Mary, Mary

by Lesley Crewe

  Peggy shovelled orange pasta into her mouth. “I wonder how much weight I’ll gain in six weeks.”

  “You can’t gain an ounce! You have to look good for my wedding pictures.”

  “Yeah, well, that ship has sailed.”

  Daniel and Amber moved into the apartment upstairs. Daniel always had a big smile for Mary when he happened to run into her and they would chat for a few moments before parting ways, but Amber always looked like she’d swallowed a lemon. Mary made it her mission to be as nice as pie, just to bug her.

  Unfortunately, an unforeseen problem revealed itself early on. Amber would start yelling at Daniel in the evening and Daniel would play his electric guitar to drown her out. Then Carole and Gran would throw daggers at Mary.

  “How was I supposed to know he played guitar? Anyway, you never said anything about musicians, only drug dealers and holy rollers. Next time, you pick the tenant.”

  “Go upstairs and tell him to knock it off.”

  “No. You own this place. Tell him yourself.”

  Gran took a sip of her ginny tea. “Mary likes this kid.”

  “I do not! Stop bugging me.” Mary left the room.

  “I rest my case.”

  Carole got up off the couch and went upstairs. She rang the doorbell, but resorted to pounding on the door when no one answered. Eventually, Amber opened it. “What?”

  “I’m the landlord of your dumpy apartment.”

  “I know who you are.”

  “Tell your boyfriend to unplug his guitar at night. We can’t hear ourselves think.”

  “Is that all?”

  “A word of advice: stop yelling at him, or he won’t be your boyfriend for long.”

  “Get lost.” She slammed the door in Carole’s face.

  “Nice talking to you.” Carole went back into the living room and sank into a chair. “People today have no manners.”

  One week after her fall, Peggy finally consented to speak to Ted again. It took her that long to calm down and stop irrationally blaming him for the accident. Secretly, she still harboured resentment about the “Teddy” issue, but since Sheena thought she was being ridiculous, she decided not to pursue it.

  Ted’s face filled the screen of Peggy’s laptop. “So where do things stand now?”

  Sheena sat beside her mother on the bed. “We’re having the wedding here at the house because no one in this stupid city ever calls you back.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “The minute you say you want something done immediately, they give up. It’s ridiculous.”

  “Have you been shouting at them?”

  “No!” Sheena shouted.

  “How are you going to have it at the house?”

  “I finally found a caterer who’s willing to make appetizers and trays of baked hors d’oeuvres,” Peggy said. “They’ll come in and prepare everything.”

  “Well, that makes sense. How many do you think are coming?”

  “Oh, who knows!” Sheena said, exasperated. “I had to send out emails, for God’s sake. So much for my engraved invitations! And naturally, no one emails me back. How long does it take to press send? I don’t care if anyone comes. I’m going to look like a nightmare anyway, because I can’t find a dress, you’re stuck in some godforsaken land, and Mom has an ugly cast on her arm. There’s not enough chiffon in the world to cover that up.”

  Sheena jumped off the bed and hurried out of the room.

  Peggy looked at Ted’s dismayed face. “She’s not having a good day. She quit her job last week and Drew has been too busy to be of much use. On top of that, hanging around here taking care of me is driving her nuts.”

  “Are you feeling any better?”

  “I guess so. I’m not downing as many painkillers, but then again, I am drinking more wine. And I’ve gained about ten pounds eating Kraft Dinner.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Just make sure you’re on Skype during the wedding ceremony. I don’t want you to miss it.”

  “I don’t want to miss it either. What will you do when they leave for Halifax? Will you be okay by yourself?”

  “How should I know? I might jump out the upstairs window into the pool below. If you don’t hear from me, you can assume the worst.”

  “Peggy….”

  “Look, Ted, there’s no point in asking me what I’m going to do. I’ve never been in this position. I’ve never been alone before. Maybe I’ll love it. Maybe you can spend the rest of your life over there being happy and fulfilled. I have to go.”

