She was quite relieved, then, when a copy of one of her thank-you notes drifted onto her face and woke her.
Moxy took the note off her face and read it over. “Oh, good job!” she said.
By now the air was thick with flying thank-you notes. They covered the floor like big, flat snowflakes.
Here is a photograph Mark took of the thank-you notes as they shot out of the copier.
“That’s all right,” Moxy called back. “I can always use extras for birthdays and half birthdays, that sort of thing.”
Moxy lay back on Ajax’s La-Z-Boy. Somewhere between being Eleanor Roosevelt and being Moxy Maxwell, an important thought had occurred to her. But she couldn’t remember what it was.
Then Granny George came over and covered Moxy’s face with an afghan.
“How’s your cold?” asked Granny George.
“It’s an absolute misery,” replied Moxy. Even though Moxy didn’t have a cold, sometimes it was easier to go along with what Granny George thought was going on.
chapter 43
Moxy Suddenly Remembers What She Almost Forgot
“You guys, there’s no ‘Thank You’ written on the outside of these thank-you notes!” cried Moxy.
You really couldn’t hear her, though. Here’s why:
1. There was the vibration of the copier.
2. There was the sound of each thank-you note being launched into the room at the rate of one every 11 seconds (as Mark calculated it).
3. There was the fact that Moxy’s mouth was covered with an afghan.
“Would you like soup or would you like to starve?” asked Granny George. Granny George was always forgetting whether you were supposed to feed a cold and starve a fever or the other way around.
chapter 44
In Which Moxy Takes Action
Slowly, very slowly, Moxy climbed onto the arm of Ajax’s chair. She held the afghan over her head to protect her face from flying thank-you notes and then she jumped.
Here is a picture Mark took of Moxy jumping off the arm of Ajax’s chair with the afghan covering her face. He called it “She Walks! She Talks! She Even Flies! No, She Doesn’t.”
“She Walks! She Talks! She Even Flies! No, She Doesn’t,” by Mark Maxwell.
Moxy landed on a nineteen-inch pile of Important Papers and slid around for a while. (“I might have been seriously injured,” she said to her mother some days later.)
Then she followed Granny George into the kitchen.
chapter 45
In Which Moxy First Says the Words “Gold Spray Paint”
“Chicken noodle? Chicken and rice? Chicken and stars? Stars and stripes?” Granny George was getting out the saucepan.
“Do you know what would make me feel better?” said Moxy. “That can of gold spray paint.” She pointed to Granny’s crafts corner.
“For your cold?” said Granny George.
“For my new thank-you notes.”
Granny George looked confused.
“I need to spray-paint ‘Thank You’ on the front of each one.”
Granny George continued to look confused.
“Wait here,” said Moxy. She ran upstairs, her afghan trailing after.
chapter 46
In Which Pansy Wanders into the Kitchen and Asks Granny George Where Moxy Is
Pansy wandered into the kitchen.
“Where’s Moxy?” she said.
“Split-pea?” said Granny George.
“No, Moxy,” repeated Pansy.
“Here I am.” Moxy twirled into the kitchen, the afghan wrapped around her shoulders like a mink stole, and gave Granny George one of the thank-you notes from the box of thank-you notes her mother had given her.
“See what I mean?” said Moxy. “There’s this big gold ‘Thank You’ written on the front. Now look at the thank-you notes I’m making.” Moxy picked up one of the notes that had recently flown out of Ajax’s office and landed on the kitchen floor. “There’s no gold writing on these.”
chapter 47
In Which Moxy Says the Words “Gold Spray Paint” Again
“Which is why,” continued Moxy, “I need the gold spray paint. So I can spray-paint ‘Thank You’ on the front of each one. Otherwise they won’t look like the ones Mom bought for me.”
Pansy was confused, but Granny George understood. “Here’s the gold spray paint,” she said.
Pansy couldn’t hide her surprise. “But you’re not allowed.”
“Granny George just said I could.” Moxy smiled and began to shake the can.
Moxy loved the sound of the ball rattling inside. It felt like she was getting something done before she’d even started. She also loved the smell. But she wasn’t supposed to smell it. In fact, Pansy was right: Moxy wasn’t allowed to touch another can of spray paint until she was twenty-one.
chapter 48
5 Reasons Moxy Isn’t Allowed to Touch Another Can of Spray Paint Until She’s Twenty-one
Mark took this close-up picture of the list of reasons Moxy wasn’t allowed to touch another can of spray paint until she was twenty-one. This list has been sealed to the refrigerator door (with the aid of spilled grape juice and a magnet that says THE VOLVO DOCTOR MAKES HOUSE CALLS!) for just over a year now—ever since Moxy’s mother made Moxy write it.
Here is the picture Mark took of it.
chapter 49
In Which Moxy Keeps On Shaking the Can
But Moxy kept on shaking the can.
“Pansy,” she said, “I need eleven more copies of my new thank-you notes.”
