“He killed my father. I have no home now,” She looked into Sasha’s face and then with a cry wrapped her arms around the woman before burying her face in her neck and sobbing her pain out.
Chapter 24
“I will take Pyter this news. He will want to know how we have failed.” His eyes sought out Sasha’s as she held the shaking sobbing woman. “Bring her to camp when she is ready but be careful. They will not dare move against us on mass but the boy’s madness is plain to see. He has already braved the forest to kidnap her from us once. He may brave it again.”
“And if he does I will skin him alive.” She cupped Alice’s head, holding her steady as tears rained down on her. “There must be an answer to this Markus.”
“There will be, but first we must make sure she is safe.” Turning he disappeared into the forest as Sasha kept her arms around Alice rocking her gently.
“You are not alone Alice,” she whispered, “We promised right. I won’t give up on you if you don’t give up on me.” Then she felt her own sorrow and tightening her arms she stroked the soft golden hair that lay against her. “I’m, so sorry Alice, you didn’t deserve this. I should never have come to you all those years ago.”
No, I don’t deserve this. Slowly Alice sobs quietened. She stood still within Sasha’s arms, growing anger chasing the sorrow she felt. “This isn’t your fault,” she whispered and her voice was low, calm, dead. “This is his fault.” I was never close to anyone there, but I could at least talk to them, help them. How can one person create this much damage and get away with it? It isn’t fair. Lifting her head from her friend's shoulder she saw worry, concern, even a flash of fear on her friends face.
“Help me,” she whispered. Cupping the Walkers face within her hands she stared deep into her green eyes. “If you feel anything for me, help me please.”
“How can I help you?” The words were whispered, yet they pounded in Alice’s head as Sasha gripped her wrists and pulled her hands away and then stepped close to her. “You know I feel for you,” Alice could feel the warmth of Sasha’s body, it blazed like the sun but did nothing to the ice she felt inside. “Tell me, Alice. What can I do to make this better?”
“There is nothing you can do to make it better Sasha,” Alice spoke without thinking and saw the Walker woman flinch at the coldness of her words. “But you can help me get peace.” Pressing her forehead against Sasha’s she closed her eyes and whispered, “Turn me, Sasha. Make me into what you are and give me your power so I can kill him.”
Then the arms dropped from her and Sasha took a step back in surprise. “Alice, no, please,” Shaking her head Sasha trembled. “I would do anything to have you with me, but not this, not a decision made when you are in pain and rage. Come, we will go back to the camp and you can grieve for a good man and then we can talk.”
“And by then it will be too late!” Alice screamed it, anger and pain filling her words. “He means to wage war on you, filling the forest with wolf traps. He will send his men in to kill you and then he will start to cut the forest down. His madness knows no bounds and he must be stopped.”
She grabbed Sasha’s wrist, squeezed it painfully. “Everything within me hurts Sasha, everything an inside my heart screams for revenge. I know a thousand ways to kill him with the herbs of this place, to poison him so that his stomach melts and he feels the pain that I feel now. I could kill him easily the way I am now but he will not let me close if I go to you. So, either change me so I can kill him as a wolf, or I leave and go back to the village.”
Sasha shook her head, horror on her face and backed away but Alice stalked her like the animal she needed to be. “I will do it, Sasha. I will go back and beg for forgiveness, do every degrading thing he asks until we are wed. Then I will let him take my virtue, in pain and terror, holding my screams inside until he is finished and then when he awakes he will find a compliant wife. We will lay together, as often as needed until he trusts me fully and then I will poison him, sending him and me to our deaths.”
“This isn’t fair,” Sasha shook her head and Alice saw the long night black hair tumbled about her shoulders. The silver streak gleamed in the daylight like a promise of steel. ”I would give anything for you to love me, Alice, anything to feel you against me once more. But you do not understand. To kill as the beast for food is one thing. It is necessary and our humanity understands it. To kill out of bloodlust and rage, that is different. You will lose yourself in it, becoming a beast fully and I will have to help hunt you down and kill you. I cannot do that.”
