Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

by J. A. Saare

  “I did?” She thrust her hands under her body and pushed herself upright.

  “Yep.” I moved away and stood, smiling down at her.

  “I remember coming out to make sure you were okay…but that’s all.”

  “It’s all over now.”

  “Are you still sick? Shouldn’t you go home?” She rose from the cushions, apparently feeling all right.

  “I’m still going home, but I need to make a phone call first.”

  She seemed torn, trying to decide if she should comfort me or return to the floor. Deena was always on top of her job, so I wasn’t surprised her first inclination after being mind-fucked would be to get back to work.

  “Okay, if you’re sure.” She frowned at me skeptically.

  “I’m sure. Call me later.”

  I waited until the door closed behind her before I allowed myself to crumple to the floor. Goose was wrong. I wasn’t being offered a choice. This was survivalism 101. Pick something you can live with, or suffer the consequences. But he was right about one thing—I would never survive in an environment where I was controlled. I’d rather join my parents and pass over to whatever the hell was on the other side. I just hoped my own private purgatory didn’t entail walking this Godforsaken earth like the rest of the lost souls.

  My hypocrisy only went so far.

  I dug the phone from my pocket, fingers skimming across the Motorola Razr. I yanked it free and my heart started to pound, palms going clammy. Rising on wobbly legs, I started to pace in a tiny circle.

  This shit was permanent. Goose said lifelong commitment—as in forever.

  I felt eyes on me and stopped, glancing out the window. The dusty blinds were slit just enough for me to see Hector. He was still pissed, watching me with a troubled expression, his hair cascading carelessly around his face. He stared long and hard before he adjusted his tie and walked out of my line of vision.

  I held out the phone, staring at the tiny digital screen before opening it. I scrolled through the few numbers in the memory, locating one in particular.

  With my stomach churning and my heart pounding, I took my leap of faith. I pressed send and placed the phone to my ear. When he answered, I was proud that my voice sounded rock solid and steady.

  “Goose, I need to talk to Disco.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  To say I felt awkward would be an understatement. I was sitting in a room surrounded by Disco’s family, and they wouldn’t stop staring.

  Goose had taken the spot beside me on the vintage love seat, but it didn’t ease my tension. I squirmed under their scrutiny, wiggling from time to time against the hard tapestry cushions. I felt totally out of place, like a cockatoo on display at an exotic bird show.

  After I’d called Goose, things fell into place—for the most part. I’d been forced to submit to another mind-twist to keep the location of their home a secret. One minute I was outside the BP with Disco, the next, I was sitting in an elaborately decorated room surrounded by strange faces. The mind-warp was a shock to the senses and a bitch on perception. I couldn’t account for the lost gaps in time, and my memory kept trying to connect the blank frames.

  I studied the vampires I’d been introduced to, the moment I’d snapped out of my mind funk. There were eight of them total—six men and two women. Each one was lovely, skin luminescent and flawless, eyes twinkling in the red cast of from the fireplace.

  Jonny and Sirah sat directly across from me on the couch, Adrian and Nala situated beside them. I didn’t have to be told they were in relationships. The men made it clear with hands draped possessively over crossed legs or around shoulders. Standing behind them were Landon and Corey, the two pranksters who had come to see me the last time I’d paid a visit. To the side, lounged casually in chairs, were Peter and Paine.

  Of all of them, Paine freaked me out the most. His thick brown hair fell to his chin, complementing his lovely ivory complexion and masculine features. But all of that beauty disappeared when you looked into his eyes. They were dead, totally hollow and empty. Looking into those deep pools of liquid obsidian made me cringe, and when he met my stare and saw my reaction, he smiled.

  I quickly averted my gaze and glanced at Nala. She was staring, just like all the others, but in a different way. Each time I caught her bluish green eyes, she gave a friendly smile.

  Disco came into the room and my heart started thrumming, anticipation making me queasy. Goose explained the details over the phone, preparing me for what would occur. The family would convene to discuss the potential candidate. Then, each has a vote. If you’re invited to the fold, you give fealty to the family, accept their promise of protection, and get a big old chunk taken out of you to seal the deal.

