Arranged by the Stars

by Kamy Chetty

  *****

  Living in London was different from being here in Goa. The city living was fast paced and serious, there was never time to stop, or think. Each morning he woke wondering if he was going to find his way home again. Here it was something else and he was still unsure if it was Goa or Ash that made the difference.

  Kieran looked out at the long stretch of beach and found what was fast becoming his compass at the far end doing some comical pose. Mimicking some new age hippies scattered on the creaminess of the crusty distance, he couldn’t help but catch his breath at the beauty of it.

  His visit to his parents ate more of his soul than he’d realised, but watching Ash do Yoga poses pulled something deep from within and he felt restored. Restored enough for the flow of warm energy to sizzle along his veins. The effect was the same whenever she was around, and he was finding it hard to deny that it was so easy with Ash. So easy because he knew there was no danger of it being real. No danger of it turning into something he couldn’t handle. Like marriage and forever.

  His steps grew heavier as the distance between him and the fallen beauty became shorter. As if she sensed him, she turned and smiled. A benign smile that years ago he would have fallen in love with. With one last stretch she finished and bowed down to her instructor.

  “You do Yoga?” he asked as she joined him.

  She laughed and widened her gaze.

  Was it possible for a laugh to sound like ice falling into a crystal glass? Because right now, that’s all he could think of. When he heard her, the sound sent rivulets of pleasure down sensitive spots in his body and he had to shudder.

  “You should try it sometime. It will do you a world of good and you might even stop wearing those stupid ties.” She picked up her towel and walked towards him.

  He pretended to be deeply wounded. “I love my ties.” His brain searched for every article he’d read on spontaneous combustion. Was it possible to burst into flames by pure desire?

  “I think that’s the saddest thing I’ve heard in a long time,” she tugged at his tie and he watched her walk away.

  She probably grew up walking around with books on her head, hence the perfect runway walk. The walk of princesses and queens. He wondered if he put a pea under her mattress, would she feel it?

  She swung around and her gaze caught him unawares. “Kieran?” Her arms lifted in confusion, and her perfectly defined brows rose playfully. He supposed there was some point to it. It did make her eyes look fascinating but he always thought that. Why green? Not many Indian girls had green eyes. Stunning green eyes.

  “Are you okay Kieran? Have you been out in the sun too much?” she came closer and put the back of her forearm to his head. “You don’t seem hot.”

  “I’m okay.” Except that she didn’t think he was hot. She never did let on what she thought of him.

  “Are you sure?” Her hand went from his head to the side of his neck as she looked for further signs of a fever.

  His ears heated as blood pounded through his body. Every nerve in his body was wired to his head and the spot she’d touched. His brain sent an error message to his heart, telling it his chest was a trampoline and the summersaults were about to kill him.

  His groin didn’t only tighten, but he hardened like a teenager with his first wet dream. “Ash, please don’t do that. I said I was okay.” He pulled away and started walking like the alarm for a Tsunami warning had been sounded.

  “You’re acting weird,” she followed him and told him about her Yoga instructor who had offered her a week of free lessons.

  His gaze went back to the beach and the twenty-something beach bum whose intentions were clear. “If you like Yoga, maybe we can look for something closer to work. I might even join you, if you want.”

  He was surprised she’d think he’d actually be interested. Even more surprised when her smile brightened and reached her eyes. “Really Kieran, you’ll do that? For me?”

  This wasn’t part of the deal. In fact it was treading on dangerous waters, but the thought of Ash falling prey to some Yoga instructor who took advantage of innocent women made him so mad. He hadn’t even realised he was holding his breath until he had to release it. Once done, he gave her a silent nod. Yoga couldn’t be that bad and she will probably forget about it in a day.

  She dropped her bag on the beach and then pulled off her flimsy loose top. Dressed in a one piece bathing suite she did another stretch. Her body was curved in exactly the right places. He slipped his hands into his pockets. What the hell was he doing? If she turned around right now, what would she think about his growing bulge?

