Dirty Lies

by Emmy Chandler

  “No,” he says. “You won’t. Because you’ll be gone. She’s right, princess. You need to get out of here.”

  “You heard that?” I ask, and he nods. “Well, I am going to go, but I don’t know how long it’ll take for my dad to get me a valid ID number. So check the drop.”

  He smiles, not like he believes I’ll be able to sneak anything into it, but as if he’s humoring me. “You…um… Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me, Rayla. But you deserve better than this. So, go make a real life for yourself, far from here.” Jai leans down to kiss me one last time. Then, before I can object, he takes my bag and jogs off down the hall.

  I watch until he disappears into one of the rooms. Then I slide my pistol into the back of my pants, tug my shirt tail over it, and head outside into the blistering heat.

  To my surprise, my father’s large private shuttle is sitting just beyond the last of the buildings in the Settlement B cluster. He’s waiting for me in the middle of the street, flanked by two armed guards. But before I can even take a step in his direction, I register something wrong in my peripheral vision.

  The ground is littered with bodies, all of them women from Settlement B.

  “Dad, what the hell did you do?” I demand.

  “Language, Rayla. You’re not one of these savages.”

  “Fuck that. What—”

  “Rayla!” he snaps fiercely, and one of his guards stifles a chuckle. “The women are fine. They’ve just been stunned. Now get in the shuttle before I have you stunned and dragged on board.”

  He’s bluffing. I’m almost certain of it.

  My father’s shuttle is huge. As big as a cargo shuttle, but much more nicely appointed, with an office in the back, which is nearly a replica of the one he has on Station Alpha. I wonder if there’s a bottle of whiskey in the bottom left drawer. I wonder if he’d share, if I asked for a glass.

  I follow him on board, and he waves me into his office. The ramp begins to fold up as I sink onto the chair across from his desk, and a moment later, I feel us rise smoothly into the air. My father slides the door closed, then sits across from me. Behind his desk. He sighs and leans with his elbows on the screen that makes up his desktop. “Rayla, what the hell were you thinking?”

  “Language, Dad! You’re not one of the savages.”

  “Don’t get cute. You could have died! For three days, I thought you had! What happened to your com unit?”

  “It got crushed when we landed.” The lie rolls off my tongue. Either I’m getting better at that, or my father’s not as astute as Jai.

  “I assume you still have your firearm?”

  I pull it from my waistband and show him.

  “Thank goodness. Rayla, if you had questions about your mother, why didn’t you just ask me?”

  “I’ve been asking you for years. You always found some way to avoid answering.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess I just…didn’t know how to tell you. But now that you know, I’m actually a little relieved.” He leans back in his chair. “Now let’s get you home, and—”

  “You haven’t asked about Kenny.”

  My father flinches. “I don’t need to. They recovered his body two days ago. His family’s been notified. We’re not mentioning how he died, for obvious reasons, and UA will be paying out his death benefits to his beneficiary. I believe that’s his sister.” He exhales slowly. “Rayla, please tell me you’ve gotten this out of your system.”

  “Out of my…? Dad, you lied to me. For my entire life! I don’t have a valid citizen ID number! I can’t get a job—”

  “You have a job.”

  “You think I want to inventory rations and supplies for the rest of my life? I want to go to school. I want to live on the ground.”

  “Not on Rhodon.”

  “Of course not.”

  I set the pistol on my lap and hold his gaze. “Dad, I’m leaving.”

  “I understand that you’re frustrated, and I’m sure there’s something we can do to give you a little more freedom. Maybe some shifts on one of the other stations? Or your own quarters?”

  “Dad. Listen to me. I’m leaving. And you’re going to help. You’re going to get me a valid ID number, and you’re going to pay for college. Wherever I want to go.”

  “Rayla—”

  “And if you don’t, I swear to god I’ll report you to the UA and have you arrested. Then I’ll introduce myself to your wife and your other kids.”

  He stares at me in silence, and as usual, I can’t tell what he’s thinking. “You can attend classes remotely, from Station Alpha.”

  “We’re not negotiating. I’m twenty standard solar cycles old. You can’t keep me here forever.”

  The surface of his desk lights up, and his private pilot’s face appears on the built-in screen. “Sir, we’ll be docking in two minutes.”

  Damn it. I meant to watch our approach through the window. I’ve never see Station Alpha from space.

  “I’m not kidding, Dad. It’s time. You have to let me go.”

  Finally, he nods, and I can’t tell whether he was convinced by my emotional appeal or by my threat to ruin his life. “I’ll start on your ID tomorrow. The name and number will be authentic, but the information will not. I have to protect myself, Rayla.”

  “I understand.” I don’t want to get my father arrested, but I’m more than willing to hold the threat over him to get what he owes me.

  “It may take a few weeks.”

  “Fine,” I say as a slight bump tells me we’ve landed. “But you have to keep me updated. I’m not going to let you stall for months, telling me you’re working when you’re really trying to stop me from leaving.”

  “Rayla, you’ve won the argument. There’s no reason to belabor your point.”

  But there is. He’s the reason. I’m not going to let him back out of this, like he’s backed out of every conversation I’ve tried to have about my mother.