  “You know why we’re here, so let’s get the ball rolling. I’ll start with you, Jonny.”

  Disco walked to the fireplace, standing in front of it. Since my arrival, I’d avoided making eye contact with him, still uneasy about our prior encounter. He didn’t seem upset or angry when he came to escort me to his home, but he kept to himself, unusually quiet and somewhat melancholy.

  “You’re sure she can see the twice dead?” Jonny studied at me speculatively, his dark hair short against his head, brown eyes cautious. He was dressed to impress in an expensive navy business suit with a lavender tie.

  “I am.” Disco nodded.

  “Then it’s simple. I vote yes.” He looked to Sirah. His fingers ran along the matching lavender dress she wore before returning to her bare knee.

  “Sirah?” Disco asked.

  “She’s a novice at her craft, you admitted it yourself. Why do we need another necromancer? Goose has always gotten the job done.” She spoke with a hint of arrogance, which allowed me to place her. Sirah was the ice princess of the household, complete with bouncy blonde hair and big blue eyes.

  “Her capacity and talent will extend far past my own,” Goose interrupted. “All she needs is time and instruction, which I plan to give her personally. I assure you, she is an asset.”

  “I’m sorry, Goose.” She narrowed her icy eyes in my direction. “I’m voting no.”

  Goose shrugged, and judging by his reaction, he already knew how she planned to respond.

  “Adrian?” Disco put his hands behind his back. He wasn’t happy with Sirah and didn’t attempt to hide it.

  “It’s a no brainer. If Goose has that much faith in her, who am I to argue? I vote yes.” He gave me a boyish smile, as friendly as Nala’s.

  “Nala?” Disco relaxed, smiling.

  “I’ve already told you my answer, but I’ll repeat it for the sake of propriety.” She smiled at me again, and my lips curved at the corners in response. “I vote yes.”

  “Landon?” Disco lifted his gaze to the blond standing behind the couch. As far as outward appearances were concerned, he seemed to be the youngest, twenty-years old or so at the time of his conversion.

  “Hell yeah,” he exclaimed and muffled laughter erupted inside the room. Corey slapped him on the back and his playful demeanor vanished. He coughed and cleared his throat. “I vote yes, too.”

  “Corey?” Disco fought a grin by coughing and covering it with his fist.

  Corey’s soft brown eyes twinkled. He winked at me and smiled. “She’s got my vote.”

  “Peter?” Disco shifted his feet in that bizarre motion that gave the illusion he was moving but standing still.

  “Majority decides, and the majority has chosen yes. Therefore, I vote yes as well.” He glanced at Sirah and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. I wasn’t sure if he voted yes because of the reason he stated, or if spiting her was motive enough.

  “Paine?”

  The atmosphere in the room seemed to thicken, and I felt the tension radiating from the people around me. All the attention I held dissipated; the focus on exactly one person.

  “Peter said it best.” Those onyx eyes turned to me, and my breath caught in my throat, making it impossible to breathe. Time seemed to stop as
we studied one another and he said, “Yes.”

  “It’s settled.” Disco sounded relieved. “Paine and I will take it from here.”

  The space went from being occupied by eleven bodies to a paltry four in a matter of seconds. They emptied the room, vanishing with unnatural speed. Paine watched me from his chair, reclined, legs splayed out. I shifted anxiously, and Goose patted my knee with his fingers.

  “It’s your turn, Rhiannon.” Disco’s teal eyes were intense when he spoke. “Once you devote yourself to us you can’t walk away. The commitment is binding and lasts as long as you live.”

  As long as you live—those words made me feel as if I were selling my soul. An inner part of me, the one that insisted I remain a free spirit, demanded I get up and walk out. I grappled with the words, trying to remember them as Goose had instructed. I frowned, brain sputtering.

  This was not the time to have stage fright.

  “I swear fealty to you and yours, placing myself into your keeping and devoting myself to you as you devote yourself to me.” The words came out in a rush, and I whispered to Goose from the corner of my mouth, “Is that right?”

