Dream On

by Renita Pizzitola

  He grinned. “Let’s watch a movie. I haven’t seen a movie in ages. You can think up a good one for us.”

  I eyed him. “Really?”

  “I’m serious. I would love to do something as normal as watch TV.” He was sincere.

  “Okay, well what movie?”

  “Scarface?”

  Grabbing a nearby pillow off the couch, I chucked it at him.

  “I’m kidding. I don’t care. You pick. Something funny, no chick flicks.”

  “Ooh, I should make you sit through a romantic comedy.”

  “This is just a dream, babe, and I can leave whenever I want.”

  Having a feeling he wouldn’t go anywhere regardless what movie played, I grinned at him. “Okay. I did see something funny the other day.”

  I flipped on the TV and sat back on the couch. It was the most unusual dream, but by far, one of the best.

  * * * *

  I grabbed my ringing phone, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, annoyed to be pulled from my dream. At least in the spirit form I chose when to leave. Regular dreams could be interrupted by anything. I blinked and attempted to focus on my phone screen. Alex. I glanced at the time and realized I’d slept late. Clearing my throat, I answered.

  “Hey, did I wake you?”

  “Sorry, late night.” Realizing the implications behind a comment like that, I blurted a clarification. “I stayed up watching movies.”

  “Oh, are we still on for today?”

  “Yeah, for sure. Just give me a little time to get ready and head over.” I didn’t mention my close proximity.

  “Okay, see you soon.”

  An hour later, I stood at Alex’s door. He beamed as he invited me in. My heart lurched remembering my time spent with Grayson. And now standing here, looking at him, his body, in the flesh, was difficult. Conflicting emotions pulled me in several different ways. I wanted to throw myself into his arms.

  “Which first? Computer or Muay Thai?” Alex asked.

  “Let’s start with the computer, and then hit the Muay Thai. I don’t want to wear you out before I get your help.” I grinned.

  “Oh, that’s how it is?” He teased, earning him a smirk from me.

  We spent a little over an hour working on my fake business website. Everything about Alex was Grayson, the eyes, the hair, but the mannerisms were off. It bothered me. Having spent more time with the two, I picked out the little idiosyncrasies. Like twins, the looks were there but the more one got to know them, the clearer it became they were two very different people.

  “Okay, enough with this computer stuff. It’s time for a little of my specialty.” I stood and stretched my spine, sick of staring at a computer screen.

  “Should I change?”

  “I’m going to, and I’d suggest you do the same.”

  “Making me a little nervous here.”

  “Oh, you should be.” I flashed him a cocky grin and headed to the bathroom to change.

  A few minutes later, I stood in my training shorts and tank top. Alex was in a fitted t-shirt and shorts. Had it been the real Grayson standing in front of me, I could think of a much better way to work out.

  He surveyed me “How am I supposed to concentrate on anything with you in that?”

  I grinned, thinking the same thing. “Let’s get started.”

  I showed him a few basic defensive stances and then we started upper-body work. Eventually, I showed him how to add in the knees and feet. His breathing became labored and his brow damp with sweat. Whereas, my respiration remained steady and I hadn’t even begun to break a sweat.

  “Okay,” he threw his hands up and flung himself on the couch. “I need a break.”

  I looked at Grayson’s amazing physique and Alex, damp and winded. “Already?” I teased. This guy probably never worked out. “You look like you’re good shape. It can’t be that bad.” I kept my tone playful, but wondered if my reference to Grayson’s body would slip him up.

  Brushing the back of his hand across his forehead, he met my gaze. It was so minor, had I not watched for it I never would’ve noticed his slight hesitation before answering. “I, um, usually work out. Ever since I started my own business I haven’t had much time to hit the gym. I guess I need to make the time though. It’s crazy how fast you can get out of shape. But hey, nothing I do at the gym is anywhere near this level of intensity. People like you train all the time. I hardly think a treadmill can compare.”

  I found it sad that he would take Grayson’s body down with him. Another–selfish–reason to get him out as soon as possible. I sat next to him. “It’s pretty intense, isn’t it?”