  The pilot’s face appears on his desktop again. “Sir—”

  “I know we’ve landed, John. Thank you.” My father taps the surface, and the face disappears again. My dad stands, and as we head for the door, he says, “Report to medical for a full workup. Before I send you out into the galaxy, I’m damn well going to make sure you didn’t catch some horrible parasite from the water down there.”

  12

  RAYLA

  “Hey Lynette, I’ll seal them up!” I call as I jog down the long loading floor, past crate after crate of supplies. “Heath is asking for you up front. Something about the guards’ new name tags.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Lynette hands me a thin tablet, where a list of all the crates going out today takes up the entire screen, then she heads through the warehouse door to the office out front.

  I walk down the line of crates, reading from them as I go. I’m supposed to be sealing them, then marking them off on her list. And I will do that. But first…

  Zone four, Settlement B. Right in the middle of the shipment scheduled to be dropped on the surface tomorrow. Having found it, I head into the third row of tall warehouse shelves and dig out the package I hid there this morning, before Lynnette came on-shift. Then I open the crate and set my large package inside, pressing down on it to make room.

  It’s not much. Several packets of dry yeast to help with Leda’s “wine.” A few extra rolls of duct tape, to mend the women’s furniture. And a bunch of candy.

  The rest of it is tied into a bundle labeled with Jai’s name. He’s getting a couple of thin, rollable mattress pads, of the sort normally sent to zones one and two—the arena and the Resort. A clean thermal blanket. Several extra pairs of socks and underwear. A couple of bars of soap. A bottle of antibiotics. Some bug spray. Several books of matches. And a large shaker of seasoned salt, which I swiped from the cafeteria when no one was looking.

  It’s for his next turkey.

  I haven’t seen Jai in three days, but somehow, that feels like a lifetime.

  When the gift
s are stowed, I close the crate and seal it. Then I check it off on the list and begin sealing all the others.

  I’m on the last crate when my new wrist com lights up with a message from medical.

  Rayla, will you come in as soon as you get a chance? We got an unusual reading during your physical, and we need to retest.

  I turn in the checklist, then I excuse myself from work and head toward medical, dread sitting in my stomach like a stone at the bottom of a lake. Did I pick up a parasite? That’s all they checked for, other than bumps and bruises from my fight with Booker. And those have already healed, thanks to a prescription cream I’ve used faithfully.

  Julie ushers me into the back the second I step into the office, then she takes me into an exam room and closes the door. “What’s this about?” I ask as I sit on the table.

  “I’ll explain in a minute. I need to draw some more blood.”

  I hold my hand out, and she uses an automatic pen-shaped device to draw a drop from the pad of my middle finger. She presses a couple of tiny buttons, then scrolls through the options, and my mind races while we wait for the results of whatever test she’s running.

  Finally, she nods. “Yep. That’s what I thought.” She sets the pen down on the counter and crosses her arms over her chest. “Rayla, you’re pregnant.”

  “What?” I mean, I knew that was a possibility. But I also knew it was a really, really remote one. “Are you sure?”

  Her brows rise. “Have you had unprotected sex in the past two weeks?” I don’t answer, but she sees the truth in my face. “Then yes, I’m sure.”

  “But it was less than a week ago.”

  “Yes, the hormone levels were very faint during your exam. That’s why I waited a few days to check again.”

  “But my period isn’t even late yet.”

  She shrugs. “Science. We live in a wondrous age.”

  For nearly a minute, I can only stare at the small bandage on my middle finger, stunned. Trying to process what she’s telling me. “Why did you even test for that?”

  “Your father told me to.” She finally looks uncomfortable. “I know you’re an adult, but he’s my boss, and…”

  “Oh my god. That was not okay! Does he know the result?”

  Julie shakes her head. “No one outside of this room knows. And I won’t tell anyone.” She hesitates. “Any idea what you want to do?”

  “I…” No. I haven’t really thought about it since the second time I slept with Jai.

  “Well, you have some time to decide. If you choose to keep it, though, you’ll have to be transferred to a job at UA headquarters.”

  “I know.” I also know my father will never let that happen. “Thanks, Julie.”

  “You can’t go in there. He’s in a meeting!” my father’s secretary calls as I barge into his office. The screen on the wall opposite his desk is lit up, showing a grid of four faces—UA executives from corporate headquarters.

  “Rayla? What…?”

  “We need to talk.” I slide the office door closed.

  “Um, gentlemen, I’m going to have to call you back.” He presses a button, and the heads on the screen disappear. “What’s wrong?”

  I sink into the chair across from his desk. “I have news.”

  “I’m going to be a grandfather?”

  “How did you…?” I search his expression, trying to determine how he feels about the news, but I may as well be looking at a blank screen. When my father takes that approach with the corporate board, it means he has bad news he doesn’t want them to know about.

  When he takes it with me, it generally means his feelings about a topic are complicated. Or that he has bad news he doesn’t want me to know about.

  “Julie said she’d let me tell you.”

  He nods. “What Julie doesn’t know is that I have administrator-level access to every system on Station Alpha, and I have alerts set up to tell me when your employee ID is used to access any system, as well as when any information about you is entered into any database.”

