The Damaged Heroes Collection [Box Set #1: The Damaged Heroes Collection] (BookStrand Publishing Mainstream)

by James, Sandy

  Well, she’d had time, more than enough time, to regain some control. And more than enough worries about him to know that, no matter what, she’d always love him. They really needed to talk this whole mess out for good, assuming he would ever let down that stoic façade and show her what was in his heart. After that, if he decided he still wanted his “prairie divorce,” she’d give it to him, although it would break her heart.

  When Susan tried to take a step toward James, Daniel’s grip on her tightened. Glancing back up at him, ready to ask him to loosen his hold, she was amazed at how much his expression had hardened. Those friendly blue eyes had darkened to a steel gray, and his mouth was fixed into an irritated frown. Not entirely sure what to make of that reaction, she looked back at James, trying to think of exactly what she wanted to ask him. Only one thing came to mind, and it popped out. “Where in the hell have you been?”

  His jaw actually dropped in response. “What you do you mean, where in the hell have I been? I’ve been right here.” He swung an arm and pointed at the saloon as if she wouldn’t understand his statement. “Everyone in the goddamn town knows I’m here. Just where in the hell have you been? Seems like you’ve settled in well.” Setting his hands against his hips again, James shifted his eyes to Daniel. “Who’s your…date?”

  She wanted to throw something at James, something heavy. Preferably at his miserable head. She’d done nothing but worry about him since he’d abandoned her. Even after the way he’d treated her, she’d still been concerned that he found a safe place to stay and something to eat. But her inconsiderate jerk of an estranged husband had simply gone on as if he hadn’t left behind a woman he’d been married to almost twenty years. If it hadn’t been for Daniel’s help, she would probably still be miserable, cold, and hungry, wandering around the woods and sleeping under a stupid tree.

  Swallowing her anger and trying to maintain some kind of dignity around Daniel, she mustered up her bravado and finally answered James. “This is Daniel Miller. He’s my friend.”

  James snorted a laugh. “Your friend. Yeah, right. That’s why he’s got his hands all over you. Sure looks like you didn’t have trouble finding a new guy to take care of you.”

  She was about to launch a few insults James’s way when Daniel tightened his grip on her even more. “Why is this man bothering you?”

  Susan glanced back at him and saw the anger building. “It’s fine, Daniel.”

  “It’s not fine. Is this the bastard who left you alone?”

  “Left her? Left her?” James narrowed his eyes at Susan. “That’s what you told him? That I left you?”

  “That’s exactly what she told me,” Daniel replied. “Seems to me like you being so rude only confirms it.”

  James scoffed at them.

  She ignored him, speaking instead to the man who actually seemed to give a damn about her. “Please let it go, Daniel. I’m fine.”

  Daniel set his mouth into an angry line. “Susie, I—”

  “Susie?” James practically screeched. “You let him call you Susie? Shit, you hate that name.”

  “Well, I like it now,” she insisted, wishing this ordeal over as soon as possible. “Daniel, can we please go talk to the owner now?” She gave his arm a gentle stroke. James’s face flamed in response.

  Daniel shifted his gaze between the two of them before settling it back on Susan. “If that’s what you want.”

  She nodded.

  He took her hand and led her into the saloon. James trailed behind, close enough the doors almost hit him when she and Daniel passed through. Had she not known better, she might have thought that Daniel gave them a small flick back as if he wanted the doors to smack James. A small smile curled on her lips. It quickly faded when she saw the men in the bar.

  A standing room only crowd. Every single one of them was gawking at her. Glasses halted in midair instead of traveling to the mouths that now gaped open. Wide eyes stared at her, making heat rise on her face.

  Susan hadn’t counted on being a spectacle. She just needed a job. Then the history teacher remembered that women didn’t work in saloons in the 1800s. Unless they were…

  Oh, good God. These men thought she was a prostitute. Her face flushed warmer as she turned back to Daniel. “They…they must think…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence.

