Mary, Mary

by Lesley Crewe

  “Don’t need them.”

  “What about a sweater?”

  “Got one. The trouble with this generation is that they think they need a hundred times more than they do. You can only wear one sweater at a time. It’s a waste. Everyone is greedy these days. My mother had two dresses: one for working in and one to go to church. End of story. Did that stop her from being happy?”

  “It must have. You always said your mother was a jerk.”

  “Stop changing the subject.”

  They eventually arrived at La Senza. Sheena and Riley were nattering at the back of the store while Riley fiddled with the hangers, pretending she was working. Ethel wandered over to the tray of thongs and picked one up.

  “Might as well put a string of dental floss up your bum.”

  “The bras are pretty,” Peggy said.

  “How would these tissue-paper-thin bits of lace hold up two sacks of flesh weighing five pounds each? Only the exceptionally deluded would buy this shit.”

  Sheena and Riley saw them and walked over to the counter, Sheena carrying a handful of bras. “I have to buy these.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Henderson. You must miss Sheena a lot. I know I do.” Riley entered the codes into the cash register.

  “I certainly do miss her. And having you running in and out of the house.”

  Riley rang up Sheena’s bras, and the girls said goodbye to each other. Ethel, Peggy, and Sheena continued on their way, stopping at Indigo.

  “Hey Mom,” said Sheena, “you know what they say is really relaxing? Adult colouring books. Why don’t you buy some?”

  “I heard about that. Let’s take a look.”

  Ethel wasn’t interested. “I’m going up to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate shop.”

  “Oh, Mom, don’t buy a ton of chocolate; I’m on a diet.”

  “Who said you were getting any?”

  Ethel wandered up to the store and stood in front of the shelves filled with sweets. She’d heard chocolate could kill dogs. She picked up a big box and brought it over to the counter.

  “I’ll take this.”

  Once it was wrapped up, Ethel tucked it under her arm and went out the mall door. She made her way over to the bus stop and waited for the bus to George Street.

  Peggy and Sheena took a lot longer than they realized picking out their colouring books and coloured pencils. Sheena bought Animal Kingdom and Peggy chose Secret Garden.

  “This will help me pass the time when Mom starts ranting about my useless TV remote,” Peggy laughed. “Anything to keep calm. Honestly, I don’t know how Carole didn’t strangle her years ago.”

  They walked up the mall side by side.

  “Poor Gran. She hasn’t had a very happy life, has she?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t say it was totally unhappy,” reasoned Peggy. “There were lots of times when we laughed about silly things. She used to embarrass us horribly when we were kids, always dressing up for Halloween and scaring the pants off little kids in the rose bushes. She loved that. And then there was the time she hauled off and hit a guy who rammed into our car bumper. She jumped around in the street, yelling, ‘You nearly killed my kids, you fat asshole!’ Carole made me crouch down in the seat in case the guy came after us. And then there was the time she took us to the movies and let us buy theatre popcorn. That was a huge treat. You’d think Carole and I had won the lottery, we were so excited. No, it wasn’t all bad.”

  They arrived at the chocolate shop and didn’t see Gran, so they assumed she was wandering around somewhere close by. Five minutes of looking turned into ten, ten to fifteen, and now they were a bit concerned. Sheena and Peggy hurried back to the chocolate store and confirmed with the salesgirl that yes, an elderly lady had bought a big box of chocolates.

  As they continued to race up and down the mall, Peggy panicked. “Carole is going to kill me! She never once lost Mom.”

  “She couldn’t have gone far,” Sheena panted. “Let’s look in the washrooms.”

  They looked in every bathroom stall and hollered her name, but no one answered.

  “Goddammit!” Peggy fretted. “I’m calling Carole.”

  Carole could not believe how much her life had changed in a week. She was busy from dawn till dusk but had never been happier. Billy, the big black Newfoundland dog, was as gentle as a bear, and he insisted on sleeping in Carole’s bed because, as she soon learned, he was afraid of the dark. Will and Liam, the Chihuahuas, went everywhere Billy went, so they made themselves at home on Carole’s bed too.

