Leaving the woman behind Alice walked up to Markus and sighed. The forest around her was filled with noise and her feet stumbled amongst roots she could not see but she felt no fear. She felt much of nothing.
“Are you sure you wish to do this?” Markus asked his body straining against a need to change and to be with his family. With a nod towards the Walker camp, he continued, “I know Sasha. You chose this path over her. She will hold this in her heart.”
“Tell me truly Markus. In your vision, was I human or wolf?” She faced him but her heart was behind her, racing off through trees faster than she could imagine.
He did not answer. Instead, he looked over her shoulder towards the path Sasha had taken. “In some ways, she knows more about the change than any other family member. Having been given a slightly different gift at birth she does not understand one thing, however.” Then his eyes came down upon her, “Tell me healer, have you ever wondered why the Walkers only take foundlings?”
She shook her head and he nodded serenely. “The one thing Sasha never understood. The darkness can only take over the light when there is no light to come back to. We take foundlings and give them a home, a place, and a purpose. That gives them a light to come back to. Do you have a light to come back to healer?”
She looked back over her shoulder and sighed. “I do not know. I could spend the rest of my years with her but each day would be poisoned by the thought of him living a life of power and luxury after what he has done. If my love is to mean anything, then I cannot lay next to her, share my life with her and think of him.” Then she looked at the patriarch in waiting, “Is there a chance for us?”
He shrugged, “The future is always changing. I would say it depends on how much you are willing to bend for her but there is always a chance.”
Then Alice smiled and it was feral. “Then I will take that chance and I will have a light to come back to. Now, make me one with your family. Give me the power to gain revenge on one falsely killed.”
Chapter 26
Markus turned and walked into the forest and Alice followed. She could feel an empty space within herself, numb to everything but the pain and anger she still felt. Even the touch of Sasha, still burning on her skin had disappeared as she walked to face her new life. The forest moved out of Markus’s way, and she smiled sadly. I miss her voice. I must take my memories of her. The sound of her voice, the taste of her skin, everything and keep it bright. She will be my light. She will be my way out of the darkness once I am done.
“You should know,” Markus’s strong voice whispered to her as they moved, “That your first change will be painful. The first touch of the goddess’s magic is euphoric but as it twists your bones, remakes you into what it needs you will scream. Are you prepared for it?”
“I am prepared but I doubt it will be as painful as what I feel now.” She said it softly. It was not bravado or arrogance talking but simple fact. “And I do not care. As long as I become what I need to be.” She watched as he turned his head then and she saw his eyes measure her with the same intensity that Pyter had.
“You will find everyone in this family has lost someone. That loss is a part of the ceremony but I tell you now, I know the toll it takes. As your future leader and friend I tell you this, do not let it take what you are away.”
They walked on in silence until finally Markus pushed back a forest branch and she saw a clearing. Space had been cleared within for she saw only grass under the moonlight and as she walked into the center she saw wolves appear from between the trees. They entered with her, and one by one, they began to change.
It should have been horrific. The air became full of cracking bones and growls that turned into sighs that were almost pleasurable. Hair retreated into bodies, limbs retracted to become human and paws became hands and feet once more. One by one the wolves turned into the humans they were before and as she watched she felt a strange desperate urging. This will be me she thought, after tonight this will be everything I am.
Naked and unafraid they stood, man and woman both watching her reaction and she looked back. She saw nothing but the loss she felt on their faces, nothing but their shared pain and grief for a man some of them had never even met.
Then from between them all, Pyter stepped forward. He walked tall, proud and his muscles gleamed in the moonlight. Hands clasped behind his back he still moved as if the animal within were only moments from breaking through. As he reached her she saw his eyes were stern and hard, every inch the leader she knew he was. “You have come to know us and the duty to which we are bound. You have seen us as we truly are, tethered between beast and man, neither one nor the other but a part of both. You know this and do not look away, do not call us anything but a friend. So we offer this to you. Join our cause, join our duty and become one with your new family.”
She could feel the rest of the family around her, their eyes upon her and then, slowly, quietly they began to hum. Looking around she saw them swaying, their voices joining together to create a soft whispering hymn that mimicked the wind. Turning back to Pyter Alice nodded and said: “I will join you.”
“There is not one of us that have not tasted the loss of someone special but we take that loss and turn it into something good. We taste loss and come to this path so that we may protect the world from the evil of the first race. We protect the world so many others will never taste the same loss we have. Can you turn your loss into something more?”
Alice swallowed. I don’t know, she thought and she saw his eyes measuring her. “I am not sure,” she whispered afraid that he would turn her away. “I am only sure that I will spend the rest of my life trying to do so.”
“It is a fair and honest answer. What does your second say? Will she make a good member of the family?”
“I believe so.” Markus stepped up from behind her. Whilst she had been listening to Pyter he had stripped and she saw him naked for the first time. But it was an empty shell she looked at, a means to an end.
“Then come and be reborn.” From behind his back, Pyter brought his hands and she saw in one of them he held a knife. He approached her knife raised and she felt her heartbeat quicken. I must trust them now more than ever. This is the only way I can have my revenge and Sasha both she thought as he approached and steeling herself she forced herself not to tremble and nodded.
