Waiting to Lose

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Waiting to Lose Page 12

by Dawn L. Chiletz


  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she asked.

  “No. Can’t. Won’t. I need to know what frightens you so much that it makes you scream in your sleep.”

  Madi sat up and pawed at her hair. “I had a bad dream.”

  Jake sighed. “I knew that part.”

  Madi sighed. She glanced up at him and he was waiting expectantly. “You really won’t let this go?”

  He shook his head in frustration. “Just tell me.”

  Madi took a deep breath. “I had a dream that the guard broke in here and shot you. Okay? Are you satisfied?”

  Madi leapt from the bed and situated herself in front of the fire, hugging her knees to her chest.

  Jake cleared his throat as he made his way to her, sitting behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

  “Thank you for telling me.”

  “That’s it?” she said, turning toward him. “That’s all you’re going to say?”

  Jake leaned back and rested on his hands behind him. “What do you want me to say?”

  “Maybe, ‘Don’t worry, Madi; that will never happen’?”

  “Don’t worry, Madi; that will never happen,” he assured.

  Madi blew her bangs out of her eyes as she pushed on his bare chest. “How can you be so matter-of-fact about it? I’m scared for you, Jake.”

  “There’s no need for you to worry about me. I’m fine.”

  Madi turned around and rested on her heels. “How do you know he won’t come after you?”

  “I don’t.”

  “Jake!”

  Jake took a deep breath and tilted his head to the side as he considered whether or not he should tell her. The concern on her face made it clear. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I have a gun?”

  “You do?” Madi asked as her body stiffened.

  “I do. I got it after you were attacked. I wanted to be able to protect you. I wanted you to feel safe.”

  “I do feel safe. You make me feel safe. Guns scare me.”

  “They shouldn’t. As long as you know how to use them, it’s fine. People who don’t respect them are the ones you need to worry about.”

  “Do you know how to use it?” she asked.

  “Of course. I’ve been to several ranges. Mostly before I’d come into work.”

  “Where is it?” she asked.

  “Did you notice the new shelf in the family room?”

  Madi squinted as she thought. “There are two. On either side of the TV.”

  Jake nodded in appreciation of her observation. “The shelf on the right has a button. There’s a key that looks like a magnet next to the TV. If you press it to the shelf, it opens. The gun’s in there.”

  Madi nodded as she seemed to follow the directions in her mind.

  Jake smiled. “Guess you don’t know everything about me.”

  Madi huffed. “I know the important stuff.”

  “Yes, you do,” he said with a smirk.

  Madi turned back to the fire and Jake placed his arms around her once more.

  “Nothing’s going to happen to me—or to you, for that matter,” he said reassuringly.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do. I won’t let anything happen to you, ever.”

  Madi shuddered and Jake ran his hands over her bare arms. “Are you cold?”

  “No. Just got a chill.”

  “Well, I’d offer you some clothing, but it seems you didn’t bring any.”

  Madi turned and gasped as she placed her hand over her mouth. “Shit! Ang has my clothes.”

  Jake laughed. “She coming by tomorrow. I told her you didn’t need them tonight.”

  “You didn’t!”

  “I did.”

  “When did you talk to her?”

  “While you were sleeping. By the way, your phone buzzed a few times while I was in the other room.”

  “Kendra!” Madi jumped up and ran toward her phone.

  Jake waited and heard her shrill. “I can’t believe you left my room before… Nate called him. Yes, he saw you. He thought it was me. Yes, I was mad. No, he’s not. Yes… Yes…” Then a giggle. “Twice so far.”

  Jake smiled. She was talking about him.

  “Stop it! No, I’m not going to tell you! No… Yes… Yes, of course. He’s Jake, of course I did.” Then another small laugh.

  He smirked.

  “I’m over it, but you almost caused a fight. I forgive you. K. Love you, too. Yes, later… Bye.”

  Jake could hear her footsteps approaching. He leaned back on his hands, leaving his abs on full display.

  Madi shuffled into the room and stopped, staring at him by the fire.

  “Twice so far, huh? I like the ‘so far’ part.”

  Madi blushed as she sauntered over to him and straddled his waist.

  “You were listening?”

  “You were loud.”

  “I’ll try to be quiet next time.”

  “Don’t be quiet. I like to hear you. I especially like to hear you when you come.”

  “I don’t make noises when I come!”

  “Yes, you do,” he said with a laugh.

  “Prove it?”

  “Are you asking me to make you come again?”

  “Are you too tired?” she asked as she pouted her lips in a mocking manner. “I know you’re an old man.”

  Jake grabbed her by the arms and flipped her over so that he was on top. “I’m not an old man. I just don’t want you to be sore. You know, because I’m so big and all.”

  Madi rolled her eyes as she attempted to contain her laughter. “Oh God, I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

  “You think I’m huge.”

  “You’re not THAT big. I was just stroking your ego.”

  “Oh, really? I’m big enough to make you moan.”

  “That was a pity moan. I didn’t want you to get self-conscious.”

