Oh, Brother!

by Cochran, Peg

  Oh, Brother!

  Peg Cochran

  Copyright © 2012

  Cover design and illustration by Julie R. Tyler

  All rights reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.

  To Belle, Chessy and Camille

  Chapter One

  Dear Central High Classmates,

  Having a problem with your love life? Send me a note, and I will be happy to advise you.

  Yours,

  Lucy Love

  It was all Mr. Lasick’s fault. None of this would have ever happened if it hadn’t been for him. Mr. Lasick is my history teacher and the advisor for the school newspaper. He can be so random sometimes. Like now—talking me into working on the school newspaper. Only I’m not going to be like “MacKenzie Daly, investigative reporter” or anything. I’m going to be the new “Lucy Love” columnist. Advice to the lovelorn of Central High.

  I wouldn’t have said yes, but Mr. Lasick begged me. He practically had tears in his eyes, and it really upsets me to see grown-ups cry. Aren’t you supposed to be all stoic and stuff by the time you get that old?

  Amber was right in front of me leaving journalism class and when she swung around, her backpack caught me in the head.

  “Watch what you’re doing.” I put a hand to my cheek. Amber laughed and tossed her hair. She has big white teeth like Chicklets chewing gum and thinks she’s cool because she’s blonde, gorgeous and a cheerleader. All the football players are in love with her. Pretty much all the guys in school are in love with her. Probably even poor old Mr. Lasick with his bald, watermelon-shaped head. He should have asked Amber to write his stupid column.

  “Excuse me,” Amber said. “But you just hit my backpack with your face.”

  Tory and Lauren sniggered. They go everywhere with Amber like they’re “Charlie’s Angels” or something. Celia, Emily and I do everything together too, but that’s different.

  Lauren stared down at me, and I took a step backwards. Lauren is really tall and captain of the volleyball team. She always gives this rebel yell when she spikes the ball. She’s really scary.

  Tory just stood there looking bored. She works part-time as a junior model in New York City. She actually had her picture in the Sears catalog if you can believe it. Although why everyone thinks it’s such a big deal to be in the Sears catalog, I don’t know.

  “Why did Mr. Lasick ask you to be the new Lucy Love columnist?” Amber’s face was really close to mine. Close enough so that I could see the little clumps of mascara on the ends of her lashes. “You’ve never even had a boyfriend. What could you possibly know about it?”

  “Yeah? Well I could get a boyfriend if I wanted. Just like that.” I snapped my fingers in Amber’s face.

  She blinked rapidly a couple of times and the bits of mascara on her lashes bobbed up and down. She began to smirk.

  Why did I have to go and say something like that? I guess it’s what my mother means when she goes on and on about thinking before you speak.

  “Let’s see you then. Let’s see you get a boyfriend.” Amber looked at Lauren and Tory, and they all poked each other and laughed. “I’ll bet you a hundred dollars you can’t get a date for the Snow Ball.”

  “A hundred dollars?” I had almost that much in my piggy bank. I’ve been saving ever since I heard Life Cycle was coming to town. My mother says she won’t buy me a ticket—I have to earn the money myself. She is so unfair.

  “Well?” Amber stood with her hands on her hips, her head cocked to one side.

  “Sure. A hundred dollars. No problem.”

  I could hear them laughing again as I dove into the tidal wave of students rushing to the next class. I hate them all. They are so stuck up. Amber’s father would probably just give her the money.

  I’ll show them. I’ll get a boyfriend.

  I have to.

  If I don’t get to go to that concert I will die.

  “You’re going to be what?” Celia spit potato chip crumbs all over when I told her. Celia, Emily and I were in my room having a snack. We were starving since our mothers never give us anything decent for lunch—just sandwiches and fruit and stuff.

  “Mr. Lasick positively begged me. He couldn’t get anyone else to take over the column.”

