Fuzzy Ergo Sum

by Diehr Wolfgang

  The screen exploded in a kaleidoscope of colors then went dark. The leader didn’t like the orders. Not one little bit. Still, he knew there were big plans in action he wasn’t privy to, yet. He left the cabin and relayed the orders to the men.

  “I’m going to walk the perimeter, collect the cameras and make sure we didn’t miss anything that could lead back to us.” The leader armed himself with a rifle, pistol and sono-stunner, and as an afterthought, a hypersonic hearing aid, then walked out of the camp and started a slow circle around it.

  Back in Mallorysport a decision was made and ten minutes later a well-manicured finger depressed a very special button.

  * * * * * * * * *

  The Fuzzies were gathered near the ridge when they spotted one of the Big Ones. Climber wanted to use her new long-arm thrower, but Red Fur said no. “Wait for Big Ones to come close.”

  The new ‘long-arm throwers’ were branches cut and carved so that a Fuzzy could place the base of a pointed throwing stick on it and get a longer arc when launching the missile. It was arm’s length with a hook-shape at the end where the pointed throwing stick would be seated. The throwing stick had to be shorter, but could be delivered with more force.

  The plan was to try and catch the Big Ones off-guard. Stonebreaker and Climber would use stone axes to chop at the Big Ones’ lower legs while the rest of the tribe used the pointed throwing sticks. Once down, a few chops to the head would, hopefully, make the Big One dead.

  The Big One, perhaps hearing the hypersonic yeeking of the Fuzzies, turned toward the ridge and approached the waiting tribe. Red Fur was prepared to attack when he noticed the Big One had moved his arms out and was holding his hands up, away from the noisy made-things at his sides.

  The Big One had just come around a large tree when something no Jin-f’ke had ever seen before happened: the big melon-seed flying thing exploded with a flash of light like the sun and big noise like thunder. The Big One was knocked off his feet and the tree behind him broke apart leaving only the thick trunk the height of three Jin-f’ke behind.

  The Fuzzies were knocked back from the ridge and showered with dirt and shiny hard things. Red Fur gathered his people together and took refuge under a tree that blocked most of the falling debris. It was many-many heartbeats before things stopped falling, though the air was thick with dust. There was also a strange sound in everybody’s ears, like manymany feekee birds singing at once.

  Red Fur checked his people. There were some minor cuts and bruises, and people had a hard time hearing each other, but nobody was seriously injured or made dead. The Fuzzies picked themselves up and cautiously ascended the ridge.

  All of the made-things and Big Ones were gone. There was just a big hole in the ground. There were also patches of fire on the ground. This made everybody afraid. Fire was a bad thing for the Jin-f’ke.

  “Big Ones gone! Made-things gone,” Climber observed. “What made do?”

  “Not know,” Red Fur said. He looked over the area and saw the Big One who had walked toward them before the thunder noise. Stonebreaker also saw the Big One and wanted to make sure he made dead.

  Red Fur stopped him. “No. Take his made-things. See if he alive.”

  The tribe argued. Hadn’t they come to make the Big One dead for what they did to Sun Fur?

  “Big One not dangerous, now,” Red Fur insisted. “Wait for him wake up. Then we make talk. May be other Big Ones who come. Want to know more about them before come.”

  * * * * * * * * *

  Little Fuzzy, Natty Bumppo, Allan Quatermain and the other Fuzzies were nearly knocked off their mounts by the explosion. Little Fuzzy dropped his radio and it struck a rock. After that, it didn’t work.

  “What that?” Allan asked. “Sound like Pappy Gus gun, but big-big.”

  “Ex-plo-shun,” Little Fuzzy said. “Big Ones make ex-plo-shun to find things in ground, like sunstones. Pappy Vic make many-many big ex-plo-shun at Yellowsand.”

  “We go look at big ex-plo-shun,” Allan said. “See what make-do.”

  Little Fuzzy thought for a moment then decided against it. “Dangerous. No radio. We go back and tell Pappy Jack.”

  Reluctantly, the Fuzzies turned their dogs around and started back toward home.

