White Picket Fences

by Tara Taylor Quinn

  “Why?” she whispered.

  Her breath wasn’t supposed to catch in her throat, either. Perhaps she should have waited to have this conversation.

  Zack got up, found his jeans in the tangle of clothes and covers at the bottom of the bed and slid them on. Randi didn’t like the feeling of being the only one undressed, so she pulled on her clothes, too, and then sat down on the end of the bed, waiting.

  Crossing to the window, he stood silently for several minutes before he turned back to her. He ran a hand through blond hair tousled from their lovemaking.

  “My wife didn’t leave me for another man,” he finally confessed. The effort seemed to drain him. His blue eyes were dulled, almost lifeless.

  “But you said…”

  Had he lied to her?

  “I said she left me because she was in love with someone else.”

  Randi nodded. She desperately wanted to know the secrets he guarded so carefully. To jump into his life. To understand.

  Zack turned his back to her again, gazing out the window. Randi had a feeling he wasn’t seeing whatever was out there.

  “What I told you was true,” he said with obvious difficulty. “There was someone else. It just wasn’t a man.”

  “Oh.” Oh, God.

  Randi stared down at the running shoes that had landed at the end of his bed, reached down to put one on. Then the other. She left the laces hanging there, untied. Uneven.

  “I never had a clue,” he finally said, almost as though speaking to himself. All she could see was his back.

  “There’s no reason you should have, is there?” Randi asked, her mind reeling. She had a hard enough time dealing with the concept of women loving women, and she’d been around it most of her adult life. But for a man to find out his wife—

  He shrugged. “A guy ought to notice when he’s not doing it for his wife.”

  “Women can give pretty convincing imitations.”

  He turned then, looked at her. “I know for certain you weren’t faking a damn thing,” he said.

  “So?”

  “By the same token, I should have known that she was.”

  “And what good would that have done?”

  “All the good in the world! If I’d known there was a problem, I could have taken care of it, been more in tune to her needs, found other ways to please her.”

  “Surely you don’t think you could have affected her sexual preferences,” Randi said, aghast as she got an inkling of just how deep-rooted his anguish was. No wonder he didn’t want to trust himself to a long-term relationship again.

  He felt personally responsible for his wife’s choices. Even though he had to know better. Suddenly, so many things became clear. A man who half believed he’d failed to satisfy his wife—and feared that failure was why she’d sought the embrace of a woman—would certainly hesitate to take a second chance.

  “Zack, it’s true there are some women who are driven by men to seek the solace of a woman’s arms.” He stiffened and she hurried on. “But those are abusive men. Those women have had nothing but violence from men and seek women more for the safety of a soft haven, for comfort and gentleness, than because of sexual desire.”

  He didn’t turn around, but his shoulders relaxed just a bit, as though he was willing to listen to what she had to say. Willing to find a way out of his private hell if one could be found.

  “There are also women who, through no fault of their own or anybody else’s, get turned on by women, instead of men.” She spoke slowly, carefully. “Because of constraints put on them by social expectations, they often don’t acknowledge those feelings. They often try to fit the accepted norm, marry, have families. But the feelings are there, and there’s nothing they can do to change them.”

  He turned around now, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his eyes blazing with emotion as he waited silently for her to continue.

  Randi continued to spout facts she’d gleaned over the years in her attempts to understand some of the women around her. To not only accept their choices without judgment, but to understand them, intellectually if not emotionally.

  Zack was listening intently.

  “There’ve even been some scientific studies conducted that give credence to the belief that there’s a gay gene, so to speak.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What kind of studies?”

  “One study involved identical twins separated at birth and raised in completely different environments. If one turned out gay, in many cases, so did the other.”

  Randi wished she’d paid more attention when she’d first read about the studies. Wished she could give him something more concrete.

  He stood, gazing out into the afternoon sunshine. The man was proud. And exacting. He wasn’t going to let himself off the hook easily.

  “Do you do anything different when you’re making love with me than you did with her?”

  He turned to glare at her. “What kind of question is that?”

  She held her ground. “Humor me here. Have you perfected some new technique since Dawn left?”

  “Of course not! I don’t have a…a set routine.”

  “You’re a fabulous attentive lover, Zack.”

  His eyes burned into hers. His jaw was clenched, but he remained silent.

  “Dawn’s preferences were all about her and nothing to do with you,” Randi finished softly. “Nothing at all.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CASSIE TATE was tired. She’d come in on an early flight from Baltimore that morning, done a surgery at the clinic, seen a couple more patients, and now she wanted nothing more than to go home. She wanted to slide into a bubble bath, her long red curls secured on the top of her head, and have a drink. And if the silence got to be too loud, she could always flip on the Friday-night news on the radio in her bathroom. Or the stereo in the bedroom that was wired into the bathroom, as well.

  But before she could do any of this, she had to finish up at the clinic. She hadn’t seen Zack in more than a week, and though they’d spoken on the phone almost every day, she didn’t feel right about being back in town and not touching base with him. Discussing clinic business, making plans.