  When she lifted her arms over her head and then bent down to touch her toes, he groaned. Then she stood and swung her arms up, before walking towards the sea. He was a dead man.

  “Ash, what are you doing?”

  “It’s my afternoon off. I am going for a swim,” her hands were stretched in front of her. Her gaze was full of innocence.

  “That’s the sea. It’s dangerous. The hotel has a pool.” Was she mad?

  He showed his ignorance for the real world and nature. She gave him this look and he could hear the posh sound of his voice. He was a snob. He was his mother’s son and for a moment he was seeing her through Julie’s eyes and he could see it in her eyes. That look of utter disappointment. But he had a point.

  She cocked her head and placed her hands on her hips. “Look around you. People are swimming in the water. Unless they can’t swim, I am pretty sure the water here is safe. We all can’t be as rich as you and afford swimming pools.” This time when he watched her walk away from him, there was something else that held his gaze. She straightened her shoulders and swayed those hips with more fire than he’d ever noticed in those emerald eyes.

  “Ash, at least watch where you’re walking.” she didn’t have to act stupid to prove her point.

  “Why don’t you go back to the office Dr Kannaa…ouch―” She fell to the ground.

  Kieran rushed forward and was at her side in seconds. Her foot had red welts along the side and she was squirming and wriggling like red ants were crawling along her body.

  “Can you keep still so I can see what’s the problem? I don’t think there are snakes on the beach, but it looks like a sting.” he tried to touch her foot which she kept out of his reach.

  She pushed at him and pointed to the ground. “You idiot. I was stung by that. It’s a jellyfish.”

  “Now we’ve established what stung you, could you stop moving so I can examine your foot?” She was writhing on the ground and keeping her foot away from him.

  Her oohs and aahs, were drawing more than a few smirks and smiles from the people walking by. He tried to get her to focus but she was flailing. “The quicker I diagnose―”

  She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. “I don’t need your posh explanations or words. The pain is hell and I am dying.” The beads of sweat on her heated forehead, was a dead giveaway she didn’t have long before she would pass out from pain or shock.

  Kieran sat on his haunches and pulled her across his lap. He threaded his fingers into her hair and pulled all the loose strands behind her ears so she could see his eyes and focus. “Ash, listen to me. Just listen to the sound of my voice and nothing else. It’s going to be okay.”

  He lowered his head. Her eyes widened and he watched her pupils dilate. He had to wonder if it was fear or excitement which brought on this effect. At this point it could have been both, but he really wanted it to be excitement and he didn’t ask himself why. All he knew was he wanted to taste her lips. Until that moment he hadn’t realised how much he wanted to know if she tasted like the exotic scent of orchids and oranges she smelled of or if it was something totally different.

  He watched her tongue flick out and he expected it to sweep across her lips, which had gone parched from the shock of the pain. But instead she closed the distance between them and nipped at the corner of his lip.

  What am I doing? The reality hit him like a
bolt of lightening and he groaned. This was so many kinds of wrong. He was doing exactly what the beach bum was trying to do to Ash. He was taking advantage.

  Her hands reached up and wrapped around his neck. She sighed against his mouth. Her teeth made a sound as they clicked against his.

  This was so wrong.

  Chapter Five

  Pain and pleasure were two emotions on different ends of the spectrum. Ash never thought to put them together. But the whiskey depths of Kieran’s eyes left her with a heated sense of need, and pain cloaked to such a point that it mimicked pleasure. A sensation she couldn’t equate to anything she’d come across before.

  His hair felt soft and silky and for days she’d wanted to touch it, to see if that hair product he used would leave it lacking. It didn’t, in fact as her fingers knitted through his hair, the smoothness of his scalp tingled her palms and there was heaviness in her belly. Something unexplainable. Would he think her forward now that she’d tried to press her lips against his? Surely he could see she was impatient.

