Desire Never Dies

by Jenna Petersen

  Ana motioned to the stairs and they began to go up together, arm in arm. “Nonsense, Merry,” she said with a shake of her head. “I’m only sorry your visit to Carmichael was interrupted. How is Tristan?”

  Now that she knew Emily was improving, Meredith smiled. “He is better than well. He is…perfection. And I have news. Tristan has begun training to become an agent, himself. We hope to work together on a few cases before we settle in and start our family.”

  Ana halted on the steps, staring at Meredith with wide eyes. “That—That is wonderful, Meredith!” she gasped. “I can hardly believe it. But you two work so well together, of course it makes perfect sense now that you’ve said it. I’m sure he will be a talented spy.”

  Meredith beamed. “I am so very happy, Ana.”

  Ana nodded as they continued up the stairway, but she couldn’t ignore the sharp, unpleasant tightening in her chest at Meredith’s words and smile. She didn’t begrudge her friend her happiness. Meredith and Tristan had fought for it, earned it. But Ana knew what her feelings were, even though she hated them. Jealousy.

  She remembered being “so very happy.” She’d spent her entire childhood enamored with her late husband, Gilbert. When he finally noticed her, despite her spectacles, despite her painfully shy ways, it had been like every fantasy come true, and she had clung to his love like a lifeline, knowing she would never have anything like it again.

  But her love and the life she’d known had been snatched from her. In the past few days since Emily’s attack that fact had been brought home to her time and again, whether when she looked at Emily’s gaunt face or dreamt of Gilbert and the life they once shared.

  But then, with troubling frequency, she had also begun to dream of someone else. Lucas Tyler’s image, with his smirks and all-seeing stares, troubled her after she blew out her candle at night. She told herself over and over that it was just because she had been so busy readying herself for their case, of course he would be on her mind.

  “How much must I prepare myself?”

  Meredith’s voice cut through Ana’s haze and she realized that they had come to a stop before Emily’s chamber door.

  “I’m sorry?”

  Meredith tilted her head, her blue eyes suddenly focusing on Ana’s face. “You must be tired, Ana. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to assist you.”

  Ana shrugged, pushing away her troubling thoughts. “Please don’t trouble yourself with that.” She hesitated. There was no way to cover the truth. “Emily is very pale. And she is often in pain, though she tries to hide it.”

  Meredith’s lips pursed. “Typical of our dearest friend.”

  Ana nodded. “She takes the laudanum with great reluctance, and it makes her very sleepy, so she may only be able to converse with us a short while.”

  “I merely want to see her.” Ana winced as Meredith’s eyes filled with tears. “To touch her and know she’s whole and still alive in the world. When I feared she wasn’t, I didn’t know what to do. It was like a part of me was torn away.”

  Ana nodded as she grasped Meredith’s hand. She understood completely. “I am glad you’ve come. So glad to see you.”

  Meredith smiled before she pushed the door open and they entered the chamber together.

  Ana stayed at the doorway as Meredith stepped forward until she reached Emily’s bed. Whatever words the two women exchanged were quiet, out of her hearing, and then Emily’s pale hand lifted and the two women touched.

  “Is Anastasia here, as well?” Emily croaked.

  Ana stepped forward with the false smile she had been wearing for her friend’s benefit over the past few days. She had a sneaking suspicion Emily saw right through it. The fact that she didn’t point it out was proof enough of the seriousness of her injuries.

  “I’m here, Emily. I only wanted to give you a moment with Meredith before I interfered.”

  Her friend’s eyes sharpened. “Bah. We are a team, aren’t we?”

  “Always,” Meredith reassured her.

  “Then tell Ana she cannot shut me out from our business,” Emily ordered as she dropped her hand back on the bed in exhaustion. “She won’t talk to me about the case I was assigned before I was shot.”

  Meredith looked at Ana. She shrugged in return.

