Always Yours

by Kari March

  My adrenaline was still pumping as I began sorting through my belongings. It was bumpy in the truck as I tried to dress myself and I kept catching Cam peering at me out of the corner of his eye. His lips twisted up into a goofy, playful smile.

  "What are you looking at?" I asked, putting my bra and shirt on.

  "I was just admiring the view, that's all," he expressed, looking back at the road.

  I looked around, trying to find my underwear but couldn't find them anywhere. "Crap!" I huffed. "My freakin' thong is missing." I slid my jeans back on and Cam dissolved into a fit of laughter. Narrowing my eyes at him, I swatted his arm. "It's not funny, I loved that thong." I crossed my arms over my chest and slunk down in the seat.

  "Stop pouting, you big baby, I'll buy you a new one," he said, rolling his eyes at me. Instantly, I perked back up. I knew I could just go buy a new one myself, but the fact that he offered made me smile. "Now can you come take the wheel so I can get dressed?"

  I slid across the bench seat and took hold of the wheel while he dressed himself. It was unreal how easy things were between us. When we didn't think and we just felt, everything flowed naturally. But I knew it wouldn't last. We were both still dwelling on our pasts and I didn't think we would ever be able to move on. All it was going to take was one fight, one moment, and one of us was going to run.

  All I could see was the back of his head and her arms wrapped around his waist as he pushed his tongue down her throat. Tears trickled along my face and landed on my now showing, pregnant belly. Today was supposed to be a day filled with happy memories but now all I would ever remember was how they looked tangled in each other's arms.

  I had to get out of here.

  Pushing my way past them, I accidently bumped into her, causing them to come apart. She glared at me with evil in her eyes.

  "Well, look what we have here," she hissed at me in an icy tone. "If it isn't the class whore." Everyone at the graduation party started to laugh at me. "You know, Lance told me what you did."

  I looked at her in confusion and then over to Lance who had his back to me. My heart was slamming in my chest and I couldn't utter a single word as fear took over.

  "Did you really think getting pregnant was going to make him stay with you?" she asked me in the bitchiest tone possible.

  "Wha...what do you mean? I didn't do this on purpose," I argued. "Why would you think that?"

  A high-pitched cackle escaped her and I looked back at Lance, begging him to turn around and defend me, but he didn't.

  "Oh, come on, Cara. He told me everything. You knew he was going to break up with you after graduation. Getting pregnant was the only way you thought he would stay with you."

  I didn't believe what she was saying. It wasn't true. He was supposed to love me, why would he tell her this? Blocking her out, I moved towards Lance. "Why is she saying this, Lance. Tell her she's wrong," I begged him, my voice cracking from the tears that were building up behind my eyes, but he didn't move.

  Putting my hand on his shoulder, he finally turned around and my heart sunk when it was Cam's face that I saw. "Whore!" he shouted at me. "Whore, whore, whore..." he continued to repeat, each word like a dagger to my heart, piercing it deeper and deeper. Placing my hands over my ears I turned and ran away.

  I woke up in a cold sweat, beads of moisture dripping from my forehead. My nightmare was like a foresight into the future. I couldn't help but fear that history was going to repeat itself and Cam was going to be the cause of my heartbreak. I needed to cut the ties now before it was too late, before I fell any harder than I already had. This was the moment I had feared —it was time to start running.

  I raised my right hand and shot a rewarding look over to Blake. This was it, the academy was over and we fucking made it. We had been to hell and back multiple times in the last twelve weeks but standing here, preparing to take the firefighters’ oath made it all worth it. Tomorrow, Blake and I would officially be rookies at station #34 and I was fucking stoked.

  Looking out into the crowd, I spotted my father and while I was honored that he came to support me, the one person I wanted to see wasn't out there. I hadn't seen her since I dropped her off at her car the night we got lost. I drove away from her that night thinking she was the type of girl I could have a relationship with—a long time from now. I even called her the next day, and I never called women after screwing them. It was then when I realized not everything was as good as I thought it was. Her attitude towards me seemed different, distant almost and it hadn't even been twenty-four hours.

