Safe With Me, Special Edition

by Shaina Richmond

  Crystal winced. “You okay? Need me to look at it?”

  “No. I’ll be just fine.” He led me out of the living room.

  I spent the rest of my night trying to get Tyler to stop apologizing for his and Aaron’s behavior as I helped him clean up and get ready for bed. Crystal came in one last time to make sure he didn’t need any medical care.

  He fell asleep seconds after his head hit the pillow. I lay there staring up at the ceiling, wondering how sore he’d be in the morning.

  Tyler

  Sunday, November 28, 2010

  10:04 a.m.

  Aaron sat down on the couch with a big bowl of Golden Grahams. His eyes stayed on the scores that flashed across the TV screen as he spoke to me. “So, she didn’t tell you she was letting Mom take her to church? You just woke up and she was gone?”

  I snickered. “Yep. Sent me back a message. Said she figured I’d still be in bed when she got back.”

  “At least she didn’t try to get you to come with her.”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

  This was the first time I had gotten to talk to Aaron alone since we all went out on Friday night. I slept in with a hangover until noon on Saturday and he’d left for the day by the time I woke up. I spent most of my Saturday catching up with more relatives. All of them, of course, asked why my face was bruised and cut-up. I just laughed and said “I was drunk and stupid” and changed the subject. The only person who lectured me was Daisy, but I had questions of my own for her. Like, why was she too busy to spend more than a few hours with me the whole time I was here? That shut her up. Mom’s reaction surprised me. She just gave me a sad look and kissed my cheek.

  Aaron laughed as he chewed. “Hell, I told her she didn’t have to go. Mom thinks--”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what’s your fuckin’ problem with me?”

  He shoved another spoonful into his mouth and stared straight ahead at the television.

  I leaned forward in my chair. “Come on. I’m outta here this afternoon.”

  He still wouldn’t look at me. He just chewed and watched TV.

  I smiled. “So what’d they say about your face at work yesterday?”

  His eyes darted to mine. “Same thing they always say. How’d you get so damned good lookin’?”

  I wanted to choke him. This was the kind of conversation I absolutely dreaded having with him. “Look, I can tell there’s something weird going on around here and don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Do I need to move back home early?”

  He made a sharp groan and put his cereal bowl on the coffee table. “No.”

  “Okay then. Start talking.” I picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

  “Fuck.” Aaron sat back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling.

  “Come on. Let’s get it over with.” I gave him my meanest glare. “Or do I just need to send my girlfriend back on that plane by herself?”

  “I told you. No.”

  “Well what am I supposed to do? You’re getting drunk and picking fights with me. And Daisy. Did she drop out of school or something?”

  “Don’t bring Daisy into this. She’s fine. She’s just busy.” He groaned again and moved further down the couch, closer to me. “Please, don’t talk about moving back here. Not ‘til you’re ready, okay?”

  I shrugged. “Okay…”

  Aaron put his elbows on his knees and bent forward a little closer to me. “Look, Jay. Mom knows she fucked up with you. She knows she ran you off. Everybody knows that. And you made it perfectly clear with how you acted when she came to visit you last month.”

  “Aw, shit.”

  “Yeah. I don’t know why she did that. Nobody thought it was a good idea.” His lips curled into a little smirk. “But maybe she needed to see it for herself.”

  I sighed. “No. I’m a jackass.”

  Aaron chuckled. “Well, be that as it may.” His face got serious. “All I ever hear is ‘don’t tell your brother about this.’ From her and everyone else. It’s been that way since you left but it got worse after that visit. Nobody wants to say anything that’ll make you drop out of school.”

  I nodded. “Okay. But what if you really need me?”

  “We don’t, man. I mean, we do.” He stared down at the floor and spoke softly, “Like, we miss you and stuff. It’s not the same here without you. But,” he cleared his throat, “there’s no emergency. You don’t need to try to fix everything all the time. We can solve our own shit.”

  I looked away at the TV, trying not to let myself cry. I didn’t even know why I wanted to cry. Was I happy that they were looking out for me? Was I embarrassed for not realizing it? Embarrassed because they didn’t need me as much I thought? Angry because of how I treated Mom? Yeah. It was all of those things. I waited until I could talk without getting weird on my brother. I was grateful that he seemed to be content to stare down at the floor and let me be quiet for a while.

  I took a very deep breath and blinked a few times. “So. Tell me what’s going on. I promise I won’t drop out of school. Okay?”

  Aaron eyes met mine. “I don’t know, man.”

  “Come on. Why’ve you been so mad at me?”

  He laughed. “It’s only when I’m drunk.”

  “Yeah. That’s the worst thing about it. I’ve never seen you like that before. You still just mad at me for leaving? Or did I do something? Was I an ass to you, too?”