  “Go where?”

  “I have to roll over to your side of the bed to keep it warm.”

  “I’ll call you in a couple of days. Take care of yourself.”

  “Will do.”

  Peggy closed the laptop and realized neither one of them had said “I love you.”

  Carole and Ethel sat at their kitchen window and watched in amusement as Mary and Daniel ran into each other in the driveway on their way to work. Carole noticed Mary was spending a little extra time to on her appearance in the morning. She had even borrowed some mousse from Carole’s salon, something she’d never done before.

  Carole puffed on her cigarette as she gazed at the pair. “I wonder what he does for a living?”

  “Who cares what he does? If she likes him, she likes him. It’s not like you were choosy.”

  Carole took a swig of tea. “I cannot make one lousy comment without you insulting me. Do you really hate me that much?”

  Ethel put more sugar in her mug. “I don’t hate you. You’re my kid. I’m lucky to have you.”

  Carole froze. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me. I love you. I love your sister and I love my granddaughters.”

  “Ma, are you feeling okay?”

  “Goddammit, Carole. No wonder I never say anything.”

  “Sorry.”

  The phone rang and Carole reached for it. “It’s probably Peggy…Hello?”

  “Can you come over here and shoot me?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Sheena can’t find a wedding dress and she’s freaking out. She wants to go to Halifax to look for one.”

  “So let her go.”

  “I have to go with her! I’m not missing this quintessential mother-daughter bonding moment.”

  “You shouldn’t sit in a car for that long.”

  “Can you come with us? In case I need anything?”

  Carole put her hand over the receiver. “She wants us to go to Halifax with them to pick out a wedding dress.”

  Ethel shook her head. “She’s nuts.”

  “Okay, we can go.”

  “We?” Peggy hissed. “I just want you, not Ma!”

  “Ma loves you, Peggy. She’d want to be included.”

  Ethel waved her hands in front of her face. “No thanks. Leave me out of it.”

  “The more the merrier. I’ll ask Mary if she’d like to come too.”

  “Anyone else you can think of?” said Peggy acidly. “I have to go.”

  Carole hung up. “There. A nice little family road trip. We should do this more often.”

  “I’ll never tell you I love you again. It’s addled your brain.”

  Her mother’s declaration had given Carole an unexpected jolt of joie de vivre. She was so used to bickering that she forgot the times they did actually have fun together. At least her mother was a constant in her life, as irritating as she might be.

  Carole had laid in bed the other night and felt sorry for Peggy, what with her husband swanning off and her daughter leaving the nest. She didn’t think Peggy would handle it very well, and wondered if she would slide into a depression. Carole prided herself in handling whatever came her way without the use of pills. She was also smug about
the fact that Mary had turned out to be a sweet and generous girl and not a whiny brat like her niece. Still, it wasn’t Sheena’s fault her parents spoiled her, and Carole was genuinely happy for her and Drew.

  When Mary heard she was expected to go, the first thing she thought of was Roscoe.

  “Who will take care of him?”

  Her mother made a face. “He’s a cat. Leave him a bunch of food and he’ll be fine.”

  “Is that what you did with me?”

  “As a matter of fact, yes. Ask the cutie pie upstairs to look in on him,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “I have no doubt he’ll agree.”

  It annoyed Mary that her mother had had a good idea. She asked Daniel that night and he said he’d be happy to.

  Roscoe was so lucky.

  Carole drove Peggy’s Lexus, with Peggy in the front seat, Ethel in the middle, and the girls in the back row. Glancing in the rear-view mirror, Carole saw only grumpy faces.

  “This is supposed to be a fun trip! You all look like you’re about to be executed. Sheena, aren’t we picking up Riley?”

  “She backed out at the last minute when she found out old people were coming.

  “You could’ve left that bit out,” Gran shouted. “Remind me to spit on her.”