  Jake rolled his head back before glaring at her and licking his lips. “Another contest?” He pressed himself into her and she tried to act unaffected. He rocked his hips against her as he lifted her shirt. She yawned. He grinned as he rubbed his jeans up against her bare skin.

  She smiled and bit her lip. “Don’t think of it as a contest. It’s more like a test.”

  “A test, huh? You’re testing me?” He smiled as she grabbed him from behind.

  “Don’t worry,” she said as he pushed into her. “You always pass.”

  ***

  THE DAY AND night passed by too quickly. Madi found herself in a familiar position behind the curtain at his concert in L.A. The last time she’d been there had been a totally different experience. This time, she was able to watch him from backstage, knowing he was hers. Rob stood a fair distance away from her, but she knew he was watching her every move and the move of everyone around her. She didn’t mind. If Jake trusted him, then so did she. She was glad he was there. Especially after her nightmare.

  Madi felt an arm slide under hers as Ang came to stand along side of her.

  “I think he’s better when you’re here,” she said.

  “You think?” Madi asked as a smile lit up her face.

  “There’s something about the way he sings when you’re with him. It’s like every song has more meaning. I think you may be his muse.”

  Madi laughed. “It’s good to be here again. I forgot how much I love this place.”

  “We love having you, dear,” Ang said with a smile and a side hug.

  “How have you been, Ang?”

  “Oh, I’m good. Tour is getting a little old for me. I’m tired and I miss my assistant. It’s nice having another girl to talk to.”

  “I miss you, too. Australia tomorrow?”

  “Yes. I’ve never been. Should be nice. As long as I don’t see any spiders or bugs, I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself.”

  Madi laughed at the concerned expression on Ang’s face. Her smile turned downward as she remembered she and Jake would soon be on o
pposite sides of the planet.

  “You’ll take care of him, right?”

  Ang turned and smiled. “I always do. No need for you to ever worry. And this thing, with this Allison girl? All smoke she’s blowing out her rear. No truth to it at all. I’m practically with Jake every second of the day. If he’s not talking about you, he’s singing. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.”

  Madi smiled as a calm overtook her. “You know I love you, Ang.”

  Ang patted her hand. “I know you do, dear. I’m just that kind of gal.”

  Madi smiled as she heard Jake begin to speak.

  “There’s this new song I’ve been working on, and I’d like to run it by you tonight. See how you like it? What do you think?”

  The crowd cheered and Madi had to focus to hear him. A new song? He hadn’t said a word…

  Jake spoke again, and Madi strained to hear him over the crowd. “This is ‘Saving Grace.’”

  Ang smiled at her. “It’s a special night for him. I’m pretty sure this one’s for you.”

  The music began to play, and Madi felt her insides turn to mush. He glanced behind him in her direction and winked. Madi had to steady herself. How could he possibly want her? This had to be a dream.

  There are moments in your life

  When the darkness seems to linger

  Right in front of you

  And you can’t get through

  There are times when you think

  That the pain is all that’s living

  Deep inside of you

  It becomes your truth

  I was living in the past,

  Letting memories and mistakes

  Make me keep on looking back.

  Never really opening up

  Never really letting in

  Never really knowing

  Where I should begin

  Then love opened up a door

  Love filled an empty space

  Love happened when an angel walked into my life

  And the pieces fell in place

  Love was worth waiting for

  Love took the dark away

  And there’s one thing that I know for sure

  She’s become my saving grace

  Madi tried to breathe. He wrote a song… for her? Her heart was so full of love for him, she thought she might explode. Ang turned and handed her a tissue. She glanced down at it and realized tears were streaming down her face. Only Jake could make her so happy she cried.

  She watched the rest of the concert in awe. He came backstage once during intermission and winked at her. She knew she couldn’t pounce on him in case the press was watching, but she wanted to tell him just how much he meant to her.

  She glanced at her phone at the final encore and mentally counted the hours of the night she had left with him. Tomorrow, his flight left at one. Hers left at three. She had mere hours to be with him.

  As the concert came to a close, Rob ushered her to a waiting limo. He stood outside the door. Felix turned around from the driver’s seat and said hello. Madi smiled at him and leaned forward on the seat in front her to ask him how he had been.

  Thirty minutes later, Jake left the building, once again signing autographs as he approached the car. Madi heard the muffled voices shooting questions at him left and right. Madi swore she heard Allison’s name and she briefly cringed. She remembered what Ang had told her and the way Jake stared at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. He loved her and she knew it.

  Madi moved to the opposite side as Rob opened the door and Jake scooted inside. As soon as the door closed, she launched herself across the seat, into his waiting arms, and kissed him without warning.

  She must have surprised him when her lips crashed into his teeth and he laughed into her mouth.

  “Miss me?”

  Madi didn’t respond. She simply kissed his cheeks and every inch of his face. She heard a buzzing noise as Jake raised the privacy screen in the limo.

  “Can I assume you liked my new song?”

  Madi stopped kissing him and held his face firmly in her hands, playing her fingers along his stubble. “It was amazing. I loved it. I loved it almost as much as I love you. Ang said I’m your muse.”