  * * * * * * * * *

  Captain Lansky took the lead as he approached Peter Davis’s position. Davis held his sono-stunner in both hands aimed at the ceiling. When he heard Lansky’s security detail behind him, he swung around, aimed his weapon at the six men, recognized the CZC security uniforms, then quickly returned the stunner to the neutral position.

  Good, thought Lansky, this Davis has had proper weapons instruction. Lansky introduced himself and requested an update. No change since last communication.

  “Do we know if anybody is still in that room?”

  Davis explained the impossibility of hearing anything through collapsium.

  “Hmm. That means no secret knock or special signal, too. Can you show Matedne and Schröter and Hoffa where that secret panel is? Good. Smith, Glazier, you’re with me. Let’s get us some squatters.”

  Matedne, Schröter and Hoffa went with Davis to the hidden panel. Careful examination revealed the outline of the door, but not how to open it. It was decided that they would simply wait for the squatter to return. The plan was for Hoffa to open fire with the sono-stunner the second the door was fully opened. Davis agreed to act as back-up with his stunner if things got hairy.

  Captain Lansky led the rest over to the service door. Back when he was in the security academy he was taught how to kick in a door to take a suspect by surprise. Kicking a collapsium laminated door was a sure-fire ticket for a broken bone or two. Looking over the door he noticed that there was no locking mechanism. That made sense; this deep into the CZC sub-levels there was nothing worth stealing, and no way to get it out of the building if there were. Or, so it was believed before Peter Davis spotted the secret passage being used.

  Chief Steefer nearly went nuclear when he learned people had been sneaking into the upper levels and setting up tea pads and supernovas over the attempted sunstone robbery. Security had been tightened up significantly since then. Steefer had even talked Grego into putting a rush on sealing up the open levels.

  “All right, on three we go in,” Lansky ordered. “Glazier, stun the whole room whether you see anything or not as soon as the door opens. I’m not taking any chances, here.”

  “What if there’s a Fuzzy in there?” Glazier asked. “They have hypersonic hearing. Won’t the sono-stunner hurt them in an enclosed area like that?”

  Lansky considered that. He had never heard of Fuzzies being stunned, at least not with a sono-stunner. But bullets were a lot more lethal all around and he wanted whomever was in that room taken alive. “We’ll have to risk it. Let’s just hope there aren’t any Fuzzies in there and do our damn jobs. On three. One…two…THREE!”

  Smith shoved the door open and jumped back as Glazier sprayed the room with sonic waves. A man inside the room had jumped up and was immediately dropped by the stunner. Lansky and Smith rushed into the room in search of others. To the left was another door, but this one had an iron bar across it. The door was designed to swing into the adjoining room, so the squatters used super-epoxy to attach hooks to the collapsium lamination on the door, and placed the iron bar across it.

  “Looks like they want to keep something from getting out,” Lansky said. “Could be anything in there, but I doubt it’ll be armed. Smith, get the bar. Glazier, stand ready but don’t shoot unless you have to.”

  Smith pulled the bar and Lansky pushed open the door then jumped back.

  “Great Ghu’s gonads!” yelled Glazier. “It’s a giant Fuzzy.”

  The Fuzzy stepped into the room where everybody could see him better. Lansky looked closer at the face and his eyes widened in amazement. “That’s not just any giant Fuzzy, that’s Brannhard!”

  “It’s about time you lot got down here,” rumbled Gus. “Uh, I need a drink, s
ome pants and to call my family. In reverse order.”

  * * * * * * * * *

  The Fuzzies carefully approached the still form lying by the shattered tree. The Big One was cut in several places and had a large gash on its forehead but was still breathing. Red Fur noticed the noisy made-thing lying next to the Big One and picked it up. He handed it to Tells-things and told her to throw it into the river. The other made-things were unknown to Red Fur but he took them as well.

  Stonebreaker, Climber and Silver Fur wanted to kill the Big One, but Red Fur would not allow it. He explained that the Big Ones could no longer hurt them. The other Big Ones must have made dead when the big thunder noise thing happened.

  “Help Big One,” Red Fur declared. “Healer fix. Take back with us.”

  That opened up another argument but Red Fur was firm. People did not kill helpless people. “This Big One sick. Hurt. We help. Learn about Big Ones. Try to hurt us, then make dead.”

