by Susan Meier
The baby giggled. Audra laughed, too. Unable to stop himself, he looked over his shoulder at her and his heart just about stopped. She looked so perfect standing behind him cheering him on.
She also looked happy. Normal. Not stiff and formal as she had been when he’d first hired her. Not afraid, as she’d been when he’d flirted. Not determined when forced to confront him about spending time with the baby. But normal.
As if she were right where she belonged.
The vision froze the breath in his lungs. He couldn’t help thinking this was the way his life was supposed to be, even though he knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t want this life. He wanted his old life back. But he also knew he wasn’t going to get it, and he wondered—no he worried—that he was seeing comfort and perfection in her simply because his other options had been snatched away from him.
He pulled Joshua from the tub and handed him off to Audra, who stood waiting with a towel. “I’ve got some work to do in the den this morning.”
She smiled cheerfully. “Sure. No problem. Go now.”
Don’t be nice to me. He almost said it out loud. Protect yourself. I need somebody and you’re available and if you let me, I’ll hurt you.
Instead he said, “Thanks,” and all but ran from the room. She was simply too tempting. But he was all wrong for her, and he didn’t know how to fix the problem of liking her more every time they were together. Except to stay away from her.
When Audra brought the baby in to him an hour later—when he was in the middle of writing summaries of his meetings from the day he was out of town—it was very easy to get himself out of spending more time with her.
“All right. We both agree I need to be with the baby, but we’re going to have to set some limits.” He closed the lid of his laptop. “Especially when I have work to do.”
She grimaced. “You’re busy. Sorry. I just thought you’d said you wanted to take him somewhere today.”
She was so genuinely nice that he forgave himself for the feelings he was developing for her. He’d have to be a monk not to like her. But that only made it all the more important that he stay away from her.
“No. I’m sorry. I did say that, but I said it before I realized I would have so much work to do.”
“Maybe you can spend some time with him this afternoon?”
He said, “Maybe,” only to get her out of his office. He wouldn’t have any more time that afternoon than he did right now, but he didn’t want to argue and he knew the danger of spending too much time with her. He was simply beginning to like her too much and had grown too accustomed to having her around. Still, the pressure of the lie felt like a vise around his temple.
To salve his conscience, he worked through lunch, desperate to get everything done, to have time for Joshua. When he realized he was making time for Joshua to please Audra, he ran his hands down his face. Liking her, being kind to her, wanting to be with her was wrong, because he knew himself. In the end he would hurt her.
But it felt so darned right. She was sweet and beautiful and he liked her. Every instinct screamed that he should at the very least give a relationship between them a shot. But he really wasn’t the kind of guy to settle down, and in spite of what he’d told her when she first came to work for him, after getting to know her, he now realized she did need the kind of man who would marry her.
The phone on the desk buzzed. Rather than let one of the overworked weekend staff grab it, Dominic did. “Manelli.”
“Hey, Dom!”
Dominic sat back on his tall-back desk chair, recognizing the voice as Tom Jenson’s. Tom had been a “business” friend of Peter’s, who by default had become a friend of Dominic’s.
“Hey, Tom, what’s up?”
“I’m having some people over this afternoon to watch the basketball game.”
Because he’d rushed through his work, he was done. But he’d hurried to have time to spend with Joshua. “Sorry. I can’t.”
“Really? That’s too bad, because Alfred Longoria is going to be here.”
“The Alfred Longoria?”
“The Alfred Longoria. Internet mogul. Darned near the smartest guy on the planet. And you’ll get three hours of hooting and hollering and drinking and just plain being a guy with him.”
Which was why Tom had called him. He knew Dominic was in trouble implementing Peter’s Internet-expansion plan. If Tom helped Dominic on this, Dominic would help him the next time he needed a favor.
“And if I come over and join you, then I can probably run Peter’s plan by him and see where we’re making our mistake.”
“Exactly.”
“Be there in twenty minutes.”
Dominic grabbed a jacket and left. He didn’t give a thought to Joshua or Audra until the game was over and most of the guys had jumped out of their seats and headed for their coats and cars. Wives and kids were waiting for them.
Dominic half rose, guilt surfacing for the first time that afternoon. He had a temporary nanny and a baby boy who didn’t even know where he’d gone. He’d run because he was afraid of what he was beginning to feel for Audra. But he’d also come to Tom’s to see Alfred Longoria and he hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him. Wouldn’t it kill two birds with one stone to stay a bit longer?
“What’ll it be, Al?” Tom asked, heading for the bar. “Another beer or your coat?”
“I’m not in any hurry to get home,” Alfred said, laughing before he chugged the remainder of the beer he held. “So make it a beer.”
The thrill of an opportunity raced through Dominic and he sat down again.
Then Alfred added, “I could kick myself for not letting my lawyer draw up a prenup.”
And Dominic knew now was not the time to bring up his Internet-expansion problems.
“Trouble in paradise?” Tom asked as he rounded the bar and approached the seating arrangement with three beers.
“Hell, yeah,” Alfred said as Tom passed two brown bottles to Dominic and Alfred. “My wife likes the money. She just doesn’t want me to work.”
