Tony had a lifetime game stamp and he was a full-time MP. His pal Norm, a confirmed buffalo hunter and also a first-rate MP, elected to hunt bear with him, I noticed. Dressed in khaki, he is scary. I was ill-advised by an old Vietnam pal that hunting urban gorillas would make us heros. Well, that makes about as much sense as this puzzle.

  SYNONYMS

  Synonyms are different words that have similar meanings for a specific usage. Saying the same thing another way, synonyms can be substituted for all the words in that sentence:

  Synonyms: Distinct lexemes with comparable connotations in a given context.

  The word synonym is also one of the few words in the English language for which there are NO synonyms! Look it up. Askoxford.com claims that there are four other words with no synonyms: millionaire, fish, fruit, and toothbrush. We can find synonyms or some of the secondary meanings of those words, but for their main meaning, there are none.

  Which word has the most synonyms? According to Askoxford.com, that honor goes to the word good, with 380 synonyms. Who says we humans are pessimists? We have invented 380 words that mean good and only 324 that mean bad!

  Synonyms have evolved over time. Most of the base words were created arbitrarily and represented unique names at some time. Then new words (synonyms) evolved to refine the original word in some way so that it better suited a specific context.

  Peter Roget’s Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases, first published in 1852, was considered a necessity for students and wordsmiths born before the computer age. Today, with online dictionaries, thesauruses, and Wikipedia, we all take such references for granted. Imagine the incredible effort required to compile a thesaurus and keep it up to date without these online tools. With all the various usages of words in different contexts, as well as the continuing evolution of slang, jargon, and technical terminology, this would be an incredibly complex undertaking. Roget revolutionized the quality of writing across the English-speaking world, and I think he was an underappreciated workhorse of the 19th Century. He has always been one of my heroes for inventing such a powerful tool.

  The diversity of the English language and our never-ending struggle with accuracy and the precision of word meanings have resulted in an incredibly rich collection of synonyms. The following example demonstrates the breadth and depth of describing a state so loved by humans that they invented a ridiculous number of words for the same condition. You won’t find this in a thesaurus.

  My research suggests that the word with the record number of synonyms that mean precisely the same thing is drunk. Although good may have 380 synonyms, many, many of these have different meanings across multiple contexts. Drunk means drunk: under the influence of alcohol to the point that you have lost your sensible decision-making capability. Here are 120 words that are synonyms for drunk. There are many more than I have listed here; this is just a solid sampling of the most popular.

  I think it is safe to conclude that words with many synonyms are popular interests of humans.

  ANTONYMS

  Antonym is a synonym for opposite. Antonyms are much more complex and restricted than synonyms. Many words have no antonym. For example, what is the opposite of candle? If you try to get precise about antonyms, you quickly get into descriptions of binary opposites (like positive and negative), gradable opposites (like high and low), directional opposites, complements, and other interesting minutia. The term antonym was created in the 19th Century and has become a well-accepted element of our language.

  Auto-antonym and contranym are terms used to describe words that, used in two different contexts, have opposite meanings. These sorts of words are one of the special features of our language. Here are some everyday auto-antonyms.

  Anxious

  looking forward to or dreading

  Argue

  to be for or against

  Buckle

  to fasten together or fall apart

  Cleave

  to split apart or cling together

  Continue

  to proceed or postpone

  Downhill

  an easier approach or a worse approch

  Dust

  to remove dust or add dust

  Exceptional

  outstanding or problematic

  Fast

  high speed or stationary

  Fight with

  to fight against or fight alongside

  Fix

  a predicament or a solution

  Go off

  to start or stop

  Handicap

  a disadvantage or an advantage

  Hardly

  roughly or lightly

  Hold

  to conduct or postpone

  Lease

  to lend or borrow

  Left

  remains or departs

  Overlook

  to watch over or fail to see

  Oversight

  avoiding a mistake or a mistake

  Replace

  to restore or remove

  Resign

  to quit or renew

  Sanction

  to endorse or ban

  Screen

  to show or hide

  Seed

  to remove seeds or add seeds

  Spare

  extra or meager

  Table

  to postpone or address now

  Trim

  to remove excess or add decorations

  Weather

  to erode away or withstand

  Windup

  start or finish

  HOMONYMS, HOMOPHONES, AND HETERONYMS

  Homonyms and homophones are etymological coincidences with no real rhyme or reason as to how they came about. Technically, homonyms are words that are spelled the same and pronounced the same, yet have different meanings, such as left (a direction) and left (the past tense of leave). Homophones are words that are pronounced the same but have different spellings (such as to, too, and two). Finally, heteronyms have the same spelling but different pronunciation (such as close [to shut] and close [nearby].)