  “And then some. Want some water?” He stood and grabbed two bottles out of his fridge, tossed me one. “You didn’t even break a sweat, look at me. Do you mind if I grab a quick shower?”

  “Not at all.” I was about to get the snooping time I needed.

  “It won’t take long.” He pulled off his shirt and tossed it into a nearby hamper as he headed to the shower. My gaze traced his chest and abdomen, trying to memorize every detail.

  As soon as the bathroom door closed, I jumped up. When the water started, I headed over to the computer desk. Being an efficiency, his apartment wasn’t big so if there was something to find, it shouldn’t take long. I scrambled around, picking up papers and opening drawers. Nothing. I blew my hair out of my face.

  I was just about to give up when I noticed a checkbook in his desk drawer. It was the large business kind with three checks per sheet. I flipped through it, happy to discover carbon copies. I noticed several checks written to the same person. Nadine Demaci. There was nothing more about her or why the checks were written but there was one every month, for the last several months, for the exact amount of five hundred dollars. It seemed unusual enough to make note. I memorized the name as I replaced the book and other belongings.

  I rushed back to the couch, grabbed a nearby magazine, flipped it open and waited for Alex to emerge.

  “Hey, sorry to keep you waiting,” he said, as he walked out of the bathroom, hair still damp.

  “No problem.” I smiled.

  “Want to grab some lunch?”

  “I’d love to but I have to get to work. I’ll just grab something on the way in.”

  “Okay.” He looked disappointed, but smiled anyway. “I’m going to be sore for a week, by the way.”

  I grinned, standing to leave. “Sore’s good. It means you worked hard.” I noticed the way Alex watched me. It seemed like he’d genuinely fallen for me, which triggered a bit of guilt.

  He walked over and brushed my unruly hair off my face. “Sure I can’t convince you to get lunch with me?”

  “I really do need to get to work.” His gaze made its way to my lips. The scent of soap drifted off him. I stared into his eyes flecked with green and felt intoxicated. I melted into Grayson’s arms as they brushed over my waist and wrapped around me. Lost in the moment, I tilted my head as he leaned down. Crap. I took a step back. What was I thinking?

  Alex slumped, his expression wounded. I scrambled for an excuse and then it came to me. Might as well get it out there while I had the opportunity. Time to see if he would bolt. At least if he did, I hadn’t wasted too much time.

  “I’m sorry. I feel like I’m leading you on and I have to be completely honest with you.”

  His shoulders stiffened.

  “I’m waiting until marriage.” I blurted it out, not sure how information like this should be delivered.

  “You’re a vir–” His word trailed off as he cleared his throat. I nodded as realization settled over his face. He exhaled and regained a more natural posture.

  “It’s kind of hard to talk about because I feel like at my age people have certain expectations. I might as well get it out there from the get go.”

  “That’s okay. I have no expectations for this. Whatever it is. I by no means expect that or want you to feel pressured.”

  “Really?” I gave him my best doe-eyed smile like the inn
ocent virgin I’d just claimed to be, while my insides screamed liar. What man in his twenties didn’t eventually expect that? Right?

  “Yeah. Really, no pressure, no expectations.” He leaned back in and kissed me, it was unexpectedly tender and sweet.

  Chapter 11

  Alex’s sweet kiss was harmless and he didn’t push for more. Hopefully, my subconscious wouldn’t feel guilted into blurting it to Grayson–whom I was anxious to see. I also needed to tell him about the name I’d found on the checks but it didn’t actually provide anything we needed, so I decided to do a little research first.

  The name didn’t reveal much in a basic Internet search so I started adding in other words like new beginnings, change, dreams and hit the jackpot.

  It was only one page with little detail, but it did have a picture of a mysterious redhead in her mid-thirties. It reminded me of a phone psychic, just a simple picture and the words: Change your life for the better, Change your life forever. The cheesy page preyed upon the pathetic. I felt a little sad for Alex, but also angry at the way this changed lives.