  “Fuck.” He hung his face in his hands. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He looked at me. “You didn’t do anything. It’s just hard being your brother sometimes, you know?”

  I squinted. “Okay…”

  “Seriously. Everybody asks about you. Have I talked to you? Do I miss you? What’s your brother up to? I hear your brother has a girlfriend. Have you met her? When’s your brother coming home?” He blew out a short breath of disgust. “Sorry, dude. I’m sick of it. But Mom’s the worst. Don’t tell your brother. Make sure your brother doesn’t hear about it. Let’s fix up the house for your brother. Hey Aaron, can you house sit ‘til your brother moves back?”

  I gulped. “Oh.” It was so clear in hindsight.

  “Nobody ever asks how I’m doing. I guess they figure I got enough going on, worshipping my older brother and stuff.”

  I forced myself not to laugh. His situation wasn’t funny, but the idea of him worshipping me… that, I found hilarious. “Just look ‘em in the eye and say, ‘I’m fine. Thanks for asking.’”

  “Yeah, okay,” Aaron muttered.

  I was just about to say something when Aaron jumped up, reaching into his pocket for his phone as he left the room. His conversation was muffled behind a thick wooden door. Less than a minute later, he walked back to the couch where he slumped over and reached for his cereal again.

  After his fourth mindless spoonful, I asked, “So, who was on the phone?”

  “Crystal,” he mumbled through a full mouth.

  “You guys back together? You seemed pretty close the other night.”

  He shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

  “Well, whatever you do, don’t lead her on like you did before.”

  He took one more bite and set his bowl down on the table with a loud clunk. “Don’t talk to me about Crystal. Not after how you treated her.”

  “I’m not saying I have room to talk. Just be good to her. She’s been through a lot.”

  “Yeah, you don’t even know…” His voice trailed off. His eyes wandered aimlessly around the room.

  “What? What don’t I know?”

  “I promised Mom I wouldn’t say anything.”

  “I don’t care what you told Mom. What happened?”

  “Alright.” He let out a loud sigh. “Don’t tell Mom you know. It’s one of those things we’re not supposed to trouble you with.”

  “Okay…”

  He stared down at the floor. “Here goes. I got Crystal pregnant. She lost the baby right after Mom and Ernie came back from that t
rip.”

  “Shit! You know better. You need to wrap that thing up before--”

  “Oh really?” He snorted. “You think I don’t know that? We used a condom and she was on birth control pills. And she still got pregnant.”

  “She did?” My stomach went sour as I listened to his explanation of how Crystal was on medication that interfered with her birth control, and condoms aren’t always effective. Susie and I would definitely need to have a talk about improving our method, soon. “And Mom knows about it?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I’d just told her. I was about to tell everyone and then...” He looked off at the wall, shaking his head.

  “Tell everyone? Like, you were happy about it?”

  “Yeah. After I had time to let it sink in.”

  “But you just turned 23.”

  He shot me a mean look. “So? What’s wrong with me being a dad? I know a lot of guys my age who have kids.”

  “But that doesn’t mean you have to be one of ‘em.”

  “Shut up, okay? I was looking forward to it. We were gonna buy a house of our own. They have daycare where Crystal works, at the hospital. And we make pretty good money together.”

  “Okay, back up. When did you start seeing her again?”

  “Not long after you left. She came to the bar pretty late one night. We started talking. Ended up back at her place. Kept it casual though. Didn’t need the hassle from everyone telling us to stay away from each other. I hate living in a small town sometimes.” He grimaced. “But anyway, we kept seeing each other. She was about a month and a half pregnant when she told me. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. She said you always need to wait ‘til the fourth month to tell people.” He paused for a loud sigh. “So we waited. I told Mom the day after she came back from Vegas. And the day after that’s when Crystal started bleeding.”

  “What’d Mom think about it?”

  “I thought she was happy when I told her about the baby. But then when she found out Crystal wasn’t pregnant anymore, she seemed even happier. Said she was glad I hadn’t told anyone else. Maybe it was for the best. All that shit.” He gritted his teeth and stared at the blank television screen. “Fuck what she thinks. I know I’d be a good dad.”

  “She probably didn’t mean it that way. She--”

  “No. I knew exactly what she meant. Worst thing about it…” his face turned a light shade of pink as he took a few slow breaths. “She had the nerve to tell me I wouldn’t make a good father like my brother would.”

  There it is—that’s the reason I got punched in the face. “Man, I’m sorry. She never should’ve said that.”

  “Well?” He looked around the living room and turned to peer inside the kitchen, lifting his hands in the air. “She’s gettin’ this place all fixed up. Hoped all along you’d come back with a woman and give her a bunch of grandbabies.”

  “No. She’s crazy.”