  He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “They think you’re an incredibly beautiful woman, Susie. That’s all.” He let his hardened gaze roam the crowd, his voice holding a note of threat. “If any man here thinks you’re anything but a lady, then they’ll answer to me.”

  The man had become her knight in shining armor. She’d never had one before. They didn’t exist in her own time. “Thank you, Daniel.”

  “My pleasure, darlin’. Let’s talk to Li’l Jim and see about that job.” He didn’t let her hand go. Instead he led her to the end of the long, wooden bar.

  James followed again, still frowning. She wanted to turn and kick him in the shin. He sure wasn’t rising to her defense, and he probably didn’t care a bit whether the customers thought she was a whore.

  “Womenfolk cain’t be in here!” a deep voice shouted, followed by several nods and more than a few repeated hollers of the same theme. “’Specially no lady!”

  They didn’t want her here. Her hopes dropped like a heavy rock down a very deep well.

  All it took was another hard glare from Daniel and the voices quieted. Then he looked at James. For a few long moments, Susan feared the hostility she saw between them. The tension in the air turned as thick as fog. Daniel finally asked, “Where’s Li’l Jim?”

  Before James could answer, a short very plump man came waddling out of the kitchen. “What’s the hubbub?” He smiled at Daniel. “Nice to see you again, Daniel.” His friendly brown eyes settled on Susan. “Who’s this pretty lady?”

  “Susan Hollis,” Daniel replied.

  “Hollis? Hollis?” James voice rose to a shout.

  She shot him an angry frown. “Yeah, James, Hollis. It’s what you wanted, remember?”

  He shook his head, although his words contradicted the action. “Fine. Whatever.” He flipped a hand in apparent dismissal, making Susan’s face flush warmer. “Call yourself whatever the hell you like. Doesn’t matter to me.”

  The last words hit her like a punch to the nose. He really didn’t care anymore. She’d really, truly lost him. Tears brimmed her eyes. She quickly sniffed them back. Oh, she would cry. No doubt of that. She would cry long and loud until she had no voice left and no more tears could come. But Susan sure as hell wasn’t going to cry in front of James.

  Daniel brushed a caress across her shoulder, bringing her back to the conversation between rancher and saloon owner. “There’s really nothing she can do ’round here?”

  “Sorry, Daniel. I told you, I cain’t use her.” The little, round man nodded toward James. “That’s Big Jim. New bartender. If he weren’t here, she might work out. But…there he be.”

  “Well, then,” Daniel said. “It’s settled. She can just come back to the Circle M.” He narrowed his eyes at James. “With me.”

  James didn’t reply. Instead he gaped at Susan. She shook her head and glanced away, her hopes resting like a pile of withered autumn leaves at her feet. This was most likely the only place in River Bend that would hire her, and James had beaten her to the punch. It wasn’t fair. Now, she had no choice except to rely on Daniel’s continued hospitality. Her pride hurt enough she almost wished he hadn’t found her under that damned tree.

  “Unless…” The saloon’s owner stroked his waxed moustache, lost in thought for a moment. Then he leveled his gaze at her. She could have sworn there was a challenge in that stare. “Can you sing, Peanut?”

  Her stomach immediately formed a tight, nervous knot. Not over the nickname. She actually found that a bit endearing because he seemed so genuine and concerned about her. No, the churning gut started with the word “sing.”

  Susan had a beautiful voice
. She knew that. But for some reason, it fled like a frightened wren whenever she had to use it in public. That always seemed a bit ironic to her. She made her living talking to small crowds, basically performing for people. Perhaps it was easy because she loved history so much and wanted to share that passion with her students. Perhaps it was because, deep down, she liked to hear their laughter at her silly jokes and stories. Perhaps it was the thrill at seeing those figurative light bulbs popping above students’ heads when understanding came over them.

  But sing?

  When she was young, she sang whenever and wherever she could. School choir. Church choir. Even at one wedding for a friend. Of course, Susan had thrown up right after the ceremony when her nerves finally got the better of her. Now, whenever she thought about singing in public, she balked.

