Safe With Me, Special Edition

by Shaina Richmond

  I smiled. “I’m pretty sure I initiated it, so don’t blame yourself.”

  “I knew what I was doing when I offered you a ride home that night, honey.” Tyler squeezed my hands.

  “Aww, that’s so sweet.” I also knew what I was doing when I got in his car that night.

  He let go of my left hand and hit his forehead with his palm. His eyes closed as he shook his head. “It’s not sweet, Susie.”

  “Why not?”

  Tyler rolled his eyes and took my hand again. Then he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’ve never met anyone like you before in my life.” He kissed my lips gently before he backed away, holding my hands. “I'm sorry. I guess I'm old-fashioned or something. I know we're in college and we're expected to fuck anything that moves but I'm not like that.”

  “I'm really not either,” I said. “I’m just not long-term relationship material.”

  He raised one eyebrow. “Don't get me started.”

  I looked away, thinking back to the week before when he told me I was full of shit. It made me want to reach for the bong again.

  “Alright, sweetie.” He put his hands behind my head and pulled me closer to kiss me. The feel of his tongue reminded me I was sitting there wearing nothing but a pair of panties. I wanted to feel that tongue in other places...

  Tyler stopped kissing me and stood up to finish getting dressed. “I have to go make sure the house looks somewhat decent before they get here. I'm sure she'll wanna see it.”

  “She's never seen it?”

  “Nope.” He stretched his arm inside a sleeve of his flannel shirt. “I haven't seen her since I left for summer school. Wasn't planning to see her til I fly home for Thanksgiving.”

  “You mean, you haven't visited?”

  “No.” He shook his head, stepping into his shoes. “I needed a break from everything.

  Everything?

  “Shit, I forgot my jacket!” Tyler pulled me along with him as he walked to the downstairs bedroom.

  He laughed as he bent to pick his jacket up from the floor. “I love seeing you walk around topless like this.”

  I opened my mouth in mock horror, looking down at my body. “What? I wondered why I was so cold.”

  Tyler gave me a playful smile. “Let me warm you up for a sec.” He wrapped his strong arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “Mmm... your body feels so good.”

  “So, you wanna make use of this bed for a little while before you go?”

  “No. I really need to get my house ready for my mom.”

  “But I'm all naked and stuff.” Unless you count the panties.

  “I know.” His arms squeezed me tighter. “But I gotta start practicing my self-control with you.”

  I laughed to myself. Yeah right. The guy who had a fuck-a-thon with me the weekend before last is gonna have some self-control all of a sudden. I'll pass on that bet, thank you very much.

  “What's that?” he asked. “You don't think I can do it?”

  “You can read my mind!”

  He stepped away from me and laughed harder than I'd ever seen him laugh. Of course, the fact that he was probably still a bit high didn't help. “Special Indian powers, remember?”

  I'd asked him a few times if he had special powers as a part of his Indian roots. Each time, he laughed it off like I was crazy. He was three-quarter Blackfoot Indian and grew up near the reservation in Montana. It wouldn't have surprised me at all if he had some kind of weird psychic ability, as oddly in tune with me as he was.

  He took a deep breath before speaking again. “Come to dinner. My mom can back me up. I have no special powers.”

  Except the power to make me want you desperately.. or the power to make me miss you when you're not around..

  “I'm still thinking about it,” I said.

  Tyler put his jacket on. Damn, he looks good in black leather. “I'll call you before I leave my house to let you know when I'm on my way. It'll be about two hours.” He cupped my chin. “Make sure you're ready.

  “I said I'm still thinking about it.”

  He nodded. “Uh huh. Make sure you're ready.” He laughed softly as he bent his head down. Tyler's sexy brown eyes looked into mine for slightly longer than a moment before he closed them and gave me the most soft, sweet kiss he'd ever given me. His lips were warm and wet against mine. The stubble on his face once again drove me crazy like it had every time he'd kissed me that afternoon.

  Okay, I'll go to dinner. I'll do anything you want.

  I felt his firm, velvety tongue glide across my lips, then slowly in between them. His breath was hot against my face.

  I'm soooo yours... anything you want... you can never know how weak I am to your powers.

  As he pulled away, he looked at the bruise on my arm. His smile disappeared. “You're still not gonna tell me anything, are you?”

  I shook my head.

  Tyler gave my forehead a light peck. “See you in a couple hours.” And then he left.

  When I turned the deadbolt to lock the door, I thought about the four things I had to do, in no particular order.

  One, get my bong.

  Two, type out my thoughts from earlier in my journal – if I could still remember them.

  Three, call someone to talk about this Tyler situation. Maybe Sherry?