  * * * * * * * * *

  Ripper entered the Last Chance Bar with his bag of supplies and waved to the man mixing drinks. The man nodded and Ripper walked past him to the restroom. In the last stall he pressed three bricks on the wall in the sequence Laporte had shown him and a section of floor opened to reveal a narrow staircase.

  Fifteen years earlier when the CZC Company House foundations were being laid, one of the senior architects, Hikaru Schwartzen, arranged for a special modification to the plans. This modification created a hidden passage to what was then a prefabricated cabin. The plan had been to have a secret entryway into Company House allowing him to help himself to whatever was stored in the lower levels.

  Unfortunately, a few years later as Mallorysport grew and certain undesirables immigrated to Zarathustra, Schwartzen ran up significant gambling debts to one Spike Heenan. To get the money to payoff Spike he borrowed from Leo Thaxter, at a rate of six-for-five. When he ran behind on his payments Raul Laporte sent his men to collect. Having nothing else to pay with, Schwartzen told Laporte about the secret passage into Company House. Laporte immediately saw the advantages and paid-off Schwartzen’s tab, then set up a bar where Schwartzen’s cabin had been.

  Schwartzen had since met an untimely end in a freak construction accident, as did his confederates who helped him construct the secret corridor. Only a very few select people knew about it and they all stayed healthy by keeping their mouths shut.

  Ripper descended the long staircase wishing Laporte could have arranged for some kind of elevator or escalator. It was a long way down to sub-level three, floor four, and a two mile walk to the hide-out. Maybe Laporte will upgrade with his cut of the bounty on Brannhard, he thought with a chuckle.

  Ripper pushed open the hidden door into the corridor and carefully looked both ways and listened for any voices. Nothing. The first time he came through he almost soiled himself when he saw a giant twelve-legged spider skitter past his legs. He drew his gun but held his fire, remembering Laporte’s warning that the noise would travel a long way through the corridors. Collapsium was good for soundproofing out noises on the opposite side, but it also allowed for a lot of sound wave rebound and echoing. The mobster didn’t understand the physics, but readily grasped the need for silence.

  Satisfied that the corridor was empty, he stepped out and sealed the panel behind him. He then walked directly to the storage room where he and Anderson were hiding out. Ripper opened the door to find a strange man pointing a sono-stunner at him. The last thing he knew was that the man said “nighty-night” and everything went dark.

  “Nighty-night?” Lansky asked with a wry expression.

  Davis shrugged. “Thanks for letting me do that. This has been the most excitement I’ve had since I took this job.”

  “Well, don’t let anyone know about it,” Lansky warned. “The Chief would skin me and use me for a welcome mat if he found out I let a civilian take a risk like that.”

  “Oh, relax,” Gus grumbled. “If Steefer makes a fuss, tell him it was my idea. Now let’s get the Nifflheim out of here.”

  After finding Brannhard, Lansky’s first inclination was to hustle Gus upstairs and call the colonial police, but he realized there was a second man still on the loose. There was also the possibility that the kidnappers had confederates in the CZC since they were hiding out in the bowels of Company House. Lansky decided that it was best to wait for the other man and take him when he returned. To this end he sent two men around the corner of the corridor, two more down the opposite end around the next corner, and kept Gus, Davis and Schröter with him. Gus Brannhard was asked to wait in the adjoining room where he would be safe from possible gunfire.

  “The only way you’ll get me back in that damned room is on a gurney,” Gus replied. “Maybe not even then.”

  Lansky relented provided that the Chief Prosecutor would wait in a corner behind the entry door and added, “Take my back-up pistol, just in case.”

  It was over an hour before the door opened again. Peter Davis, who had been pacing back and forth, was standing in front of the door when it opened. Without thinking he raised his sono-stunner.

  “Well, now we can get these mutts out of here,” said Lansky. “Smith, go get some proper clothes for Mr. Brannhard—”

  “‘Mr. Brannhard’, hell,” Gus interrupted. “You boys can call me ‘Gus’. In fact you can call me a hairy sonuvabitch and I’ll still buy the first round after this.”