  “You’ve been spying on me?” That really shouldn’t surprise me.

  “Rayla, I knew this day would come eventually, and—”

  “You knew I’d get pregnant?”

  “No, I knew you’d want to leave. I was just trying to give myself as much time to prepare for that as possible. Because believe it or not, I love you.”

  “I believe that.” But I also believe he’s done some very bad things.

  “Have you told your mother?”

  “How would I…?” Oh. I exhale and frown at him from across his desk. “You know about my wrist com.”

  “There isn’t much that goes on around here that I don’t know, Rayla. I ran an ongoing search for the signal when we were looking for you, and I was notified a few hours after we got back that it was online. In zone four. Settlement B.”

  “But you didn’t cut off the signal.” I’ve spoken to my mother twice in the three days I’ve been back.

  “No, and I didn’t listen in, either. Frankly, I was hoping that if I gave you access to your mother, you’d stay. You do understand that if you leave Station Alpha, you’ll lose all contact with her. The signal won’t carry very far outside our orbit, and there’s nothing I can do about that.”

  “I know. But my priorities have changed.” This baby is my biggest concern now, even if he or she is only days old. Even if—according to Julie—uterine implantation has just occurred. As far as I’m concerned, the early notice has given me a head start on everything I need to have in place nine months from now. “And anyway, Wendy wants me to go. But no, she doesn’t know about the baby.”

  My father leans forward with his elbows on the surface of his desk. “Honey, who…?” He makes an awkward gesture at my stomach. “Was it Kenny?”

  He hasn’t figured out about Jai. He thinks Kenny took me to the surface because I was sleeping with him. “God, no. He was just a friend. A good friend. And a good guy.”

  “So then who…?” he asks. I don’t answer, and my father’s gaze darkens. “Rayla. One of the convicts? Was it by force? Did he—?”

  “No! I met someone down there, Dad.”

  “You met a criminal.” Derision drips from his voice, and I bristle.

  “You’re a criminal—a man who used his position of authority to sleep with an inmate. Technically, I’m a criminal now, having stolen a shuttle from the repair bay. So maybe dial back the judgement just a smidge.” I hold my fingers a hair’s breadth apart.

  My father’s gaze darkens. But he doesn’t argue.

  “His name is Jai Janssen.” There’s no sense hiding that. My child is going to have a valid citizen ID, and when they run his or her DNA to confirm parentage for the census, the government—and my dad—will find out that the father of my child is a convict.

  Which is why he’s going to have to forge the information to get me a legitimate number.

  “I’m not sure how Jai got sent to Rhodon—I think he was a petty thief. But what I know for sure is that he helped me. He protected me. When he could have just stolen everything I had and left me to die out there. He’s a good guy. I mean, obviously he’s made some mistakes, but no one in this room is in any position to judge him for that. Jai deserves to know he’s going to be a parent.”

  To my surprise, my father nods. “That seems fair.” But he says it through clenched teeth.

  “Dad, I need you to do the right thing. For me, and for your grandchild. I promise I will keep your secrets. And that you’ll have a relationship with this baby, if you want that. But in return, I need your help.”

  For a moment, he only stares at me, and if I didn’t know him as well as I do, I’d have no idea that behind his calm facade, his thoughts are racing. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Are you sure about this?” My father glances at the small cruiser for the millionth time, his gaze full of doubt. Of worry. “I could send you down in my shuttle, with a team of armed guards.”

  “Dad. I�
��ll be fine. The fewer people who know about this, the better. Wendy’s expecting me. And I have my gun.” But he still looks skeptical. “You can monitor my flight the whole way.”

  “I don’t need your permission for that.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’ve spent four months training for this.” My cruiser is bigger than a patrol shuttle, but smaller than a transport. It’s brand new, it’s all mine, and I love it. “I’ll be fine. But I have to go.”

  “You’re sure you have everything?”

  “I triple checked. And you quadruple checked. And sent me reminders.”

  “Okay.” He nods, arms crossed over the front of his suit. “I’ll be monitoring the flight.” Which I already know. “And if you look this way right before you jump to light speed, you’ll see me waving.”

  I give him a smile. He’s not perfect. Some people might even consider him a bad man. But he’s still my dad. “Okay. I’m off.”

  “I love you, honey.”

  “Love you too, Dad. Now step back, so I can take off.”

  Finally, my father retreats into the docking bay safe zone, and I climb onto my ship. A thrill shoots up my spine as I punch the button to manually close the ramp, then I cross the small cargo area, past strapped down crates of supplies, and head into the cockpit. Where I settle into the pilot’s seat.

  My seat.

  I can’t believe this is happening.

  I run through the take-off sequence, double checking every flip, switch, blinking light, and setting. When everything’s ready—when I’ve waved goodbye to my father one last time—I put one hand on my belly, where there’s just a small pooch so far, wishing my little passenger a good flight. Then I suck in a deep breath and press the button that will lift my small ship from the docking bay floor.

  In one gentle, practiced motion, I push the joystick forward, and the ship moves toward the nano-barrier keeping us safe from the vacuum of space. I move through the barrier smoothly, and in seconds, I’m off-station.