Eureka!

by Walker Royce

  Hopefully is an adverb that is commonly misused as an adjective. “Hopefully, the rain will stop.” The rain cannot be hopeful, or full of hope. But you can. “Hopefully, I am waiting for the rain to stop.”.

  i.e. is a Latin abbreviation for id est, which means that is.

  e.g. is a Latin abbreviation for exempli grata, which means for example.

  Imply means to indicate or suggest without being explicitly stated. Infer means to deduce by reasoning and estimation. Remember that you imply; I infer.

  Its means belonging to it. It’s is a contracted form of it is.

  Like means resembles or is similar or a few other things. It is not a synonym for um, which is also not a word that we should use (except in Scrabble®).

  Lose means misplace or fail to keep. Loose means free or released, not bound together.

  Moot means no longer important. Mute means silent.

  Most is a superlative adjective meaning greatest quantity. Almost is an adverb meaning nearly. To say most everybody is meaningless. Almost everybody is meaningful.

  Presently means soon; it is often misused to mean now. Currently means now.

  Principle is a noun that means an accepted standard of conduct. Principal is a noun that means a person with an important role or an adjective that means primary.

  That is used to restrict the subject and adds essential meaning to a clause.

  Which is used to add nonessential information to a clause. The difference is important:

  English standards of grammar, which are impractical, should be ignored.

  English standards of grammar that are impractical should be ignored.

  Most “which” clauses can be set off by commas or put in parentheses as a side comment without the sentence losing meaning. “That” clauses cannot, without changing the meaning of the sentence.

  Their is a possessive meaning belonging to them. They’re is a contraction of they are. There is usually a pronoun standing in for a specific place.

  Than is used to compare two or more things (a is more than b). Then is used for cause and effect (if a, then b) or temporal conditions (first a, then b).

  To is a preposition that indicates direction. Too is a conjunction that means also or an adjective that means excessive, as in too much or too sensitive.

  Whose is possessive. Who’s is a contraction of who is.

  Your is a possessive pronoun that means belonging to you. You’re is a contraction of you are.

  ABUSING ME, MYSELF, AND I

  The proper use of me, myself, and I in everyday discussions and writing is a recurring obstacle for many people, including me.

  Me is an object of a verb; it is never a subject.

  Myself is not a substitute for “I” or “me.” There is only one good reason to use myself (or yourself, herself, or himself): to refer to a subject who has already been introduced. For example, I made it myself.

  I is the subject of a sentence; it is never an object.

  We frequently misuse these personal pronouns when we are discussing other people and ourselves in the same sentence: My wife and I went to the movies. A good way to differentiate whether to use me, myself, or I as part of a compound subject or object is to remove the other names or pronouns from the sentence and then test how it sounds. Which is correct?

  They sent a cake to my wife and me. (They sent a cake to me. Correct!)

  They sent a cake to my wife and myself. (They sent a cake to myself.)

  They sent a cake to my wife and I. (They sent a cake to I.)

  My wife and me went to the movies. (Me went to the movies.)

  My wife and myself went to the movies. (Myself went to the movies.)

  My wife and I went to the movies. (I went to the movies. Correct!)

  The first draft of this book had 800 instances of the word I. Some of this was intentional: I wanted to use an informal, conversational style. But it was much too much. My copy editor, a trusted long-time colleague, could hardly bring herself to tell me how bad it was. She stopped reading after two chapters and wondered how to break the news to me without hitting the wrong nerve. Authors are a sensitive bunch. As I reread my manuscript, it was clear that she was too nice to me. The writing style was so peppered with personal pronouns that the substance got lost. I went through another complete editing pass and reduced the number of times I used I, me, and my by 300. The style is now more readable and less cluttered, yet still informal. Unfortunately, this paragraph has just added 15 instances of I, me, and my. Rats.

  USING WORDS THAT ARE NOT WORDS

  The following words are not acceptable in the English language, so you should avoid using them.

  Alright is a non-word that some people mistake for all right.

  Irregardless is a non-word that some people use when they mean regardless. Irregardless is a mistaken combination of irrespective and regardless.

  Alot is a non-word most often used to mean a lot or many.

  Indeterminant is a non-word that many people mistake for indeterminate, which means an indefinite amount.

