by Susan Meier
“Undress him while I put water in his tub. Then we can bathe him and get him ready for the day.” She paused. “Unless you feel comfortable enough to play with him while I shower first?”
His dour mood instantly fled. A devilish smile lifted his lips. “Sure. Go ahead. Strip for your shower.”
It was meant to be a joke, but the air between them crackled and then turned thick and heavy. This time more than chemistry arched between them. She’d kissed him. She liked him. And he liked her.
Still, this wasn’t the time to do anything about it. Joshua’s needs had to come first.
“There are ten bathrooms in this house if there’s one.” She tried to say it firmly but her voice came out soft, breathy. “If you get any ideas, I can simply carry my clothes to another room.”
Shaking his head, he turned away. “All right. Go shower. I won’t peek.”
But she knew he’d heard the catch in her voice, a dead giveaway of what she felt. He could have pressed, forced her to admit it, but he didn’t have to. Her feelings had woven into her breathy voice. And being in the same house meant there would be other times—times when they’d be alone. When Joshua was asleep. Would they be able to pretend there was nothing between them then?
Did she really want to?
Pushing that worry to the back of her mind for later, she said, “You’re sure you’ll be okay with the baby?”
“As long as you don’t take a two-hour shower.”
She laughed at the ridiculousness of that, then unexpectedly realized his parents had probably never timed his showers after getting a huge water bill, the way her mother had. And something important struck her. Each understood the other’s loss, but neither understood the other’s normal life.
“I won’t take long. I’ll also change his diaper before I go. All you’ll have to do is entertain him while I’m gone.”
Audra quickly changed Joshua’s diaper and gave him back to Dominic. Racing through her bedroom, she grabbed clean underwear from the top dresser drawer and the sunny-yellow nightshirt from the stash Dominic had bought her.
She showered, slipped into the panties, bra and nightshirt, and then dried her hair before she padded into the sitting room where Dominic sat on the rocker watching the morning news as Joshua chewed his plastic pretzel.
Standing in the doorway, she said, “See, that wasn’t so bad.”
He turned to look at her and smiled. “Hey, yellow’s a really good color for you.”
“Thanks.” But butterflies had taken wing in her tummy. He didn’t even have to flirt with her anymore for her to feel the breathless attraction. Just being in the same room with him sent her senses reeling. Yet, at the same time, she was oddly comfortable with him. Or maybe accustomed to him was a better word. They’d gone from totally misinterpreting each other, to arguing, to being comfortable in a little over a week. Comfortable, yet attracted… like a couple?
She suddenly wondered if this was how their morning routine would unfold if they were dating. If they were to pursue the attraction, there would be times she would sleep over. Would they check in on the baby? Or actually handle the morning routine together? Since she’d spent time as Joshua’s nanny, it seemed only natural that they’d slide into the nursery and get the little boy once they woke.
The picture she imagined filled her with such a sense of rightness that she had to shake her head to chase it away.
Because it was wrong. She kept looking at Dominic and his life through her experiences, but as her mother had reminded her, his real life was nothing like the world she knew. A wealthy man like Dominic wouldn’t do baby chores. He’d leave that for a nanny. He would come into the nursery to hold the clean, dry, fed, happy baby. Changing the baby and feeding it after its night’s sleep would never be part of Dominic’s morning routine.
And she couldn’t imagine having a child and letting his care go to a nonfamily member. Not even for a night or a morning of sleeping in.
“So, are you ready to bathe him?”
“Whenever you are.”
She filled the baby tub while he undressed Joshua. As if in perfectly synchronized choreography, they slid the baby into the tub, passed soap and a washcloth back and forth, shampooed his hair, rinsed him, rolled him in his towel and took him to the changing table.
Watching Dominic wrestle the squirming, happy baby, Audra’s heart twisted in her chest. If he could simply commit, forget that he could afford a nanny, using hired care only for the times he couldn’t be home, and do the job like a normal single dad, he would be a wonderful father.
“I’m going out of town tonight.”
He said the words quietly, hesitantly, and Audra’s heart twisted again. His life came with too many pressures, too many responsibilities to be a real dad. And no matter how sad it was for Joshua to face a future of being raised by nonfamily, she needed to accept that Dominic’s life was different and quit pushing him.
“I have to leave right after dinner, but I thought maybe…you know…we could, um… take Joshua somewhere when I get home.”
“What do you mean take him somewhere?”
“He’s stuck in the house all the time, so I thought maybe we should take him somewhere… change his scenery.”
Dominic might not have time to be a normal dad, but with a simple suggestion he had melted her heart. Wanting to take the baby out was the most adorable thing she’d ever heard. He was thinking. Trying. Proving that deep down he had what it took to be a good daddy.
“Well,” she said hesitantly, “if you want to change his scenery, all we have to do is explore this house. We could show him a different room every day and not get back to the first one until next month.”
Dominic laughed. “I’d actually like to take him out of the house.”