  The rest of the week I'd been so busy with the academy I hadn't had time to stop by Maggie's Place. I knew if I could just see her in person, I could fix whatever the issue was. I texted her, but her responses were always impersonal and vague. Her shit was starting to get old and I had too much on my plate this week to deal with it.

  Last night, I had gone to Maggie's Place to see her. I had to find out what was going on but she wasn't there. Shay told me she had called in sick and I knew from the conversation we had last week that she never called in sick. Something was up with her. Shay wouldn't give me her address so I had no choice but to call her. When I did, she didn't answer. I called her two more times and when she finally picked up, she sounded bothered, aggravated even.

  Maybe it was crazy to ask her to come—shit, I knew it was—but I couldn't help it, it just came out. Stumbling over her words she told me she had plans already and there was no way she was going to be able to make it. I knew she was lying—she was a horrible liar, but I didn't want to fight with her. If she didn't want to come, it was her loss. I didn't need to put up with her hot and cold bullshit anyway. I just wanted to fuck her again—at least that's what I kept telling myself.

  "Cadets, please repeat after me," the fire chief said, pulling me from my jumbled thoughts.

  I listened and repeated the words like an impassive robot, the entire time thinking of Cara and what I was going to do about this fucked-up situation. "I, Cam Greer, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and the State of Colorado against all enemies, both foreign and domestic..."

  "Stop brooding around like a chick and go fucking see her," Blake said as he plopped down on the couch next to my feet.

  I lifted my arm, which was resting on my face and looked at him."Dude, she doesn't want to see me, and I'm not brooding, asshole." Really, I was. I'd been doing it all week. I didn't even know why I was so grim. It's not like I had lost her, she was never fucking mine.

  "You are, and if you keep it up, I'm going to the store to get you a box of tampons." He chucked a pillow at my head. "Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? She's already avoiding your calls and texts. How much worse could it get? At least if you go, you'll get some fucking answers so you can move on."

  "Hey, rookies, how about you go clean the engine instead of sitting here on your asses," Captain Landry ordered as he walked through the room.

  "Yes, sir," Blake replied and we both stood up.

  "I swear, Bentley, if you call me Sir one more time I'm gonna transfer you out of here. Call me Captain, Landry, or Cash, but not Sir, do you understand?" Cash warned as he pointed at Blake. "This isn't the academy anymore. That formal shit won't save your ass when you're in a burning building."

  "Sorry, Captain," Blake said. Cash nodded and left the room.

  Cash Landry was the youngest Captain in the whole department and he was also the best. At only thirty-two he had several merit, valor and honor awards under his belt and he ran his team like a well-oiled machine. I was proud to be a part of his station and prayed that I wouldn't let him down.

  Adam and Brent, the other two members of our crew, started laughing behind us."The two of you can finish your girl talk when you make dinner later," Adam said as we walked by.

  "Should we run out and grab you some pink aprons too?" Brent joked.

  "Don't be a dick to the chef, guys. You never know what'll end up in y
our food," I warned over my shoulder as we walked out to the garage. Blake busted out laughing. I knew I was going to pay for that remark later but I wasn't in the mood to take any more shit from the two of them. Blake and I were rookies, yes, and I knew how the hierarchy worked in the department—rookies did the bitch work—but I didn't need to be disrespected.

  While we were cleaning the engine I thought about what Blake had said and he was right. I needed to figure out what was going on, I needed to go see her.

  As I pulled up to Maggie's Place I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had no clue what Cara was going to do when she saw me tonight but personally, I didn't care anymore. I was sick of the unknown. It was just after one in the morning and I knew things would be slowing down with last call. I was hoping to catch her when she wasn't busy so I would at least have a chance to talk to her.