  Four, get some food. I hadn't eaten in hours and the munchies were about to drive me insane.

  I walked to the couch and took a few more hits until there was nothing left but ashes. Then I went to the kitchen. The only food in the house was a bag of pretzels left over from a recent party, and a big bag of pepperoni rolls my Aunt Donna gave me as a gift before I got back on the plane to come home. They were one of the things I loved the most about West Virginia. Pepperoni rolls at every gas station.

  They totally made me forget about bacon-wrapped shrimp.

  Then I put my t-shirt back on and sat down on in the couch with my laptop. I couldn't remember all of my thoughts from earlier, but I remembered enough.

  'Tyler thinks we can stop fucking all the time. He'll get bored with me when we stop fucking all the time. Or I'll get him to fuck me more than twice a week. Either way, I win. Also, I'm very hungry. I hope my munchies go away before I meet Tyler and his mom and her boyfriend for dinner. Wait, I'm not going. Yes I am, I'm hungry. Maybe we will go to China King.'

  Right then, my cell phone rang its familiar nightly ring. Aunt Lydia, thank God! I'd completely lost track of time.

  Lydia always had a way of being there exactly when I needed her, even when I was a kid and Mom was still alive. We always joked that she and Mom somehow still had their twin connection. Having Lydia in my life was the next best thing to having Mom.

  My feet couldn't get me to that phone fast enough. It sat in its charger on the kitchen counter. As my breasts bounced up and down on my chest, I suddenly wished I'd put my bra back on under my shirt.

  “Good morning, Lyd.”

  “It's so good to hear your voice! I'm glad you answered for once.”

  Lydia went on to scold me, as usual, for not picking up the phone most evenings. She called me around 6 or 7 pm almost every night, which was 5 or 6 am in Kenya.

  Then we talked about the new happenings at the orphanage. It always took my mind off of my own dumb shit to hear about those poor children with HIV. I often thought about moving there myself. Lydia was there on a long term mission trip, to return at her leisure - if she ever decided to return. I had mixed feelings about her coming back. On one hand, I missed her. On the other hand, she'd shit if she knew how much I'd renovated the house she'd signed over to me.

  “We just received funding for a new clinic.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes. It only took one phone call to find out it was from 'SML Trust Foundation.' The children want to send you a gift...”

  “Shit! I have to change the name again!” And possibly get a new trust banker. I decided it was time to make a long overdue phone call the next mornin
g.

  “Sweetie, I'm worried you'll run out of money. You give away too much. Save some for retirement.”

  “Don't worry about it.” I tried to keep myself from laughing. I retired on my 21st birthday.

  Lydia sighed. “Alright. So, I heard you were a day late visiting your uncle Eugene?”

  Dammit! I hate Facebook! Lydia always knew too much. “Yes, there was a layover.” Another thing I hated was lying. I’d rather just say nothing than tell someone an outright lie. But Eugene and Donna put me on the spot. I had to make up something. A layover seemed plausible.

  We spent a while talking about my trip to West Virginia. I was late because I had some unplanned business to attend to before I could leave Vancouver. Thankfully, Mitzi was there to talk me through it.

  “Did you know your Uncle Arthur's knee surgery is scheduled for the week before Thanksgiving? You need to call them. They won't be able to host this year.”

  “I know. I think I'm just gonna stay here.”

  “You know I won't stand for that! You need to go somewhere.” She paused. I knew exactly what she was going to say. “Would you please think about going to Wilmington to visit Mark?”

  “I'm not even gonna answer that.”

  Lydia's breathing changed. It sounded like she was crying. “Susie.” Her voice cracked. She took a deep breath and continued on. “Tabitha asked about you again the other day. She just found out she's pregnant again.”

  “This is why I don't answer the phone when you call.”

  “You are the most stubborn girl.... exactly like your mom.”

  I chuckled. Then I felt tears well up in my eyes. “I really miss her.” A dam must have burst in my tear ducts. Three seconds later I could barely catch my breath.

  “Susie… “ I heard Lydia crying on the other end of the phone.

  We listened to each other cry for several minutes.

  Finally, she was able to speak again. “I haven’t heard you cry in years.”

  I inhaled, sniffling. “It's the new me, I guess. Seems like I can’t stop crying today. I hate it. Feels like I'm losing my mind.”

  “No, don't say that. I miss her, too.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “You know, she'd be so proud of you for going back to college.”

  “Yeah, but she'd be ashamed of me for everything else.”

  “No. She loved you, no matter what.”

  “I wish she was here right now. I really need her.”

  “What is it, sweetie?”

  I took a deep breath. “Well, there's this guy.”

  “Oh?”

  “Sherry already told you, didn't she?”