  “I don’t even care anymore. It’s all a disaster.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Mary said.

  Sheena gave her the finger. Mary grabbed it, which made Sheena screech.

  “That’s enough, you two!” Carole yelled.

  When they reached the causeway, they filled up at the Petro-Can and stopped for a coffee at Tim’s. Mary was in charge of escorting Gran, and Sheena dragged a slumped-over Peggy, who manoeuvred her bulk into the accessible bathroom stall with much groaning.

  “I told you we shouldn’t have come,” Carole said to her sister.

  “Just pass me another painkiller.”

  Gran couldn’t decide what kind of doughnut she wanted and held the whole line up. Carole finally bought a box of twelve to take in the car. It took them a half an hour to get settled back in their seats, with hot coffee being passed around gingerly. Gran eventually picked a doughnut with sprinkles on it and most of them ended up in her dentures.

  “Gran,” Sheena said, “let me take a selfie with you!” She reached over the seat and stuck the camera in her grandmother’s face. “Say cheese!”

  When she showed the picture to Mary, the two of them had hysterics in the back.

  “What’s so funny?” Carole wanted to know.

  “Gran looks like a sprinkly Cheshire cat!” They passed up the phone so everyone could have a peek. All five of them giggled for a couple of kilometres.

  They stopped laughing when they got to Mount Thom. The snow that had been falling gently for a few hours suddenly decided to switch gears, and now the white stuff was accumulating at a great rate. It didn’t help that no other cars seemed to be slowing down any and huge trucks were passing them at a clip.

  “This wasn’t such a good idea,” said Ethel. “Tell me again why you couldn’t buy a dress in Sydney?”

  “I tried them all. They looked awful.”

  “No one panic. We’ll get to the hotel and have a good sleep and then start early tomorrow morning,” Peggy said.

  “What if she doesn’t find anything?” Mary asked.

  “I’ll elope.”

  “If you elope, I’m rewriting my will. I’ll leave everything to Mary.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Peggy.”

  Several tense hours later, they made it to Halifax and booked into the Prince George Hotel (Peggy’s choice). Making Ted pay for it felt good. They had two adjoining rooms, which made it feel like a sleepover. Mary and Sheena decided to go out for a bite and the other three ordered room service.

  By the time Mary and Sheena got back to the room, their mothers and grandmother were half in the bag thanks to the minibar. Not only that, they had the porn channel on, and were pointing at the television and killing themselves with laughter.

  “Okay, this is disgusting,” Sheena said.

  “Nonsense!” said her mother. “You think your generation invented sex? Don’t be such a prude.”

  “Go to bed! I don’t need three hungover relatives with me tomorrow.”

  Amazingly, the three women did as they did as they were told. Trouble was, no one got any sleep because the combination of drugs and liquor made Peggy snore like a chainsaw all night. They all mentioned it in the morning.

  “Maybe you should go and see if you have sleep apnea,” Mary said. “Do you find you’re tired all the time?”

  “Of course I’m tired, but I have a lot on my plate at the moment.”

  “You have been getting worse, Mom,” Sheena agreed. “I have to leave my television on all night just to drown you out. Maybe that’s why Dad left.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart. You know just what to say.”

  After breakfast at the hotel, Sheena informed the group she had made appointments in four shops around Halifax and Dartmouth: Chester & Felicity, Always & Forever, Karma Bridal, and David’s Bridal.

  “I thought we were only going to one store,” Peggy said. She frowned. “How long is this going to take?”

  “Mother, what’s the point of coming all this way if I can’t sample everything?”

  “Maybe you’ll love the first one you try on,” Mary said hopefully.

  “Not a chance,” Ethel muttered.

  Ethel was right. They spent almost two hours in each store, Peggy shifting her weight on all the chairs and ottomans, trying to get comfortable while Sheena was in the dressing room.

