Lowdown and Lush

by Selena Laurence

  I wrap my arms around my middle and look at the floor.

  “Jenny,” he says softly. I look up at him and he’s back in my space again. Looming. “I know JR’s been good to you. If there were some way to keep him from getting hurt here, I’d be all for it, but the fact is, if you stay with him, feeling the way I know you do about me, you’ll be hurting him more than you can imagine. Jen, no man could stand knowing he only had part of you. You’re not one of those women. The man you choose needs to have all of you or you’ll break his heart. Just keep that in mind.”

  He takes my shoulders in his hands and leans down, placing one soft, perfect kiss on my lips. Then he strides out the door, shutting it behind him, and something inside me cracks open as hope leaks in.

  I DON’T tell JR about Michael’s visit that night, but the next night comes and I know I have to. He calls me before going to bed like he does most evenings.

  “Hey, beautiful. How was your day?”

  “It was okay. I slept in and then spent some time choosing between different versions of the third song on my album.”

  “Great. How’s it coming? Do they think it’ll be done by the end of the month like planned?”

  “It looks that way. Tammy said they’ve gotten contracts signed with two regional retailers in the Pacific Northwest. She’s working on similar deals with some Midwest and Southern stores too.”

  “Ah, baby, you’re going to blow them away. I can’t wait to hear the final product.”

  “Thanks. Hey, um, JR? There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay.” I can hear the wariness in his voice. In some way, I think he’s been expecting this.

  “When I got home yesterday, Michael was waiting for me on my front porch.”

  I hear him curse as he pulls the phone away from his face. In a moment, he’s back. “And what happened?”

  “We talked for a while. What he told you is true. He wants me back.”

  His voice is soft and resigned. “And what did you tell him?”

  My chest aches. I’ve never felt so disoriented in my life. “I told him I need some time. To think. To make sure I’m clear. For everyone’s sake.” I remind myself to breathe. “JR, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I wish none of this had ever happened. I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m not,” he says warmly. “I wouldn’t trade knowing you for anything. You…” He has to pause and clear his throat. “You mean a lot to me, Jenny. You always will. I don’t regret any of it.”

  Tears well up in my eyes, and I struggle to keep from falling apart. “You’re such a wonderful guy, JR. I mean that. I’ve loved every minute we’ve spent together.”

  “Good,” he answers and I can hear the smile in his voice. Then his tone gets more serious. “But, Jenny? I need this to be it. Whatever you decide this time has to be the end of it. Either way.”

  I nod even though he can’t see me. I just can’t speak without sobbing.

  He seems to understand. “I’ll talk to you in a few days then. Take care of yourself, beautiful.”

  “You too, JR,” I whisper as the line goes dead.

  Michael

  IT’S A sunny, late autumn afternoon a week after I marched into JR’s office and told him that I’d be taking my girl back when Jenny shows up at Mrs. Stallworth’s house. I’ve been staying here in the room Walsh lived in for a while when he and Tammy were working things out. I’ve managed to change almost every light bulb in the chandeliers in the front parlor and the dining room this morning. Mrs. S. has had me doing chores most of every day I’ve been here. I’ve kept tabs on Jenny, but from afar, making sure to give her the space she asked for.

  But as I stand on a ladder screwing in the final tiny, candle-shaped bulb in the crystal fixture over the main room, I hear her sweet voice.

  “I never thought I’d see Michael Owens looking so at home in such a fussy house,” she teases.

  “I met this girl,” I say, stepping off the ladder and gazing at her with every pent-up bit of love in my heart. She’s so fucking gorgeous that I want to yell it from the rooftops. “She tamed me.”

  “Is that right?” she asks, stepping a little closer. “And where is she now?”

  “She’s deciding whether she’s going to follow her heart back to me.”

  “Really?” She runs a fingernail up my chest, making me break out in shivers all up and down my front. “You’re pretty hot. She should hurry and make a decision before someone else snatches you up.”

