After he turned off his new Christmas copier, Ajax waded through 473 thank-you notes (Mark counted them later), accidentally stepping on a 21-inch pile of Important Papers as he went. Then he sighed, sank into his La-Z-Boy chair, and pulled the lever to bring the back up so he could take a better look around.
But the back didn’t come up. It stayed flat on its back.
Then Ajax said to the copier and to the broken chair and to us, the reading audience, “Grown men don’t cry,” and a pair of tears strolled down his left cheek.
He eased himself all the way back into his broken favorite chair and stared at the ceiling.
The ceiling could use a coat of paint, he thought.
chapter 66
In Which Ajax Takes the Temperature of His New Christmas Copier
Ajax spent several minutes trying to figure out how his office had turned into such an impressive mess in such a short time. He had only gone out to buy eggnog and the Paris Review, and yes, okay, on the way home he had stopped at the library to see if they had ordered his most recent book, and while he was there he had run into his best friend, Ted Bear, and it’s true, they’d gotten a cup of coffee—or two—and discussed the future of children’s literature.
But still and all, and all in all, he hadn’t been gone that long.
Ajax struggled out of the chair, crossed the room to his new Christmas copier, and took its temperature with his hand. (It was quite hot.) Then he wandered back into the living room.
chapter 67
In Which Ajax Uses His Powers of Observation
Right away Ajax noticed that there was something different about the living room. But what? He stood there thinking about it. Then his Powers of Observation kicked in.
“Why does that wall say ‘HANK YOU’?” he said.
“Well, it’s the funniest thing,” said Moxy.
But no one laughed, although Granny George looked hopeful, as if she were waiting to be told a good joke.
“You see, I had this brilliant idea,” Moxy began again.
She waited, but no one asked what her brilliant idea was.
“Does anyone want to know what my brilliant idea was?”
Granny George raised her hand.
Mark took this picture of her:
“Since you asked, I’ll tell you,” Moxy went on. “My brilliant idea was to save scads of time on my thank-you notes by writing ‘Dear’ and ‘Thank you for whatever’ and ‘Love, Moxy’ on one piece of paper and then making copies of it.”
“You know you’re not allowed to touch Ajax’s new copier. And,” added Mrs. Maxwell, “I know you know you’re not allowed to touch another can of spray paint until you’re twenty-one. It says so on the refrigerator.”
“But it was for the Greater Good, Mother.”
“Who is the Greater Good?” asked Pansy.
“It’s not a person,” said Moxy. But what exactly is it? Moxy asked herself. She couldn’t quite remember.
“The Greater Good means…it has something to do with the fact…and so, which is why…”
chapter 68
The Greater Good Explained
Moxy looked at Mark. Mark had taught her the phrase. He even knew what it meant. (Mark could have belonged to Mensa, which is a country club for geniuses, but he thought it was stupid.)
“Mark,” said Moxy, yawning, “would you please explain to everyone what ‘the Greater Good’ is? I’m feeling a bit tired.”
“It means you do something you know is wrong in order to achieve something that is more important than the wrong thing is wrong.”
“And so, as you can see and in conclusion, that is why I was forced to break a couple of rules.” Moxy glanced at the gold “T” on Sam’s shirt and the big “HANK YOU” on the green wall.
“What could be more important than obeying the Spray-Paint Rules?” said Mrs. Maxwell. Mrs. Maxwell was quite calm. But those of you who are familiar with Mrs. Maxwell from other stories know that when Mrs. Maxwell is quite calm, she is actually quite the opposite.
“Getting my thank-you notes done was more important—so I can go see Dad in Hollywood.” It was so obvious. Moxy didn’t understand why her mother had to ask.
chapter 69
In Which Moxy Maxwell Learns What the Phrase “Saved by the Bell” Means
“Saved by the bell” means your mother’s cell phone rings just as she is about to yell at you.
Mrs. Maxwell’s cell phone was playing the second round of “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” when she finally found it in the hall under her black winter coat in her caramel brown purse. It was wet, but she answered it anyway.
“Hello?” was all anyone heard her say before she drifted into Ajax’s study so she could have some privacy.
chapter 70
A One-way Phone Conversation
Mrs. Maxwell was so involved in her phone conversation, she hardly noticed the mess in Ajax’s office. Nor did she notice that Mark was in the office too. He was behind Ajax’s broken chair counting thank-you notes.
Because Mark could only hear his mother’s side of the conversation, we can only hear his mother’s side of the conversation.
The first thing Mrs. Maxwell said into her cell phone was “What did you say?”
This was followed by a 31-second pause—Mark timed it—while the other person talked.
Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “Do you know how long they’ve been looking forward to this?”
This was followed by a 134-second pause while the other person talked.
Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “No deal on earth is more important than seeing your children.”
This was followed by a 17-second pause.
Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “Mark and Moxy are the biggest deals of your life. And no, I don’t care if the entire Old Testament is never made into a miniseries.”