  Surprisingly, her customers loved the boys. They held the two little ones when they were in the chair, and Billy lay beside Carole like a fluffy rug. She just stepped over him instead of on him.

  The first time she took them for a walk together, they pulled her down the street at such a clip that she almost passed out, she was so winded. And then when she sat down to a cup of tea and a cigarette, the minute she lit it up, the three of them gave her hangdog looks and wrinkled their noses at the smell of the smoke. Liam even coughed.

  She quit smoking there and then.

  Her evenings were now spent brushing Billy, and the fur she pulled out of that dog was not fit. She found it relaxing, sitting on the floor with that big lug stretched out, clearly loving the feeling of the brush. Maybe she should get into dog grooming? The idea excited her. Imagine being able to do hair and not have clients talk your face off or bitch and complain about everything under the sun.

  What would she call her new business? Pooch Palace? Mutt Central? Doggy Style? Well, maybe not the last one.

  She went to bed every night looking forward to getting up. She’d meet Daniel and Mary going off to work in the morning. They would pet the dogs and make a fuss over them, but Roscoe kept clear. He’d sit on the roof of the shed out back, watching the proceedings with a healthy skepticism.

  Before Mary got in the car one morning she commented on her mother’s bright new outlook.

  “You seem really happy.”

  “I can’t begin to tell you what a difference it’s made to have three sane beings in the house with me. They give off a positive and loving energy, unlike the Toxic Wonder.”

  “Mom, don’t be mean. Gran isn’t all bad.”

  “She isn’t all good either. Did you know I quit smoking? I think Liam is allergic to it.”

  Mary stamped her foot. “Say that again.”

  “I think Liam is allergic to smoke.”

  “I’ve had to use puffers all my life because of your smoking!”

  “Sorry. Let’s go, boys.”

  She and her boys ambled up the street and out of sight. Mary watched them go, then she turned to Roscoe. “Have you ever felt like killing someone?”

  Gran enjoyed the freedom of the bus ride. She hadn’t been by herself in a long time. It was fun to watch the neighbourhoods go by, remembering old friends and how they would meet at Ashby Corner and get into all sorts of trouble. She wondered where they were now. None of them had been any good at keeping in touch. Ethel didn’t realize until now how she’d isolated herself her whole life. Would her friends know she ended up being a drunk? Probably. Dotty and her Dairy never missed a trick.

  It was too late to worry about it now. She was too old to remedy anything and would no doubt die with lots of regrets. So be it. Let someone else try to frantically repair their ways before their time was up. Ethel didn’t think God would care one way or the other. Human beings were so good at punishing themselves, why would he bother?

  She got off the bus on Dorchester Street and walked down George Street towards the old house. She stopped at Dotty’s to buy pink peppermints since Peggy and Sheena had lied about getting some for her. There was a young man with a pimply face behind the counter.

  Ethel dropped her peppermints in front of him. “Where’s Dotty?”

  “She’s dead.”

/>   Ethel felt her heart shudder. “What? When did that happen?”

  “Just a couple of days ago. Her funeral was this afternoon at Forest Haven.”

  Ethel paid for the peppermints and walked out of the store in a daze. Dotty was about the closest thing she had to a friend. And there Ethel was, living over in Coxheath, blissfully unaware of this tragic event. She should’ve been here. She should’ve gone to the funeral. Instead she was waltzing up and down the damn mall watching her idiot daughter and granddaughter buy shit they didn’t need.

  Ethel looked at her house and knew it wasn’t Carole’s fault she wasn’t living there any more. It was her own fault. She was the one who’d packed her bags and said she was moving in with Peggy. If she hadn’t made that grand gesture, she’d still be home and she probably would’ve seen Dotty a few more times.