  “Nah,” I say. “She can have all the time she needs because she’s the only one for me. I’ll wait forever if I have to.” I pause. “But I hope I don’t have to. What do you say, Sunshine? Am I going to have to wait forever?”

  She looks at me, her hand flat against my abs, her baby blues sparkling with that something indefinable that makes her the most fascinating woman I’ve ever known. My heart beats like a caged beast against my ribs. She must be able to feel it against her hand. It’s calling out, struggling to get as close to her as it can.

  Her lips turn up in a sweet smile. “No,” she tells me. “No more waiting. No more wasting time. It’s just you and me from here on out. Please make it worth my while.”

  Joy shoots through me and I lift her swinging her around in my arms before my lips crash down on hers for the deepest, most grateful kiss I’ve ever bestowed on anyone. When I finally come up for air, we’re both breathing heavily and her face is flushed.

  “I’m going to spend every day for the rest of my life making it worth your while, Sunshine. I love you so fucking much.”

  “And I love you,” she answers before kissing me again.

  I lift her off the floor, still kissing her, and walk us out the doors into the hallway. Then I scoop her up in my arms and head for the stairs to the basement.

  She’s giggling as she asks, “Where is Mrs. S.?”

  “Some old ladies’ gardening lunch,” I pant as I get her to my room, slam the door shut, and lock it.

  “Oh, the women’s auxiliary annual gardening luncheon. I bet my mom’s there too…”

  “Jenny? Don’t mention your mom at a time like this. Please.”

  She laughs and the giggles turn to pants and soft moans as I get her clothes off and stroke her silky skin from ankle to hip. I whip my shirt off then gaze down at her. Jenny is an all-American beauty—there’s no doubt. But I realize that, as I’ve come to love her, she’s so much more than a sum of perfect parts. I look at her full breasts and think that those are the breasts that will feed my children. I look at her soft lips and think that those are the lips that form the beautiful words to the music of my soul. I see her long legs and think that those are the legs that held her up when I abandoned her. The legs that walked her back to me when I finally came to my senses.

  “God, I love you,” I say as she watches me back. “I’m just overwhelmed right now, Sunshine. I can’t believe this is real—that I’m here. With you.”

  She reaches up to me, taking my hand and pulling me onto the bed with her. We lie on our sides gazing at one another.

  “It’s all real. I’m here for good. And, Michael, we are going to have it all. And I’m going to thank the Lord every day for bringing you to me. I love you.”

  I press a hot, deep kiss to her pink, plush lips as my hand finds its way between her legs. She’s slick and warm, and I groan with the urges that course through me.

  She unbuttons my jeans and I shimmy them down, kicking them off the bottom of the bed. Her hand goes straight to my dick as I kiss over her shoulder and up her neck. When I get to her earlobe, I nip at it in warning.

  “This will be a short event if you keep touching me like that, Sunshine.”

  “Mmm,” she hums, running her soft fingers up and down my shaft a few more times. “I love that power.”

  I chuckle. “God, I’ve created a monster.”

  “Mmhmm. A monster with a big appetite. Can we skip the preliminaries? I want you inside me so bad it hurts.”

  “
Jesus, Jen,” I moan as my fingers find her center and I dip inside, coating them with her sweet juices.

  I plant one knee between her legs as I pulse my finger in and out of her, making her gasp, her neck arched, her lips parted. I move between her legs, my arms hooked under her knees. Then I lean down and lick once, twice, and she groans, “Oh, sweet Lord, Michael, please.”

  I pull up and position my dick to enter her. The head rubs against her slick, hot core, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from coming right now. I push forward, gasping at the pleasure of her tight channel. Just as I’m about to head for home, I hear her voice through the fog of lust.

  “Michael,” she squeaks out. “Condom.”

  I can’t stop, and what’s more—I don’t want to. I want it all, and I want it right now. I want what I never had as a kid, I want what Tammy and Walsh have. I want what Joss and Mel have. I want what my father wants for me.

  “No condom, Jen,” I whisper, poised at her entrance, my lips next to her perfect, soft little ear.

  “Michael, we just got back together…oh, God.”

