Azure (The Silver Series Book 5)

by Cheree Alsop

  I paused and Jaze nodded. “She’s a wonderful girl,” he said quietly.

  I agreed, but I shook my head. “But something happened at Lobotraz. I was at the point. . . .” It was hard to say what I needed to. I swallowed and continued, “At the point of giving up, but Gem pulled me through. I owe her my life, and she deserves to be happy.”

  “Do you love her?”

  I stopped walking and stared at Jaze. “What?”

  He faced me, his expression serious. “Do you love Gem?”

  I was about to give a flippant answer, but I owed him more; by the expression on his face, I knew he expected more from me as well. I rubbed my eyes with one hand in an effort to clear my thoughts. “Yes, but in a different way from Nora.”

  He nodded as if he had guessed as much. “You said you feel complete with Nora. Do you feel the same way with Gem?”

  I thought that I did. I pictured her hand in mine, the grime of Rob’s catacombs around us. I saw her blue eyes shine so brightly under the sun. I felt my lips on her for the brief second next to the car. I wanted to nod, to accept that she was what I wanted, that I should be with a werewolf instead of a human, but I owed it to both of us to be honest. I shook my head.

  “You know werewolves mate for life,” Jaze said. “And we don’t necessarily choose our mate; when she steps into your life, it feels like she was chosen before you ever met.”

  I nodded. I had felt the exact same when I saw Nora for the first time fighting for her life against the werewolves of Two. When her eyes met mine, something drove home so powerfully I protected her against every instinct in my body. “But she’s human,” I said.

  A touch of humor lit Jaze’s eyes. “It doesn’t have to make sense.”

  “But it should,” I replied before I could stop myself. In all of my studies, races survived on natural selection and survival of the fittest. My mother would scream if she knew how much I truly loved Nora. I came from a long line of werewolves with pure wolven blood. No human had ever tainted the family line. Shame filled me that I thought of it as such. Maybe I was just as blind as my parents.

  “You’ve met Nikki, right?” Jaze asked; his eyes narrowed slightly with his smile. I nodded, but when I didn’t say anything, he let out a breath. “I fell for her hard, harder than I wanted to admit. And believe me, it was not a pleasant time for a werewolf to be in love with a Hunter.”

  I watched him carefully, the way his eyes lit up when he talked of his girlfriend, the crease in his forehead when he told about the Hunters and the way they used to be. Sorrow shone in his gaze when he spoke of finding his father dead, killed by Hunters and his uncle in an attempt to wipe out the Alphas. “Uniting Hunters and werewolves was the hardest thing I ever did.” He frowned, then glanced at me. “I say that, but every time I open a cage or break down a door to find werewolves in the most inhumane conditions, uniting the Hunters and werewolves so we can work together was also the best thing I ever did.”

  “How did your mother feel about you falling for a human?” I asked.

  He smiled a patient smile and I realized another reason why so many looked up to him. He was never condescending or rude. He was patient, kind, and wanted everyone to be on the same page. His answer surprised me. “I forget you haven’t met my mother. She’s human.”

  I stared at him. “But you’re an Alpha.”

  He nodded. “A fluke of nature.” He grinned in a self-deprecating way. “Apparently someone figures I can make a difference even if it doesn’t make sense.”

  “The werewolves at Lobotraz called you the guardian of werewolves.”

  The look of surprise on his face quickly swept into another grin. “That sounds a bit much, don’t you think?”

  I shook my head. “Honestly? I think it fits. I’ve never met anyone who makes as much of a difference as you do.”

  He dropped his gaze to the red sand. “I can never do enough. No matter how many werewolves I save, there are others out there being tortured and killed just because they can phase into a wolf.” He glanced at me. “Having Nikki at my side makes it manageable. She helps me see that while I might not be able to save them all, I can try my best and it’ll make a difference to each werewolf my team gives a new life.”