His genuine laughter touched her soul more than any of his flirting ever could have. The longer they were together, the more the real Dominic emerged. He wasn’t the flippant playboy he liked people to believe he was. This was the real Dominic Manelli. That was why their time together kept getting more and more difficult.
Their eyes met over the changing table, and Audra’s breath stuttered in her chest. She’d never denied that his chiseled features and perfect physique attracted her. She’d also never denied that his sense of humor and fun called to a part of her that no one else seemed to care existed. But now he was adding another dimension to his attractiveness. He was revealing his real personality. There was no greater show of trust.
Desperately trying not to make too much of that, she lowered her gaze. “Special time with Joshua is a great idea. Even getting him outside is a great idea. But, again, you don’t need to go any farther than your backyard.”
“That doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.”
“It will be for Joshua. He just wants time with you. He doesn’t care where. You don’t have to spend money or buy him gifts.” She stepped back as he lifted the baby from the changing table. “It’s supposed to be sunny on Saturday. We could simply take a walk through the grounds and get some fresh air.”
He turned from the table, baby on his arm. Though his initial hesitancy was gone, he still appeared out of his element. As if he didn’t quite trust himself yet.
“Every day it’s going to get easier.”
He smiled uncertainly. “Right.”
“I’m serious.”
He said, “Uh-huh,” as he leaned over and handed Joshua to her. Forearms brushed, fingers touched, and memories of the kiss the night before washed over her.
With their faces inches apart, he said, “I’ll miss you while I’m gone.”
His nearness had always been overwhelming, but now she’d kissed him. He hadn’t just kissed her. She’d kissed him back. There was no pretending she didn’t feel something. She swallowed. “I’ll miss you, too.”
He pulled away with a laugh. “That’s the first concession I’ve had from you.”
She might not be able to pretend she didn’t feel anything, but that
didn’t mean she’d revert to old habits. A relationship between them wouldn’t work. Even if he wasn’t the playboy at heart he pretended to be, they came from two different worlds. Another lesson she’d learned from David, albeit after the fact. David’s new wife came from old money. When he’d really settled down, he’d settled with one of his own kind.
Even if she and Dominic fit together perfectly, she didn’t fit in his life. The house manager’s daughter with the millionaire owner?
No.
She wouldn’t be foolish a second time. This time she would save herself a lot of heartache by just not letting anything happen between her and Dominic.
Busying herself with adjusting Joshua on her arm, she said, “I’ve gotta go.” She headed for the door. “If I don’t get him to my mom soon so I can get dressed for work, I’ll be late.”
“Not going to let me kiss you goodbye?”
The unexpected offer of another kiss stopped her where she stood. But another kiss was wrong for so many reasons even the thought was ridiculous. So ridiculous that maybe his question was intended to be silly. Foolish. Just fun. Just flirting. Not real.
She took a breath, tipped her head sideways and smiled. “No.”
He laughed. “Right. At least let me kiss Joshua.”
He stepped over, placed one hand on Joshua’s back and balanced the other on Audra’s shoulder. Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to Joshua’s round, pink cheek, and Joshua squealed with delight.
Over the baby’s head, Dominic caught her gaze. The odd sensation she’d had when she’d returned from her shower spun a web around her again. The sense of warmth and comfort. The cozy, honest feeling of being a family. Of belonging together.
But instead of being heartened, another terrible realization struck her. Neither she nor Dominic was Joshua’s natural parent, but the three of them were bonding. Not just Dominic and Joshua. Not just her and Dominic. But the three of them. Almost like family. She knew Dominic felt it, too, when his eyes narrowed and he pulled away. That was only going to make it harder for all of them when she left.
Yet another reason to keep her distance. If she didn’t watch what happened between them in the time she spent at Dominic’s home, they would form a family of sorts and then Joshua would lose another “mom and dad.”
But how would she avoid the man she was living with, the man she ate dinner with, the man who needed the boost of confidence she gave him when he was with the baby?
She wouldn’t. So maybe the real solution was to make him see just how wrong they were for each other so that he became as cautious around her as she intended to be around him.
That night when Dominic came home, Audra was waiting at the door with Joshua. “Good evening.”
He shrugged out of his top coat. “Good evening.”
“Wanna take him?”
Though he was tired, Dominic had to admit it was nice to see the fresh face of his happy nephew. He smiled slightly. The kid wouldn’t be in a good mood every night, so this might be the only chance he got to do the right thing when it was easy. Besides, he was leaving in a few hours. He would be gone even before it was time to put Joshua to bed.
“Sure.”
He took the baby, and Audra led him into the dining room. “I had Joyce make fettuccine Alfredo for you tonight.”
“You know my favorite food?”
She laughed. “I asked.”
Her laughter broke the stupor of his exhaustion like a ray of sun dissipating fog. He walked to his seat at the head of the table. “You know this stuff is a heart attack on a plate.”
She leaned toward him and whispered, “One night won’t hurt.”
“Luckily, I have a treadmill in my office.”
She laughed again but Dominic saw the high chair beside his place at the table and froze. The last time he’d tried to put Joshua in the high chair he’d made a mess of things.