Dominic had heard his father scream a version of those words to his mother so many times that they still sent a rush of fear through him. His mother also had been a disappointment to his dad. He didn’t need a therapist to tell him that was another reason he’d never tried to be like his dad, why he paid little or no attention to him. Why he didn’t have a clue how to raise a child or run a business.
Ed Nevel emerged from the hall bathroom off Tom’s basement retreat. He grabbed his jacket from the rack by the bar. “Hey, Dom, I’m going to Shady Hady’s tonight. Wanna come with? Erin’s going to be there.”
Dominic and Erin had been Boston’s hot couple in the weeks before Peter’s death. And by hot he didn’t merely mean popular. From the second they’d met they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. Yet he hadn’t even thought of her in weeks. Tonight, when he did remember her, he felt nothing. “Thanks, but no, thanks.”
Alfred groaned. “Oh, come on. You’ve got a hot woman waiting for you at a club and you don’t want to go?”
Visions of his awkward nights out, not having a good time but feeling trapped, filled Dominic’s head.
“No.”
But even as he declined the offer, Dominic regretted it. He didn’t exactly want to see Erin, but he needed a night out. He needed some fun. No, he didn’t need “fun” per se. The truth was he was lonely. Alone. Tired of being all by himself in a house with twenty or thirty servants and no one to talk to.
Except Audra. Maybe that’s why they were developing feelings for each other that were all wrong.
Ed shook his head. “Whatever, Dom. See you around.”
Tom said, “See you around, Ed.”
As Ed disappeared up the stairs, Tom skillfully directed the conversation to Manelli Holdings’ failing plan to launch three new Internet sites. In his element, Alfred rattled off six or eight reasons the plan was in trouble, as well as six or eight good ideas Dominic and his team
hadn’t thought of. They debated all the angles. Almost completely revised Dominic’s simplistic impression of a very complicated enterprise and suddenly it was nine o’clock.
Alfred bounced off the couch, reaching for his cell phone. “Oh, crap. I’m going to be shot. By now Stella’s home. She’s tried on her purchases, had two glasses of wine and is getting angrier by the second that I’m not home.” He hit a speed-dial number and called his driver.
Dominic said, “Blame me. It was the discussion of my business that kept you.”
“Screw that,” Alfred replied, shrugging into his coat. “I should be allowed to have a day out without having to explain myself.”
Tom muttered something sympathetic and then led Dominic and Alfred up the stairs to the foyer of Tom’s stunning home. The front door opened and Mabel Fortune, Tom’s longtime girlfriend, walked in.
“Oh-oh.” Mabel shook her long red hair off her face and it rippled down her back. “Guys’ afternoon not over?”
Tom kissed her cheek hello. “We’re clearing out now.”
Mabel displayed the two grocery bags on her arms. “Too late for supper?”
“How about if I cook you breakfast?”
She laughed. “Sounds promising. I’ll put these away and see you upstairs.” She glanced at Dominic and Alfred. “Nice to see you both.”
Dominic and Alfred mumbled something appropriate, watching Mabel as she walked down the hall and disappeared. Alfred’s cell phone buzzed, announcing his driver, and within seconds Alfred was also gone.
Dominic said good-night and he, too, left. But on the way to his car, he realized something so important that he sat without saying a word while his driver took him home.
Ed was a player. He had time. He had money. He could do what he wanted when he wanted. With whom he wanted. But with a baby to raise and a business to run, that option had gone for Dominic.
Alfred was miserable. Married to a woman who probably didn’t work and had too much time on her hands, who wanted Alfred to entertain her. Just as Dominic’s parents had been before his dad had retired to Florida.
But Tom was happy. He and Mabel—a lawyer every bit as busy as Tom—were a perfect combination. Neither one of them had time to commit to a marriage any more than they had time to continually jet around, looking for love, sex or even amusement. They were equals. Equally independent, equally busy, equally successful, they clicked sexually…and had no time for a family.
Dominic suddenly saw that he was made for a relationship like Tom and Mabel’s. And even though Audra was the woman who currently haunted his dreams and made him want to stay home on a night he should have been dying to go out, she wasn’t the woman to have that kind of relationship with him. One guy had already hurt her. And she was falling for Dominic. He needed to get his head on straight and do the right thing—leave her alone.
And maybe the way to do that would be to find his own Mabel Fortune?
“Where were you?”
Audra pounced on Dominic the minute he stepped into his foyer. For two seconds he wondered why it had saddened him that he had to stay away from her. Then he looked into her soft blue eyes, saw her ever-present smile and realized she hadn’t pounced, he’d simply interpreted it as her hounding him because he didn’t want her to be so nice that he fell in love with her.
He shrugged out of his jacket. “I went to a friend’s house to watch the game. I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“I probably should scold you, but watching a game with friends sounds like fun.”
“Once again it was business.”
“I’m sorry.”
He snorted a laugh, heading down the hall to the den for a few minutes of privacy before he went to bed. “Once again it’s not your fault.”
Unfortunately, speaking as he walked encouraged her to follow him.
“No, but you know I don’t mind talking about it.”