  Jake laughed. “I never really thought about it, but yeah, you kinda are. I wonder what I’d be able to write if you were sitting on my piano while I worked?”

  “It would probably be songs about oral sex and fornication. It would ruin your image.”

  “Do you think that’s all I think about when you’re around? I’m actually hurt by that.”

  “Oh, stop. I know you love me.”

  “That I do,” he said with a grin.

  Jake reached into his back pocket and produced a flash drive. The song is on here. For your ears only.”

  Madi lit up with excitement as she greedily grabbed it from his hands. “Can Kendra hear it? Please?”

  Jake stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I suppose, but only because I owe her.”

  Madi giggled and quickly kissed his mouth before placing the flash drive in her cleavage.

  “I’m suddenly very jealous of my flash drive.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” Madi said with a roll of her eyes. “You’ll definitely be there later.”

  Jake grinned as a thoughtful look inched across his face. “That song was about you, in case there’s any question in your mind. I want you to listen to it whenever you miss me or whenever you start worrying about how I feel. Okay?”

  Madi’s chin began to tremble and she could feel the tears prick her eyes. “I will.”

  Jake seemed to know what she was thinking. He lifted his hand to her face and raised her chin so that her tear-laden eyes were forced to look into his.

  “Please don’t think about it. We have tonight, and I don’t want to waste a single moment of it thinking about tomorrow.”

  Madi sniffed. “Okay, Bob Seger.”

  Jake huffed a laugh and Madi couldn’t help but smile. They did have tonight, and she wanted to make memories to last a lifetime, because somewhere deep inside, a voice told her she needed to remember everything. For when he leaves you.

  IT WAS LATE, so Madi rested her head on Jake’s shoulder until she drifted to sleep. He was glad she didn’t notice that the drive was longer than usual, since they weren’t going home. The screech of the tires coming to a stop woke Madi from her slumber. She glanced out the window before turning to Jake with surprise.

  “Where are we?” she asked.

  “I hope you’re not too tired.”

  “What’s going on?”

  Rob opened the door. Madi hadn’t even realized he was sitting in the front seat next to Felix. He nodded as Jake stepped out and held his hand out to Madi. Madi’s boots clunked against the car frame as she attempted to get her balance.

  “Jake?” she asked, waiting for an explanation.

  He smiled as Rob knocked on a door. They were in a deserted back alley.

  “Trust me?” he asked.

  “Always,” she responded with a smirk. “Another surprise?”

  As much as he knew she loved surprises, he could tell she was skeptical.

  The door opened as a Chinese man smiled and motioned for them to come in.

  Jake led Madi through the kitchen of a restaurant. They turned corners around prep tables and stoves until they walked through a set of doors. He allowed her to go first, then stepped to the side to see her expression when she realized where they were.

  Madi gasped and turned to him. “I know this place! The dragon on the ceiling. The smell. Jake? Is this the restaurant we ate at on our date?”

  Jake grinned. “That was not a date. This is a date.”

  “Where is everyone? Why is the place empty?”

  “It’s reserved for a private party. Mr. Chin was nice enough to close it down for me for the night. I wanted a little privacy.”

  Madi beamed with excitement. “A real date?”

  “A real first date.”

  “
Well, if this is a real first date, then I guess you won’t be getting lucky. I’m not that kinda girl.”

  Jake laughed as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm… I didn’t consider that. How many dates will it take? You know, for you to put out?”

  “I’m guessing at least three. Assuming I like you and all.”

  “Three, huh? I guess I need to take you to a movie after this, and then maybe to a club for dancing.”

  “I might be okay with a movie at your place and a quick twirl around the room.”

  “Done.”

  Jake led her to a table on the floor lit by candles. Madi’s responding smile made him note to do more for her, more often.

  “Do you like it?”

  She smiled in appreciation. “It’s perfect!”

  Madi knelt on the floor and Jake sat next to her.

  “There were so many things I wanted to say to you that night that I should have.”

  The waiter approached and poured water into their glasses. Madi stared at Jake expectantly as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. Jake watched her intently, noticing every move she made and memorizing her. As soon as the waiter walked away, Jake continued. “I wanted to tell you I thought you were beautiful. I wanted to tell you that I felt a pull to you as soon as I saw you. That when you shook my hand, I felt a surge of electricity shoot through me.”

  “I felt it, too. I still do.”

  He reached out and took her hand in his. “There it is. Each and every time.”

  Madi smiled and he felt whole.

  “I love knowing you’re backstage when I’m singing. I love knowing you’re watching me. It thrills me. You inspire me.”

  “I do?” she asked. “I love watching you sing. I see the way people look at you, and when I hear them shout your name, I feel like I could burst. I’m so proud of you and everything you are.”

  Jake lifted her hand to his lips as their food arrived at the table. “I pre-ordered. Same food as the last time.”

  “But no Ang.”

  Jake huffed. “Yeah, no babysitter. The next day she questioned me relentlessly about what I thought about you.”

  “She did? Maybe it’s because she saw the way I looked at you.”

 

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