  “Dearest, I’m sure it’s best if you rest and not trouble yourself—”

  Emily groaned in frustration as she tried to sit up and failed. “How can I rest when I know the attack ruined weeks of work? And that smug Lucas Tyler is probably so pleased that he will get to work on this case alone again.”

  Ana sighed. She had kept the details from Emily, but now that Meredith was there, she wondered if she should just tell them the truth. Certainly she needed their guidance. Reading over Emily’s notes about the attacks on other spies and the building urgency to find the culprit only made her more and more nervous about the impending case. And more and more anxious about Lucas Tyler’s return.

  “Tyler won’t be working on the case alone,” she said softly as she came to the chair at the foot of Emily’s bed where she had all but lived in during the past few days.

  Meredith glanced at her sharply and Emily’s eyes grew wide even though she didn’t try to lift her head a second time.

  “What do you mean?” Emily asked.

  Ana swallowed hard. “I—I will take your place, Emily. I’m going to be working with him to determine who is uncovering and betraying the spies.”

  Meredith nearly flipped over her chair as she came to her feet, and Emily began to cough. The room became a flurry of activity as Ana dove for Emily’s laudanum, and Merry grabbed for a cup of lukewarm tea at the bedside. When the pain medication and the tea had been administered and Emily’s coughing had subsided, the two women stared at Ana.

  “Ana, you’re taking the field?” Meredith whispered, dark blue eyes wide.

  Ana’s heart sank. From their shocked expressions, she could see neither of her friends thought she was ready for such a dangerous prospect. They doubted her abilities and that made any bravado she had built wilt like a flower on a burning hot day. She dipped her head in disappointment.

  She couldn’t do this.

  “Well, I never thought I’d say this,” Emily said. “But thank God I was shot.”

  Ana’s chin snapped up as she caught Emily’s eye. Her friend was actually smiling for the first time since Ana found her bleeding in the parlor.

  “I—I don’t understand,” Ana stammered.

  “Emily and I have longed for you to finally spread your wings and join us in the field,” Meredith said, her pretty face filled with joy and excitement. “And while I don’t echo Emily’s statement of gratitude for her injuries, I do share her enthusiasm that you’ve finally come to the decision to work on a case outside of your research and evidence analysis.”

  Ana’s mouth dropped open. “You—You think I am capable?”

  Emily’s brow wrinkled. “Of course. Anyone who knows you would!”

  Ana drew in a breath and the emotions she’d been holding back bubbled from her lips. “Tyler said I was a danger to him and to myself. He tried to tell Charlie that he wouldn’t work with me.”

  Emily’s eyes narrowed. “Of course he would, the pompous ass.”

  “Who is this Tyler?” Meredith asked, her eyes darting between her friends.

  Emily continued to stare at Ana with an interested gleam in her bright blue eyes. “The spy I was to work with on my case. The War Department idiots couldn’t uncover anything even after a year’s investigation and Charlie convinced them that one of us could help.”

  “What kind of man is he?” Meredith asked.

  Emily barked out a laugh that made her wince in pain. “He’s a typical society rake. Arrogant. Self-congratulatory. Handsome and he knows it far too well.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s the dimples. He thinks they’re a weapon.”

  Ana ducked her head. Yes, the man was handsome. No one could deny that.

  Meredith put a finger to he
r lips as though she were pondering those facts. “But is he a capable spy?”

  Emily didn’t hesitate, despite her earlier censure. “He is.”

  Ana cleared her throat. “Charlie says he’s one of the best in the country.”

  Meredith’s eyebrows arched slightly, but then she merely said, “Hmmm.”

  “Can—Can you advise me?” Ana asked, hoping to steer away from the strangely uncomfortable topic of Lucas Tyler.

  Emily smiled. “I think you’ll recognize your natural abilities very quickly. But I do have some advice. Be careful of Tyler. He will do all he can to cut you out of the investigation. He’ll stop at nothing to solve this case and will use every weapon in his arsenal to make sure things are done his way. This is personal to him, though I don’t know why.”

