Waiting to Lose

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Waiting to Lose Page 11

by Dawn L. Chiletz


  She suddenly realized that he knew her better than she’d thought, and that maybe, just maybe, ignorance was bliss.

  AS HE ENDED his call with Dave, he could feel the rage boiling within him. He glanced over to Madi, who was patiently sitting on the couch, wrapped in his blanket, trying to process the events of the night. He took a deep breath and concerned himself with the strain in her face.

  He stepped toward her, and her eyes flicked to his as if he’d just pulled her out of some deep thought. “You okay?” he asked.

  She nodded her head sheepishly, and he was reminded of the girl he’d found curled into a ball on his bus.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He opened his arms to her and was pleased when she readily flew into them. He held her and rubbed her back as he had done months ago when Peter Markum had tried to rape her. “I will never let him that close to you again. I will kill him with my bare hands if he ever steps near you.”

  “I know,” Madi said, reassured. “I think now I owe you an apology.”

  “For what?” Jake pulled back briefly and squared her shoulders to face him. “What are you talking about?”

  “It seems I may not be as strong as I thought. Maybe you were right to keep this from me. Right now, I kinda wish I didn’t know.”

  Jake kissed her forehead and Madi climbed onto his lap. “I know this is really bad. I know you’re feeling scared again, but you were right. You are strong and you can handle this. If you would have known, Nate would have come with you, and you would have never come in contact with him.”

  “Maybe. Maybe we both had valid points.”

  Jake lightly nodded. She glanced up into his eyes before dropping her head to the floor once again. Jake lifted her chin with his fingers. “I’ve missed those big brown eyes of yours,” he said with a smile. “Please look at me so I can see you.”

  Madi grinned and batted her lashes at him, causing him to chuckle. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her eyelid. She inhaled deeply and turned her body to face him better.

  He peered down into her eyes and saw a small smile cross her lips. He immediately felt more at ease, knowing she was safe with him.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi,” he replied with a smirk.

  She glanced around the room. “Where’s Murphy?”

  “At my parents’ while I’m on tour.”

  She nodded. “I guess you don’t have to call me tonight.”

  He huffed through his grin. “No, I guess I don’t. I’ve never been happy to not have to call you before.”

  “You’re happy?” she asked.

  He smiled as he suddenly realized what he had in front of him. She was where he had wanted her to be for months. “You’re really here?” he asked.

  “I am. Do you need proof?”

  “I think I might.”

  She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “That’s a very nice cheek, Mr. Morgan. Did you feel that, or do I need to pinch you?”

  Jake leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to her cheek. He wasn’t able to pull away. His lips trailed her cheek, to her ear, then down to her neck, where he took a long, lingering breath. “You smell edible.”

  Madi moaned slightly as his lips trailed kisses along her collar. “Am I forgiven?” he asked.

  She puckered her lips and stared into his eyes, searching them. “I’ll forgive you on one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “Promise me that, from here on out, there will be no more surprises. No more protecting me without my knowing what you’re protecting me from. I love that you love me as much as you do, but I don’t ever want to doubt you again. Okay?”

  He nodded as he lifted a stray piece of her hair back into place. “How did I get so lucky?” he asked.

  She smiled. “You are lucky!”

  He laughed before pulling back slightly and staring at her. “What is this you’re wearing?”

  Madi bit her lip as Jake lightly pushed her off his lap and took her hand in his, raising her off the couch. He jostled the blanket from her shoulders and took a step back to admire her, pleased.

  She placed her hands on her hips. “You act like you didn’t see it before.”

  “Oh, I saw it. There were just way too many other people around for me to appreciate it fully.” His eyes trailed down her legs and widened as they reached the garters.

  “Recognize something?” she asked.

  “Are those…?” His finger pointed to them before he pressed it inquisitively to his lips.

  “Yes, they are. Except tonight, I’m not drunk and you have no excuse.” She slowly began unbuttoning her flame blouse, and Jake took a step back to get a better view. The back of his leg ran into the chair, and he fell backwards into it, never losing eye contact with Madi.

  As she lifted the material that was tucked into her shorts, Jake noticed the way the shorts clung to her thighs. He felt a twitch in his pants as other parts of him reacted to the view.

  “So, I thought I might try this again,” she said as she unfastened the last button of her blouse and slipped the material off her shoulders, revealing a red lace bra. Jake suddenly remembered just how much he loved red.

  “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asked as his eyes bore into hers. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me right now?” Jake smiled as he sat back further into the chair, rubbing his needy palms on his fireman costume. He hadn’t even realized he was still wearing it. He reached up and snapped the red suspenders onto his chest, causing Madi to stop and bite her lip.

  He slowly removed the jacket from his chest. He was fairly certain Madi clenched her thighs together. He was staring at her shorts as she began unbuttoning them.

  “You make a very handsome fireman.”

  “You make a very hot fire.”