  After showing my ID to the bouncer, I walked through the doors and spotted her straight away. She was behind the bar, leaning on the counter talking to a customer. The dark haired douche-bag she was chatting to was a little overdressed for Maggie's Place, with his green button-up shirt and black pants. His demeanor alone screamed egotistical bastard and the blatant way he was flirting with her and doing a piss poor job at it was enough to make me want to hurl. But what was even worse was that Cara looked as though she actually enjoyed his comradeship.

  She was giggling like a school girl at everything he said, throwing her head back in fits of laughter like he was a fucking comedian.

  How could she think I was an arrogant bastard and not see through that cocksucker's facade?

  Every time she looked away I could see him gawking at her tits—those beautiful tits, that just two weeks ago were mine. I was about to lose my shit watching them interact.

  I just stood there, glaring at them—at her—trying to figure out what their relationship was. Then, as if she could sense my presence, she snapped her head up from what she was doing and began casually looking around the bar. Before she could spot me, I quickly turned around and headed out to the parking lot. I was too pissed off to deal with her right now. I needed to calm down and then talk to her. Plus, there was no way I was going near her with that prick hanging around.

  I sat in my truck and waited. Waited for him, waited for her, waited for anything, but nothing was happening. It was now two thirty in the morning and neither of them had left yet. The bar was closed and the parking lot was empty, except for a few lingering cars. Cara and Shay's cars were parked in the furthest corner of the lot just as they were the last time I did this, only this time I had no intentions of exiting my truck when they left. This time, I had a better plan. I knew it was a complete stalker move, but it was the only way I was going to be able to talk to Cara alone. Moving my tuck to a parking spot on the other side of the lot, I waited in the dark shadows.

  Just as I was about to give up and call it a night, the doors opened, and Cara, Shay, the cocksucker, and Dane, the bouncer, emerged through them. Dane and Shay stood by the door, giving Cara and the cocksucker some privacy as she walked him to his car. They spoke for a moment before he extended his arms and hugged Cara goodbye. She didn't hesitate at the gesture, in fact, she embraced him back, and for a split second I wanted to follow his ass home and beat the shit out of him.

  Once Dane walked Cara and Shay to their cars and they were safe, he got in his and drove away. Shay was next to leave the lot, and finally, after a few moments, Cara's car started to pull out. Once she turned onto the main road, I started my truck and began to follow her home.

  It only took about fifteen minutes to arrive at her townhouse in the south east corner of Aurora. Oddly enough, station #34 was just a few blocks away. I passed by here almost every day and never even knew it.

  She parked her car in what looked like a designated parking spot right in front of her unit. I was fearful that if she saw me, she would run inside. I parked down a bit from where she was and waited for her to exit her car before making my move. Once she was walking towards her door, I jumped out of my truck and with my hands in my pockets, I started heading her way. I didn't even have to call out to her; as soon as I was close, she sensed me. I could see her body tense up as she slowly turned her head, looking straight at me. She seemed despondent as the tip of her thumb smashed between her teeth.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked as I got closer, with no emotion in her voice.

  Stopping just short of her personal space I tried to push the visions of her and the prick from my mind. "You haven't retuned my calls," I countered. She looked down at her feet, avoiding me even in person and it only added to the fire. My head was like a minefield, full of undiscovered explosions, and Cara held the detonator—she could set them off randomly with a press of a button. "I just wanna know why? Is it because of that jackass you were talking to tonight at the bar?"

  Her head shot up and she glared at me with a tight jaw. "Were you spying on me?" Her voice was no longer emotionless.

  "Not per se. I came to talk to you, but when I got there you were already waist deep in the bullshit he was throwing at you," I bit back. "Did you spread your legs for that cocksucker, too?" I regretted the words as soon as they came out. I wanted to take them back but it was too late.

  "Fuck you, Cam!" she snapped. "Not that it's any of your business," she started to explain as she got in my face, her body stiff and tense. "But no, I didn't spread my legs for him. That mistake was reserved only for you." She spouted off, jabbing her finger into my chest.