  The pain was that stubborn wave that continued to knock against the breaker. Annoying, but definitely something she could deal with. Her gaze lifted when he pushed her away. “I should call an ambulance,” he took out his mobile phone.

  Thwack. The resounding sound from his rejection stung so much it was nothing compared to a jellyfish. She lifted herself off the ground, refusing his offer of help. Her heart was beating so wildly that it matched her gasping breaths. She pushed her hair away from her face and felt the heat in her cheeks. He must think she was some sort of wanton woman who would make public displays of affection to anyone who’d have her.

  Slowly she straightened her bathing suit before picking herself off the ground. She limped to her bag and took out a small bottle of lemon juice she normally kept for her tea. “Don’t bother, Dr Kanna. Home remedies sometimes work best. I can see myself home thank you.” Without meaning to half the bottle ended up squirted on her foot.

  “That’s ridiculous Ash. I am going that way. I can drive you to the hotel. You can hardly walk,” he placed a hand on her shoulder which was shrugged off.

  “It’s my afternoon off. I have errands to run.” She turned away hoping he wouldn’t notice that her voice had taken on a high-pitched sound. She still had to face him in the morning and the day after. This was so embarrassing.

  “Are you crying?” he was developing powers of perception at the worst possible time.

  “I splashed lemon juice in my eyes,” she said. Hoping he’d leave. The stinging was not so bad but his rejection still hurt like he’d kicked her on the soft part of the shin.

  “If this is about the kiss, then forget it. I won’t take advantage of you. Let’s not complicate the deal we have.” He placed his hands in his pocket and kicked the heel of one foot with the toe of the other.

  Was he trying to be a chivalrous gentleman? How sweet. There was a chance she might never get a chance to experience anything exciting and adventurous and he wanted to suck all the joy out of her life. Did he have any idea what her potential life could look like? Of course he didn’t.

  “Kieran, you are such a fool.” She strode up to him and grabbed onto his tie, pulling him closer. His hands were still in his pocket, his eyes were wide open and she placed her thigh between his legs and leaned in. He gasped in surprise. She let him. After all, he deserved that scared deer-in-the lights-look.

  As his lips were barely an inch she took the tip of her tongue and traced a pattern along the edge of his lips. He tasted of coffee and mint. And something she couldn’t describe. That heavy feeling in her belly came back with a vengeance. She didn’t know whether to step back from the force of it, or to plunge herself into him and bathe in the beauty of it.

  She teased open his mouth with little nips and waited for him to comply with her pleas. As his mouth opened she slipped her tongue into his mouth and waited for the rush of sensation to catch up with the rate of her heart. “Kieran.” His name was barely whispered when his lips were crushed against hers.

  The instant she felt him pull away she moaned and pulled him closer. But like some dream she couldn’t get back to, he stepped back.

  “We shouldn’t Ash. It’s not fair on you.” His hands swept across his face and he sighed. “I respect you too much.”

  Wow. That was definitely a new one. He was definitely old school. Grabbing her bag Ash dabbed the hot tears spilling on her cheeks with her forearm as she walked away. She hadn’t cried once when they stripped her of her crown, but she cried now. Unbelievable!

  She sniffed and refused to turn back. If she saw pity grace those puppy-dog brown eyes, then that was it for her. What she needed was some affirmation that reminded her this was a business deal and nothing else. And maybe a few on how to respect herself more.

  *****

  No matter how many times Kieran looked at the old fashion clock that sat on his father’s desk, the time refused to go any faster than it could. The light knock on his door was a welcome distraction.

  “Coffee, sir?” she handed him the cup without waiting for the reply.

  He took the steaming mug. “Why do you bother asking when you know the answer?”

  After the kiss at the beach she avoided contact with him when she could. He missed her smile the most. “I will come back for the coffee cup.”

  He’d run out of excuses to make her stay longer. “I wish you’d talk to me. Like you used to.”

  As she turned her hair fell over her shoulders. She deserved that crown. “It’s a pretend relationship. There’s no one here to pretend for.”