  About a year ago, she’d found enough courage to try a solo at Christmas. In choir practice, a friend told her if she pictured the crowd naked, it would lower her anxiety. That tactic backfired. Her mind reversed the image, leaving her standing naked in front of a laughing, jeering congregation.

  Sing? No. Hell, no.

  Daniel brought her back from her burgeoning panic attack with a gentle hand squeezing hers. “Susie, you don’t have to—”

  “Susie? You really let him call you Susie?” James interrupted as he grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to face him so fast she dropped Daniel’s hand. “You hate that name. Why are you letting him use it?”

  She had an almost overwhelming urge to slap him. Why was any of this his concern now? He’d left her. For good, according to him. “I told you before, I like it now.”

  Daniel scowled at James before he turned Susan back toward him. She felt like a spinning top. “Li’l Jim lost his singer last spring. Can you sing, darlin’?”

  Susan started wringing her hands. It took her by surprise when James’s hand reached around to gently cover her clenched fingers. She tried to take comfort from him. At least she did until he opened his mouth. “Look, Suz, you finally found your way back to me. I’ll take care of you now. Just like always.”

  Surely, she hadn’t heard him right. “Excuse me? You’ll take care of…Are you serious?” Take care of her? After everything he’d done, everything he’d said, he suddenly wanted things to be back to normal? She glared at him, narrowing her eyes as she allowed her anger to swell, knocking aside any anxiety that might have been plaguing her. “You took care of me? Of me?”

  When he nodded, she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from shouting. Good God, he actually believed what he’d said. How irrational was that? James thought he’d taken care of her. Time travel had clearly warped his mind.

  For all the years they’d been a couple, she’d taken the reins. She’d handled the finances, cooked the food she’d shopped for, and raised their children while James had gallivanted off to the Windy City every morning, whistling a happy tune. She’d stretched their meager budget, making tuna noodle casserole and every flavor of Hamburger Helper. Anything to keep her family fed. She’d cared for their children while they struggled through the usual childhood illnesses. She’d even nursed James through an adult flare-up of chicken pox and a bout of chest pain that turned out to be nothing more than an anxiety attack. She had taken every car they ever owned into the shop for oil changes, tire repairs, and tune-ups.

  And he thought he’d taken care of her?

  Screw that!

  James watched Susan as her face flushed, her typical response when she was pissed off royally. Why was she growing so angry? He was taking the moral high ground, offering to take her back. After she’d thrown away the wedding ring that was now burning a hole in his pocket, he still wanted to honor his vows. They always found their way back to each other, no matter what wedged between them. She should throw herself into his arms and rain those butterfly kisses he loved all over his face. Instead, that angry flush spread over her cheeks all the way to her ears and down that slender neck.

  He’d been sincere. Susan had to have known him long enough to understand he was a man of his word. He’d never let her down before. Even though he despised his job, he still worked an ungodly amount of hours a week so his family had a roof over their heads and food on the table. He’d taken every bit of overtime he could when the kids were little so Susan could be a stay-at-home mom in those important early years. He’d driven a car that was older than Methuselah while he got her a new minivan to tote the family around. And he hadn’t been joking when he said his jeans were older than Li’l Jim’s daughter. He never bought anything for himself. Ever.

  What right did she have to get pissy with him when he was offering to take care of her again?

  “Fine,” Susan said with a decisive nod and a determined look on her face.

  James breathed a huge sigh of relief, suddenly realizing that he’d been afraid she really would leave him. “Good. I’m sleeping in a cot in the backroom.” He nodded toward his humble abode. “But now that we’re back together, maybe Li’l Jim will give us one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

  “Back together?” Daniel asked, arching a brow at Susan.

  She snorted a laugh. “Hardly. I meant fine, I’ll sing.”

  “You’re kidding.” James splayed his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Give it up. You can’t sing.”

  The heat shooting from her eyes could have melted a steel girder. “The hell I can’t.”

