I slowly opened up my hand and said to the Lord, “I give Eleanor to You, God.” I realized that she didn’t really belong to me, she belonged to God. And I knew that there was nothing else in my life that I was keeping from Him now. At the same time, I prayed to him, “Please, please do not let her die.” I told God that I didn’t know how I could live without her, and I didn’t know how I would be able to raise our three daughters without her. I begged God not to let her die, but I was also not nearly as fearful as I had been just a few minutes before. I understood that I had to trust in God no matter what – and that I had to give Him everything in my life, including the person who meant the most to me in the world. That was Eleanor.
I went back into that hospital room much more composed. I went to Eleanor’s bedside and said, “Don’t give up. You fight this!” I also told her how much I loved her and how much I and the children needed her. I stayed and prayed for her until the early morning hours, when she finally moved out of danger.
It was the worst night of my life by far. But it was also a pivotal experience for me, as I’ve never been the same in regards to my freedom and my relationship with God since then. There was still something in the way, something blocking the ultimate trust you need for a relationship with God … and I had to give Him Eleanor in the same way I had given Him my life, my finances, and my children.
I am not perfect, that’s for sure. Since then, there have been times when I have taken her back, only to have to apologize to God and give her back to Him again. I now believe that God asks us for things when He knows we are mature enough to surrender them to Him, no matter what they may be.
The question is, “Do you trust God, or do you not trust God?” If you do, then you must surrender to Him completely, and that’s what I did under the toughest circumstances for me imaginable.
For the past twenty-eight years I have worked for a Christian ministry now called Power to Change. I was given permission in 1985 to start a men’s ministry under their umbrella that is now called LeaderImpact Group (LIG).
I felt a calling to reach out to men the same way Mel Stevens and John Bradford had done for me. I knew there were plenty of men just like me with little or no spiritual background looking for a place to discuss and get answers to help handle the stresses, pressures, and issues of life as they related to career, marriage, family relationships, and spirituality. I wanted to create a safe and friendly environment where men would have the freedom and confidence to talk about their own personal questions about life and how spirituality, from a biblical perspective, could answer many of their questions and needs.
I started with three men in downtown Toronto – two doctors and a businessman. We expanded to twelve men in a couple of months as they invited their friends or acquaintances to join our once-a-week sessions from 6:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. in a boardroom. I started another group in Hamilton doing the same thing. I simply replicated what John Bradford had modelled and taught me for three years in his group. The bottom line is we try to help men figure out who Jesus is and how He can influence their lives, which allows them to live life with purpose, direction, and fulfillment.
When I felt I had some men who could capably lead a group on their own, we would have a breakfast and ask the men in the group to consider asking some of their friends to come to a breakfast meeting and hear about what we were doing in our group. I would talk about my faith journey and the affect John Bradford had on me in his group. I would then ask three of the men already in the group to tell the audience why they came out to the group and how it was helping them. We would encourage the new attendees to consider joining a group. We asked them to come and “kick the tires” for four weeks and see if they were comfortable and if they found it beneficial.
Most of the men who came for the four weeks continued, and that is why we now have hundreds of men coming to groups in Toronto, Mississauga, Oakville, Burlington, Hamilton, Vaughan, Markham, Newmarket, Huntsville, Bracebridge, and Ottawa. As we have grown and others joined the staff, we have become a national organization with groups in other provinces as well.
We have developed some very gifted and talented mentor leaders over the years, and the ripple effect continues.
No one ever gets to the point where they know it all or don’t need encouragement and support. The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the other.” When you get twelve gifted men in a room, there is great discernment and insight, and everyone benefits from the collective wisdom. Many men will give their small group the credit for their development and spiritual maturity.
Eleanor and I have spoken at weekend marriage conferences for the last fifteen years teaching couples about biblical principles that allow couples to have a game plan to achieve oneness and harmony within a solid marriage. I believe having a great marriage is one of the most difficult and challenging tasks that we take on; everyone needs help and instruction to get through the tough times. All marriages go through difficult and challenging times, but many couples have no clue how to deal with them and keep the marriage together. We are able to give them hope and solid principles to work through their issues and develop love and deep intimacy with each other.
I have had the opportunity to speak about my faith and ministry hundreds of times in every province in Canada and in more than twenty other countries.
Many of the men in our groups have also joined us on international projects and have spoken on how they operate their business with biblical principles and what part their faith plays in allowing them to handle the challenges of their business world.
I also love the many and varied motivational speaking opportunities I get to address corporations about leadership, teamwork, mentoring, making it happen, and winning.
Needless to say, I have spoken at more fundraiser and charity events than I probably should have, at least from my wife’s perspective.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD, that is what you do. I have tried to serve Him in every way since I made that decision, and that has been the goal of my life’s work since then.