  He was still in surgery. Cleaning an elderly cat’s teeth, Adrienne, their former-Montford-student-turned-receptionist, had said. Cassie could have sat in the outer office, making small talk with Adrienne. Probably should have. But Adrienne had a new baby at home and Cassie just couldn’t bear to hear about every first the child was experiencing. First smile. First frown. First time he discovered his fingers.

  Another night she’d listen. Tonight she was just too tired.

  She waited for Zack in his office, sitting in the high-backed chair behind his desk, twirling around in it as she surveyed the room. No pictures or posters on the walls. The books so neatly on the shelves, moved from his office at the clinic in Phoenix. The files so orderly on his desk. She had a television in her office. Maybe she should have waited there. Except then she might miss him.

  She’d been wondering all week how he was doing. She’d known Zack for years, long before Dawn had been in the picture, and she was worried about him. He’d been the brother she’d never had since the first day she’d met him at college. She’d been scared and alone….

  There was one thing she knew for certain: the man was too bighearted, too generous, to spend the rest of his life sharing his home only with animals.

  Cassie knew how utterly lonely that kind of life was.

  “Hey, Cass, I heard you were back!” Zack’s voice saved her from thoughts that were getting morose.

  She whirled around in the chair, smiling as she saw him in the doorway. His blond hair was tousled, his lab coat wrinkled—and he was obviously delighted to see her.

  “How was your trip?” he asked.

  “Good. Productive. We’ve got most of the East Coast colleges on board for accredited classes in pet therapy as part of their veterinary science degree.”

  “Your accomplishments continue
to be amazing.”

  Cassie shrugged. It was easy to accomplish things when you didn’t have to answer to anyone else. Her time was completely her own, which allowed her to do so much more than most career people, who also had families.

  In some ways she was really very lucky. She spent almost every waking moment doing something she loved.

  “How’re you doing?” she asked.

  Taking the chair opposite his desk, Zack filled her in on clinic business for the next forty-five minutes. From supplies and vendors, to personnel and patients, he gave her as thorough a rundown as he always did, wanting to ensure that she was still in control in spite of all her time on the road.

  That was just like Zack, to consider her feelings, assess them so accurately. She needed to feel in control at the clinic. It was her life.

  He told her about the pet-therapy visit scheduled for next Thursday afternoon. And about an electrical outage that had shut them down for a couple of hours the day before.

  “You still skating?” she asked when he finally ran out of things to report. She’d been thinking about him and Randi Parsons all week. Worrying that Zack was going to get hurt all over again.

  He’d never survive a second breakup. Hell, she wasn’t even certain he’d survived the first, though his interest in Randi was at least giving her hope in that direction.

  “At least a couple of times a week,” he said, taking sudden interest in the files on his desk. He pulled them onto his lap, started perusing them.

  If he’d been preparing to see patients, she’d have understood. But he was done for the day. Zack had no real need to see those files.

  “With Randi?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you ignored my warning.”

  She didn’t know why she was surprised. Zack had always been one to listen and then do whatever he’d decided to do, anyway. But she’d hoped, in this case, that she’d convinced him.

  “I met the family on Sunday,” he said, tapping the folders against his knee. “Nice folks.”

  “You met her family.” This was far more serious than Cassie had imagined. Could it also be good news?

  He nodded.

  “She took you to her parents’ place for Sunday dinner.” Randi wasn’t known for bringing people home with her. There used to be articles in the paper about how closely she guarded her privacy, how she was generous with her time, with her money, but not with her family.

  “Don’t get that look, Cass. It wasn’t exactly Randi’s idea.”

  Cassie’s heart sank. “What happened?” she asked. When he looked back at the folders, she said, “You might as well tell me. I’m bound to hear it from somebody else, anyway.”

  “I learned that lesson.”

  “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but that’s Shelter Valley. And I did warn you. In this town we count on each other to take care of our own.” It gave her a certain measure of peace, actually, to be living in a town where people cared.

  Zack frowned. “You worried that my actions are somehow going to reflect on you? Everyone knows you’re the reason I’m here.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “I’m worried that you’re going to get hurt.”

  “Stop mothering, Cassandra,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m a big boy. And I have no intention of getting hurt.”

  “Tell me how it happened that Randi took you home for dinner.”

  “Her car was seen outside my house all night last Friday. Will called her the next day and the gist of it was, either I come to dinner and let them all have a go at me, or the Parsons brothers would be appearing at the clinic one by one.”

  And that news was a fitting end to this day. Hand over her eyes, Cassie lowered her head, then raised it again, looking at Zack.

  “So how was dinner?” Did she even want to know?

  “Great. We had chicken and dumplings. Mrs. Parsons is a wonderful cook.”

  “Zack!”

  He grinned. “Dinner was fine. Everyone was pleasant, at least on the surface. I can’t guarantee some of the guys weren’t hiding shotguns, but no one pulled one on me.”

  Cassie smiled. “It’s a good thing, because even you would have a tough time taking on four brothers bent on avenging their sister’s honor.”