  “Oh, come off it, babe. Last time you tried to sing in public, you went into a mental meltdown. I had to get you Ben & Jerry’s after church to cool you down.”

  Her glare flamed hotter. “I can sing.”

  His snort echoed her earlier one.

  “I can sing.”

  Li’l Jim took her hand and pulled her a step away from James and Daniel. James took the step with them. “Look around, Suz. Look how many rowdy guys you’re gonna have to sing for.” Letting his own gaze wander the saloon, James realized that everyone there had become mannequins. Unmoving. The noise level in the smoky saloon had fallen to a few hushed whispers as every man seemed to be taking in not only the melodrama unfolding before them but Susan as well. “It’s not friends, like at church. It’s a bunch of strangers who look like they want to eat you up and spit you out.” It sounded cruel, but he only spoke the truth. Maybe a dose of reality would get her to abandon such a stupid idea and let things go back to the way they were before. “Don’t do this.”

  He had to admit she looked beautiful. No wonder the men were staring. The period outfit suited her. James had always joked she had an old soul from an era long past, and he’d been correct. Susan was meant for this time, this place. Then he considered the male crowd ogling her.

  Jealousy slammed into him like a head-on car crash. His knees actually went weak. There wasn’t a man in the saloon who wasn’t leering at her. At his wife!

  Susan was too busy talking with Li’l Jim to pay any attention to James. He bristled even more at her rude dismissal. When she turned to smile at him, a smile suddenly full of confidence and a hint of mischief, he frowned back at her. That cool smile stayed on her face as she walked over to the upright piano.

  She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

  Could she?

  Susan brushed the cobwebs away, flicking the clingy strings from her fingers. Pulling the bench out, she took a seat and lifted the cover from the keys. She locked her fingers and flexed her hands out, palm first. When her knuckles cracked, several of the men in the bar laughed before silence again settled on the crowd.

  James was torn. He should stop her. He should keep her from making a damned fool of herself. God, that time she tried to sing in church…She’d cried about it for a week.

  Her fingertips touched the keys, and she experimented with a couple of chords. The piano was out of tune. Not horribly so, but it sounded like it had been ages since anyone played it. There wasn’t any sheet music anywhere in sight. What in the hell could she even play?

  She hummed softly as her slender fingers picked out a
tune. It took him a moment to realize the song sounded familiar.

  Sinatra. She was plunking out a Sinatra tune. “That’s Life.”

  James took a few more strides toward her. There was still time to stop this. It came as a shock when Li’l Jim’s hand reached out to grab his upper arm. “Let her do this, son.”

  He shook his head at Li’l Jim. “She’ll look like an idiot.”

  “You don’t understand. She needs this.”

  Needs this? Why would she need this?

  The notes of “That’s Life” swirled around him as she played the intro.

  Understanding settled on him, much to his shame. To show you she can do it, you moron. James stood his ground as he realized Susan was doing what she did best. Rising to a challenge.

  The saloon’s quiet was soon broken by the voice of an angel. Susan sang the song about rising above the bad in life to find the good. James listened—really listened to her—for the first time. The lyrics spoke volumes about her personality. They showed exactly what she was feeling. They revealed a little of her soul.

  He felt so stunned he couldn’t even applaud when she finished the song. Not that it mattered. The Golden Nugget had erupted in cheers, whistles, and stomps. Susan turned to smile at the men over her shoulder. A coy little smile that made James’s stomach clench. He’d seen that smile. He loved that smile. She always threw it at him right before she would take his hand and lead him to the bedroom.

  She was flirting with an entire room of strange men.

  Jealousy made his face flush hot and forced him to tighten his fists at his sides. Before he could find the will to go to her, she turned back to the piano and started belting out a song from some old Broadway musical about guys drinking in a bar. After a few repeats of the chorus, the men in the Golden Nugget started singing along.

  Susan had won.

  James turned back to Li’l Jim, who threw him a smug grin. Daniel’s smile was no less haughty.