Then Mrs. Maxwell hung up.
Then Mrs. Maxwell stared at the ceiling.
That ceiling could use a coat of paint, she thought.
As soon as his mother left the room, Mark leaned his head against the right arm of Ajax’s broken La-Z-Boy chair and tried not to cry.
chapter 71
In Which Moxy Forgives Her Mother
“Mother, you’re looking pale. Why don’t you sit down?” said Moxy when her mother came back into the living room.
For the first time that day, Moxy and her mother agreed.
Mrs. Maxwell sat on the sofa.
“The gold spray paint on this wall”—Moxy gestured behind her—“and on Sam’s new red Christmas shirt is not entirely your fault.”
“I’m relieved to hear it,” said Mrs. Maxwell.
Moxy could tell that her mother wasn’t really listening.
“The thing is, if you hadn’t given me thank-you notes that said ‘Thank You’ on the front in big gold letters, I wouldn’t have been forced to spray-paint ‘Thank You’ on the notes I made with Ajax’s copier, and”—Moxy finished her little speech in a hurry—“and the wall wouldn’t say ‘HANK YOU.’”
“I see,” said Mrs. Maxwell.
“Oh, Mother, I knew you would!” Moxy was too tired to jump up and hug her mother. “And I promise, the very second Mark and I get back from Hollywood, Sam and Pansy will paint the living room wall.”
When her mother didn’t reply, Moxy added, “Not just that wall—all the walls. In fact, this whole place could use some fresh paint. I noticed Ajax’s ceiling was…”
Mrs. Maxwell couldn’t bring herself to look at Moxy.
“And,” added Moxy, “I promise I’ll finish all my thank-you notes while I’m in Hollywood. Dad will help me.”
Moxy could tell from her mother’s expression—she was sort of staring at the wall that didn’t say “HANK YOU” on it—that she still wasn’t paying attention.
“Guess what else I’ll do? I’ll make Dad buy stamps and we’ll actually mail every single thank-you note right from Hollywood.”
chapter 72
In Which Mrs. Maxwell Ruins Moxy’s Life
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“I’m so sorry,” said Mrs. Maxwell gently, “but you won’t be able to mail your thank-you notes from Hollywood. I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to go.”
“I am too,” said Moxy.
“No, you see—”
“I told you I was sorry!” interrupted Moxy. She thought for a moment. “Didn’t I?” She wasn’t sure. “Well, I am.” Now her throat was sore with backed-up tears. “I can’t disappoint Dad. I promised I would be his escort at the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” said Mrs. Maxwell. “You see, your dad…” Mrs. Maxwell stopped talking. She knew how much Moxy adored her father.
“My dad what?”
“Will probably miss you, but—”
“But what?”
“But there’s always next year.”
“This is so unfair—I haven’t seen him in almost three whole years! Plus Mark will be afraid to fly on a jumbo jet without me. Right, Mark?”
Quite unexpectedly, Mark said, “Yes.”
“See? It’s not fair to Mark either.” Moxy wiped some tears into her elbow. “I said I was sorry for everything. I’m even sorry I was born.”
Moxy ran into the hallway. She paused for a moment at the foot of the stairs, hoping her mother would change her mind.
But her mother stayed silent, and finally, Moxy started to sob.
Then she ran upstairs and collapsed on her bed.
chapter 73
In Which Moxy Realizes Her Life Is Over
Moxy’s life was over. It was as simple as that. Gone were the 17 starving children from all over the world. Gone was her chance to be a rich and famous but very nice movie star. Her private tour of Universal Studios—gone. The screen test her father was going to set up for her—not going to happen. Now she would never stand in Johnny Depp’s footprints at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre; never stand on the stage of the Hollywood Bowl and belt out “Tomorrow.” Tomorrow her father would not be waiting to pick her up at the airport in his powder blue convertible stretch limo. Moxy didn’t care if tomorrow never came.
chapter 74
In Which Moxy Doesn’t Stop Crying
Moxy fell asleep before she had a chance to stop crying.
When she woke, it was dark. But the lights that lit up the backyard were on, and she could see snow starting to fall. The smell of what must have been turkey soup was nestled in her room. It made her hungry.
The clock said it was 11:15 p.m., which meant she had been asleep for 6 hours and 10 minutes and her mother still hadn’t knocked on her door to say she had changed her mind about letting Moxy go to Hollywood.
Moxy hated, hated, hated her mother. She hated her more than she had ever hated her—not that she had really and truly ever hated her before.
chapter 75
In Which Mark Knocks on Moxy’s Door
Moxy heard a knock. She knew it was Mark by the muffled sound of it. Mark had always been a quiet knocker.
“Don’t come in,” said Moxy.
Mark came in and sat on the edge of Moxy’s other bed. He looked down at his feet. “What’s up?” he said.
“Except for the fact that my life is over?”
Moxy tried to cry again, but apparently she was out of tears.
“I hate Mom,” said Moxy.