  Sitting back, an ankle across his other knee, Zack shook his head. “Randi’s got them under her thumb. All it would’ve taken was a look from her and I’d have been set free.”

  “Weren’t you even a little intimidated?” Cassie asked, avidly curious. She wished she’d been there to see Zack confronting the entire Parsons tribe. Zack, who’d been an only kid in a very lonely household.

  “No,” he said. “I’ll admit to being a bit uncomfortable at first, but they’re really very nice people and they set out to put me at ease. I’m fairly certain Randi read them the riot act before I got there.”

  “You didn’t arrive with her?”

  “I had an emergency here at the clinic and I didn’t get out there until dinner was already on the table.”

  “What happened here?” Cassie asked, frowning. He hadn’t said anything about an emergency.

  “That was Mrs. Warner’s cat—I told you about him,” he said.

  He was right; he had. Mrs. Warner’s nine-year-old cat had been attacked by a coyote, and Zack had told her how, despite everything he’d done, he’d been unable to save him. What he hadn’t told her was that he’d come in on his one day off to deal with the situation.

  She sat back, folded her hands across her ribs. “How serious is this thing between you and Randi?”

  “We’re just friends.”

  “You’re sleeping together, Zack.”

  “Not on a regular basis.”

  “Which is how often?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business,” he said, looking at her pointedly, “but we really don’t have a relationship in that sense. We’re enjoying each other’s company immensely, but neither of us wants complications.”

  Damn. And she’d been hoping for so much more.

  Of course, because it was Randi, she was a little relieved, too. Her family’s protectiveness could become overbearing to someone like Zack. And did he know that one of Randi’s closest friends was Dawn’s new lover?

  Cassie doubted it.

  “And what does her family think is going on?” Cassie asked.

  Zack shrugged. “There wasn’t one word said about marriage.”

  “Come on, Zack. The Parsonses are good people. They aren’t going to take it lightly if you toy with Randi and then go your merry way.”

  “Let’s get one thing straight.” He sat forward, his eyes serious. “I do not toy with women, period.”

  “I know.” She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “In any case, both Randi and I made it completely clear to them that we enjoy each other’s company. A lot. But that neither of us wants anything more than that. They seemed a bit disappointed, but were okay about the whole thing. You’re right. They’re good people. I like them.”

  “You mind if I take myself out of your business and back where I belong?” Cassie asked, looking up.

  “You have my permission to take yourself wherever you please,” Zack said, giving her the warm smile that never failed to make her feel better. “In my business or out of it, you’re always welcome. You know that.”

  “You’re a good friend, Zack Foster,” Cassie said, wishing, just for a second, that there was something permanent between him and Randi, in spite of Randi’s connections. She’d like nothing better than to see him married and having a family. Unless it was married and having a family right there in Shelter Valley. With Randi he might have had both.

  “You’re a good friend, too, Cassandra Tate,” he told her. “The best. I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Me, too,” she said. The surprising thing was, she meant it.

  THEY SLEPT TOGETHER again.

  He’d promised himself that he’d keep his hands off
Randi. Telling her about Dawn had confirmed to him that he wasn’t going to get involved again. Not on any kind of long-term or even semipermanent basis.

  There was just one problem. He couldn’t keep his hands off Randi.

  They’d been skating Tuesday night, a safe, untempting and very public activity. They’d talked about her assistant athletic director who was pregnant, about one of his canine patients who was ready to deliver any day now. They’d talked about paying bills and he’d asked about the scholarship for her basketball player. Her brother Will was helping her get private funding, but her possible source was out of state for the next couple of weeks. And she couldn’t say who she was approaching in case the donor preferred to remain anonymous. Zack could understand that and felt foolish for having asked.

  Randi had a tendency to do that to him, keep him a little off balance and on the edge. Being with her was a challenge in many ways, and Zack had always thrived on a good challenge.

  They’d talked about the morning news, her family and about their joint pet-therapy project.

  Afterward he’d simply stopped at her place long enough for a drink of water and then, in spite a week and two days of success, he’d buckled without a single hesitation. He’d had his drink, set his glass down, picked her up and carried her to her bedroom as though he had every right to do so.

  This time, he’d said goodbye, very thoroughly, before he slipped out in the middle of the night.

  And here it was, less than twenty-four hours later, the occasion of their next pet-therapy visit. He was like a randy teenager waiting for her to show up. Waiting to see her lithe gait, her sexy smile. Waiting for the look that was only for him.

  So maybe they could be sleeping buddies. No expectations. No entanglements. Two households. Two separate lives. Just sharing a bed. A bit untraditional, but then, Randi was untraditional, and if it made them happy…

  “Is Coach Parsons coming?” Renee asked.

  She was playing with Angel, her canine companion, and had been engaging Valerie, her mostly silent human partner, in a one-way conversation.

  “She’ll be here,” Zack said. Running, belligerent, working up the strength to pretend she wasn’t nervous driving with a van full of dogs—all two of them—but she’d be there. He now understood why she had a closet full of running shoes. She needed them to keep up with herself.