  “You’re not gonna bring your girlfriend back here after you graduate?”

  “I don’t know if it’s that simple. Susie’s got her own thing goin’ on. Owns a house. I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet.”

  “Liar. Yes you have or you wouldn’t have brought her here to meet everyone.”

  I rolled my eyes. I knew that anything I told him would find its way back to Mom. “Whatever. I haven’t even known her that long.”

  “So? She’s got you whipped, boy.” He chuckled. “Ain’t never seen you like that before.”

  “Fuck off. I’m not whipped. I’m just happy.”

  He laughed. I was going to turn the conversation back to him when we heard footsteps and voices outside the door.

  Aaron stood to his feet. “Sounds like your ball and chain just got home.”

  I got out of my chair and slapped his shoulder, hard, as I went for the door.

  Susie

  Sunday, November 28, 2011

  4:34 pm

  Tyler collapsed in his airplane seat. “You sure you don’t want the window this time?”

  “No. It makes me nervous.”

  “Okay then.” As soon as I sat down, he draped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest. “I can’t wait to get back.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Seemed like you were having a good time at home.”

  “I was, but I’m ready for some alone time with my girl.” His hand was against my back, rubbing it firmly.

  “Me too.” I traced my finger in a straight line down the front of his T-shirt. “I need to get that blanket out of my bag.” When I got to his stomach I slid my palm down to the button of his jeans.

  He laughed and put his hand on top of mine to hold it still. “Wait ‘til we get in the air, baby.”

  “Mmm.” I closed my eyes and settled against his chest.

  His lips pressed against the top of my head. A warm, tingly feeling started right there where those soft lips lingered and spread down to my shoulders, then my arms, then to the rest of my body, settling between my thighs. “You’re staying at my place tonight, aren’t you?” I asked.

  “If that’s what you want. You’re not tired of me yet?”

  “No. You tired of me?”

  “Hell no, woman. I could never get tired of you.”

  I tilted my face up to look up at him. “Yes you could.”

  “Wanna find out? Let’s lock ourselves up in your house sometime. Just stay there for days. See how long it takes.”

  I shook my head, sensing another one of his crazy bets coming on. “No. We don’t need to do that.” I sat up in my chair and put my hand on his inner thigh. “But we can spend a lot more time together now, can’t we?”

  “Yes. Twice a week. That’s over.” His eyes got huge.

  I giggled. I hated myself for giggling like a little girl but I couldn’t control it. Every single part of my body got the message loud and clear. When we got back, Tyler was going to give it to me as often as I wanted. Or better yet… as often as he wanted. I smiled and tightened my grip on his thigh, sliding up against his bulge.

  “Hey now.” He grabbed my wrist, whispering, “I told you. Don’t get me goin’ ‘til we’re under that blanket.”

  “What?” I whispered. “If I have to sit here with wet panties why can’t you sit there with a big, fat boner?”

  “You know why. Bad girl.” He bent down to my ear. “I’ll take care of you tonight.” He nibbled my ear lobe, then he slid his tongue down to my throat and back up to my ear in one slow, teasing lick. “I didn’t get to taste your pussy nearly enough this week. I miss it so much.”

  I moaned, painfully. “You’re trying to torture me, aren’t you?”

  He pulled away and shifted in his seat. Then he folded his hands across his lap, covering the evidence of his arousal. “We really didn’t get enough time to ourselves the past few days.”

  “No. Your family made sure of that.”

  The seatbelt alarm started to sound through the small plane. Then the standard lecture came over the speakers as I fastened the belt across my lap. I clutched Tyler’s hand and kept my eyes shut as tight as possible until we were in the air.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. But that Valium was worthless.”

  “Sorry. Maybe you’ll feel better on the next flight.”

  I tried not to think about it. I would’ve paid a lot of money to get us on a non-stop flight but there were none to be found. If he hadn’t already bought our tickets I would’ve sprung for a private jet. We were in a small plane with only two seats on either side of the aisle. These planes usually made my situation much worse but snuggling up next to my gorgeous man and nuzzling his bicep made me almost forget I was trapped in a giant tin can full of strangers that could plummet to the ground at any second.

  A half hour later we were in the air and our complimentary cans of Coca-Cola were emptied and collected by the flight attendant. Tyler reached up and clicked the light off while I looked around to make sure the people across the aisle weren’t gawking at us. The only s
ounds I heard were those of a man snoring behind us, and two small children a few rows in front of us laughing and talking, only to be scolded by a woman’s voice every few minutes.

  With the armrest out of the way and my palm generously lubricated, I scooted in as close as possible and reached my hand across his lap, under the blanket. Our seats were tilted back. His hips rested near the edge of his seat with his knees pressed high against the back of the chair in front of him.