“You say you want me, say you would do anything for me but you balk at my first request.” The words that tumbled from Alice’s mouth were harsh, hurtful and she saw Sasha blink back tears. “You’ve already given up on me.” Turning her back on Sasha, Alice started to walk back towards the village, her face wet with fresh tears.
“Wait!” Sasha ran after her. “I doubt I could turn you even if I wished to. I do not have the gift the same way as my family, you know that. It is up to the patriarch of the family, my father, to make the decision and to turn you. It is him you must convince, not me.” She reached out and grabbed Alice’s shoulder twisting her around. “Come with me; speak to him if you no longer trust my words.”
“Then take me to him so I may ask him,” Alice stared at the Walker woman. Anger still filled her heart and she opened her mouth to stay more before shutting it tight.
“If it gets you away from that village,” Sasha turned and pushed her way through the foliage and Alice followed. The words she said so quickly haunted her mind and she raised a hand to stop Sasha, to apologize but the words would not come out. I will say sorry when Aiden is dead. Then I will have all the time in the world to make amends.
The journey to the Walker camp was three hours of silence. Sasha did not sing her song, did not beguile the forest into moving for them and Alice found her strength waning. As she walked she stared at Sasha’s back, saw it clenching with anger and pain. Finally, when the Walker camp appeared it was almost with a sense of relief that she stepped into the clearing.
She looked around, saw sympathetic smiles on the faces of the people she had come to know but ignored them. Walking towards Pyter she felt her resolve strengthen. “Father,” Sasha began but Alice walked in front of her and knelt on the ground in front of Pyter. Looking up at him her eyes were on fire as she faced him.
“You have by now heard of what happened. Your successor to be offered me a place in your family. I believe based on the strength of a vision. I tell you truthfully, I mean to kill the man who destroyed my father for the crime of saying no. If you allow me to join your family, if you give me your gift, your curse, I will use that beast to kill him. That will bring trouble down upon your heads but you should know, he has told me his plans to seed the forest with wolf traps to kill you all. He hates you and will not stop until you are all dead.”
She looked up at him and felt the stares of the family around her but ignored them. “Change me and let me end this threat to your family and gain my revenge.”
There was silence around the camp and Alice watched as Pyter walked towards her and pulled her upwards. “We do not kneel like vermin and I am certainly no king to kneel to.” She felt his hands on her shoulders but could not escape his gaze. “I am sorry for your loss. Georg was a good man and he deserved better. He raised a fine daughter though and in his name, I will join you to my family. You will not be alone Alice.”
Then she watched as he raised his head and his gaze met Sasha’s. “She will need someone to stand with her. Since she is your friend will you do this daughter?”
“No, I will not.” Alice did not think she could feel more pain, but she closed her eyes and tried to fight off tears as Sasha spoke. “This is wrong. Let her grieve first and then speak of this. She risks losing herself because she is in pain. I will not stand by and watch her be destroyed.”
“I will stand with her.” Markus stood forward and Alice watched as he moved to her si
de. “I made her the offer and I stand by it. Now or later it matters not. I saw a need for her and I trust in the gifts given to us by the goddess. She will not lose herself to the beast.”
“Very well,” Pyter’s eyes still stayed on his daughter and then moved to take in the entire family. His voice rose until all could hear and he commanded, “We gave her the protection of the forest and it was broken. We have lost a good friend to madness and we have been threatened. This must be answered and it will.” Turning his eyes back to Alice he spoke, “Go with Markus, cleanse yourself and make sure you are sure of the path you wish to take. We will allow this act of vengeance for a strike against any of us is a strike against all of us. Know this though, this change cannot be taken back, cannot be wished away. It is for the rest of your life.”