  Incentivize is a non-word because adding -ize to a word doesn’t make it correct. You cannot incentivize a customer. You can give them an incentive.

  Towards is a non-word; toward is the proper usage. This also applies to forward, backward, upward, downward, inward, and outward. (People in England add the s.)

  Anyways is a non-word; anyway is the proper usage.

  Afterwards is a non-word; afterward is the proper usage.

  Noone is a non-word that some people use to mean no one.

  Inclimate is a non-word that some people use to mean inclement, as in inclement (harsh) weather.

  For those of us with logical brains who want to see some symmetry in the English language, here is disappointing news: English is not very logical or symmetrical.

  Here are some words that are not words but seem like they should be.

  chalante (with purpose; the opposite of nonchalant)

  foreleast (least distinguished; the opposite of foremost)

  gruntled (happy; the opposite of disgruntled)

  inlandish (ordinary; the opposite of outlandish)

  squeam (an ill sensation that results in one feeling squeamish)

  heveled (neat; the opposite of disheveled)

  grue (the ugly root of gruesome)

  ruth (the virtue one lacks if one is ruthless)

  tinguish (the same old stuff; the opposite of distinguish)

  venge (so that revenge, avenge, vengeance, and vengeful have a proper root)

  aster (a great time; the opposite of disaster)

  oderant (the target of deodorant)

  perspirant (the target of anti-perspirant)

  There are many more non-words that should be words if the language were designed by rational human beings. Alas, it was not. Therefore, we should just enjoy some of the asymmetries and anomalies. They are beautiful.

  MISPRONOUNCING WORDS

  As we rush to learn language, we pick up some expressions and words without fully understanding their roots, their spelling, or their pronunciation. Here is a list of commonly mispronounced words:

  Wrong

  Right

  Anartic

  Antarctic

  artic

  arctic

  asterick

  asterisk

  athelete

  athlete

  bob wire

  barbed wire

  card shark

  card sharp

  chester drawers

  chest of drawers

  drownded

  drowned

  expresso

  espresso

  eckcetera

  et cetera

  Febuary

  February

  figger

  figure

  fisical

  fiscal

  foilage

  foliage

  for all intensive purposes

  for all intents and purposes

  heig
hth

  height

  parenthesis

  parentheses

  jewlery

  jewelry

  kinnegarden

  kindergarten

  Klu Klux Klan

  Ku Klux Klan

  larnyx

  larynx

  lible

  liable

  libary

  library

  mannaise

  mayonnaise

  mischievious

  mischievous

  nucular

  nuclear

  nuptual

  nuptial

  one in the same

  one and the same

  ordinance

  ordnance

  parlament

  parliament

  perculate

  percolate

  perogative

  prerogative

  perscription

  prescription

  picher

  picture or pitcher

  preemptory

  peremptory

  prespire

  perspire

  preventative

  preventive

  probley

  probably

  pronounciation

  pronunciation

  prostrate

  prostate

  realator

  realtor

  revelant

  relevant

  sherbert

  sherbet

  silicone

  silicon

  spitting image

  spit and image

  supposably

  supposedly

  supremist

  supremacist

  tack

  tact

  take for granite

  take for granted

  tenant

  tenet

  tongue and cheek

  tongue in cheek

  verbage

  verbiage

  THE DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT

  The communications we encounter every day are filled with redundant junk and clutter. Here are some typical silly word choices we hear on television or see in print advertising.

  Receive this free gift as an added bonus! (Would anyone ever charge you for a gift? Bonus means something added so is an added bonus something added added?)

  This new invention is unbelievable! (An invention is a new idea, so this is a new new idea?)

  The actual facts show otherwise! (Actually, facts are always actual.)

  And at work, everyone has heard things like this:

  Let me give you a brief summary (unlike the long-winded summary you gave yesterday).

  My final conclusion is… (unlike the three other conclusions you reached without concluding).

  We made a significant breakthrough (unlike the insignificant progress we previously called a breakthrough so it would sound more important).

  There was an unintentional error (unlike the intentional errors we introduced so that we could show more progress by eliminating errors).