  “Isn’t that where you have to give advice to people about love and stuff like that?” Emily had cleared a space in the middle of the room and was practicing her dance steps. Ever since she saw Michael Flatley in Lord of the Dance she has become obsessed with Irish step dancing.

  “But you’ve never even had a boyfriend.” Celia shooed my cat Clementine off the bed and took up residence, her feet against the wall. There are two black, foot-shaped smudges there that my mother goes ballistic over on a regular basis. She is practically obsessed with cleaning and is always running around with a sponge. She really needs to find a hobby or something.

  “That’s what Amber said.” I foraged in my desk drawer and pulled out a candy bar that had been hidden in there since Halloween. “I told Amber I could get a boyfriend,” I mumbled around a mouthful of chewy caramel.

  “You did what?” Emily stopped dancing for a moment and turned to stare at me.

  “I told Amber I could get a boyfriend. By the Snow Ball.”

  “Are you crazy!” Emily began twirling around and around.

  “Would you stop that dancing for a minute?”

  “I can’t,” Emily was out of breath. “The talent show is coming up, and I’ve got to practice. Besides, I can’t believe you said that.”

  “I bet her a hundred dollars I could do it.”

  Emily stopped twirling. “No! That’s the money you’ve been saving for a ticket to see Life Cycle.”

  “I know.” I looked at the poster over my bed where Cody Durango was leaping into the air with his guitar. He is so hot. “Maybe Amber will forget about it?”

  Emily snorted and bent over with her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. A wisp of blonde hair was stuck to her cheek with sweat. “Amber forget? No way. Remember that time Theresa Spiro tried to take Amber’s boyfriend? And Amber and Laurel and Tory held her down in the girls room and bleached a blonde streak right down the center of her head?”

  I nodded. I could feel my heart sinking.

  “So who are you going to get to be your boyfriend?” Celia was stuffing the last of the potato chips in her mouth. Bits were stuck in her hair.

  “Travis Cooper.” I said the first name that popped into my head. Just saying the name made my heart do this peculiar little thumping thing. I hope I’m not having a heart attack. Dead at fourteen, how sucky would that be?

  “Travis Cooper? Lead singer for Travesty? That Travis Cooper?” Celia’s eyes bugged out from under her unibrow. I don’t know why she doesn’t get her mother to take her to the beauty parlor to have them, or rather it, waxed.

  “Pardon me while I fall on the floor laughing.” Emily started dancing again. “He’s only like the hottest guy in school.”

  “You don’t think I can do it?”

  “I’ve got a better chance of getting into Julliard,” Celia snorted.

  Celia plays the violin. First chair, first orchestra. Even though she’s only a freshman. She really is very talented. If only she would do something about that eyebrow.

  “Thanks a lot. Some friends you are.” I scrunched up the candy wrapper and tossed it toward the waste basket. Missed. It sat there amidst a pile of crumpled tissues.

  “Okay,” Emily was panting now. “Let’s see you get Travis Cooper to be your boyfriend then.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  Travis Cooper. My heart did that peculiar thumping thing again. And my mouth suddenly got very dry, but the th
ought of drinking anything made me feel sick. Travis Cooper. What on earth was I thinking?

  “This, I’ve got to see.” Celia smirked and picked at the potato chip crumbs on the bottom of the bowl. I don’t know how she can stay so skinny when she is eating all the time.

  “You won’t say anything about this to Amber will you?”

  “Me?” Emily pointed at herself.

  “Amber wouldn’t notice me if I was stuck to the bottom of her shoe.” Celia ran her finger along the bottom of the empty chip bowl.

  “Well, that’s okay then.”

  “Travesty is playing at the dance after school tomorrow. Maybe we should all go.” Emily smiled, and I really didn’t like the look in her eyes.

  I swallowed hard. “Sure. Tomorrow. The dance. Cool.”

  I don’t know why freshmen can’t have proper dances. At night. With the lights down low. Instead the powers-that-be insist on holding them right after school on Fridays. So there’s no chance to go home and change into something more...well...cool. The stupid teachers won’t let you show any skin—not even a little bit. I kid you not. This place is like some kind of prison with Mrs. Schimelhof as the warden.

