Desire Never Dies

by Jenna Petersen

  She laid there for a moment as the entire scenario played through her mind. The facts were slowly sinking in. She had jumped across the building. She had cleared the gap.

  And Lucas, who had proven himself to be a talented spy again and again, hadn’t.

  She stifled a little giggle. Lucas lifted his head and stared at her.

  “Are you hysterical?” he asked, getting to his feet and brushing off his dusty trousers.

  She couldn’t help it, another laugh escaped her throat. She smacked her hand over her lips at the dark look he shot her. Clearly, he didn’t find the situation all that amazing.

  He offered her a hand, yanking her to her feet. He looked over her shoulder and let out a long string of curses, each saltier than the last. The last one actually made her blush.

  “He’s gone,” he spat, then turned away and kicked at a few pebbles on the rooftop viciously, sending them flying into the alley below.

  Her high emotion fled. “If he’s growing bolder, we’ll catch him.” She reached out and touched his arm. “We almost did today.”

  He spun around and caught her arms, pulling her against his chest. His eyes were stormy, but he seemed unable to speak. Finally, he let her go and looked around for a way down from the roof they were on.

  She stared at him. “Lucas?”

  He glared at her over his shoulder. “Just come with me.”

  He motioned to a drainage pipe along the side of the house they stood on. She watched as he swung around onto the pipe and motioned for her to get on his back. She opened her mouth to protest, but his sharp glare stopped her.

  With a ginger step, she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and clung tight while he eased his way down inch by inch. She could feel his tension in every muscle until they had their feet on solid ground.

  “Lucas?” she repeated, trying to catch his gaze.

  “Not now,” he growled as he snatched her hand and marched out of the alleyway. As they reached the street and started heading back to the carriage, she saw Charlie standing on the walkway in front of his house.

  He stared at the hole in his fence and their disheveled appearance. “What the hell happened?” he asked as he moved toward them.

  Lucas spun on him and his gaze hesitated on the bullet hole. His face twisted into a look as fierce as any Ana had ever seen. Her stomach flipped. He looked like a warrior. Her protector.

  “She was shot at, Isley, what do you think?”

  Charlie’s eyes widened, but before he could reply, Lucas threw open the carriage door and placed a hand on the small of her back. She stepped in at his insistence, and he followed, slamming the door behind them and pounding on the wall.

  The carriage rocked into motion and Ana watched him. This was definitely not the man she was used to. No smile. Not even a hint of one. And his eyes were so intense, so expressive in their fierce emotion that she couldn’t help but stare.

  Her pulse was raging, and not from leftover adrenaline or excitement of the chase. Not from lingering pride that she had vaulted over the gap in the buildings when Lucas could not.

  This excitement was housed lower in her belly. An ache she recognized and was shocked could happen with just one glance from Lucas. She wanted him. Despite his clear upset and anger and frustration.

  “Lucas,” she began, fighting the want and trying to maintain some distance.

  He held up a hand. “He almost killed you, Ana. If his bullet had hit a few inches to the left, he would have found his mark.”

  She shivered. “Of course I realize that, but—”

  “But nothing.” He moved over to her side of the carriage and suddenly his hands were on her. His fingers smoothed across her arms, her back. “Do you know what that felt like, Ana? Do you know the thoughts that ran through my head when that bullet rushed past you?”

  His face was so close to hers, his eyes just inches from her own. In them she saw everything. His fear. His desire. His anger…but at himself for feeling what he felt. All those things were hers and hers alone. Her heart melted.

  “Lucas,” she whispered, cupping his cheeks. “I wasn’t hit. I wasn’t harmed.”

  “By the grace of God, that is true.” He put his arms around her and pulled her closer, into his lap. “But I need to feel that you’re whole.”

  She realized his hands were shaking as he cupped her neck and drew her lips down on his. His whole body was shaking, though his kiss was as strong and powerful as ever. She clenched her fists against his shoulders, holding him against her with all her might, letting him feel that she was unharmed. Letting him feel how powerfully his fear touched her. It made apparent the fact that he cared for her in some way and that knowledge rocked her to her very core.

  Lucas sucked in a breath as he broke the kiss and looked up into Ana’s beautiful face. She smiled, soft. Not like the magnificent blaze that lit her face when she cleared the rooftop and finally realized just how strong she really was. This was something else. Something comforting.

  And it was just for him. Just as the way she leaned down and gently brushed her lips back and forth against his was just for him. It was comfort. It was pleasure.

  It touched him to his very soul and a powerful realization struck him like a lightning bolt. He loved her.

  There it was. The truth revealed to him by fear. No. Not fear. Terror. Watching that bullet tear a hole in the fence, a hole that was meant to be ripped through his wife, was terrifying. He wanted to hold her like this forever. Keep her safe.

  Instead he pushed away all his reactions and the internal arguments against the fact that he loved her and surrendered to the comfort she offered. The peace that flowed over him as she threaded her fingers through his hair. And the desire that pumped into his system when she shifted on his lap to straddle him.