  I nudge a touch farther inside her. “I want it all, Jenny. Everything. With you. Right now. Believe in us?”

  She nods. “Yes. Everything. You and me.”

  I plunge in and my world flies at me like a baseball to the face. I’m stunned, speechless. The joy, the pleasure, is so intense that I can’t breathe. I’m frozen, my entire body electrified.

  She wiggles, grinding her pelvis against me. I grunt and she does it again. Then I feel her hands on my face.

  “I’m right here, Michael. Make love to me.”

  I swallow and start to pump slowly in and out. In. And out. Over and over, the sensations of her flesh on mine like some sort of drug that’s giving me the most incredible high I’ve ever had.

  Her hips drive up to meet me and her hands smooth over the skin of my back, my arms, my ass, my chest. Then she snakes a hand down around her hip and mine and cups my balls.

  “Fuck!” I scream out as everything inside me explodes like an atom bomb going off.

  In the midst of it all I hear Jenny cry out, and then she pulses around me and a second wave of ecstasy hits me. When it finally ends, I literally don’t think I can move.

  “God, Jenny,” I manage to grit out as I half-roll and she half-shoves me off her.

  She’s still breathing hard. I turn on my side and throw an arm across her middle, nuzzling her hair at the same time.

  “Are you okay?” I whisper.

  “Oh, I’m so much better than okay. I can’t even describe it.”

  “Thank God, because that hit me like a freight train and I had no warning.”

  She turns her head to the side and kisses me on the lips. I should have made you wear a condom,” she says.

  “I’ll wear one next time if you want. That was worth it. And I meant what I said. I want it all, with you, right now.” I kiss her again. “I’m ready whenever you are. A big wedding, babies, whatever you want.”

  “I want,” she whispers. “I want.”

  Jenny

  I’m not pregnant and it’s sort of a relief. I wouldn’t have minded if Michael and I started our family right away, but I’ll appreciate a couple of years to get my career going first. It’ll also be nice not to be pregnant for Mel’s wedding. Pregnant bridesmaids are a hassle for everyone. There’s no way being fat and encased in satin is a good thing.

  I do not, however, impart this information to my mother who is here in Portland helping me shop for wedding dresses. The subject of premarital sex is one that can stay buried along with many other topics like when my father will decide to let me come back in the house, now that he’s allowed my mother to travel to see me.

  When Michael showed up at my parents’ front door to ask permission to marry me, it went a long way toward mending the rift. He didn’t tell me he was going to do it, but when my mother called me afterwards, sobbing with joy because my father had said he would let her see me again, I knew without a doubt that my life was going to work out just the way I needed it to.

  Daddy hasn’t said more than a few words to me since we started interacting again, but he did come to our engagement dinner in Dallas, and Mama says he listens to my CD all the time. We haven’t crossed the bridge of who will officiate my wedding yet, but it’s baby steps.

  Michael proposed to me at The Bronco one night when we were there with Colin having drinks after dinner. He got up on stage, made a speech that didn’t have a single swear word in it and told everyone that I’d changed his life forever. He said I was his angel and that he needed me to make his life and his heart complete. I cried, Colin made fun, and the whole bar cheered.

  I’ve spent the last two months decorating the warehouse, doing promo for the album, and helping Michael with his new protégé, a young hip hop artist who he found performing at a club in Seattle when we were there for a concert with Luc Nellos. I’ll be going out on tour in a few months, and Michael will be my lead guitarist. We’ve planned the tour so that we can attend Joss and Mel’s wedding first. Michael is in charge of the music, and I’m the bridesmaid in charge of keeping Mrs. DiLorenzo calm. These days our lives are just a series of beautiful, important moments, and I relish every one of them.

  Now I’m rushing through the lobby of the hospital, worried that I might have missed the whole thing. I was being interviewed by Rock Steady magazine as part of the promo for the album when the call came. I had to cut it short, but once the reporter heard where I was going, he didn’t mind. He gets to be the first to break the news.