  “She may have mentioned something. I hear you're both quite smitten.”

  “I hadn't really thought of it that way.” Damn it! The woman was in a third world country on another continent and she always knew everything before I could tell her myself. I fucking hate Facebook!!

  “I think it's really sweet that you like someone.”

  I groaned. “Hearing you say it out loud makes it so much more painful.”

  “What's the big deal? So, you like a boy. And it sounds like he likes you too. It's nice to know you're exhibiting some normal behavior for once.”

  “Shit. I don't think it's normal at all.” I took a deep breath, trying not to cry again. “Lydia, I forgave him for talking about me to all my friends while I was away.”

  I thought I heard her gasp. “What?”

  “Yes. He confessed all this stuff to me and I just forgave him. I'm not even mad. Do you think I should be mad?”

  “Oh, I can't believe this.” Her voice was weak, breaking a little as she continued. “There's hope for you after all.”

  Fuck you, Lydia. “It's not that big a deal.”

  “Yes it is. You didn't take the first opportunity to push someone away. Maybe the Lord's finally answering my prayers.”

  I sighed. “Who knows? I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's happening too fast. I've only known him for two weeks. And now he wants me to meet his mom.”

  “His mom?”

  “Yeah, she came in today as a surprise. Tyler wants me to go out to dinner with them when they get here. Apparently, she has a boyfriend...”

  “Are you going? Please tell me you're going!”

  “I'm not sure. I think I'm giving him the wrong idea. He knows I'm not his girlfriend.”

  “Susie, it's not a big deal. It's just dinner. It's very sweet that he wants you to meet his mom. And her boyfriend?”

  “Yes. His dad died a few years ago. There's something weird going on between him and his mom. He never talks about her and he kind of freaked out when she called.”

  “Well, all the more reason for you to meet her then.”

  “No.” I whined. “It's just moving too fast.”

  “You're panicking for no reason. It's just dinner. It doesn't mean you have to marry the guy...”

  “Oh God! Marriage!” My chest tightened.

  “Seriously, stop panicking. What are you so nervous about? Just go along and have fun.”

  “I don't know...”

  “Susie, sweetie, it's obvious that you really like this Tyler boy. Don't be so afraid. I wish you'd stop isolating yourself. My biggest fear about you is that you'll end up alone.”

  “What's wrong with that? I like being alone. Lots of people are alone.”

  “You like it because it makes you feel safe, dear. You need people around.”

  I wish she'd stop telling me what I need to do. I can make my own decisions. “Well, regardless, I think things are moving too fast with Tyler. He wants to start taking me on dates. Isn't that weird?”

  “What are you talking about? Start taking you on dates? Isn't that what you're already doing?”

  “Uhh... well...”

  “Say no more.” I couldn't see her, but I could tell Lydia had just rolled her eyes. “So, he wants to date you?”

  “Yes. He wants to limit the... umm.. other stuff.”

  “Okay.”

  “He wants to take me places outside the house, I guess. I don't know where exactly. He thinks it'll prove something to me...”

  “Oh! He wants to court you. That's so sweet. I think I'd like this boy.”

  “Court me?”

  “Yes. I know it sounds old-fashioned but it's really very sweet. He must really like you.”

  “How could he? He's only known me for two weeks.”

  “So? Love doesn't make any sense if you really think about it. Besides, I married someone I dated for three years before he even proposed. And he cheated on me and left me five years later.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you know what else? Sherry's parents are celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary this New Year's Eve. You know how long they knew each other before they got engaged?”

  “No.”

  “Two months. He bought her a ring the week they met. I've heard the story at least ten times. He waited until their two month anniversary because he was afraid she'd think he was crazy but she said yes. They kept their engagement a secret for a couple more months because he was afraid her dad would kill him. Have you seen how happy they are?”

  “Are you saying you think I should marry Tyler?” My pulse quickened. I wasn't quite sure why.

  Lydia laughed. “Not necessarily, sweetie. But I think you need to give the poor boy a chance and accept the fact that he likes you, even if it's only been two weeks. Let him be a gentleman and take you on dates.”

  A gentleman? Ha! He sure didn't seem like a gentleman when he gave it to me on the couch earlier...

  She continued. “Stop trying to rationalize it. Just let yourself be happy for once.”

  “But if things keep going I'll have to tell him everything and I really don't wanna have to tell him everything. I'm not even sure how much I can trust him.”

  “Susie! Stop looking for reasons to push him away already. That's what you're doing. You're scared. Just let yourself have fun. And let him be good to y
ou.”

  I wondered if Aunt Lydia was right. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I should just enjoy the ride.

  “Sweetie,” she said, “I've been thinking about you a lot. I worry.”