  “Yes, sir…uh…Gus,” Lansky turned to Davis. “How would you like to let Mr. Grego know we just found the missing Colonial Chief Prosecutor?”

  XXIV

  "I would have put him in the best suit we had but he wanted to avoid the appearance of impropriety.” Victor Grego spoke into the four-way split screen to Jack Holloway, Ben Rainsford, Max Fane and Leslie Coombes. “He’s getting into a pair of workman’s overalls, right now. That and getting some veldbeest steak into him. Those sons of Khooghras kept him out for days then left him nothing but Extee-Three and water to survive on.”

  There was a babble of voices as everybody spoke at once, then Jack Holloway took the lead. “How did they get into the Company Building in the first place? Where did that secret entrance come from?”

  “Chief Steefer is looking into that, but it had to have been made when the building was in the construction stage. We won’t be able to ask the prisoners for several hours, I’m afraid.”

  “By that time they’ll be in one of my cells,” Marshal Fane cut in. “But let’s keep a lid on this until then. We don’t want some ambulance chaser looking to make a name for himself by getting underfoot.”

  “You be sure to send that Peter Davis over here first thing tomorrow morning for his 25,000 sol reward,” Ben Rainsford said. “I’ll want to congratulate him in person.”

  “He’s also getting a bonus, raise and promotion here at the company,” Grego added. “I can’t believe he was left working in the same position for ten years. He’s overdue in any case. Lansky and crew all get the bonuses I promised, too. I’ll talk to Harry and see if we should promote Lansky to major. He really handled himself like a pro on this one.”

  “Where is Lansky?” Jack asked. “I want to thank him personally.”

  “He took a team into the secret passage to the Last Chance Bar in Mallorysport and secured it until the Colonial police showed up,” said Grego. “The owner was Ivan Bowlby, according to the property title, and all the employees knew nothing about the passage.”

  “We’ll see if they remember anything under veridication,” Fane said. “I have a BOLO out on the manager.”

  “BOLO?” Ben wasn’t up on cop acronyms.

  “Be On the Look-Out,” Coombes explained.

  “Oh. Personally, what I would like to know is who sent the kidnappers?” Rainsford asked. “From the pictures you sent they seem too young to have known Gus on Terra before he left.”

  “They were sent from Terra, all right,” Gus Brannhard interrupted, as he walked in wearing ill fitting coveralls. “By the Hoshi Campanili Fami
ly would be my guess. I helped to send Hoshi up for twenty years when I worked for the DA’s office back there. Hoshi died a month after he was released from prison, the same year I arrived on Zarathustra, but I would guess his sons wanted revenge for that and…another little thing I did before leaving Terra.”

  “What did you do?” Rainsford asked without thinking.

  “As an attorney I would advise against answering that question if you did anything actionable,” Coombes interjected.

  “The statute of limitations expired over twenty years ago,” Gus said, “and these aren’t the kind of people who swear out complaints.” Gus took a seat, glanced at the bar, and shook his head slightly, and then related the events leading up to his departure from Terra. “Before I left Terra I used much of the information we had gathered while putting the case together. There were several account numbers from various banks that we were unable to seize as they were outside of our jurisdiction. Well, I just accessed all those accounts and re-routed the funds to a local bank.”

  “What did you do with all that money?” Marshal Max Fane asked.

  “Well, I donated most of it to several charities—anonymously,” Gus said with an evil grin. “The rest I stuffed into a duffle bag and took with me. That’s how I supported myself while planet-hopping for twenty years.”

  Victor Grego let out a low whistle, then scribbled a note to have all the Company account numbers changed and to increase the security on them. As an afterthought, he added to have the account activity checked for the time around the Fuzzy Trial.

  “How much did you get away with?”

  “Around three hundred and fifty million sols, Jack.” Gus turned to Grego and asked if he had a cigar. He only had cigarettes in the office and he declined. “Let me think…I left planet with only ten million. It was all I could carry in the duffle. That was one of the reasons I gave most of it away. The other was that if they ever caught up with me, they wouldn’t get much of a refund.” Gus chuckled. “I emptied every account I could. They had maybe five million left in liquid assets by the time I was done. The idea was to cripple them as long as possible. Well, that and some revenge for my family.”