  “That’s right,” Disco answered for him. I shifted uncomfortably in the couch, looking away. “Ethan explained that Paine is in line to take my place in the event something unexpected happens, and for that reason, he must taste your blood. Did he not?”

  “He did.” I nodded, staring at the floor. I could feel the weight of his stare.

  “Did he also warn you of his particular ability?”

  “He did,” I repeated.

  When Paine touched me, he would know all my secrets, including ones that haven’t occurred yet. He was both blessed and cursed with flashes of the past and the future. He would know what it was like when I was born, just as he would know how it would be when I died. The only thing he wouldn’t know is the when or where.

  Paine rose from the chair in a fluid movement and said, “Wait outside, Ethan.”

  Goose smiled in encouragement as he walked around the chairs and past Paine. I bit my tongue and pressed my lips together, preventing the words “don’t go” from escaping. He walked out of the doors and closed them behind him, the click of the latches cementing the reality of what I was allowing to transpire. I swore I wouldn’t show fear, but it was impossible to hide.

  They could smell it.

  “You play the hellion pretty well.” Paine smirked, ambling over. “But I’ll know if it’s all for show. Is that what frightens you?”

  “No. But it has to bother you knowing how all your brothers and sisters are going to bite the big one.” I didn’t mention the personal guilt related to seeing what happened to Jacob and Cash. After all, soon he would know all about my dirty laundry too.

  “It does,” he admitted, voice deep and contemplative. “And I’m about to see how you die as well.”

  He knelt beside me, ebony eyes probing as he opened his hand, palm up. I nervously extended my own and he pulled me to him, turning my arm to expose my wrist. I took a deep breath to steady myself. Disco remained in front of the fireplace, but his gaze was riveted on us. I avoided looking at him, returning my attention to Paine. He grasped my forearm and hand tightly as his hair fell forward, obscuring him from view.

  “I give you my protection as a member of this house,” he whispered against my skin, mouth widening and elongated canines sinking deep.

  Whoever went around spreading the juicy rumor that vampire bites are erotic and sexy are full of shit. His teeth didn’t pierce or poke, they crunched through the muscle and tendon in my arm. I hissed, jerking and trying to pull away on reflex. He kept my arm firmly in place, fingers digging painfully into my skin, and I sniffed back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

  His teeth pulled free of my agonized flesh as he sucked gently with his mouth and tongue. The intense burning faded to a sting, and then a dull pulse. He stopped abruptly, mouth tight over the wound. The moment passed and he drank again, pulling on the skin, his steady swallowing soft in my ears. When finished, he ran his tongue along the surface of the wound, sealing the skin together. Only then did he release my arm.

  He stood, towering over the loveseat, pushing heavy brown hair clear of his face. He studied me with an odd expression, almost tender and curious. Quickly it vanished, replaced by those dark and dangerous eyes.

  “Welcome to the family,” he said softly. With a nod to Disco, he left the room, pulling the doors closed without turning around.

  I studied my wrist. Little white indentions ran along the surface, tiny little dots and slashes—teeth marks. I recognized them as being the same as those hidden beneath Goose’s watch.

  “I thought it was supposed to turn black.” I spoke aloud to break the strained silence of the room.

  “Not from his bite.”

  “Why didn’t I have to take from him? I thought the connection was established by exchanging blood?”

  The loveseat sank beneath the weight of Disco’s body. “If something happens to me, you’ll be expected to exchange blood with the new head of the family, which is Paine. For now, you’re connected with him, and that’s enough.”

  I ran my fingertips along the raised welts of skin, each smooth but also firm, almost iridescent. “Does he tell you? How we die, I mean?” Although it meant I was extremely morbid, the knowledge that someone knew how I would die didn’t bother me.

  “No.” Disco’s voice was strained. “He refuses to share it with anyone.”

  “Why?” I glanced up, into Disco’s eyes. I could make out the gold flecks inside the irises with my faultless vision.