With his knife, he cut away her clothes, the village garb that she was so used to wearing. Bit by bit she felt her dress fall, her undergarments shed until she stood as naked as the family she was joining. Her body blushed fiercely but she saw no arousal on any face, only sympathy. “We must be naked to be reborn.” She heard Pyter whisper “Changing within clothing would be more painful.” Then he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Trust me on this.”
She watched as he raised the knife once more and then with a quick slashing movement he slashed his hand. Blood began to drip and he approached her, lifting his hand above her head. She could feel the red sticky liquid dripping onto her face and sliding down her cheek as he intoned, “The goddess Sova gave us the blood gift and now I share the gift with one who would become my family. Drink healer, drink and become one with us all.”
Alice shivered as she felt a revulsion to the feel of the blood as it ran down her skin. She had seen it before, lots of it and had it on her hands, but this, this was too intimate, too wrong and she shuddered. I have to do this she told herself. It is the only way I will get justice for my father. Closing her eyes and bending her head back she opened her mouth. Blood dripped into her mouth and she tasted it, red hot and salty. It slid down her throat and she swallowed convulsively before retching as it became too much. Sasha, she thought as she fell to her knees, why are you not here.
Her stomach clenched and pain began to radiate from inside. She could feel her body grow hot, hotter than she could ever imagine and looking up in fear she saw Pyter step backward, his eyes upon her. “Ride the pain Alice,” she heard him whisper “It only hurts the first time I promise.”
The humming from around her grew, the wind of sound increasing until it became intolerable and clamping her hands over her ears Alice screamed out loud.
The scream echoed through the air only to end with a groan of pain as Alice slumped to the ground. Curled up she wrapped her hands around her naked body and felt tears flow from her eyes. Her skin itched abominably and the night became at once bright, full of color before changing and becoming dark and foreboding. “It begins,” she heard Pyter say but she had no strength with which to respond.
She could hear whispering, like leaves moving in the wind and she looked around wildly. The trees swayed in time with the whispering and then with a crack one bent too far and broke. “The gift will be powerful in her,” she heard Markus say as if next to her ears but she could not see the Walker at all.
A hand came down, stroked her hair and she saw Sasha’s smiling gaze. “You never loved me at all did you,” she heard the woman giggle and then she broke apart becoming a cloud of fireflies that turned the night to fire.
Hair sprouted from her skin, covering her in thick dense brown hair. The beat of her heart against her chest increased, became stronger and more vigorous before pain sent her mind aflame. She screamed once more as it hit, wave upon wave of agony as before her eyes her arm began to lengthen. A blinding pulse of heat sent her arm afire as she heard her bone crack and then it strengthened, became sturdy and hard.
Head against the ground Alice closed her eyes as her body continued to change. She could sense something, just out of reach and opening her eyes she saw a gleaming figure, bright and golden. “I was wrong in what I did. I must undo this mistake.” Slowly the golden figure changed, becoming more real, more substantial and she reached down to touch Alice’s jerking, groaning figure. “And you will help me, healer.”
Alice gasped as the pain intensified, becoming more than she could handle. Screaming she watched as her fingers squashed together and then throbbing heat against her nails as they lengthened, thickened, became sharp and rough. Her body jerked on the ground as it changed, and closing her eyes Alice tried to breathe through the fire, the agony until finally, her breathing became pants and her tongue scraped against teeth that were too big, too sharp for her mouth.
Opening her eyes she saw the world differently. Trails of color filled the night, one leading to one of the Walkers who stood around the glade whilst others still led off into the night. She felt her nose twitch, air breathed in and her mind became full of images as the color trails came to her.
“She is one with our family now.” Pyter’s strong voice echoed above her and she looked up. I never knew, she thought to herself as her limbs trembled with the urge to run, to leap and her mouth watered for meat. I am the one with the power now. How did Sasha ever turn back? He looked down at her and nodded. “Yes, you are different, but only in form Alice. Never forget that. Never let the beast take over.”
He knelt by her and stared deep into her eyes. She could smell him, and he smelt powerful and strong. “Listen, healer. I am now your patriarch and you are now part of our family. Listen to the little wisdom I can give you. I remember when I was changed. The urge to become the beast is strong and I understand what you have to do.” he continued talking but she could not concentrate on him.
Two colorful trails hung in the air. One that led to him and one that led from him to somewhere deep the forest. She sniffed at the one that led away, bright silver in color and it promised so much she wanted to run, to chase it down now.
Then her fur was caught, pulled and her bestial eyes took in Pyter’s. “We took you in, offered you the safety of the forest and you were taken from us and harmed. We failed you and so we allow you this act of vengeance.” Tongue lolling from her mouth Alice panted with the exertion of holding so much energy within. “Know this healer. If the wolf becomes more than you can handle, if the animal within overtakes your humanity, we will hunt you and strike you down.”
Then he bent his head and whispered close to her ear. “I am not Markus. I do not have his gift with visions, but I am old and I am sensitive. I know the goddess came to you. I know you are important. So go then, end this and come back to your family.” She felt his head against hers and a strange sensation as he ran his fingers through her fur. “Come back to my daughter.”