  I found only one button to click: contact. I hovered over and warily gave it one quick click as if doing so would invite her into my home. My heart raced and palms grew sweaty thinking about what this lady might do with the knowledge I was a dreamwalker, if she didn’t already know.

  The link wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would be and opened a standard contact form with blanks for a name and phone number. Odd. Why would anyone contact her based on such a crappy web page? Maybe it was for those more reluctant clients. People she met and didn’t sell in one night. It gave them the opportunity to change their mind, seek her out and score her more money. Well, at least I knew what she looked like and I’d run if I ever saw her.

  I closed my laptop and flipped open my calendar. My week wasn’t too busy, which allowed me time to see Alex and Grayson. The latter brought a smile to my face, but determined not to seem too pathetic, I wouldn’t sleep at my office when I didn’t need to, at least for a few days.

  I spent the rest of the week convincing Alex he was madly in love with me while prying every drop of information out of him, which wasn’t much. I also found plenty of time to work out which was a good stress reliever. I’d seen little of Johnathan lately, which I found unusual. He was rarely at the gym and I only saw him once during the week at my office. I did a quick dream job and I did catch a peek of Grayson, but the dreamer ended it abruptly. My life felt out of sorts.

  Alex was nice but he wasn’t Grayson. I couldn’t see Grayson unless I surrendered all control to my dreams–which I didn’t like–and Johnathan always seemed to be rushing off somewhere else. I didn’t like it. Any of it.

  When Friday rolled around, I called Penny. Alex asked me out but I lied, saying I’d already made plans. I wouldn’t spend a Friday night with him, not with my emotions all haywire. So instead I did what I knew would cheer me. I hit the bars with Penny–the life of every party and an excellent distraction.

  Several pints of beer and a few shots later, I knew I needed to call it a night. Because my current location was so close to my office, and I would save on cab fare, I convinced myself I should sleep there, but in reality, I headed there to see Grayson. The real one, not Alex, because that had all sorts of wrong written on it.

  My room spun as I lay on my bed. I couldn’t seem to find my center and fall asleep. I tossed and turned, until I passed out.

  My dream took me to an unfamiliar place, but I was happy to see Grayson waiting for me. I approached him and he grinned back, but his eyes were off. The familiar golden seemed too dark. His evil smirk grew devious. I stopped in my tracks. My stomach knotted. I heard shuffling and looking to my right, found Nadine appearing exactly like her web page picture, but with her lips twisted in a cruel way that made my skin prickle.

  “Like a little fly, you fell right into our trap.” She sneered.

  I tried to take a step back but my feet turned to lead. They wouldn’t move. I looked to Grayson for an explanation, but all I found was a satisfied smile that sent a chill down my spine. With a gradual progression, his face morphed and his eyes turned even darker. His face grew thinner and soon he was completely unrecognizable. I shook my head and willed my weighted feet to move.

  “Hi, Emory.”

  “Alex?” I asked, confused.

  The man nodded as the woman advanced on me. I needed to get back. I felt sick and knew this woman planned to steal my body if I didn’t get there fast enough, but I remained frozen. Tears formed in my eyes and my heart sank at the realization I’d be stuck in this dream forever. My legs crumpled and I fell to my knees in a helpless ball, tears overflowing down my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands, clenched my eyes shut and begged for this nightmare to end.

  “Emory.” Grayson spoke with an affectionate tenderness as his arms wrapped around me.

  I shook my head not wanting to look up. It sounded like him but I didn’t trust it. I didn’t trust anything. Warm fingers found my chin and urged my face up. I slowly opened my eyes. Beautiful golden eyes, the right shade filled with concern, met mine.

  “Is it really you?”

  “Yeah, it’s me,” he said wrapping me in a firm embrace. “This is too much. I’ve asked too much of you.”

  I wanted to assure him I was okay and dismiss everything that had happened but the sweetness that filled his voice combined with my alcohol-heightened emotions kept me quiet. He helped me up, and I peered around. The bad guys were gone.