At the last dinner they’d had together she’d seemed determined to point out how different their lives were. He supposed this was an extension of that conversation. Talking about their lives to make sure they both realized they weren’t a good match. But they didn’t need to continue it. He knew they were worlds apart. He’d made a plan to keep himself from getting too close to her. It wasn’t something he could tell her, but it was a done deal. She was safe.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“We could start with why you’re sullen when an afternoon with friends should have made you chatty.”
Stepping into the den furnished in the same dark brown leather furniture that had been there since he was a child, he burst out laughing. “Men don’t get chatty.” He strode to a discreet armoire, opened a door revealing the bar and reached for the Scotch. “My dad would have a real field day with you.”
She grimaced. “I’m sure he has some redeeming qualities.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s a peach.” He displayed the bottle of Scotch and she declined a drink with a shake of her head. Before she could ask him another question about his life or continue a conversation he didn’t care to get into, he said, “So what else do you do at Wedding Belles?”
Not even a bit thrown off by the change of subject, she shrugged. “I told you, all I do is add and subtract and make budgets and forecasts. I’d really like to talk about you.”
“No kidding.”
“Seriously. I know your life has been hard these past few weeks, and I’m here. Why not talk?”
He drew a breath. Because he didn’t want to. Because there was no point. Because every time he talked to her they got a little closer and that was wrong. Because he didn’t want to hurt her.
“We could talk about your brother.”
“This isn’t the time or place.”
“You’ve got to talk about it sometime.”
“Not really. My father always said real men don’t talk. Especially not about feelings.”
“Okay. Now I’m starting to think your dad must be a real piece of work.”
She didn’t know the half of it. “And he’s happily settled in Miami right now. Over a thousand miles away. So there’s no point in discussing him.”
“Actually, with him that far away I’d think you would feel free to talk.”
He laughed. “Huh!”
“Come on. Tell me some stuff about your brother.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Because I want so badly to tell you that I know it has to be wrong. “Not tonight.”
“You’re obviously angry with him. Probably in the anger stage of grief.”
He pounded his fist on the bar. “That’s enough!”
The sound of his fist echoed in the suddenly silent room.
Audra took a step back. “I’m sorry.”
Overwhelmed, he ran his fingers through his short hair, spiking it. “No, I’m sorry. I just don’t like being pushed.”
The sound of Joshua crying filled the office from a monitor somewhere. Dominic hadn’t even known they’d installed monitors. Yet another thing she’d done for him because she was good and smart. While he was nothing but bitter and angry and difficult with her.
Audra turned to the door. “He’s probably wet. I’ll go upstairs and change him.”
Dominic grabbed the bottle of Scotch again, not watching her go. But when he knew he was alone, he rubbed his hand across his mouth. Damn it. He was losing his mind. He dropped the Scotch on the bar and ran up the stairs.
When he opened the door to the nursery, Audra was changing Joshua’s diaper.
“I was right. He’s just wet. He’ll probably go back to sleep the second I lay him in the crib.”
“Look. There are two really good reasons I don’t want to talk about my brother. The first is that I don’t want to say unkind things about him.”
“I understand.”
He ran his hand across the back of his neck. “Audra, you couldn’t possibly understand. A few nights ago even you admitted it. Our lives are worlds apart.�
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“Okay.”
“Damn it! Don’t be nice to me! Don’t forgive me for yelling.”
She shook her head. “What do you want me to do? Yell back? Not in front of the baby.”
“Right.” He blew out his breath harshly. “The thing is my dad pitted me and Peter against each other when we were younger, until Peter was the one who proved himself to be the person suited to run the family conglomerate.”
“Wow. Your dad gave you a shot?”
He laughed. “Trust you to find the sunny side of what my dad did. But no. He did not give me a shot. My dad was showing Peter he wasn’t a shoo-in just because he was the elder. Unfortunately, to do that he more or less had to humiliate me.”
She grimaced, lifting Joshua off the changing table. “Ouch.”
“My dad wasn’t always nice.”
“He was one of those turn-his-boys-into-men kind of dads.”
“Exactly.” Not at all. His dad had been a cruel disciplinarian. The lucky end result had been that his boys had become men, but that was more because Dominic and Peter had formed a team. Helped each other. Peter had rescued Dominic, then Dominic had become his right-hand man.
Dominic meandered through the quiet nursery. He picked up a small statue of a bear with its paw in a jar of honey and examined it. “I’m going to stink as a father. My dad was such a bad example of parenting that I seriously don’t know how to be a dad.”
“But Peter did it.”
“Peter could do anything.” He turned from the small dresser and caught her gaze. “And I’m not bitter. I loved my brother. I didn’t want him to die. I most certainly didn’t want to be handed everything he had earned. I failed in the competition, so I wasn’t trained to do any of this. Peter was. And that’s the man, the example Joshua should see.”
“But you’re doing fine.”
He laughed. “I’m the also-ran. Peter was the star, yet every day I’ll live with the knowledge that Joshua will never see that. Never know his dad. Never see him or talk to him.”
Suddenly tired, he headed for the door, but he stopped and faced her again. “And, yes. I think that’s unfair to Joshua.”