  Madi pulled off her heels before sliding her shorts down her legs and tossing them at Jake. Jake took in the sight of her, and the memory of her twenty-first birthday played through his mind. He remembered how badly he’d wanted her the last time she’d worn the same outfit, but how he couldn’t have her. His licked his lips as Madi turned around, giving him a full view of her ass, barely covered by a lace thong.

  “Dear God, woman. Do you know the power you have over me?”

  Madi giggled as she strutted over to him and fell onto his lap once more. She jumped slightly when the hardness of his erection pushed into her thigh. “Oh my,” she said as she bit her lip.

  Jake raised his hips and pressed himself into her. “Did you want the steak tonight?”

  “I always want the steak around you. I haven’t had steak in forever.”

  Jake traced the contours of her bra with his fingers as Madi brought her fingers to his lips. He gently kissed them before sucking on her fingertip.

  Madi lowered her head and he licked his lips. They stared into each other’s eyes and they waited to see who would make the first move.

  “Do you want me to kiss you, Madi?”

  “I’m thinking…”

  “You’re not sure?” he asked playfully. She smiled and he caved, crashing his lips against hers.

  She wrapped her hands around his face, pulling him closer as she shifted her body to straddle his waist, knees bent. She lowered herself on top of him as he sucked on her tongue, then bit her lip tenderly.

  He groaned into her mouth as his hand gripped her from behind, sliding his finger into the small amount of material in between her cheeks.

  “Are we a little anxious?” she asked.

  “I’ve thought about you in this outfit since I saw you in it. Especially when I saw you with your ass in the air on your bed.”

  “What?” Madi pulled back in shock.

  “Kendra didn’t tell you?”

  “No! I’m afraid to hear. Oh God, what did I do?”

  Jake laughed. “Kendra pulled you back into your room after you attempted to seduce me, and you fell face first onto the bed with your ass in the air. I walked by and froze
. I couldn’t stop staring. Kendra had to shut the door to make me look away. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom that night.”

  Madi covered her eyes in horror, then glanced up with surprise. “You touched yourself as you thought of me?” she asked.

  “Wasn’t the first time.”

  Madi’s mouth gaped open. “Are you serious?”

  “Does it shock you? I was living with a girl who pranced around in barely-there shorts, see-through sleep shirts, and red thongs. I am a man.”

  Madi giggled and bit her lip. “Yes, you most definitely are. I might like to see that.”

  Jake smiled. “I’d be happy to touch myself in front of you, but tonight, it is going to be impossible for me to keep my hands off of you.”

  Madi pushed off his chest and stood in front of him. He stared lovingly into her eyes as he watched her.

  “Take me, Jake Morgan. No need for condoms tonight.”

  Jake laughed as he rubbed the stubble on his chin. “You don’t have to ask me twice.” Jake stood and pulled her into him for a deep kiss before lifting her slightly and walking her to the bedroom with her feet on his, both of them smiling. Both of them caving.

  ***

  MADI FELT RELAXED and satiated for the first time in months. She watched as a naked Jake lit a fire in his fireplace. She pulled her eyes away briefly as she glanced around the room—his bedroom. Then she saw the piano in the corner.

  “Did I ever tell you about my dream about you?” she asked as she raised herself up on her elbows.

  “Nope. But if it was about me then I want to hear.”

  Jake stood as the fire blazed behind him. Madi took in the sight of him and his impressive length. Even when he wasn’t aroused, he was a sight to be held.

  “My eyes are up here, babe,” he said playfully as Madi lifted her eyes to his, slightly embarrassed she’d been caught ogling him.

  “I can’t help myself,” she said as she pointed at him. “I can’t believe that fits inside of me.”

  Jake tossed his head back as he laughed. “Do you need more proof?”

  “I suppose I do.”

  Jake sauntered over to her and pulled the covers away from her naked body, surveying her. “Turn over,” he said.

  Madi listened and immediately felt his hands knead into the flesh on her ass. He positioned himself on top of her as he began kissing her shoulders. Madi could feel him flicking in appreciation against her thigh. “Ready so soon?” she asked.

  “I haven’t had you in months. Yes, I’m ready. You were staring at me. You think that doesn’t turn me on?”

  Madi giggled as his tongue danced in between her shoulder blades.

  Jake kissed his way down her back and stopped at the place where her lower back curved to her behind. His fingers teased her skin, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Madi tensed, knowing he was staring at her.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked shyly.

  “I’m thinking about this beautiful ass raised in the air.”

  Madi took a deep breath, attempting to find some hidden courage. The room was fairly dark, except for the light coming from the fire. She obliged his desire and lifted herself off the bed, giving him a full view of her from behind.

  Jake moaned in appreciation as his mouth began to nibble at her. Madi gasped. “Jake, we just had sex. Unless you want to taste yourself, I’d be careful.”

  “I don’t care.” He slowly eased a finger into her from behind, and Madi groaned, pushing into him. “I want you. Like this. Is that okay?”

  Madi turned her head toward him and smiled.

  Jake positioned himself behind her and eased into her. It was deeper like this, and Madi instantly remembered just how big he really was. “Oh God,” she called out.