I have had the opportunity to help other people with their own spiritual searches since then, in the same way that my mentor, John Bradford, did for me many years ago.
Some of the men I have worked with over the years were kind enough to provide their thoughts on their own journeys with me, and I am honoured to share some of their observations with you in this chapter.
BRIAN McCARTHY – Insurance Executive
When I first saw Paul Henderson at an outreach breakfast, it was a great thing. One of the best memories of my life was Paul scoring that goal with the seconds ticking down. I left the hall where I was watching the game thinking, I am so proud to be Canadian! Now I was meeting him. He spoke of Christian faith and coming to the Lord in a meaningful way, but with me being Catholic, naturally I thought he was talking to everyone else because I never missed mass. He invited us to join a men’s group. I didn’t join. However, after five breakfasts and hearing Paul five times I decided to give it a try. I met ten strangers from different walks of life and soon became great friends! We shared all the struggles men face together! I realized there is so much more to life with Christ at the centre!
My relationship with Paul strengthened when my career and my personal life met with disaster. My daughter had a CAT scan and a growth on her brain was discovered. The public company I ran closed its door and I was blamed. I was facing four years of legal battles with no job and a daughter in danger. Paul and Fred Christmas, as well as the men in my group, rallied around me and because of my renewed stronger faith I was able to be the husband and father that my family needed during this period. My daughter’s growth is benign, I got a new job, and my legal problems are behind me. The hardest years of my life so far are now behind me. Besides the phone calls from Paul from time to time, the promise that he would pray for me every day made such an impact on me that I never doubted I would get through.
Today, I run a men’s group. I oversee the Oakville area for the ministry and I consider the ministry “my” ministry. I have to get the word out to as many men as possible. Get Christ in their lives, meet with other men to sustain them in the hard times, and help others in the good times. Most of all, they explore their faith. We all have a mind, body, and soul; what are we doing for our souls? Paul today isn’t well and this too has affected me. I see a real man who is facing this struggle with character and grace but mostly great faith. I watch closely and I want to finish well. I am so blessed to have a guy who shows me it can be done and how to do it to be a beacon for others.
It isn’t hard to figure out where I would be if I didn’t have Paul in my life. I wouldn’t have had the faith and courage to meet my challenges. I know it was my faith in Christ and the resources He provided that got me through. There is alcohol abuse in my family but never me; there was despair and defeat in my family but I never even considered it. When people ask how I could handle all the pressure and still get four kids through university, I always feel like a bit of a fraud because it wasn’t that hard when the creator of the universe is with me.
I am shy to this day of Paul Henderson, but I don’t know where I’d be without him.
SOL STERN – Doctor
Paul had a dramatic effect on my life. I learned that God was calling me to become a completed Jew through the acceptance of Jesus as the Messiah.
Paul’s love of the Bible led me to study it as well and appreciate God’s word. After I became a believer, I began to give presentations to other physicians about pain management and have hopefully had a positive effect on the pain control of many patients in Canada.
I continue to be actively involved in our church, and my wife has even become an elder. I gave more than one hundred presentations last year on pain management and continue to have a full family practice in my community.
Paul influenced me in so many ways, but the thing that has impressed me the most is his love and adoration of both Jesus and his family.
STEPHEN OSTAPCHUK – State Farm Insurance Owner/Operator
I’ve known Paul for twenty-seven years. We met at church just after my wife and I had married and when Paul had just got back from Birmingham.
My wife, Cathie, and Eleanor and Paul and I developed a strong friendship over the next few years. When our son was born, Paul was one of the first to celebrate with us and hold Jordan in his arms. He has continued to be a mentor to Jordan throughout his journey over the last twenty-five years.
Whether it was sharing a meal, a game of squash, or serious conversations about our faith, Paul modelled extraordinary commitment to his faith, his values, his marriage and family, and our friendship. He was competing for a higher goal than the Goal of the Century, which gave him fame and glory. He was and is to this day a true mentor.
He encouraged me to get involved with one of his first discipleship groups in downtown Toronto twenty-seven years ago. Paul would pick me up to drive downtown and he would always check in with me in the car, asking if I had my memory work and my homework done! (He has mellowed since.) Many of the memory verses I learned in that time I still hold close to my heart and recite often in challenging times. Paul taught me about conversational prayer and daily quiet times, which I have continued to have every morning.
Paul’s influence has challenged me to be the husband, father, employer, and friend that God wants me to be. Now, Thursday morning is my best day of the week as I facilitate a men’s group of my own (for seventeen years), and I am encouraged to see other men grow in their faith as Paul has challenged me to do through his impact on my life. He will always be a competitive athlete on and off the ice, as I can attest to when we golf together, but he presses on for the goal of a higher calling – one where he will enter heaven, with a life poured out for others, and receive his heaven’s hall of fame commendation of “well done, good and faithful servant.” Paul has always been there with discernment and wise counsel in times of need for me and my family, and he will always have a special spot in our hearts.