  “People who know how they will die change their behaviors in an attempt to avoid the circumstances. Paine doesn’t want to interfere with the time someone could spend productively, in happiness. So he swore he would never share what he knows, and to my knowledge, he never has.”

  “It seems to have taken a toll.”

  “Everyone knows the ones they love will die. Even immortals are aware death doesn’t play favorites and our time could be cut short, as we are not infallible. But I don’t think anyone ever truly thinks about the limited span of time given to each of us. It is a different awareness for Paine. He knows with absolutely certainty everyone will die. Whether it occurs tomorrow, or five hundred-years from now.”

  “I guess it nixes potential friendships,” I said, pity creeping into my voice.

  “I braced myself for anger, not your understanding, in regard to Paine. I thought you’d be livid that he knew the things you’ve sworn to keep hidden.”

  I sighed, a mere whisper of air against the crackle from the fireplace. “I don’t have a choice. I’m angry about that. But he didn’t intentionally seek out the information. If he goes around sharing what he knows, that’ll be a different story.”

  “Paine won’t say a word, I can assure you. He keeps to himself, but when he does interact with us, it’s very superficial. Your secret is safe with him.” Disco spoke the last part begrudgingly, and when I dared a look in his direction. He was frowning.

  “Do you want to know that badly?”

  I stared into the shimmering depths of his eyes. Coming into the fold was not the only monumental change I would have to accept, there was still the matter of trust.

  “I do,” he acknowledged.

  I reached for his hands, the warmth of my fingers encompassing his cool skin. He watched me, his intense gaze ravaging my face as I placed his palms against my cheeks.

  “Once you know, don’t mention it or bring it up again. Not now, not ever. That’s all I am able to give you.” I closed my eyes and waited, trembling when his right hand laced through my hair, the left caressing my jaw.

  “No,” he murmured softly, “One day you will tell me, and it won’t be because you feel obligated or pressured. Until then, I can wait.”

  I lifted my lids and his face was there, his breath soft and sweet in my nose. My throat constricted as brown eyes clashed with blue. He pulle
d my hair teasingly, angling my head to the side so he could place his mouth against my left ear.

  “Where do you want your mark, Rhiannon?” His words were sensual, husky, and filled with underlying promises.

  “On my wrist, maybe.” My voice cracked. “Like Goose?”

  His breath teased the skin on my throat. “I don’t think that suits you.”

  “Then where?” I groaned, anxiety changing to something else, skin tingling and sensitive.

  “Here.” He pressed his mouth against my throat, and my entire body erupted in heat, flames licking beneath the surface of the skin.

  “Okay,” I agreed rashly, bringing my left hand up to grasp his back.

  He twisted his body ever so slightly, teasing the skin along my nape with his fingers, lightly skimming the surface. Soft lips replaced them, rubbing in a delicious friction on my throat. I felt teeth follow the same path, gently scraping the top of the skin, stopping above the pulse on my neck.

  He moved his left hand down to grasp my arm firmly. The right remained entwined in my hair, pulling me closer. I felt his body surge forward and I tensed, unable to resist the urge to avoid the inevitable pain from this bite. My breath stuck in my throat as he sank his teeth deep, scoring the pulsing vein cleanly.

  My free hand connected with his arm, fingers digging into unyielding muscle. The pressure vanished as teeth eased out of my neck and his mouth surrounded the bite. He sucked gently, tongue lapping against the ravaged skin. The sharp, stabbing pain vanished, a dull ache left in its place.

  He drank in deep greedy pulls, crowding my neck until I felt lightheaded. My grip loosened as he shifted his body, reaching for something I couldn’t see. Blood trickled freely down my neck in a thin red line when he lifted his head, flowing past the hollow of my throat and into my sweater.

  “This will only take a moment,” Disco promised and pressed something soft against the deep punctures in my skin. I watched from sleepy eyes as he removed a black piece of cloth from my neck. His mouth descended, tongue moving over the ragged holes gently. He worried at the skin longer than necessary, and I gasped for the second time, but not in pain.