Pansy disappeared into Ajax’s office. As she went in, another thank-you note flew out.
“Moxy’s going to use the gold spray paint,” Pansy announced to Mark and Sam.
Mark wrapped his camera back around his neck and rushed into the kitchen.
Pansy, however, was not in a terrific hurry to go back. Even though she had liked being a princess, which was the reason they had spray-painted her hair gold in the first place, she had not liked the haircut that followed it. It was too short, for one thing—one person had even thought she was a boy.
That was a long time ago, of course—back when Moxy was nine and hadn’t had much experience with spray paint.
chapter 50
3 Things Experience Has Taught Moxy About Gold Spray Paint
Now, Moxy knew a good deal more than the average ten-year-old about the uses and abuses of spray paint. Such as:
1. A little spray paint goes a long way.
2. Always put something you don’t care about behind the thing you are spray-painting in case the spray paint misses its target.
3. Don’t spray-paint your sister’s hair.
As she shook the can (she did love the sound of that ball), Moxy mulled over the second rule. It meant she would have to lean the thank-you notes against something that wouldn’t be ruined if she accidentally missed her target.
It occurred to her that the Christmas tree might be the perfect thing to lean the thank-you notes against while she spray-painted “Thank You” on the front of them. It was, after all, almost time to throw the tree out anyway. The tree was also almost dead. Plus it had gold ornaments on it, which meant that if a little gold spray paint accidentally hit the tree, it would hardly be noticed.
The plan had one small flaw: How would the thank-you notes stay on the tree while Moxy spray-painted them? She was wrestling with this problem when Granny George’s cell phone began to play “Rock Around the Clock.”
It was Uncle Jayne. His car was stuck in slush and other snow-related stuff and he would be there soon but not right away.
“He’s going to walk over,” Granny George told Moxy after she hung up.
But Moxy wasn’t listening.
chapter 51
In Which Moxy (Once Again) Saves the Day
“Thank goodness I’m me,” said Moxy. “Otherwise where would we be?”
“Pansy!” Moxy called.
There was no reply.
“Pansy
!” Moxy called again. Pansy always came when Moxy called—but not this time. This time she stayed in Ajax’s office.
“PANSY!” Moxy called for the third and final time. But Pansy didn’t appear.
chapter 52
In Which Moxy Is Forced to Stop What She’s Doing and Look for Pansy
If I were Pansy and I thought I was a turtle, where would I look for me? wondered Moxy.
Moxy looked everywhere she could think of for her sister—in both of the bathtubs and under all the beds. Finally, she tried Ajax’s office. There she found both of Pansy’s feet and what looked like part of her elbow under Ajax’s chair. The rest of Pansy was covered in thank-you notes—and the copier was still firing away.
Here is the photograph Mark took of Pansy’s feet. Note the untied shoes.
Both of Pansy Maxwell’s feet.
Moxy shouted to Sam to turn off the copier. “I think I have enough thank-you notes now,” she added.
chapter 53
In Which Pansy Starts to Sort of Cry
Moxy very politely invited Pansy into the living room. She also invited her to stand in front of the Christmas tree and hold the thank-you notes while Moxy spray-painted “Thank You” on them.
But Pansy started to sort of cry.
“I’m not allowed,” she sort of cried.
More than anyone, Sam understood why Pansy was sort of crying. He couldn’t imagine saying no to Moxy.
Which was why he said yes when Moxy turned to him and asked if he would hold the thank-you notes in front of the Christmas tree while she spray-painted “Thank You” on them.
Naturally, Sam didn’t want to leave the copier unattended. But since he couldn’t figure out how to turn it off, he decided it didn’t make much difference whether he stood in front of the copier that he couldn’t turn off or in front of the Christmas tree holding a thank-you note while Moxy shot gold spray paint at him.
So Sam followed Moxy into the living room.
chapter 54
The First Shot
Here’s a picture Mark took of Sam holding a thank-you note in front of the Christmas tree while Moxy continued to shake the gold spray paint. He called it “BEFORE.”
“BEFORE,” by Mark Maxwell.
Moxy closed her right eye. She took careful aim. She changed her mind. Maybe she was supposed to close her left eye and keep her right eye open. The eye doctor who had told her she didn’t need glasses had also told her that one eye was stronger than the other. But she couldn’t remember which was which. So she stood there closing one eye and then the other for so long that Sam thought he might faint, and Moxy started to get a headache.
Finally, she just sprayed away.
Here is the picture Mark took of Sam when Moxy was through spray-painting him.
“AFTER,” by Mark Maxwell.
It is obvious to even the casual viewer why Mark called this the “after” photograph. You don’t need glasses to see the big gold “T” on Sam’s new red Christmas shirt.
Granted, Sam was a little surprised to look down and see the big gold “T.” But, as Moxy pointed out, it did look like he had just gotten a letter for achievement in sports—kind of.
chapter 55
The Big “HANK YOU”
While Pansy and Sam were admiring Sam’s new shirt, Moxy was staring at the big “HANK YOU” she had just sprayed on the living room wall beside the Christmas tree. I can’t describe Moxy’s expression, but Mark took this picture of her so you can see for yourself:
Moxy Maxwell first sees the big “HANK YOU.”