DON WEISS – Retired Pension Fund Manager
When Paul Henderson invited me to join a men’s group, I have to admit that I was not too enthusiastic about the idea of getting up early in the morning to sit down with a bunch of men to discuss spiritual values. That just did not appeal to me. I had tried an early men’s Bible study before and found it an absolute chore to start off the day this way. The result was … I didn’t last long.
Paul wears his spiritual life on his sleeve, which I admire. It wasn’t my style at the time, but I discovered it is infectious. I’ve moved a long way to wearing my spiritual life on my sleeve. For me, the discovery group meetings turned into “I can’t wait to come back next week.” And I know the feeling is mutual for many men in our group.
Now it has been years since I first tried on a discovery group, and my love and appreciation of groups continues to grow. I’m thankful to Paul for inviting me and know I have a closer relationship with Christ today and a greater hunger to learn more about Him. My purpose in life has become more clear to me than ever. Over time, I’ve increased my involvement in discovery groups and learned what a difference it can make to your life. I say “treat yourself” to a discovery group … it’s one of the best presents you can give yourself.
LES McFARLANE – Business Owner, Entrepreneur
I have learned to be more disciplined in life. Paul, you are an outstanding role model. You show discipline in your spiritual walk, your physical workouts, and your driving desire to improve your mental capacity – such as memorization, reading, crosswords, et cetera.
I am more serious about my faith. I want to finish this life well. I try to memorize more scripture and read good spiritual books. I try to set time aside at the end of the day to evaluate my day. Did I live this day as Jesus would have me?
I love your enthusiasm about your relationship with Jesus. You are so positive and not afraid to say the right word at the right time. You have a zest for life and your attitude toward your cancer is refreshing, uplifting, and without fear.
You are an encourager – like Barnabas. Your messages are so positive and encouraging. It means a great deal to me to know that you faithfully pray for me. If we ever go to war, I want you on my side!
Blessings, Paul!
DENIS FRAPPIER – AMJ Campbell Owner/Operator
Having lost my earthly father who I revered for several years at the age of eighteen, I have now gained my Heavenly Father Jesus Christ who I call Lord!
My daily spiritual walk with Lord Jesus Christ has instilled a great sense of calmness and gentleness into my everyday life, as this spiritual covenant has removed the letter “D” in front of the word “Anger”!
I am in touch (pray) with my Heavenly Father every day, and that provides me with great discipline, focus, and leadership. In turn, He provides me wirth peace, security, and love.
I lead a LeaderImpact Group (LIG) at AMJ Markham and I’m also the York Region City Team Leader. I am also a member of the Partner Development Committee.
LIG has been the catalyst for transforming my life. Despite trying, I could not do it by myself as I could not deal with it on my own! My Christian faith is the core, and my participation in a weekly discovery group helps me protect the core day in and day out!
STUART CAMPBELL – Business Consultant
I was transformed and became a new person. I learned that God, who laid the foundation of the earth and whose hands made the heavens, also created me in His image. By inviting His son, Jesus Christ, into my heart, I have the right to be God’s child and am able to enjoy a personal relationship with God as my Father.
I set aside a quiet time every morning to spend uninterrupted time with God, reading his word, and through prayer, hand my day over to Him so that I may serve Him. I memorize scripture; I pray; I am always aware of God’s guidance. The difference is that it is not about me; rather, it’s about glorifying and praising God.
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sp; I am a member of a vibrant men’s group that meets weekly and am a deacon at my church. I witness freely to people interested in learning about or exploring spiritual questions.
Paul Henderson’s ministry ignited the Holy Spirit in my life. I became a new person – a spiritual leader at home; a caring, loving husband; a servant leader at work; a caring friend. I am forever grateful for how God touched me and called out to me through Paul’s ministry.
BRUCE ETHERINGTON – Insurance and Wealth Manager
You changed my life by introducing me to the truth of biblical scripture and the reality of Jesus Christ. I began to move away from worshipping self and all things of this world to Jesus and the values of His Kingdom – loving others as He loves me.
l live a different lifestyle from that of twenty-five years ago – Christ-centred rather than self-centred, and while in no way am I perfect, I am also not the person I used to be and am moving closer, I believe, to becoming the person God wants me to be in Christ Jesus. That is a person who puts others before self, prays and reads God’s word daily, and recognizes that God has given me many blessings with which to do His will – which I try and focus upon daily while rejoicing in the fact that my Saviour lives and has forgiven me all my sins and granted me eternal life!
Some examples are: I try to love others as God loves me, which involves the forgiveness of those who have hurt or offended me; I practise daily discipline of quiet time, prayer, and reading God’s word; and I am involved with and a supporter of many Christian charities and organizations.
The Goal of My Life Page 16