  I ran into the girls room as soon as my last class was over. Just my luck it’s raining and humid today. My hair has gone ballistic on me. I look half demented with all this frizz—like those pictures of Einstein Mr. Simmons showed us in math class.

  My mother is always telling me I should be grateful to have curly hair and then goes on and on about how grandma used to give her these permanents when she was a little kid so her hair would curl. She has no sympathy at all. I would be better off as an orphan or something for all she cares.

  I also have a spot on my nose that’s the size of a third world country.

  Maybe if I put on some more eye make-up it will distract people. My mother says I have nice eyes, but then she also thinks that that Mark what’s-his-face she’s dating is handsome. Barfiola!

  The gym was packed, and we had to edge our way through the crowd. The band was warming up. Screeching guitar chords bounced off the walls.

  I could feel hot breath on my neck and whirled around. It was Celia. I gave her a dirty look, and she backed up. Right onto Emily’s foot. Emily gave her a dirty look, too.

  “Can you see him?” Celia pushed her glasses up her nose with her middle finger. They were cloudy and smudged, with an eyelash caught in one corner.

  I craned my neck. “I’m trying.” I shifted a bit to the right. “Now I can. Oh...my...god, he is so hot.” Travis was standing on the stage with his guitar slung around his neck.

  I began to panic. I half expected to break out in hives or the plague or something. How was I, MacKenzie Daly, going to get up the nerve to approach a...a...god like Travis Cooper? What had I been thinking. I’m way too ordinary for someone like Travis.

  The music started, and some kids began to dance.

  “I’m going to get something to eat.” Celia bolted for the refreshment table.

  Emily and I hung back and watched. “What if no one asks us to dance?” She was fidgeting with a piece of her hair.

  “We just have to act cool like we don’t care. Besides, lots of kids aren’t dancing. I’m not even sure it is cool to dance. As a matter of fact, if someone does ask us, we should say no.”

  I stood there trying to look bored and like I normally spent my afternoons riding around in convertibles with college-aged guys.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “What do you mean, what’s the matter?” I stared at Emily.

  “You look like you’ve got a pain or something.”

  I sighed. “No I don’t. This is my bored look. My I’d-rather-be-anywhere-but-here look.”

  Thank goodness Alex Woodmere came up right then and asked me to dance.

  Emily stood there with her mouth slightly open as we moved toward the dance floor, but I just smiled and gave her a little wave. She really shouldn’t believe everything I tell her.

  I had a much better view of Travis out on the floor. Just the way he strummed his guitar made me go all wobbly in the knees. Which is not a good thing when you’re trying to dance.

  “Hey,” Alex touched me on the shoulder, and I turned back to face him. I guess I was kind of staring at the band. Hopefully no one noticed. Ohmigod. What if Travis saw me staring at him? Why do I have to be such a geek? Maybe it’s genetic or something. If that’s the case, I am sure it comes from my mother’s side of the family.

  The music ended, and everyone sort of milled around.

  “Want to see what the next song is?”

  I nodded. Alex is an okay guy. He has lived next door to us forever. A lot of the girls think he’s hot, and I guess maybe he is, but I think I have just known him too long. I can still remember the first day of kindergarten when he barfed all over Jack McCoy, and his mother had to come get him. It’s hard to feel romantic about a guy you know that well.

  Just then Celia and Emily came over. “Well?” Celia was devouring a slice of pizza like an animal going after the kill on those nature programs my mother is always trying to get me to watch.

  “Well, what?”

  “Going to make your move?” Emily has tiny, little piggy eyes. I’d never noticed it before now.

  “You’re chickening out.” Celia turned the words into a sort of song. “You’re chickening out.” There was a bit of cheese from the pizza stuck to her braces in front. Fortunately the music started back up, and Alex and I began to dance. I tried to look cool dancing. Just in case Travis happened to notice.