  He pulled her mouth down and kissed her again, this time without gentleness. He just wanted to feel her and taste her…own her. Love her. Every time he allowed that thought to enter his mind, it seemed more right. More true.

  He embraced that feeling. Let it fill him up in places he hadn’t realized were empty.

  Ana’s hands were moving now, her breath harsh as she placed a hand between their bodies and rubbed his erection to full hardness. He groaned at how easily she could unman him, make him forget everything except how much he wanted to bury himself inside her warm and welcoming heat.

  He shoved at her dress, pulling at layers of fabric while she fumbled with the buttons that kept her from touching him. His erection sprung free, and she stroked him from base to head, once, twice.

  His head lolled back, his hands loosening their hold on her as blinding pleasure rushed through him. His hips lifted, filling her hand as he sucked in his breath. She smiled, this time sly and with full knowledge of the power she had over him.

  “I am whole, Lucas,” she whispered, her warm breath brushing against his ear. She pressed a hot kiss against his neck. “And I’m yours.”

  He caught that promise with his mouth and kissed her so hard and hot that his head spun. His fingers found her gown again and he lifted it, finally removing the barrier between his bare skin and her waiting body. She lifted up, positioning herself above him and then began a slow descent, wrapping her wet heat around him with painful slowness.

  He couldn’t wait for her torture, lifting his hips until he surged into her fully in one hard stroke. Ana wailed out pleasure, her body contracting as it welcomed him, gushed heated desire over him. She clung to his shoulders, riding him with jerky movements.

  Lucas dug his fingers into her hips, controlling the rolling movements, guiding her to move slower, to smooth her strokes. Her eyes fluttered shut and he looked up into her face. Her pleasure was reflected in every twitch of her muscles, every sigh that escaped her parted lips.

  “Let go,” he whispered through clenched teeth. “Let go, Ana. Give yourself to me.”

  Her eyes opened, revealing the warm depths of brown heaven. In them he saw emotions. Tangled. Hopefu
l. But not fully surrendered yet.

  “Yes,” she moaned just before her spine stiffened and she arched against him with a few hard thrusts. Her body clenched at his, stroking him with the tremors of her pleasure. Whatever control he had been exercising spun out of his reach. His blood moved, his body shivered, and he clutched her against him, growling out her name as he poured everything he was deep into her womb.

  Ana’s breath came short as she gently dropped her forehead to rest against his. They sat like that for a long moment until their ragged breathing finally slowed, matched. Then she pressed a soft kiss against his temple and lifted away from him. When their bodies separated, Lucas stifled a groan of displeasure. He felt so empty when she wasn’t near.

  That niggling reminder that he loved her buzzed in his ear, but he pushed it aside. Nothing had changed between them just because he realized his heart. As he watched Ana slip to the opposite side of the carriage and fix herself, he knew that to be true. Today’s events proved that they were still battling for position in this case. She still suspected Henry of wrongdoing.

  And beyond that, he had seen her at her late husband’s grave. Even now, during this powerful and emotionally charged encounter, she hadn’t been ready to give her heart completely. She was much more open with her body since their marriage, yes, and that gave him wild and powerful hope that one day she could offer more.

  But until they solved this case, Lucas couldn’t take the time to woo her properly. To win that heart that she kept buried. He could only please her body and hope it was enough to keep her bound to him until he could do more.

  But when this was over, he would have her as his wife in every way. He would win her love.

  As the coach slowed, he quickly refastened his trousers and smoothed his wrinkled clothes. Their eyes met, and Ana smiled, but the ever-constant wariness was there in her stare.

  “We have much to talk about,” he said, forcing himself back in investigative mode. “I think we each have a lot to say about what happened today.”

  She nodded slowly. “Yes, we do.”

  The carriage stopped and in less than a minute, the footman opened the door. Lucas sighed. “Then we will go inside, have some tea, and do just that.”

  Something had changed. Ana looked at Lucas across the room, sitting by the fire, a cup of tea in his hand. There was something different between them now.

  On their wedding night, she had given her body to him fully. But today, in that intense, emotional coupling in the carriage, she felt him give himself. Something much deeper than merely his body.

  Something that terrified her. Thrilled her. And the thrill was starting to outweigh the fear.

  “We can look at each other all afternoon,” Lucas said before he took a sip of tea. “Which I am not opposed to. Or we can discuss the subject that is hanging in the air between us. This case. And our differences of opinion regarding it.”

  She shoved her emotional response aside. There would be time to analyze that later. At least, she hoped there would be. She, of all people, knew how fragile life could be, and even more so when so much danger surrounded her and Lucas at every turn.

  With a shiver at that thought, she struggled to find her anger again. The disappointment and hurt she’d felt when she heard he went to the scene of Sansbury’s murder without her.

  It returned without any difficulty.

  “Why didn’t you wake me before you left this morning?” she asked, folding her arms. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out that Sansbury was dead or that you had gone to the scene of the crime without me?”

  His face changed, twisted with guilt, but also memory. “I had to go alone, Ana.”

  “But why? Did you think I couldn’t handle the horror? Did you think I wasn’t strong enough?” She held her breath as she awaited his reply.