  Ana nodded slowly, allowing that comment to sink in. Tyler had already made it painfully clear how little he thought of her. She would just have to do everything in her power to prove him wrong and make sure he didn’t shut her out of this case.

  She shivered. Her first real foray into the world of spies and she would have to be utterly perfect. With a man like Lucas Tyler watching her every move, she couldn’t afford not to be.

  Lucas watched as Anastasia leaned over a pile of paperwork, nodding as Charlie gave her a few instructions. He should have been attending more closely to their conversation, adding to her education or clarifying the finer points of the case he had been building for the better part of a year. Instead, he found himself merely staring, watching as her brown eyes moved back and forth when she read. The way her slender hand moved up to massage her neck when she left her head tilted down too long.

  He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. So he found her attractive. There were many women he found attractive. He could resist her. There were, after all, a great deal more important things at stake than the charming way Anastasia Whittig swirled a lock of brown hair around her fingertip.

  “Do you understand, Lady Whittig?” he asked, slouching back in the chair like he hadn’t a care in the world.

  Slowly, she lifted her face to look at him, and her eyes narrowed behind her ridiculously endearing reading spectacles.

  “Yes, thank you for your concern.” Her voice dripped with condescending sarcasm. “I think I understand the basic concept of investigation, Mr. Tyler.”

  Lucas should have been annoyed. After all, she had so little experience in the field, yet she patently refused to ask him questions or even look at him. Instead, he felt a strong urge to laugh at her spunk.

  Isley shoved away from the desk where he had been showing Anastasia the marks on the map where different spies had been ambushed, including the latest attack on Emily as a possible continuation of the betrayal. He rolled his eyes as he looked at the two of them.

  “Well,” he said as he started toward the door. “Since you two are getting along so famously, I think I’ll go check in on Emily and say hello to Meredith.”

  Anastasia did not break her glare with Lucas and she didn’t retort. Just to goad her, Lucas did the same, holding her stare with a steady one of his own. After a moment, she gave up in exasperation. She looked back down at the map as she removed her spectacles and set them on the table.

  “You believe me to be stupid,” she said softly.

  Lucas straightened up in surprise. He was taken aback by her candor…and also how very far off the mark she was. He had done some research while they were apart. After hearing about her inventions and code-breaking skills, he couldn’t help but be impressed by Anastasia Whittig. Woman or not, capable in the field or not, she was still an intriguing, talented individual.

  “No,” he said, treading softly. “Clearly you are not stupid, my lady.”

  Her eyes flicked up, but then back to her work.

  “However, I do believe you are in over your head when it comes to this case.” If she was going to be forthcoming, he had no choice but to be equally so.

  Anastasia’s lips pursed, drawing his attention to the fullness of her mouth for a brief, almost painful moment. But she didn’t deny his statement. Her lack of false confidence impressed him.

  It also left him with the strange sensation of wishing to comfort her.

  “It isn’t your fault,” he added, getting to his feet and moving to the window. He stopped there and turned back. He found she had stopped pretending to look over the evidence and was now staring at him, her face devoid of emotion, though he could see it took effort to cover her feelings.

  “You have hardly been in the field. You have been sheltered,” he continued.

  Her eyes widened as she slowly got to her feet. “Sheltered?” she said on the softest of breaths. Her voice dripped with renewed pain and even deeper indignation. “You have no idea about the circumstances of my life, Mr. Tyler.”

  Lucas watched her step closer. “I—”

  She cut him off even as she came nearer. Once again her floral perfume wrapped around him. Gardenias perhaps, with a hint of jasmine. The scent called to his bloodstream and he suddenly felt hot as he slipped a finger beneath his cravat and tugged.

  “My parents both died of a horrible fever,” she hissed, her eyes telling a story of loss that even her words could not match. “It was sudden and infectious and I never got to say my good-byes to them. And just when I began to feel whole, my husband…the man I loved, my only remaining family that cared for me…died after a hunting accident. I was left all alone.”