  Same pronunciation, same spelling: homonyms

  Same pronunciation, different spelling: homophones

  Different pronunciation, same spelling: heteronyms

  Different pronunciation, different spelling: everything else

  Most references treat homonyms and homophones as one thing: words that sound alike but have different meanings. What word pronunciation has the most homophones? I found one that has six different homophones: air (breathable gas), are (one hundredth of a hectare), e’er (poetic contraction of ever), ere (eventually), err (to act human, according to the old proverb), and heir (object of inheritance).

  There are many lists of homonyms and homophones on the web. Here is a list with three or more sound-alike words.

  Heteronyms are words that are spelled the same but have subtle differences in pronunciation when used in different contexts or as different parts of speech. For example, it takes only a minute to explain the minute pronunciation differences in heteronyms. You will naturally pronounce the first instance min-it and the second instance my-noot. Imagine someone learning English as a second language trying to parse all these subtle inflections. In the common heteronyms listed below, many of the pronunciations are different only in the accent, or emphasis on syllables, with which the word is pronounced.

  The confusion with these words, and hence their beauty, is that it is easy to construct sentences using the same word twice but in contexts where they are pronounced differently in each instance. Here are a few creations.

  Our company did not lead the market in lead-based paint sales.

  If we produce more produce, it will promote better health.

  The city dump had to refuse more refuse.
/>
  She wanted to polish off the Polish sausage before drinking her soda.

  I object to this object being included.

  The dove dove to avoid the hawk.

  The cameras will record several world records at the Olympics.

  The invalid had an invalid license.

  My eyes were tearing as they were tearing up my contract.

  A bandage was wound around the wound on his finger.

  We can’t desert our forces in the desert.

  The bass player loved to go bass fishing.

  What does the buck do when the does return?

  We will intimate this idea to our most intimate friends and family.

  We will subject the subject to stressful circumstances.

  He should sow his seeds after he milks his sow.

  I can present the present to her.

  Wind up the game before the wind gets any stronger.

  They will close the road when the river gets close to overflowing.

  Puzzle 9 is a fun word search puzzle that challenges your knowledge of all the standard keyboard symbols and their names. Today, we communicate mostly through computers and keyboards. Just how much do you know about all the symbols on your keyboard? The entire set of symbols and names is indeterminate, and I suspect everyone will do some web searching on “keyboard symbols” to research some of the different names that represent the various keystrokes.

  Hidden in the three (incredibly articulate) paragraphs of Puzzle 9 are 145 different letter sequences that represent symbols for keys on standard computer keyboards. The sequences can be found in different hiding places. Some are in plain sight, as with a normal word such as six representing the symbol 6 on a keyboard. Some are substrings within a single word, such as the word bee in beets or the word be in albeit, both representing the symbol B. In this puzzle, homophones—like be and bee —count as different words. Some span multiple words, such as three in the words Both re-elected representing the symbol 3. Note that in this puzzle, punctuation is used as camouflage and should be ignored in identifying letter sequences.

  The letter sequences must be at least two letters long and must be made up of acceptable English words, with one exception (paren, which is given as an example). Most of the symbols are represented with one word, but there are 15 symbols that require two words (like open paren and close paren). The symbol words you are looking for are usually the accepted identifier (like plus for +), but occasionally there are well-accepted aliases (like add). A few are rather sneaky like effor (representing function key 4 or F4) in effort. Note that both ef and for are acceptable English words. Reference The Offcial SCRABBLE® Players Dictionary if you aren’t familiar with the various two- and three-letter words for the letters of the alphabet. There are 18 different two-letter words in the solution to this puzzle.

  Many symbols are represented more than once but use different letter sequences representing the same symbol. Period and full stop are examples of such synonyms for the symbol “.”on the keyboard. Be and bee are examples of different homophones for the letter B. Multiple occurrences of the same letter sequence do not count. Each letter sequence must use non-overlapping letters. For example, the letter sequence bee in beets counts as one hidden symbol, but those same letters cannot be used for the letter sequence be. You would need to find a different letter sequence, such as be in albeit, to count each as a different instance of a symbol. All these examples are underlined in the following text to get you started. How many different letter sequences can you find?