  I ran a hand through my hair to push it back from my face and asked the question that had been burning through my mind since I met Nora. “Can you truly be complete with a human?”

  The smile he gave this time was heavy with experience. Sorrow and laughter warred in his eyes, and the honesty of his expression left no doubt in my mind. “Nikki is my night and day, my moon, my stars, and every driving force that keeps my lungs filling up with air and my heart beating to drive blood through my body so I can fight to make a difference. Without Nikki, I am not me.” He met my eyes. “Choose the girl who makes you more because you are with her. It doesn’t matter her race. All that matters is she does more than just completes you, she brings out who you truly are.”

  Chapter 19

  I paced my quarters that night, unable to sleep. Mom's crew had done their job. The new center was spotless and ready for habitation, and the werewolves and Hunters from Jaze’s team that helped out left without a word. Werewolves from Lobotraz took up the various rooms, each one full of as much good food as they could eat and sleeping in the luxuries of down comforters, thick robes, and soft cotton pajamas.

  The comforts that lulled them to sleep had the opposite effect on me. I couldn’t relax in the fine surroundings with the thought of Nora trapped in her father’s grasp. I felt pent up and caged, but nothing held me in except the fact that I had nowhere else to go. I paced the room so many times I wondered that there was no groove where my feet walked.

  The phone rang and I jumped for it. “Did you find her?” I couldn't keep the hope out of my voice.

  Mom took a breath. “I'm sorry, son, but there's word-”

  All of my emotions that had been roiling beneath the surface came to a head. “What good is money if it can't find her?” I yelled into the phone. I threw it across the room and it broke into pieces next to the open door.

  Gem watched me with lifted eyebrows from the doorway, her blue gaze barely fazed. “That's how you talk to your mother?”

  A pang of guilt ran through me. Gem had been looking for her own parents, and she hadn't given up hope that they were still searching for her, that it was only a matter of time until they found each other, and here I was acting ungrateful toward my own mother who was very much in touch and as parentally relieved that I was still alive as I could imagine her being.

  “Not usually,” I muttered, refusing to meet her eyes.

  Gem picked up the bigger pieces of the phone and came over to the couch. She sat down lightly and tucked her bare feet underneath her. She held out the pieces. “You need to apologize.”

  “The phone's broken,” I said stubbornly.

  She rolled her eyes and dumped the pieces into my lap. “Don't take the easy way out. You'll regret it.”

  I wanted to argue, but it took one look at her determined gaze, her petite arms striped with Rob's black lashes, her pixie cut rebellious pink hair, and her blue eyes much older than her sixteen years, and I couldn't help but remember her passing over the cup of water through silver bars and the faith she had that she would be rescued, a faith that had carried me when my own soul was lost. My heart leaped at her nearness and gratitude for all she had done filled my chest. I would have died if it wasn't for her care, and I couldn't argue with her now.

  “Fine.”

  “Great!” She jumped to her feet. “When are we leaving?”

  I eyed her suspiciously. “We?”

  She nodded. “I don't trust you to make a good apology by yourself. It sounds like you need help with these things, and I've got nothing else to do until my parents are found.”

  Her tone begged me not to leave her at the rehab center with the other broken werewolves. I sighed. It was the least I could do. “Fine.”

  She grinned
and led the way out the door. I was tempted to point out that it was almost midnight, but she was already halfway down the hall. I sighed again in exasperation and followed her. I wanted to forget my conversation with Jaze and just enjoy being with her. The energy that surrounded Gem made me feel younger, like the days we had survived together were only a dream. I laughed as she skipped down the hall, my tiny sprite full of fire.

  “Are you coming?” she asked when she reached the door. She gazed up at me, her blue eyes reflecting the light of the moon, and my breath caught in my throat. No matter what Jaze went through with Nikki, he hadn’t had to look on such a warm, carefree face and try to convince himself he wasn’t in love.