She nodded her face hard. “I understand and agree.” Turning she flicked her eyes to Sasha, “I am sorry,” she whispered, “For what happened before. I hope when this is all done you will allow me a chance to explain.”
“Come,” Markus placed his hand on her shoulder. “I will show you to a place you can think about what is to come and bring water so that you may clean yourself.” Together they walked away into the camp and even as she did she felt Sasha’s eyes on her and her heart broke a little more.
True to his word Markus brought her water and she washed the dried blood off her hands and the muck from her face. Then she sat and thought of everything she would be giving up, only to realize it would not be that much until finally, when the sun began to set Markus came for her once more and said, “It is time.”
“Father, please do not do this. You know the dangers she will face if she kills as the beast after the first change.” They walked towards the pair as they talked, “Please I beg you father. I love her and I cannot face losing her again.”
She stopped, Markus by her side behind Sasha as Pyter shook his head. “I am sorry Sasha, I allowed my love for you to bring her here and now, as a result, she is alone and the family has lost a friend. This is on our heads and I cannot allow that to stand without an answer.” Raising his head he spoke powerfully, his command ringing out to the entire camp. “I have spoken. Alice will this night be given the gift and join our family.”
Chapter 25
“Father no!” Sasha ran towards them and seeing the look on Alice’s face she turned and whispered, “Please father, give me a moment with her.” Pyter nodded and his gaze swept the family as they sat around the fire lit campground. One by one the members of the family melted away into the shadows and she heard them change, a sharp crack of bone, a howl of pain that turned into a howl of joy and then crashing as they began to run.
“Do not take too long,” Pyter commanded and with a nod to Markus they both moved off, following the rest of the family. She saw the old patriarch melt into the shadows and Markus, standing in the trees far enough away to give them privacy, as he waited for her.
“Alice,” Sasha kept her eyes on her and Alice felt them like a caress. “Please, do not do this. Do not go down this road. I am begging you.” She saw the Walker woman reach for her and took a step back. All sound in the forest seemed to stop but she didn’t care. “I understand, you do not want me,” The Walker woman’s voice went quiet, filled with her own pain. “I will learn to live with that as I have learned to live with everything else. This though will not ease your pain. It will only increase it. If you truly wish to become one of us then fine but please, wait until you have mourned.”
“Sasha,” Her voice broke and she went forward, reaching for her and unlike her, Sasha did not move away. Sliding her hand behind the long dark hair she pulled the young woman forward and then the stood, nose to nose, eyes staring into each other. “My father’s final piece of advice to me was to think with my heart for once and I did. Last night that was all I could think with.” She laughed and it became a sob, “All my heart could think of was you, Sasha. All it could think of was your touch against my skin, your kiss on my lips, and your breath against my cheek.”
“This morning I told my father I loved you and he smiled Sasha, he smiled because I was so happy. All I had to do was say yes to Aiden and my father would be alive but I couldn’t because all I could think of was being with you.” She felt her eyes prick with tears, “I am to blame for his death Sasha. I am to blame for everything.”
“No,” Sasha whispered, “You can’t think like that, this isn’t,” She tried to talk but her words were cut off as lips pushed against hers, kissing her with a hunger and desperation that made her heart hurt. Then the kiss was cut off and she felt Alice’s head against hers.
“He will get away with it Sasha. He will dump my father’s body in the forest and blame you and the villagers will listen because they are terrified. He will use the death he created to cement his position and he will get away with it because he has all the power. I can’t let that happen. I just can’t. We were going to leave together, my father and I to come to you, so he could meet the woman who stole my heart and now he can’t see you. I can’t let Aiden get away with that Sasha, I just can’t.”
“Please understand,” her voice whispered quietly, “I have to kill him, Sasha. I have nothing left but that.”
“You have me,” Sasha whispered it and cupping Alice’s face she kissed her cheek gently. Taking her hand she squeezed it, refused to let it go. “I am not, nothing Alice. I am someone who loves you.”