  She trudged back up to Dorchester Street and waited for another bus. Once it arrived, she sat in the back seat and opened the box of chocolates. She ate one after the other, not even tasting them. Dotty had loved chocolates. She’d eat them for her.

  Carole was doing a blow-dry when her client suddenly said, “Did you hear about Dotty?”

  “Next-door Dotty?”

  “Yes, she died two days ago. Her funeral was today at Forest Haven.”

  “Jesus Murphy! What happened? I can’t believe I didn’t know.”

  “They say it was heart failure.”

  “That poor woman. Gosh, the place isn’t going to be the same without her.”

  “That’s for sure. She was a real institution around here. I can remember her sitting on that stool when I was a kid.”

  Carole’s cell went off. She looked over her client’s shoulder and saw it was Peggy. “Do you mind if I take this? It’s my sister.”

  “Go ahead,” the woman said.

  “Hi. What do you want? You never call when I’m working.”

  “Mom is missing!”

  “What?” Carole stepped away from the chair and headed out into the kitchen. The boys followed her. “What do you mean, missing?”

  “Missing! As in missing-person posters! We took her to the mall and she went up to buy some chocolates and that’s the last we saw of her. We’ve scoured the mall. We were hoping she was with you.”

  “No, she didn’t come here. Of course, why would she? I practically banished her from the property. You don’t think she did something stupid, do you?”

  “She’s always doing something stupid,” Peggy yelled. “Why would now be any different?”

  “Call the police!”

  “We can’t. She would have to be missing for twenty-four hours.”

  “I think this is a little different. You had her at the mall and she disappeared. Maybe they’ll put out an Amber Alert. God, that reminds me of that horrible ex-girlfriend of Daniel’s.”

  “Call Mary! Perhaps Mom just went to Sobeys.”

  “How could she walk all the way to Sobeys?”

  “Maybe she took a taxi!”

  “Okay, I’ll call you back.”

  The client was now out of the chair. “Look, you clearly have a family emergency. My hair is dry anyway.” She passed Carole some money.

  “Oh, thank you!”

  “Is it Ethel?”

  Carole nodded, her eyes welling up.

  “I’m sure she’s fine,” soothed the customer. “She’ll be home before you know it.” She left with a small smile.

  “Yes, thanks.”

  Once the door closed, Carole called Sobeys. “I need to speak to my daughter, Mary Ryan.”

  “She’s on cash at the moment. Can you leave a message?”

  “No, I bloody well can’t leave a message! This is an emergency!”

  “Sorry. I’ll go get her.”

  While Carole waited, Billy nudged her tummy with his big head. “It’s okay, Billy. Don’t be scared.” She scratched behind his floppy ears.

  Mary sounded breathless. “What’s wrong?”

  “Is Gran with you?”

  “No! Why would she be here with me? I’m working.”

  “Peggy and Sheena had her at the mall this afternoon and they lost her! How do you lose an old cranky woman?”

  “Are you sure she’s not just wandering around the mall? Maybe they keep missing each other.”

  “They put it over the intercom, but she never showed up. Where would she be if she’s not with them or me or you? She has no one else.”

  “Should we call the police?”

  “Frig it. That’s what I’m going to do. Get home now!”

  Carole called Peggy back. “I’m calling the police. Get over here.”

  She was still on the phone with the police when Mary and then Peggy and Sheena showed up. Carole passed the phone to Peggy. They wanted to talk to her since she was the last one with Ethel. They sat around the kitchen table, with the dogs close by. They were as good as gold, obviously sensing something wasn’t right. At one point, Sheena even picked Will up and put him in her lap, and she always said she wasn’t a dog person.

  Peggy finally hung up and sat down with the others. “They said to stay here, because she will probably wander home. They have her description and they’ve alerted patrol cars to keep an eye out for her, but I don’t think they’re particularly worried.”

  “They don’t know her like we do,” Carole said. “She never goes anywhere. It’s not like she has a long list of friends.”

  The minute she said “friends,” Carole thought of something. “Did Ma know that Dotty died?”