  ***

  “This is fancy,” Gem said, her eyes wide as I passed through the gate and drove down the tree-lined driveway to my parents' mansion.

  “Cold and lifeless in its own sort of way,” I said softly.

  She shot me a glance, but didn't comment. Her mouth fell open when a servant in a tuxedo came out to open the door.

  “Good to see you back, Master Vance,” James said. His brown hair was streaked with gray and blue eyes were now spectacled with fine lines at the corners.

  “Good to see you, too, James,” I replied. My chest had grown tighter with every foot down the driveway. It was hard to breathe past the knot in my throat at the familiar, aged faces of the servants who were once my only companions peering from the doorway. I swallowed and led the way up the eight white steps to the gilded front doors tall enough to allow entrance to an ogre.

  Pat met us at the door, pretending to hold it open with a white-gloved hand even though we both knew the lion's-claw door stopper really did the work. “Splendid to see you,” he said. His Irish accent was more faded than I remembered.

  “Thank you, same to you,” I said honestly. “I've missed everyone.”

  “We've missed you, sir,” Rosemary, the woman who had once been more of a mother to me than my own mom said with a sincerity that shone in her soft brown eyes. “It's so good to have you back. How long will you be staying?”

  “Just an hour or so.” The understanding and regret in her gaze ate at my heart, but I could barely stand to pass through the doorway, much less stay longer in the house than necessary.

  “Madam is through here,” Jerry said, leading the way. Light played off the top of his head that had once held hair, at least as far as my younger self remembered. His stature held dignity and grace, but his steps were slower and his shoulders bowed at an angle that hadn't been there when I was small.

  “Been a long couple of years?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible. Gem walked beside me, pausing now and then to study the paintings Mom collected and the fine tapestries Dad traded for overseas. She fell behind, then rushed to catch up with staccato beats of bare feet. She looked like she regretted not wearing shoes. I wanted to tell her it would give the servants something to do besides cater to my parents' every whim, but I decided to keep things at a low roar as long as I could.

  “It's definitely been interesting,” Jerry replied in a tone that revealed nothing. He glanced at me, but when I met his gaze he dropped his eyes and fell silent.

  “I'm not a child anymore,” I said quietly. “You can tell me what's been going on. It's obvious everyone's been run ragged.”

  “It's not my place to say, Master Vance,” he replied, his eyes straight ahead.

  I gritted my teeth and we followed him through two more sets of doors to Mom's favorite sitting room. Our feet sunk into red plush carpet and a sigh of contentment escaped from Gem. She threw me an embarrassed look, but being absent from the mansion for thirteen years had also dampened my memory of the grandeur of the rooms. Two had been stark and bleak compared to the gold-gilded white walls, the intricate scroll work on the mahogany furniture, and the fake fire in the fireplace that danced without giving off heat.

  Mom sat in a day lounge by the fire, her velvet-slippered feet resting on a white cushion while she read a book with a muscle-bound man on the cover. She looked up at our entrance and her face paled an instant before she rose and rushed over.

  “My goodness, Vance. Why didn't you tell me you were paying a visit?” she asked, her tone strange. She put her arms around me in an awkward hug, her hands fluttering at my back like a pair of doves trying to escape.

  “I, uh, thought it'd be okay to stop by,” I said, stumbling over my words in a way I never did. Mom's embrace, though clumsy, did more to remind me of her love than a thousand phone calls. I didn't realize how much I had missed it. Nora's voice whispered in my head that I did know, I had just shoved it down behind a wall of anger and resentment camouflaged in indifference. The need to hear the words from her lips rushed through me with a longing ache.

  “Of course it's okay,” Mom said, stepping back. Her hands quivered in front of her until she locked her fingers and stood in a semblance of composure. She noticed Gem for the first time. “Oh, and who is this?”

  Gem stepped forward before I could introduce her and shook Mom's hand. “Just Gem. I'm here for moral support.”

  I shot her a look, but she pretended not to notice.