  Every dress looked lovely on her. Sheena was a beautiful woman with a knockout figure, so everything suited her. It made things rather difficult, because the minute they decided they liked one, she’d come out in something else and they’d have to start over. Mary had more fun than she’d anticipated and even wandered off to look at bridesmaid dresses.

  There was one gown Sheena loved, but it had a see-through corset on top and Peggy nixed it immediately.

  “It looks like you bought it at Victoria’s Secret,” she said. “It belongs in the bedroom. No way are you wearing that.”

  “Mother!”

  “I don’t care. Take it off.”

  They eventually headed over to David’s Bridal in Dartmouth. Ethel decided she was going to take a nap in the car.

  “Don’t you want to see me pick my dress, Gran?”

  “I liked the first fifty you tried on, so why don’t you surprise me?”

  A young and perky salesgirl named Kelsey took one look at Sheena and said, “You look like a ball gown bride to me.”

  Sheena’s eyes lit up. “I do? How did you know?”

  “I’m good at my job. Let me get you the one I’m thinking of.”

  The minute Sheena walked out in the dress and she saw her reflection, her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. The dress made her look like Cinderella, with its sweetheart neckline and bodice covered with bling. Everyone made noises of approval, even Mary, who knew the layered tulle skirt would be impossible to manoeuvre through Peggy’s living room. But that didn’t matter: this was obviously Sheena’s dress, come what may.

  As Sheena preened, Kelsey tucked a full-length veil into her hair with a comb. The veil had embroidered flower petals along the lower half, with crystals around the edging. As they stared with their mouths open, the intrepid Kelsey quickly appeared with a lacy zirconia necklace and dangling earring set, along with creamy satin high heels. “Let’s see the whole package!”

  For once in her life, Sheena was speechless as she gazed at her image in the mirror.

  Peggy blubbered as she struggled out of her chair to hug Sheena. It was mostly because of the pain, but she didn’t let on. “You are so beautiful, Sheena. Like a living doll. Oh, I wish
your father could see you.”

  “Me too,” Sheena whispered.

  Carole looked at Mary with misty eyes. “One day we’ll be doing this.”

  “No. I’m not getting married.”

  “You’ll change your mind.”

  “No. I won’t.”

  “Honestly. You could pretend for just a moment. I never had a wedding dress….”

  That was the moment Peggy cleared her throat. “What’s the total for all this?”

  Kesley took out a calculator. “Thirty-five hundred for the dress, nine hundred for the veil, a hundred for the jewellery, and three hundred for the shoes. That’s forty-eight hundred dollars, plus tax.”

  Sheena gave her mother a worried look.

  “We’ll take it,” Peggy said.

  Sheena jumped into her mother’s arms, which made her wince in pain. Carole tsked about the ridiculous amount of money being spent, while Mary smiled, thinking that this was the happiest Mary had ever seen Sheena. The wedding was a hurried mess, so she was glad her cousin would at least have this.

  They woke poor Gran trying to get the puffy garment bag into the empty seat next to her.

  “What the hell did you buy?” She swatted the plastic back with her hands as it threatened to swallow her face.

  “Only the most beautiful gown in the world!” Sheena grinned. “You should see it.”

  “Can’t wait.” Gran grimaced. “Can we go home now? My ass is numb.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The weeks were flying by, all of them fraught and stressful. The closer the wedding got, the more unglued Peggy became. Every morning she woke up and immediately wanted to close her eyes again. Her bedroom was a disaster. She was lucky Sheena had agreed to do the laundry, but the piles of clothes heaped on the bed and dressers made her feel trapped. The thought of hiring a housekeeper crossed her mind, but she didn’t want anyone to see how bad things had become.

  Carole had said they’d help her but realistically, she had to work and Ethel was useless. Mary came over occasionally but she, too, was busy with her own life. It made Peggy realize how few friends she had. When had that happened? She was so busy with her own little brood, she never included anyone into the fold, and as a result, she had no one who would call her and ask her to lunch or a movie.