  “We’re done okay.” His tone still filled with worry, but it also sounded firm. “I don’t want you talking with Alex anymore. One day he’ll slip up and I’ll be ready, but this is my problem and from here on out I’ll handle it. You just take care of yourself.”

  “I’m fine. It’s just a bad dream. It’s my own fault. I drank too much and had too much on my mind. Those two things combined for a bad night of sleep. I should know better. After all, I am a professional.” I attempted to make light, but Grayson did seem to buy it as he studied me.

  It never made sense how fast things shifted in dreams but somehow we ended up at my apartment. He led me to the couch where we sat.

  “Stop staring at me like that. I’m fine. It was just a bad dream.” I’d grown embarrassed over my nightmare and his gushing over me didn’t help.

  “You sure?” He eyed me warily.

  “Yes, and I’m not giving up yet.” I kept my tone steady, my attempt to sound confident and hide the fear that lay just under the surface.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stop?” He searched my expression for the truth. “I feel like you’ve avoided me this week. Between that and this dream, I get the feeling you’re done.”

  “No, not at all.” I shook my head. I couldn’t mention the real reason I’d avoided him. My emotional turmoil. Or could I? Maybe it was the dream factor, or maybe the alcohol, but coming clean about my conflicting emotions seemed like the right thing to do.

  “What?”

  “It’s not the getting your body back that I’m having a hard time with,” I motioned between us, “it’s this. When I’m with Alex, it’s as if I’m looking at you, but it’s not. When I’m in dreams, I’m with you but I don’t feel like me. Does that make sense?”

  “Sort of,” he said, frowning.

  I wondered how much of my drunkenness translated to my dreams. “I’m trying to say, looking at Alex is hard, because I want it to be you.”

  “Oh.” My confession had, for once, rendered him speechless. He offered none of his typical commentary.

  “And when I’m with you, I wish I could just be me instead of some bumbling idiot dreamer.” The afterthought seemed appropriate considering my current ramblings.

  “How much did you drink tonight?”

  “Enough.” I bit my lip. “Too much.”

  He shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”

  I would have gasped in surprise had his mouth not covered mine at that very moment.

&n
bsp; It was familiar, the feel of his lips, yet so different. Even though the mouth was the same, the technique was different. I melted into it. Was it possible to be even sweeter? I thought kissing Alex was enjoyable but it didn’t compare to Grayson. I never wanted it to end. I wanted him to get closer, meld into me, kiss away my sadness, replace my loneliness and squelch the desire that had built for him since the moment I first laid eyes on him.

  He pulled away and disappointment squashed everything else. He gave me a wary look.

  “Are you mad?” He leaned back a bit and tilted his head.

  “That you stopped?”

  He chuckled and brushed my hair off my face. “That I started.”

  Why would I be mad if he kissed me?

  “You aren’t going to whip out your kickboxing on me, are you?”

  “Of course not, why would I?”

  “Because I kissed the dream version of you, the one that can’t control her emotions or actions.”

  “Oh.” He was right. That should bother me, but it didn’t.

  “I hoped to take a lesson from Alex and kiss you while your reaction time was off. So you wouldn’t kick my ass–seemed to work for him.”

  I glared at him. “Are you ever going to let that go?”

  “I’m serious.” He put his hands up, a boyish grin playing on his lips. “I have a lot of time on my hands to think and I’ve thought a lot about you. And how badly I’ve wanted to do that for a while. You have no idea how jealous I am that my body got to kiss you before I did, but I’ve also seen you take down grown men and didn’t want to push my luck.”

  My lips curved against my will. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how easily he could win me over, but I couldn’t help it. He was funny, and I was a drunken dreamer.

  With a shrug, I met his gaze. “You’re safe–for now–but next time I see you in spirit form, and have had time to process this, I might kick your ass.”

  “In that case...” He leaned forward and kissed me again. The second our lips touched the joking innocence of it vanished. I pressed against him as his fingers tangled in my hair. We couldn’t get enough of each other, needing to be closer.