  Mom's brows drew together. “Moral support?” Worry touched her brown eyes that were a shade darker than mine.

  I looked at the ceiling, but didn't find any help there and sighed. “I owe you an apology for the way I spoke to you on the phone.”

  “And you threw the phone at the wall and it shattered,” Gem put in helpfully.

  I glared at her this time, but she merely smiled her sprite smile and waited for me to continue. I turned back to Mom. “And I rudely hung up.”

  Gem sputtered, but I ignored her.

  A smile of understanding touched Mom's lips. “Oh, darling, you don't have to apologize. You're so worried about Nora. I would never hold anything like that against you.”

  Her comment brought an ironic smile to the corners of my mouth. “Need I remind you that you wanted me to kill her when I first found her?”

  She laughed and sounded very much like the mother I was used to arguing with over the phone. “Semantics, Vance, dear. She is a Hunter's daughter and I didn't want you to get hurt.”

  “So why the change of heart?” I pressed.

  She shrugged, but the lightness of the action was belied by her forced smile. “It's obvious that you've come to care about her very much, despite the fact that she’s human.” The last word came out of her mouth liked it tasted bad.

  “Being human doesn’t make her less than we are, Mother,” I said with a touch of bite to my tone.

  “You keep telling yourself that,” my mother replied quickly. She glanced at Gem, then forced another smile to her face. “How is the new rehabilitation center coming along?”

  “It’s done,” Gem said before flitting away like a ballerina to take a closer look at the fire.

  Mom nodded. “They do work quickly. I hear you have Jaze helping you.”

  “It’s really the other way around,” Gem said. “Jaze has all the help he needs; we just try to stay busy.” She shot me a triumphant look and I rolled my eyes.

  Mom searched for something to say and settled on, “Your father will be home soon. Perhaps we can have dinner together.”

  The thought of Dad sent a sharp pain through my chest. I gave Mom a searching look and she dropped her eyes. We both knew Dad could care less about whether I was home for dinner. I turned to the door. “I'll be going. It's just, well, I'm sorry about the way I spoke to you.” Gem cleared her throat daintily and I grimaced. “And about breaking the phone. You deserve more respect than that.”

  “Thank you, Vance,” Mom said.

  She made no move to stop me. Gem skipped back to my side and Jerry opened the door for us to leave, but Mom spoke at the last moment. “Vance?”

  I turned slowly; the knowledge that the visit had gone just how I knew it would sat heavily in my chest. “Yes, Mother?”

  Her voice revealed nothing. “I'm glad you came to visit.”
>
  I watched her for a second, wondering if she had any regrets, but no tears glittered in the firelight, her hands now held her book firmly again, and she stood by the day lounge chair as if ready to take up where she had left off. I pushed down the emotions that rose unbidden and nodded. “It was nice to see you.” I left through the door and Jerry pulled it shut behind us.

  ***

  “Who would have thought someone like you could have come from all that?” Gem mused aloud on our way back to Two.

  “You mean the money?” I hazarded as I turned the jeep onto one of the many trails in the red rocks.

  “I mean the cold shoulder. Your butlers showed more heart at seeing you than your mom. How long has it been since you were last there?”

  I forced an indifferent tone. “Thirteen years. I moved to Two when I was six.”

  She whistled, then stuck her bare feet on the dash. “Well, when we find my parents you can meet them and see how real parents are supposed to act.”

  That struck too close to the surface. “At least I know where my parents are,” I shot back. Gem fell silent and I immediately regretted the statement. I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Gem. I shouldn’t take out my frustrations on you. You don’t deserve it.”

  A smile touched her lips and her blue eyes sparkled. “That’s alright. I know you don’t mean it.” She fell silent, then said, “It was a beautiful house, though.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Like I said, what good is money if you can't use it to get what you want most?”

  She sat in silence for a few minutes, then I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye. “What?” I asked.