  He drew a breath, but she kept moving forward. Now her body heat joined her perfume to twist its way around him. Lucas could no longer deny that the burning in his blood was desire. And if she came much closer, Anastasia wouldn’t be able to deny it either. It would become perfectly clear to her.

  “It was only when I was invited into the Sisters of the Heart Society for Widows and Orphans and was told of their real cause…female spies, that I felt like I had found a new family,” she continued, her voice harsh and low. “For all this time, Mr. Tyler, I have fought to protect my friends in the field through my inventions, through my work deciphering their evidence. But I couldn’t protect Emily, who is my best friend. The woman who took me in when I could no longer survive on the settlement my husband’s heir allowed me.”

  She took another step and her body actually brushed his. Tingling explosions erupted where she moved against him, and they rushed through him to heat every ounce of his blood. To make every nerve ending aware of her in the way men had been aware of women for millenniums. Powerful urges drummed through him. To pull her closer. To kiss her until she stopped talking. To stake some kind of claim.

  Lucas sucked in his breath, trying to rein in his reaction to her. Trying to find some level of control in the face of her bald emotion.

  “So don’t tell me I have been sheltered,” she whispered. “Because you do not know me at all.”

  The world came to a halt as she stood there, so close that his breath stirred the hair around her upturned face. He could find no words to say, and she had said so many that there seemed to be none left. But then the fire left her eyes and her face changed from the fierce champion back to timid society widow. Her eyes widened as she realized just how close they were, but to his surprise, she didn’t move immediately.

  His hand stirred at his side and he clenched a fist so he wouldn’t lift it and stroke her cheek with his fingertips. His skin tingled to feel the satin of hers. Finally, she stepped back. A huge shiver rocked her small frame before she mumbled, “I—Excuse me.”

  Then she stumbled out of the room, leaving him alone.

  Lucas shook his head as the paralyzing effect of Anastasia Whittig finally faded. But it was replaced by a strange emptiness now that she was no longer in the room, taunting him. Challenging him. Arousing him.

  What had just happened?

  He turned to look out the window and catch his breath. A better question was how could he keep it from ever happening again? Because such a powerful exchange could be nothing but dangerous in a
case like this. And the case was all that mattered.

  It had to be.

  Chapter 4

  A ball. How could she be going to a ball? Ana twisted her black handkerchief in her fist. The carriage rocked and she bumped against its wall.

  Peeling back the curtain, she watched the lights of the city roll by. They were getting close to the home their hostess, Lady Westfield, had taken when her husband passed away a few years before and her son ascended to the title. Moving closer to the moment Ana had been avoiding since Gilbert’s death.

  Oh, of course it was well past the appropriate time to come out in Society again. Gilbert had died five years before. But it still felt like a betrayal to go to a dance. After all, as he lay dying, she had known things would never be the same for her again, and so she had preserved her life just as it was that horrible day. She had worn black and never taken it off. She had sequestered herself away. For the first few years it had been out of pure heartache. Her husband’s death had left a hole in her very soul, and she felt no desire to fill it with the frivolity of Society, which had never given her much pleasure.

  And now? Emily and Meredith often said she used her mourning to hide. She denied it, but she wasn’t so certain that her friends were not correct in that assessment. Gilbert had always been the one to guide her into a room, to ease her natural nervousness around people whom she didn’t know. With him, she had felt safe. Her life had been defined. She was Gilbert Whittig’s wife.

  Without him, she wasn’t sure how she was defined or how she would manage. She certainly couldn’t rely on Lucas Tyler to be her support. If she faltered tonight, he would be there to crow at her failure.

  He didn’t have faith in her abilities in the field…in any woman’s abilities. Just the previous afternoon, he’d called her sheltered and hesitant and a danger to their case and their very lives. She blushed as she remembered her impassioned reply and the look of utter disbelief that crossed his handsome face.

  Well, tonight was her first chance to prove him wrong.