And here is a picture Mark took of the big “HANK YOU” looking at Moxy.
The big “HANK YOU” looks at Moxy.
chapter 56
In Which Mrs. Maxwell Walks in the Door Carrying a Cute Little Pink Dress with Gobs of Glitter for Moxy to Wear to the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash Her Father Is Taking Her To
“I’m home,” called Mrs. Maxwell.
There was no answer.
“Uncle Jayne? Granny George?” she called.
Then she sniffed the air. “Is that spray paint I smell? Granny George, are you making more bracelets out of tuna fish cans?”
Granny George had just developed a new product: she took the top and bottom off tuna fish cans (even though sometimes they were still full of tuna and no one was in the mood for a tuna fish sandwich), spray-painted them gold, and turned them into big gold bracelets to sell at the annual Save the Ivory-billed Woodpecker Fund-raiser.
Mrs. Maxwell stayed in the hall stomping her boots. Granny George came out to greet her.
“He’s stuck in slush,” said Granny George.
“Uncle Jayne is stuck in slush?” asked Mrs. Maxwell.
“His car is stuck in slush. He went home to put the turkey in,” Granny George explained.
“He did the right thing,” said Mrs. Maxwell. She would never forget the turkey Aunt Margaret had made last Thanksgiving—it had been such an odd shade of gray.
chapter 57
In Which Mrs. Maxwell Asks What That Noise Is
“What’s that noise?” called Mrs. Maxwell.
There was a general silence.
Then Mark wandered into the hall with his camera, looking for a photo op. He knew something big was afoot.
chapter 58
The Case of the Flying Thank-you Notes
“What’s this?” said Mrs. Maxwell. She picked a blue thank-you note up off the floor. But her gloves were wet and it turned soggy right away. Another blue thank-you note flew by.
“Would someone please read that to me?” said Mrs. Maxwell pleasantly.
Granny George picked it up and passed it to Mark. Mark carefully placed his camera in Granny George’s hands and rapidly read the note out loud.
“Dear-Thank-you-for-It-is-very-and-it-will-come-in-handy-I’ll-use-it-for-various-things-like-and-In-case-you-want-to-thank-me-for-this-thank-you-note-please-wait-until-I-get-back-from-visiting-my-dad-in-Hollywood-I-will-be-there-for-six-and-a-half-days-Have-a-breathtaking-New-Year-Love-Moxy-Anne-Maxwell.”
chapter 59
In Which Mrs. Maxwell Calls Out (and Not for the First Time in Her Life), “Moxy Anne Maxwell!”
“Moxy Anne Maxwell!”
Moxy figured there was too much noise for her to hear her mother calling out her name, so she didn’t reply.
When Moxy didn’t reply, Mrs. Maxwell marched into the living room to find her. (Have you noticed how mothers always seem to march into rooms when you don’t answer right away?)
chapter 60
In Which We Linger with Mrs. Maxwell to Give Moxy a Chance to Think of an Explanation for This Mess
As soon as she saw the big “HANK YOU” spray-painted on her living room wall, Mrs. Maxwell collapsed onto the sofa and put her head between her knees and tried to breathe.
Here is the photograph Mark took of Mrs. Maxwell trying to breathe.
Mrs. Maxwell is somewhere in there with her head between her knees.
It was touch and go—Sam and Pansy thought she might faint. Mark was pretty sure she wouldn’t. Moxy didn’t have an opinion one way or the other.
That’s because she was busy rocking in the rocking chair—which was where she did some of her best thinking.
chapter 61
In Which We Take a Chapter Off to Give Moxy a Little More Time to Think of an Explanation for This Mess
chapter 62
In Which the Unasked Question—” How could things get worse?”—Is Answered
You may have been wondering how things could get worse.
Well, Ajax could walk in the front door.
chapter 63
In Which Ajax Walks in the Front Door
Ajax walked in the front door.
“What’s that noise?” he said to no one. Ajax often asked himself questions out loud. In this case, he already knew the answer: It was the sound of his new Christmas copier—the one nobody was supposed to touch.
Ajax didn’t stop t
o take off his snowy coat and boots. He didn’t look left or right. He walked right past the big “HANK YOU” sprayed in gold on the green wall—right past Mrs. Maxwell sitting in a heap with her head between her knees. He was following the flying blue thank-you notes.
chapter 64
Mrs. Maxwell Asks an Obvious Question
Mrs. Maxwell lifted her head from between her knees. “What on earth is going on here?” she said.
“I’m writing my thank-you notes,” Moxy explained patiently.
Mrs. Maxwell raised her head a bit higher and took a good look around. “On the living room wall?”
chapter 65
In Which the Copier Stops and Ajax Sits in His Broken La-Z-Boy
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