“No, I don’t have you.” Shaking her head Alice swallowed against a throat that wanted to scream. “How can we be together Sasha? We are from two different worlds. Do you want me to stay at home in camp whilst you hunt and run with your family? Do you want me to be useless, not able to earn my keep as I travel with you? You wouldn’t come to my world, leaving your family behind and I wouldn’t ask you to. But I will come to yours. Welcome me into your family that is all I ask.”
“It isn’t that easy Alice.” She felt dark hair against her skin and wanted more. “This change isn’t something to be chased after. Right now you could go into any village, any city or town and find a place amongst your own. You have a place in the world. If you join us, if you stay with me then whenever we met another family you would be looked on with pity. The partner of the one who is a curse, you would be looked upon with suspicion and disregarded as I have been. Your entire world would be this family and me. It isn’t enough.”
Alice stared into those green eyes that had captivated her since childhood. The hair under her hands felt so silky, the streak of moonlight so bright. Closing her eyes she pulled the young woman into a tight hug and whispered: “You would be enough.”
She tried to remember every detail of how Sasha felt in her arms, every smell, and every touch against her skin and then she took a deep breath and pushed her away. “But before I can be with you I need justice. If there is no justice in the world then I will make my own and this will be it. If you cannot accept me afterward I will keep away from you when it is done.”
Sasha watched as the woman turned and started to walk away, towards the forest and the rest of the Walker family. She felt the sting of tears come to her eyes and with a howl of fear she ran after her. “Alice, wait,” she gasped grabbing the woman’s shoulder and the young woman turned, her face red and her eyes full of desolation.
“Give me one reason to stop,” she whispered it and Sasha could do nothing but give voice to the heartbreak she felt inside.
“If you kill him you will lose a part of yourself.” Dropping her hand she shook and had to wrap her arms around herself in an effort to contain what had to come out. “You’re the first person other than my family I can remember that looked at me with anything other than loathing. When you were in trouble I fought for you. When you were in pain I came to you. You were my friend, you were my life. If you go through the change, yes you will be like us but what you do with it will change you forever and I don’t care if it’s selfish, I don’t care if it’s what you want it will destroy you. I love you, stay with me as you are, pleas
e.”
Alice looked at her and smiled a lonely sad smile before taking a step away. “I can’t,” she whispered shaking her head. “He killed my father and if he gets away with it he will kill others. He needs to die and this is the only way I can do it.”
She turned away and the moonlight shone down making her blond hair shine. “Then I’ll do it,” Sasha spoke once more, her voice breaking. “I’ll kill him for you.”Turning she saw the Walker woman had tears on her face. “I’ll do it so you don’t have to. He will be punished. If you want the change, this gift or curse of ours then I won’t stand in your way. Just don’t lose yourself to this darkness.”
Then Alice reached out once more and cupped her cheek. “My strong and brave protector,” she whispered. “You don’t have to try to be the strongest or the bravest with me. I already know you are those things,” The smile she gave was slight but for a ghost of a second it was there. “You could do it I know. You would do it for me, but you would carry around his death for the rest of your life.” She gently stroked hair away from the woman’s face, “It’s my turn to protect you so no, this is my vengeance, and I will do it.”
Turning back to the tree line Alice began to walk once more, her path leading towards Markus who waited for her. He would take her to the place where Pyter would be waiting she knew. Then she would gain the power to do what needed to be done. She would gain the power to kill Aiden and a part of her wanted that power avidly.
“I can’t stay and watch you lose yourself to the darkness.” Sasha shook her head, her dark hair falling like the night around her shoulders. “I just can’t. You mean too much to me.”
“I love you, Sasha. You showed me more than I could ever repay.” The words floated across the air towards her and when they landed they made her chest hurt. Tears filled her eyes as she heard “If I lose myself to the darkness if I become more animal and person, don’t hunt me. Remember me as I am now, someone that needs you.”
Wolf Heart: Moon Born book 1 Page 15