  “Dotty who?” Peggy asked.

  “You mean Dotty’s Dairy Dotty?” Mary cried. “When was this?”

  “Two days ago, apparently. She and Ma always got along like a house on fire.”

  “How would she know?” Sheena said. “She’s been with us the whole time.”

  Carole snapped her fingers. “Maybe she ran into someone at the mall who told her.”

  Peggy shook her head. “Why does it matter?”

  “Because Dotty’s funeral was today at Forest Haven. I bet she’s there.”

  All four of them scrambled to their feet and jumped into Peggy’s Lexus. They drove as fast as they dared up Prince Street, then passed the Mayflower Mall and on down the Sydney–Glace Bay Highway. They turned into Forest Haven and drove all over the cemetery looking for a stubby, skinny-legged woman holding a box of chocolates.

  Sheena and Mary even put their back windows down and shouted her name as they drove. They couldn’t see anyone and were starting to despair when Mary pointed. “Is that someone on the ground?”

  “Where?”

  “Way up there! It looks like a bundle on the ground. Let me out!”

  They stopped the car and the four of them ran towards the rumpled shape, all of them shouting, “Gran! Mom! Ma!”

  It was her.

  “Is she dead?” Carole screamed. “Please, please tell me she’s not dead!”

  Mary knelt down and put her ear to her Gran’s mouth, and then felt for a pulse. “I think she’s breathing.”

  “Sheena! Call 911!” Peggy shouted. “Call 911!”

  There was a dark foam coming out of Ethel’s mouth.

  “Oh my God, she’s dying!”

  They took off their jackets and bundled her up as best they could. The sirens could be heard in the distance.

  “Stay with us, Ma!” urged Carole. “Don’t you dare leave me, or I’ll kill ya!”

  “I smell chocolate,” Sheena sniffed. Then she pointed to the ground. “Look, there’s an empty chocolate box on the ground. She was saying goodbye to Dotty.”

  “Hang on, Gran,” Mary whispered in her ear. “Hang on.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Gran was not supposed to live through the night. Her heart attack had been severe. Then she wasn’t suppose
d to make it through the week. She fooled them. The family was warned that the prognosis was not good and she could easily succumb within the month.

  Three full moons later it was August and she was still eating cheese and crackers in the hospital while they tried to find a bed in a nearby nursing home. She was a beloved character on the cardiac floor. The nurses humoured her and listened with rapt attention to her stories of drunken mischief. Ethel thrived on the attention. She hadn’t had this much fun in years. After a while she ran out of her own stories and made stuff up. She’d ask anyone who dropped by if they’d do her a favour and run to the liquor store for gin. Even the misery of detox wasn’t enough to quell her thirst for booze.

  Peggy, Carole, and Mary had a nice schedule worked out to visit her. Daniel would drop by on his lunch hour to bring her pink peppermints. Even Sheena would stop in now and again, since she always managed to find some excuse to come home. Drew, for the most part, was used to it. Sheena would get a look in her eye and before he knew it, she and her Jeep were gone.

  But she and Drew did buy a house that summer in the Hydrostone district of Halifax. It was pricey but both sets of parents helped them with a big down payment. Sheena had spent a frantic few weeks decorating, and her mother had made the trek down to help her with it. Drew had no say in the matter, but he was happy to let them choose. In his downtime he was involved with fantasy football and wrestling. Peggy took a page out of the book How to Be a Good Mother-in-Law and didn’t comment on how ridiculous wrestling was. He could be frequenting bars instead, so she left well enough alone.

  It was Mary whom Gran was always the happiest to see. The women who shared her room at different intervals loved Mary because she would make a point of going over to sit with them and ask them how they were. She’d inquire about their families and was interested to hear their stories. After Mary would leave, Gran would beam with pride as they told her what a special girl Mary was.

  “Oh, she’s a little honey. Always was. I haven’t the faintest idea where she came from; her mother is basket case.”