  Okay, okay. Some of us are obsessed with eliminating tautological pleonasms. Here are definitions of these two words, from Dictionary.com:

  tautology:

  Needless repetition of an idea, especially in words other than those of the immediate context, without imparting additional force or clearness, as in “widow woman.”

  An instance of such repetition.

  Logic. (a) compound propositional form, all of whose instances are true, as “A or not A.” (b) an instance of such a form, as “This candidate will win or will not win.”

  pleonasm:

  The use of more words than are necessary to express an idea; redundancy.

  An instance of this, as free gift or true fact.

  A redundant word or expression.

  Tautological pleonasm is itself a pleonasm; it is also tautological. Although this may seem like an esoteric topic, dozens of pleonasms are commonly used in everyday communications. They have permeated our language and become entirely too acceptable. We don’t need to change this; we can certainly laugh about it every now and then, and recognize a silly pleonasm from a rare, useful one.

  William Zinsser addresses this topic in detail when he writes about reducing clutter. Here is a choice excerpt that summarizes his view on this ugly part of our language.

  “Take the adjective ‘personal,’ as in ‘a personal friend of mine,’ ‘his personal feeling’ or ‘her personal physician.’ It’s typical of hundreds of words that can be eliminated. The personal friend has come into the language to distinguish him or her from the business friend, thereby debasing both language and friendship. Someone’s feeling is that person’s personal feeling—that’s what ‘his’ means. As for the personal physician, that’s the man or woman summoned to the dressing room of a stricken actress so she won’t have to be treated by the impersonal physician assigned to the theater. Someday I’d like to see that person identified as ‘her doctor.’ Physicians are physicians, friends are friends. The rest is clutter.”

  In the list below, the unnecessary words are shown in parentheses. They can almost always be deleted without losing any meaning.

  Some significant classes of pleonasms are excluded, such as:

  There were three in number (four in number, five in number…).

  They were red in color (blue in color, puce in color, taupe in color…).

  Eleven a.m. Thursday morning (or any specific time with morning, afternoon, or evening attached).

  A

  (absolutely) essential

  (absolutely) necessary

  (actual) experience

  (actual) facts

  adequate (enough)

  advance (forward)

  (advance) planning

  (advance) preview

  (advance) reservations

  (advance) warning

  add (an additional)

  add (up)

  (added) bonus

  (affirmative) yes

  (aid and) abet

  (all-time) record

  alternative (choice)

  (and) etc.

  (anonymous) stranger

  (annual) anniversary

  (armed) gunman

  ascend (up)

  ask (the question)

  assemble (together)

  attach (together)

  autobiography (of a life)

  B

  bald(-headed)

  balsa (wood)

  (basic) fundamentals

  (basic) necessities

  best (ever)

  bitter (in taste)

  blend (together)

  (boat) marina

  bouquet (of flowers)

  brief (in duration)

  (brief) moment

  (brief) summary

  burn (down)

  (burning) embers

  C

  cacophony (of sound)

  cameo (appearance)

  cancel (out)

  (careful) scrutiny

  cash (money)

  cease (and desist)

  circle (around)

  circulate (around)

  classify (into groups)

  close (down)

  close (up)

  (close) proximity

  (closed) fist

  (co-equal) partners

  collaborate (together)

  combine (together)

  commute (back and forth)

  (completely) destroyed

  (completely) eliminate

  (completely) engulfed

  (completely) filled

  (completely) surround

  (component) parts

  (conclusive) proof

  connect (together)

  connect (up)

  confused (state)

  consensus (of opinion)

  (constantly) maintained

  continue (on)

  could (possibly)

  crisis (situation)

  curative (process)

  (current) status

  D

/>   depreciate (in value)

  descend (down)

  (desirable) benefits

  (different) kinds

  disappear (from sight)

  drop (down)

  during (the course of)

  E

  each (and every)

  earlier (in time)

  eliminate (altogether)

  emergency (situation)

  (empirical) observation

  (empty) hole

  empty (out)

  (empty) space

  enclosed (herein)

  (end) result

  enter (in)

  (entirely) eliminate

  equal (to one another)

  eradicate (completely)

  estimated at (about)

  evacuate (out)

  evolve (over time)

  (exact) replica

  (exact) same

  (exposed) opening