  When I get off the elevator, I head straight to the private waiting area. “Hey, there she is,” Michael calls out when I rush in.

  I give him a quick peck on the lips. “Did I miss it?” I ask, frantic.

  “No,” he smiles. “Still working at it.”

  “Mel will come tell us when it’s getting close,” Joss says, laying a card down on the end table next to him.

  Mr. DiLorenzo squints at whatever Joss has put down and then looks at his own hand. Colin swears a blue streak and throws down all his cards. The table is covered in red, white, and blue poker chips.

  “Just let me finish this hand,” Michael tells me.

  “Y’all are playing poker while Tammy and Walsh are having their baby?” I ask, disbelieving.

  Colin shrugs. “What else are we going to do?”

  “I don’t know. Pace.” I flutter my hand around. “Boil some water or something.”

  Michael chuckles. “Sunshine, it’s the twenty-first century and we’re in a state-of-the-art medical facility. I don’t think they need our help getting together sanitary supplies.”

  I flop down in a chair. “I know. I’m just so nervous and y’all are…not.”

  “We’re guys,” Joss says. “It’s all pretty much a mystery to us, so we have two choices—stay calm or freak the fuck out. If it were Mel, I’d be freaking the fuck out, but since it’s not, I decided to stay calm and let Walsh freak the fuck out.”

  Mr. D. grunts. Colin laughs and gives Joss a high five. Idiots.

  It isn’t long before Mel comes scurrying into the room. Joss jumps up and goes to her side, putting a hand on her waist. “Is she okay?” he asks seriously.

  Mel has tears in her eyes.

  I see Michael stand up, a panicked look on his face. “Mel? What’s going on?” he asks, grabbing my hand when I get up next to him.

  Colin frowns, leaning forward in his seat like he’s ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice.

  She sniffs a couple of times, trying to get herself under control, and all I can think is, What will happen to Walsh without Tammy?

  Finally, she talks. “He’s here. Pax is here. And he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.” She breaks down sobbing, and Joss takes her in his arms, casting us a look over her shoulder. He doesn’t understand it any better than the rest of us.

  “Hey,” he asks. “Is Tammy okay?”

  Mel’s he
ad shoots up, and she looks around at our faces. “Oh! Oh my God! I’m so sorry. Did I scare you?”

  We all nod in unison.

  She laughs through the tears and her stuffy nose. “I’m so sorry. Tammy’s wonderful. Walsh is wonderful. The baby’s eight pounds, ten ounces, and gorgeous. The Clarks are a family.”

  We all breathe a sigh of relief. Then Colin and Joss high-five each other again and everyone starts talking at once. The sun is blazing through the room in celebration of this baby boy who is the harbinger of a wonderful new world for us all.

  An hour later, we file into Tammy’s recovery room. Walsh is sitting next to her bed, a tiny bundle of blankets in his arms with a little pink face peeking out. The guys all give Tammy kisses and congratulate her while I stand over Walsh and look down at a sweet, sleeping face, lips pursing in a sucking motion as he dreams.

  “He’s really something, isn’t he?” he asks me.

  “He is. He’s just precious, Walsh. Congratulations,” I tell him.

  I kneel down so I can see him better. “Hi there, Pax Silva Clark,” I whisper. “Welcome to the world.”

  “He says thanks. I’m his interpreter for a while,” Walsh jokes.

  “You’re his everything for a while,” I answer.

  He gazes at his son. “Yeah. I couldn’t ask for a better job. I’m going to make sure he has the best life any kid ever had. He already has the best mom alive. I’ll make sure I’m the best dad too. Isn’t that right, little dude?”

  I gently touch the peach fuzz on the top of Pax’s tiny head and smile at Walsh. Then I feel a familiar hand on my shoulder. Michael pulls me up to stand in front of him and wraps his arms around my waist. He puts his hands over mine, stroking the large diamond on the ring finger of my left hand.

  “He’s pretty damn perfect, huh?” Michael asks, gazing down at Pax.

  “Yeah,” I answer. “It’s all pretty darn perfect.”

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