  PUZZLE 9. SYMBOL HUNT

  We returned and entered the semi-colonial lodge. For approximately five dollars, I ate a pound of leftover hash (with super-iodized salt), beets, peas, carrots and vanilla layer cake six inches wide. “Let elders queue up first,” the Deejay piped over the intercom. Mad and baring its teeth, a dog sat by its homely, overweight master. I skied back, spaced-out in a daze. Rocky at times, I paused and came to a full stop. I was seeing double! You may have thought I had a stroke, albeit a brief one.

  Both re-elected teachers eventually won equal seats that were open. Parents lashed out left and right. The polling spaces were too close. Parental mob anger has taught our youth to have less than positive energy. They break down at a young age, especially when inertia is greater than ever. Until demanding caretakers decipher and underscore this grave control issue, we need a shift in protocol. Only doting, exotic movie stars question the negative trends. These scapegoats ignite ire. We yearn to rescue all of our best. Won’t this slippage down result in less rampage? Upper central Midwest kids function okay. Why not seize each one and put them in useful efforts?

  Here are a few prime quotes for a number of the Humvee’s solid, useful selling points: enough trunk space, barium hubcaps, locking rims, sharp vertical lines, padded seatbacks lashed with hemp, stick shift, power foot brakes, platinum heat dampers, and plush carpet inserts that last forever.

  One fun way to solve this puzzle is to provide it to a group and see who can find the most symbols in a given time, or see who can find the most symbols that no one else discovered.

  In my solution, 679 out of the 1,164 total letters in these passages are used in 145 different hidden symbols—that is 58% of the letters.

  ANAGRAMS

  An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters in a word or phrase to form a different word or phrase. Cameron, my daughter’s name, is an anagram of romance. Corey, my dog’s name, is an anagram of Royce. And stifle is an anagram of itself! That last sentence is one of my favorite lines in this book. Anagramming is great mental exercise and the basic skill required to master the game of Scrabble®.

  There are many anagram servers on the internet that can help you assess and analyze anagrams. Some anagrams are pretty ironic. Here is a list of some of the better ones.

  Dormitory

  = Dirty room

  Elvis

  = Lives

  Listen

  = Silent

  Clint Eastwood

  = Old West action

  Madame Curie

  = Radium came

  The countryside

  = No city dust here

  Astronomers

  = Moon starers

  Postmaster

  = Stamp store

  The eyes

  = They see

  The Morse code

  = Here come dots

  Slot machines

  = Cash lost in’em

  Conversation

  = Voices rant on

  Mother-in-law

  = Woman Hitler

  A gentleman

  = Elegant man

  A decimal point

  = I’m a dot in place

  Eleven plus two

  = Twelve plus one

  Debit card

  = Bad credit

  The IRS

  = Theirs

  Spandex

  = Expands

  abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

  = Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz

  abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

  = Mr. Jock, TV quiz PhD, bags few lynx

  You get the idea.

  Puzzle 10 contains a few anagrams of some of my favorite speakers, writers, and commentators. (Even the heading “Great Pundits” has some good anagrams: drug patients, ratting dupes, purged titans.) See if you can figure them out.

  PUZZLE 10. ANAGRAM TRIVIA

  GREAT PUNDITS

  THIN HINT

  1. Tall ferocity hero

  An exceptional communicator

  2. Ruined blather

  A must for international travelers

  3. Stroll whiz

  The king of mental exercise

  4. Most sad act

  High-tech hero

  5. Ferric handyman

  Great teacher of complex stuff

  6. Foggier well

  Reasoned, graceful writer

  7. Monkeys write

  The benchmark for news

  8. El mild sinner

  Most art
iculate funnyman

  9. Mean brothel kin

  Gifted speaker but overly biased

  There are more than 1000 three-letter words in The Offcial SCRABBLE® Players Dictionary. There is one set of three letters that can be anagrammed into five different three-letter words. There are only six possible ways to rearrange three letters, and in this case five out of six of them are acceptable words.

  Can you identify these five words?

  Finally, there are two different sets of three letters that can be anagrammed into four different three-letter words. Can you identify both of these sets of four words?

  MNEMONICS

  Some things are hard to remember, especially when they are ordered sets. For example, if you wanted to remember the first four men on the moon, you could memorize the names Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Pete Conrad, and Alan Bean. If your brain works like most other brains do, that set of unassociated names is hard to remember. A mnemonic device is an associated phrase or poem or visual that can be more easily remembered and related back to the original data. In the menon-the-moon case, I have constructed a simple mnemonic: Nab-a-P-cab. When I remember that, it is easy to reconstruct the order and the names from the initials of the four astronauts.