  There must have been something slimy on the floor because I felt my right foot start to slip. Then I felt this hideous pain in my knee. I think maybe I fainted because everything got sort of white and hazy looking for a couple of minutes.

  When I opened my eyes, Travis Cooper and Alex were carrying me down to the nurse’s office.

  Chapter 2

  Dear Lucy Love,

  I don’t know what to do. My mother is dating this guy and it really bothers me.

  Sincerely,

  A troubled teen

  Dear Troubled Teen,

  At least your mother isn’t getting MARRIED like mine is. Quit whining!

  Yours,

  Lucy Love

  My mother is getting married. It’s true. To this Mark what’s-his-face guy. I don’t even want to think about it. Unfortunately it seems to be the only thing she wants to talk about anymore.

  “Can I come in?” My mother opened my door and stuck her head into my room. I have no privacy.

  I was sitting on my bed icing my knee. There was nothing seriously wrong with it, and the nurse assured me I wouldn’t have to “hang up my dancing shoes”. She kept grinning at me. It was really gross. Fortunately Travis had already gone back to the gym. The band had called a short break while he and Alex hauled me down to the nurse’s office.

  It would have been the perfect opportunity to say something to Travis, but Alex was there. Besides, my knee was throbbing, and my heart was doing that funny thumping thing which made it kind of hard to talk. Of course now he probably thinks I am the ultimate in geekiness. An uber-geek. A geek to end all geeks. Can’t scientists invent some sort of vaccine that prevents parents from infecting their children with geekiness? If they did, they’d be bound to get the Noble Prize and all.

  My mother pushed open the door, and it stuck on a pile of dirty clothes.

  “How can you find anything in here?” She sniffed and looked around my room.

  She patted her hair. She’d had it cut and highlighted recently, and it made her look like Mrs. Platypus, my kindergarten teacher. I don’t think her name really was Mrs. Platypus, but that’s what we all called her since we couldn’t pronounce her real name. There should be some sort of law that all kindergarten teachers have to have simple names like Smith or something.

  I don’t know what has gotten into my mother. It can’t be love—she’s nearly forty. But she’s started highlighting her hair and
getting new clothes and stuff like that. At her age, that is such a waste of money.

  I hoped she would leave, but she came in and leaned on the edge of my dresser. I sighed.

  “Guess what we’re going to do the Saturday after next?”

  I braced myself. Whenever my mother says “guess what we’re...” in that chirpy tone of voice, I know I’m not going to like it.

  “Mark is taking us both out to dinner. And you’ll get to meet his son.”

  Oh joy, oh joy. I get to meet what’s-his-face’s son. I’ve nearly succeeded in blocking out the fact that they are both going to be living here after the wedding. Why does she have to keep reminding me?

  I tried to remember what she’d told me about the son, T.J. something-or-other, but it was no use. Whenever she starts talking about what’s-his-face, the son, the wedding or anything even remotely connected to it, I zone out, and it’s like the television with the sound turned down.

  “We can go over some of the wedding details since you’re going to be my maid of honor.” She got that dreamy look she always gets when she talks about the wedding. “Mark’s son, T.J., is going to be his best man.” She was quiet for a moment. “I hope you two are going to hit it off.”

  I nodded like a fool. Anything to get her out of my room.

  “Mark says he even plays in a group.”

  I sighed. Great. He probably plays the accordion in an Oompa band or something.

  “I wish you would take more of an interest in the wedding, Mac.” My mother looked at me, her eyes all round and dark.

  What does she expect? I’m supposed to get all excited that this weird guy is going to be moving in with us? And his son too?

  “If you could just be a little happy for me. It hasn’t been easy being alone.” My mother sniffed and reached for the tissue box on my dresser. “You’re still going to be my best little girl. You always will be.” She smiled.

  I nodded some more. If only she would leave. I can’t stand when she gets all mushy like that.