  “Too much?” Jake stopped and held himself in place.

  Madi pushed herself onto him and moaned. Jake let out a deep breath as Madi took control. She pushed slowly at first, then more quickly, until Jake took over once again. He lasted longer this time, and Madi was able to really feel every inch of him as he made love to her. As he pushed more deeply into her, he reached his hand around her and gently began massaging her weak spot.

  His touch sent her head spinning, and she rose off the bed so that her back was to his chest. One hand pulled her nipple as the other continued its pursuit of her orgasm. Jake kissed her neck as she wrapped her hand around his head and placed it on the back of his neck, holding on for life. Jake continued to touch her in all the right places as she found herself building and spreading her legs for his hand. He moaned as he sucked her neck and played her like a concert pianist, knowing all the melodies and combinations of notes that would give her the most pleasure. As she found herself building, he bit her earlobe.

  “I love you, Madi.”

  His words, his mouth, his hands… She trembled under his touch and fell apart around them. When her body shuddered for the final time, she leaned forward and pushed back into him, causing him to groan.

  He repositioned himself and slowly pushed back into her. It didn’t take long before he was the one shuddering over her. They fell down onto the bed, with Jake still on top of her. He pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck once again.

  “I guess I don’t have to fantasize anymore about that one.”

  Madi laughed as she sighed in exhaustion. “I hope the reality was better.”

  “My reality with you is always better. I seem to underestimate you in my fantasies as well.”

  Madi smiled as she felt herself drifting off to sleep. She’d never felt so at peace. Being with Jake was like breathing; he was her air.

  HE WATCHED HER chest rise and fall with each breath she took. He couldn’t look away from her. He pushed a loose strand of hair away from her face and studied her as her eyes danced under their lids. She must have been dreaming. Jake smiled as he wondered what she dreamt about. When she said his name, his heart leapt, and he was reminded of just how much she meant to him. He eased himself away from her, careful not to wake her, and pulled on a pair of jeans.

  He treaded into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before searching for his phone. Two voicemails. One was from Ang, wanting to make sure they were okay, and the other was from Rob, reassuring him that he had everything under control. Jake heard a buzzing coming from Madi’s purse and realized she didn’t have an overnight bag with her. He texted Ang and she replied immediately.

  Ang: Want me to bring it over now?

  Jake: She doesn’t need her clothes right now.

  Ang: Oh, Jake! Is it TMI you kids always say?

  Jake: Just thought you’d want to know she’s sleeping peacefully. Tomorrow morning would be great. Thanks, Ang. G’night.

  Jake took a sip of his water and flipped through the emails on his phone.

  Suddenly, Madi let out a blood-curdling scream. Jake dropped his phone and ran to his room, bursting through the door, ready to attack. Madi was tossing and turning in her sleep. Jake climbed next to her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

  Madi struggled in his arms before her eyes flicked open and desperately searched the room. When she found his face, her breathing slowed and she clung to him in desperation.

  “Are you okay? You were dreaming.”

  “Just a dream,” she said, as if she were trying to convince herself. She grasped his face in her hands. “I love you. You know that, right?”

  “I do. Of course I do. Want to talk about it?” he asked as he ran his fingers soothingly through her long brown hair.

  She sat up and rubbed her eyes, surveying the room as if she were trying to remember where she was. “I’m in your bed,” she said with a small smile.

  “Um hmm,” he replied as he sat up next to her.

  She glanced down at herself and then at him. “You’re dressed.”

  “Just jeans. I went to get a bottle of water. Want one?”

  Madi nodded her head. Within a minute, he was opening the cap and handing it
over to her, watching her curiously.

  She took a slow sip and glanced up at his expectant eyes. “What?”

  “Are you going to tell me why you screamed in your sleep? You scared the shit out of me.”

  “I screamed?”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Hmmm…” Madi took another long drink before handing the bottle to Jake. He took a drink as well.

  “I have to pee,” she said.

  Jake shook his head and pointed to the bathroom. “You know where it is.”

  “I’m naked,” she replied as she pulled the covers up around her.

  Jake laughed. “So? You can’t tell me you’re suddenly shy around me.”

  “I am. I’m not you. I don’t have confidence oozing from my pores.”

  Jake pointed toward the door. “You undressed in my family room and I’ve seen everything, babe. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

  Madi sighed and gave him that look. Jake shook his head and climbed out of bed, retrieving a t-shirt for her, which she quickly pulled on.

  “Thank you!” she said as she darted for the bathroom.

  Jake lay back and placed his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. The toilet flushed, and a few seconds later, Madi jumped on top of him.

  He moaned as he pulled her underneath him.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Better?” he asked

  “Much.”

  “So tell me.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she replied in a huff.

  “Why?” he asked as his brows furrowed.

  “That’s why,” she said as she pointed to his face. “You worry. Even about my dreams.”

  Jake pushed his hand through his hair and Madi pulled it down. “I like your hair, remember, baldy?”

  Jake smirked and stared into her eyes with a pained expression.

 

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