  He set his cup away. “Your strength had nothing to do with it. It had to do with mine. I had to go alone, I had to see—”

  He broke off and his mouth twisted with anguish. She’d never seen his pain reflected so clearly before.

  “See what?” she whispered as she crossed the room to him.

  He got to his feet and paced away. “I had to see if there was evidence implicated Henry.”

  “And was there?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I doubted him. By searching for evidence there, I proved that I have lost faith in him.”

  She winced. God, what he would feel when he heard what she had found out. She loathed telling him, breaking his trust in Henry further. Instead, she put it off a bit longer.

  “Lucas, we are partners. Whether you like it or not, Sansbury’s murder was as much my business as it was yours. You should have taken me.”

  He stared at her for a moment, his gaze unreadable. Then he nodded. “You are right, of course. I apologize, Ana. It was wrong of me.”

  She staggered back a step. He was admitting his wrongdoing? He was telling her he wouldn’t shut her out again? Had the world shifted on its axis in the night and she didn’t know?

  Then he arched a brow. “And would you admit that you should not have gone to Isley’s home today alone?”

  “I go to Charlie’s home regularly, and he visits me,” she argued.

  “But were you discussing the weather, my dear?” Lucas set his tea cup down. “Or perhaps it was this case.”

  She ducked her head as his question sunk in. It was really a statement more than a query. A reminder that while she was up in arms about being shut out, she had done the exact same thing. Going to Charlie, working through the papers that were still in the little bag beside the door, doing those things without giving Lucas the choice of joining her was no better.

  And just like her, he deserved to know the truth. No matter how much it pained him.

  “We were talking about this case,” she admitted as blood rushed hot to her cheeks. “I was wrong to go there without you. And I’ve been wrong to investigate Henry behind your back.”

  Lucas stood stiff, his face a mask of unreadable emotion. No. It wasn’t unreadable. It was pain. It was anger. It was disbelief…but that disbelief was starting to waver, revealing fear. Fear that she was right.

  “Did you uncover new evidence?” Lucas asked.

  She nodded slowly. “I did. And I would like to share it with you now if you’ll hear it.” She reached out and touched his hand and was relieved when he didn’t yank back. “Lucas, it’s time we put our differences aside and really work together.”

  He nodded. “Show me what you’ve found Ana. No matter what, I want to know.”

  Chapter 23

  L ucas stared at the evidence Ana had collected against his best friend. A man he considered as much a brother as Peter or Martin or his sisters’ husbands. There was so much. It was so damning.

  And Lucas hadn’t known about any of it until that moment. Oh, there had been whisperings of internal investigations against spies. He and Henry had even discussed them, wondering who it was who had been accused of stealing from a case, of tampering with evidence.

  And all along it had been his friend. Henry had lied to him over and over about his whereabouts and his associations.

  Lucas set the last report aside and rubbed his eyes. His first instinct was to deny these things. He wanted to push them away and pretend he didn’t now know that his friend had so many dark secrets. But he couldn’t. Those were his emotions talking.

  He couldn’t ignore the truth. Perhaps Henry wasn’t involved in the attacks on the spies. After all, he had been attacked, as well. That was the missing piece of this puzzle. But his friend had kept things from him. He’d lied.

  And that didn’t bode well.

  He hated the doubt, the questions, but he had to look deeper now. Because he couldn’t ignore Ana’s evidence or her instincts.

  Getting to his feet, Lucas looked around the room. They had relocated to Ana’s chamber, the one attached to his by a lone sitting room. In just a day, she had already begun to transform it into a new la
boratory. A new place for her to break codes and invent things.

  Which meant she was making it a home for herself. And that warmed him. Despite everything, that pleasant emotion could wiggle its way through the despair.

  “I’m so sorry, Lucas.” She stood up from the chair where she had been quietly watching him read over the proof she had gathered. “I swear to you, I would rather bleed than cause you such pain and doubt. But I cannot ignore what I’ve found.”

  He nodded, reaching out to cup her cheek. Just touching her gave him a little relief. “Nor can I, Ana.”

  Her face softened. She’d been ready for him to argue, to deny her abilities, yet again. But he couldn’t do that anymore.

  “I need to go to the War Department,” he said, shocked by how his voice rasped with emotion. “I need to speak to some of our superiors about these charges against Henry. And I need to access some files from his office there.”

  She immediately turned toward her armoire. “I’ll come with you.”

  “No!” Lucas said the word much louder than he had intended. She winced as she spun back to face him, pain and disbelief reflected on her face.

  “Lucas, we promised to work together, we promised—”

  He caught her hands, gave them a brief squeeze, then let her go. “I know. But if you come with me, we’ll lose time with explanations. Some of these men won’t speak in front of you when they realize who and what you are. And if Henry is there…” He sighed. “If Henry is there and all that you believe about him is true, it will rouse his suspicions. I need you to stay here and work on that coded letter Isley uncovered. Please, Ana.”

  She looked up into his face and he saw she understood. She felt his pain and recognized his desire to prove all these accusations wrong. And she also saw that he was beginning to realize they might not be disproved.