  "What the hell is your problem, Cara? What the fuck did I do to you?" I yelled at her, my fists clenched at my sides.

  She took a step back. "It isn't what you did to me, Cam," she said, her voice more level. She closed her eyes and her shoulders slumped as she lowered her head. "It's what you're going to do to me." Her voice was soft—almost a whisper and you could hear the fear behind her words.

  Taking a step closer I placed my hands on her shoulders and pulled her to me to comfort her. "I'm not him, Cara. Don't push me away because you think I'm like whoever hurt you. I don't know what this is between us but I know whatever it is we can't ignore it."

  "I'm just scared," she mumbled into my chest as she wrapped her arms around me. "I'm not ready for a relationship—at least not a serious one. But I've never felt like this before." I was beyond relieved when those words came out of her mouth. I was nowhere near ready for a commitment either and it was nice to hear we were on the same page. The thought of anything serious happening between us right now scared the piss out of me. But the thought of her walking away from me terrified me even more.

  "Hey," I said as I held her head and compelled her to look at me. "Let's just take things one step at a time, okay? No labels, no obligations, let's just be us." She nodded her head and flashed me a reserved smile. "Just please, just do one thing for me, because I'll probably kill someone if you don't."

  "What's that?" she asked me, peering up through her lashes, looking so fucking sexy that my dick started to jerk in my pants.

  "Don't spread your legs for anyone else until we figure out what this is between us?"

  She furrowed her brow at me before giving me a brazen smile. "Okay. But same for you. The only girl that is allowed to spread anything for you is me."

  God, she was adorable.

  "You've got it." I flashed a sinful grin in her direction as images of her sprawled out before me filled my mind. "You know, since we're on the subject," I began, raising my eyebrows at her, "do you maybe want to invite me in?"

  She shook her head at me as she chuckled a bit. "Do you ever think of anything else besides sex?" She started walking to her door and I followed her.

  "No, not really," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "It doesn't help that I've done nothing but think about you for the past two weeks." She grinned timidly over her shoulder at me as she unlocked the door. Leaning forward I swiped the hair off of the back of her neck as I softly said the next part in her ear, "Your sexy body, the way you cried out m
y name, and the look on your face when you came all over me, is all I've been able to see." Her face flushed with color. "You've got my balls cussin', firecracker, and there is only one thing that is going to make them stop."

  Spinning her around swiftly, I pressed my mouth to hers, kissing her hard. She moaned into my mouth and I lost it. That sound shot straight to my dick, making it rise with complete attention. We needed to get inside before I took her right here on the front porch. Reaching behind her, I found the door knob and opened it. I picked her up, walked inside, and kicked the door shut behind us.

  As badly as I wanted to make it to the bedroom, it wasn't going to happen. She was pulling at my clothes, unbuttoning my shirt, and kicking her shoes off while she was still in my arms. Laying her down on the couch I climbed over her. Moving down my shirt, she continued her assault on the buttons—one by one, her fingers brushed against my skin, leaving a wake of warmth in their path.

  Once she had it open, she pushed it over my shoulders and slid her hands over my chest as she made her way to my pants. Her touch was impulsive and desperate, like she craved me as much as I did her. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. Burying my face in her neck, I kissed and nibbled on her earlobe and she let out an inviting giggle. I continued down her throat and goose bumps broke out all over her skin.

  Thrusting her hips upward, she tried to make contact but I denied her and pulled back. She whined a little and I couldn't help but laugh—I loved making her squirm. And tonight, she was going to squirm until she begged me to fuck her.

  I took my time removing her clothing, savoring the sight of her naked body against the dark fabric of the couch. Her perfectly pink nipples were bunched up into tiny little buds and the way she writhed under my intense stare was fucking sinful. She looked up at me as I stood above her with an unadulterated thirst.