Mark started looking through the viewfinder of his camera at the pictures he’d taken.
“It’s not her fault,” he muttered.
“I know. But you’d think she’d forgive me this one time so we could go to Hollywood. She knows how much this trip means to us.”
“Speak for yourself,” said Mark. He was looking at the picture he’d taken of Moxy modeling her long black evening gown for the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash.
Moxy went over and sat beside him.
“Black becomes me—don’t you agree?” said Moxy, looking at her glamorous self over Mark’s shoulder.
“I guess so.”
“You really don’t want to see Dad?”
Mark clicked to the picture he’d taken of Granny George’s legs.
“Dad doesn’t want to see me,” said Mark.
“Of course he does! He invited us both.”
“Well, now he’s uninvited us,” said Mark without looking up.
“But Dad wouldn’t do that. He promised that this year we could come for Christmas.”
“He promised we could come for Christmas last year too.”
“But last year a Very Big Deal came up at the last minute,” said Moxy.
Mark looked up. “And this year a Very Big Deal came up at the last minute too.”
“What?” Moxy was astonished. “This year a Very Big Deal came up? How do you know?”
“I heard Mom talking to Dad on her cell phone.”
chapter 76
A Marvelous Thing
Mark went to the window.
“But Mom would have told us if Dad was the one who canceled the trip. She always tells the truth,” said Moxy.
“I guess she didn’t want to hurt our feelings,” said Mark.
Moxy thought about it.
She couldn’t believe her mother would take the blame for the fact that they couldn’t go to Hollywood when it was really her dad’s fault.
Then Mark took this picture through Moxy’s bedroom window of the little white twinkling lights he and Ajax had wrapped around the trees and bushes on the first day of Christmas vacation.
The little white twinkling lights.
When he put his camera down, Mark’s eyes were sparkling with tears.
Moxy went over and stood at the window beside him. The snow was starting to get thick now. Together they watched as the snow began to blur the little white lights.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
Mark looked at Moxy.
“It’s no Big Deal,” he replied. Then he started to grin.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s no Big Deal,” repeated Mark, “but it would be to Dad.”
It took a second, and then Moxy started to laugh.
She wasn’t sure why she was laughing. When she thought about it, things couldn’t have been worse—except they didn’t feel that bad.
For one thing, even if her dad didn’t have time to take her to the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash this year, it didn’t mean she couldn’t keep the new pink gobs-of-glitter dress her mother had brought back from the mall—in fact, she could wear it to her Debut Piano Recital on April 23!
And another thing: There was the distinct possibility her mother would feel sorry enough for her to grant a thank-you-note extension till, say, Martin Luther King’s Birthday or even Groundhog Day.
And wasn’t her mother kind of marvelous for taking the blame for the fact that Moxy and Mark couldn’t go to Hollywood? “Marvelous” was a word Moxy had recently learned. But she’d been saving it to use until something really and truly marvelous came along.
“Good night,” said Mark.
“Good night back,” said Moxy, even though she wasn’t going to sleep.
Then Moxy crawled into bed and turned on her little red reading light and pulled her favorite comforter that smelled a little like Pine-Sol and a little like Chanel No. 5 over her head and began to write the first real thank-you note of her life.
Just before he closed the door, Mark took this picture of her:
Moxy starts to write the first real thank-you note of her life.
chapter 77
Mrs. Maxwell Has Christmas Again
When Mrs. Maxwell got up the next morning, she found this note under her door.
Here is what Moxy wrote:
Dear Mother,
Thank you for loving me so much.
Have a breath-taking New Year!
Love,
Moxy Anne Maxwell
(Your daughter) P.S. In case you want to thank me for this thank you note, I’ll be around all week.
And here is th
e picture Moxy made Mark take of it so she would have her own copy of what she called her “first literary masterpiece.”
About the Author
Peggy Gifford is the author of Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Stuart Little, which reviewers have lauded as “irresistibly authentic,” “wildly original,” and “unforgettable.” She holds an MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and has worked as an editor for the Feminist Press and as an acquisitions editor for SUNY Press. Peggy divides her time between New York City and South Carolina with her husband, Jack. You can visit Peggy and Moxy at www.peggygifford.com.
About the Illustrator
Valorie Fisher is the author and illustrator of several books, including When Ruby Tried to Grow Candy, How High Can a Dinosaur Count?, My Big Brother, and Ellsworth’s Extraordinary Electric Ears. Her photographs for Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Stuart Little have been called “fresh,” “spot-on,” “funny,” and “snort-inducing.” Valorie’s photographs can be seen in the collections of major museums around the world, including the Brooklyn Museum, London’s Victoria and Albert Museum, and the Bibliothèque Nationale in Paris. She lives in Cornwall, Connecticut, with her husband and their two children.
FOOTNOTES
1*Granny George’s legs are featured here wearing socks from the new Moxy Maxwell Socks and Scents collection.
Return to text.
Published in the United States by Schwartz & Wade Books, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
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