Before he could say anything, Audra reached over and took the baby from his arms. “I know you probably want to let him sit on your lap, but he’d have his fingers in your food at some point and I think that could get a little messy.”
Dominic breathed an internal sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“Hey, it’s my job to make your life easier.”
He chuckled. Funny how she hadn’t noticed that before. Or had she? When he really thought about it, she’d been the one to do all the baby duty, except if he volunteered. When she pressed him, it was only to get him to spend time with his nephew.
He took a breath. Audra seated herself and said, “How was your day?”
“Exhausting.”
“Are you ready for your trip out of town?”
“Barely.”
She laughed. “We’re not going to have much of a conversation, if you don’t say more than one-word answers.”
If she hadn’t laughed when she’d said it, Dominic might have felt pressured. Instead he relaxed. “You’re right.”
“Two words!”
This time he laughed. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I like hearing about your life.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious. You come from an entirely different kind of world than I do. Your approach to everything is different. Even our thought processes don’t work the same. What’s commonplace to you would probably be interesting to me.”
His brow furrowed. “Is that how you see me?”
“Isn’t that how you see me? As somebody from another world? Somebody different.”
“No. I just see you as a person.”
She laughed merrily. “Probably because you’re not privy to the inside of my life the way I am yours because I’m living at your house.”
He inclined his head. “Makes sense. So what would I see if I went into your house?”
“First of all, it’s an apartment. Small. Bright. Not much there. But if you went with me to work, you’d really see the difference between our stations in life. I have a boss. She owns Wedding Belles. Four of my friends do the actual wedding planning. We have an assistant, Julie.”
“The one getting married?”
She nodded and smiled, obviously pleased he’d remembered the detail. “And then there’s me. I’m the background person.”
“You’re their accountant. You’re hardly background.”
“Really? Is your accountant out front?”
“Yes! He’s our chief financial officer and he’s even on the board—”
“Maybe in a bigger company the guy who manages the money is high profile, but not a little one.”
“Your function is still important.”
“I know that. I’m just saying that’s another difference between us. You’re an out-front person. I’m background.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is all about. You’re showing me how different we are because of that kiss.”
She blushed. “Did it work?”
“No.” Yes. Not because he wasn’t interested but because he suddenly saw how he could hurt her. She had met him at the door with a happy baby, had the cook prepare his favorite meal and joined him for dinner, not for any reason but to be kind, considerate. She was a sweet person. And he liked her. It was hard not to. He wanted to spend time with her, date her, probably even sleep with her. But that’s all he wanted. Once their affair had run its course, he wouldn’t exactly toss her aside. But his calls and invitations would slow until eventually they stopped. And she would be hurt. Very hurt.
Only a complete idiot couldn’t see that; and only a complete bastard would pursue her knowing he’d ultimately hurt her.
He tossed his napkin to the table and rose. “You know what? I think I’ll get my things together and go. Thank Joyce for the wonderful dinner, but I really don’t have time to eat.”
Dominic used the day he was away to strengthen his resolve about keeping his distance from Audra. But when he returned from his trip on Friday night, just the sight of her undid all his hard work. His heart lurched in his chest and
he felt more alive than he had the entire time he’d been gone. He didn’t realize how lonely he’d been until he experienced how good it was to have someone to come home to.
She, unfortunately, seemed to believe that he was happy to see Joshua, and handed the baby to him as soon as his topcoat was removed.
He was happy to see the baby, and gratified that the little guy seemed very glad to see him. Not just because it took his attention off his feelings for Audra, but because it proved he was making progress in being a good dad.
“Hey, there, little man.”
The baby screeched and hollered, slapping Dominic’s cheeks with his chubby hands.
“He’s been moody the whole time you were gone.”
“Really?”
Audra laughed. The joyful expression in her eyes filled him with pride. She was thrilled he and Joshua were bonding, and anything that pleased her pleased him.
“Yes. I could tell he missed you. He’d probably like nothing better than to play, but it’s time for him to go to bed.”
“I’ll get him ready.” The words popped out of his mouth naturally, but once they were out, Dominic didn’t regret them. He could do this. Thanks to Audra. “Why don’t you watch TV in the entertainment room…or make yourself some cocoa?”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He stepped back, away from her. It felt wrong to exclude her. He loved having her in the room with them, even if he did the baby things himself. Yet he didn’t want to hurt her.
“You want to do a solo flight?”
He nodded, backing away again. “Yes.” His needs didn’t matter. Hers did. She’d done so much for him that he couldn’t hurt her.
The next morning when Dominic got out of bed, he immediately made the trip to the nursery to say good-morning. Determined to keep his distance, he put his focus on Joshua. But the baby was in a frisky mood and he splashed and played, causing Audra to laugh. The sound seeped into him, making him feel silly and wonderful. At ease in a way he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
“What are you doing?” he asked, tickling the baby who squealed with delight, slapping his chubby palms on the water and splashing Dominic. He tickled the baby again. “Is this war?”