He let her go and raising her head Alice howled letting loose the anger and rage she felt. It echoed through the forest, bouncing off trees before it finally fell silent. Then with a bound, she ran.
Chapter 27
I never realized how beautiful the forest is she thought sluggishly as she ran. The background had become a grey cloud, meaningless and empty but the details, oh the details were so much more. The trees around her shone with dark smoky amber light, flowers shone red and purple. Color trails surrounded her diving into the forest and weaving through the trees at various heights. She was running in rainbows, swimming through a world of color and for a moment she felt the sheer joy of movement as her stride lengthened and her powerful limbs pushed her forward.
But the joy she felt was nothing compared to the sheer animal rage that filled her wolf heart. It beat with a need to kill the threat to her kind, the enemy of her pack. Already she could feel her mind becoming foggy, sinking into the state between wakefulness and sleep. A growl erupted from her chest and she snapped at the air with jaws designed to crush and teeth designed to tear.
I must think like me she thought but it was a fleeting thought, a dream she could barely keep hold off. Her powerful hearing brought the cries of the forest animals to her ears. Animals she had never heard before and swiveling her head she knew exactly where they were. Taking a deep sniff of the air she saw color trails explode into her awareness, leading her to these animals. She could track them easily but they were not her target and shaking her head she ignored the colors and moved towards the village.
The journey to the Walkers camp took hours depending on her guide and her route. As she watched the ground disappear beneath her paws she knew it would not take long to return. Her feet moved at a run, thorns on the ground not strong enough to bite through the thick padded skin of her paws. She had the strength to easily make it, the stamina to make ten such journeys. The power she thought groggily, so much power in the animal, in me. I can kill, easily. As she ran she panted, the thick fur that covered her body making her hot and sweaty.
A memory, of another wolf, dark and silver flashed in her mind and she skidded, her feet going out from underneath her as the other wolf became everything. Falling amongst the undergrowth Alice slammed into the trunk of a tree, whining as she felt her body bruised. Getting to her feet she groggily shook her head. Sasha? The name rang a bell and blood pounded in her head before Alice once more felt the urge to run, to stalk, to kill. She took a step, then another, before falling over once more.
“Your natures are fighting healer. You might have the form of the goddess’s magic but you are not a Walker yet. You are more wolf than a person, yet somewhere in there, dimly, you remember her don’t you.” Alice raised her muzzle and tried to speak but it came out a whine. “Oh hush healer. This will pass and you will be able to fulfill your dire quest.”
Sera bent down and Alice saw the sorceress’s hand move before she felt the touch of a human hand against her wolf skin. Fingers rubbed through her fur, dug down and scratched her and she felt a pleasure unlike any she had felt before. “So like my companion and my daughter both. So unwilling to bend in the face of your own desire, that you force the world to be what you want.”
Alice looked up, saw the sorceress glow with colors she had never seen. “I know what you go to do healer. I have spoken with my daughter for she ran distressed and distraught and the trees felt that pain and told me. There is nothing that happens in this forest that escapes me, healer. I understand why you do what you do but know this. There will be consequences of this action. Sasha understood that when she tried to stop you.”
Fear her, the thought flashed in Alice’s head and she saw t
he sorceress smile as if she had heard her thoughts. A whine escaped her throat as the Sorceress continued. “I have sympathy with what you do. My own beloved did a similar thing because of a dire decision by people who felt they were more important than the world around them. But then you think you are more important don’t you. I wonder how much of the healer remains in there and how much is the beast.”
Then the hand that stroked her fur tightened and she whined as pain flashed through her body. “Shall we find out healer? Shall we find out if you have a light to come back to?” The sorceress’s eyes bored into her own. “I say this to you, kill this man and go home. Go home to my daughter who loves you, and know if you hurt her again, I will skin you alive like a dog.”
Then she was let go and the sorceress of the forest gazed down at her with hard eyes. “Consider this my warning. Pyter may protect my Sasha as only a father can, but I am her mother and I will protect her like a fox vixen bitch.”
Backing away quickly, her paws scrabbling on the forest floor Alice bared her teeth and a low throaty growl erupted from her throat as fear mixed with the rage. The sorceress raised her hand and her fingers glowed, “Good healer. Let us find out who still exists in there. Is it the wolf that growls because I am a threat or the healer who growls because I hurt her? Attack me and die or give in to the beast fully, either way, you will never see my daughter again.”
Who is her daughter? Sasha? The wolf in her mind became a person, the person became a feeling and the feeling became a light. It filled her wolf heart with a sense of longing she could not define, balanced the urge to kill with an urge to return to that light.
Gods, what am I doing? She could kill me with a word. With a force of will, Alice tried to close her jaws, tried to stop the growl from erupting. Her body trembled with the strain of it and the sorceress nodded. “Good. I would not want anyone but the strongest for my daughter for she will need a protector to do what she needs to do. Now, go but go slow and let your mind grow to understand the magic the Walkers have given you.”
Wolf Heart: Moon Born book 1 Page 16