  The sound of heightened voices prevented him from rebuttal. “Someone out there might disagree? Do you think it’s another allergic reaction? Maybe Stuart couldn’t stay away from the local cuisine?”

  Ash shrugged and went to the door. “It’s probably that tie salesman pleading poverty.” So she noticed he hadn’t been wearing his suits. She hadn’t said anything.

  The reception area was empty except for a fifteen-year-old girl with a limp caramel coloured baby in her arms. Her tear stained eyes turned towards Kieran and Ash. “Please help. My baby is sick and I don’t know what to do.”

  The numbness in Kieran’s arm returned with a vengeance. Such vengeance he had forgotten he had an arm before then. He turned in desperation to Ash. Could she run out and look for a real doctor? Call an ambulance. Do something, not stand there and look at him like he had the answers.

  “Kieran!” the sound of her voice pierced his subconscious.

  He stepped back as the sharpness of the sound rattled him. Only when she pulled the child out of the mother’s arms and took her into the consulting room did he realise that it was him that was standing there. Like a marble statue.

  This time when she said his name he rushed to her side. She must have seen Jessie or watched it on television before because she was already two steps ahead of him, and was placing oxygen on the baby’s face. He could hear Jessie call for the ambulance. He looked down at the little girl and wiped off the dripping sweat from his forehead. Was the air-conditioning on?

  “You can turn the oxygen up a little. Maybe up to eight,” he looked at the little gauge. Ash’s fingers shook as her hand moved toward the oxygen valve. “That’s good Ash. Well done on getting the oxygen on.”

  He turned to the teenager. His thoughts were a jumble. “What happened?”

  The girl was rubbing her arms frantically, moving her weight from one foot to the other. “She’d been sick for a few days. I thought it would be okay to wait till next week to bring her in. She’s always had a problem with her chest.”

  Kieran took in the undernourished state of the child and the bluish tinge of the child’s lips as he picked up her wrist. “Ash, bring the thermal blanket from the drawer over there.” The child’s hands were cold.

  “Thermal blanket?” Ash opened the drawer and looked at him blankly.

  He peered into the drawer. “That’s the blanket there. It look
s like foil. We usually don’t need it in this heat but dad always insists on a fully equipped clinic and now I know why.”

  Ash removed the silver blanket from the plastic and handed it to him. “That doesn’t look like a blanket.”

  “It will warm her up. There is a nebuliser set in the second drawer, could you get that for me?” He was about to explain when she opened the drawer and took out the clearly labelled pack and handed it to him.

  “You will need some sort of stuff to go with this. Should I call Jessie to come get it?” she asked.

  The thought of having her leave made the numbness in his arm return. “No, open the medication cupboard and take out some adrenaline for me. I need to nebulise her with it.”

  This time his hand shook and Ash focused her gaze on his. “Kieran, her lips aren’t as blue.”

  He followed her gaze. The child’s lips had lost the bluish haze. Her skin was less grey. In a flash he saw Johnny. On the ground and in his arms. More dead than alive and he remembered trying to save him. He remembered trying so many things but nothing worked.

  Ash lifted the child’s blouse. Pigeon chest. The child was struggling to breathe. She was sucking in air and he could hear the wheeze. Even as he watched her, he knew, she was more dead than alive.

  Like he was fixing an error in one of the many programmes he worked on, he connected the nebuliser and squirted the adrenaline into the little bowl. Then he swapped the oxygen mask for the nebuliser and waited.

  This time he watched the clock and each time the second hand ticked along, he felt like he’d been running the last mile of a marathon. The child’s mother continued her restless vigil.

  When Ash asked him the question he feared most, Kieran knew that honesty was overrated in the medical field. There was a reason he chose not to practice and he had made peace with that decision. Ash’s hand felt soft and warm on his shoulder and he leaned into her. “I don’t know if she will be okay. Her mother should have brought her here sooner. She was without oxygen for a while.”