Always Yours

by Kari March

I couldn't contain myself any longer. My eyes flooded with pools of grief and my chin began to quiver uncontrollable. It felt like the world was spinning in slow motion and I was stuck, unable to move or breathe.

  What had I done?

  I didn't know how long I cried over him outside of his house but by the time I stopped, my face was stained with the salt from my tears and my skin stung when I tried to wipe them away.

  Firing up the engine to my car, I put it in drive and pressed on the gas. I fought the urge to glance in my rearview mirror as I drove away. There was no point looking back at something I had already lost. Cam was now my past and it was time to let him go.

  I could feel the familiar pounding in my head before I even woke, my eyes twitching with each thump as I slowly came out of my unconscious state. I was lying on my back; the warmth of her body pressed against mine was making me sweat. Cara was here, in my bed, nuzzled against my chest. I must be dreaming.

  Not wanting to open my eyes, I lifted my arm, placing it around her back, hugging her to me. She squirmed in her sleep and my pulse quickened.

  She's really here.

  This isn't a dream.

  Slowly, I drew my fingers down the soft skin of her back and she moaned softly. Only it wasn't Cara's voice.

  My eyes flew open in a state of panic and I lifted my head so I could peek at whoever it was laying on top of me. All I could see was blond hair sprawled across my chest. I skimmed the room, thankful I was in my own home when I noticed all the clothes spread out on the floor—my black pants and grey shirt along with a bright red dress and shoes that looked like they could belong to the devil.

  Club Bliss...Tequila shots...Amber!

  Fuck!

  What did I do?

  I wasn't allowing myself to wallow about Cam any longer. It had been two weeks—he had made his decision and I had made mine. And even though I was ninety percent sure it was the wrong one, there was nothing I could do about it now—what's done was done. He was back with Amber and I needed to move on with my life even if it killed me.

  I put all of my energy into Maggie's Place. If I wasn't sleeping I was here. I never took a night off, even though some nights we were way over staffed. I tried giving Shay extra nights off but she didn't like the idea since Kyle was still being a pain in her ass.

  The bar had never been cleaner, more organized, or precisely inventoried and I had done it all in just two weeks. I hoped that when Royce came back he'd be pleased with what I had done. I had also seen a rise in sales since I amped up our advertising. Not that we really needed it, but it was going to be fun to show Royce the increase in numbers at the end of the month.

  Crouching down behind the bar, I was busy marking the liquor bottles when I heard the front door swing open. Glancing down at my watch I figured it was Shay, seeing at how it was almost 3pm, so I stayed hidden behind the bar.

  "I'm behind the bar," I shouted over the radio that was playing "Kiss a Girl" by Keith Urban. I heard footfalls as she walked across the wooden floor but she didn't say a word. Wondering what she was up to I started to stand.

  "Hey, beautiful," a crisp sultry voice said from behind me and I stopped moving entirely.

  I quit taking inventory of the bar and turned around, a sincere smile plastered on my face. "Oh, hey, Nolan, long time no see," I teased. His brown eyes lowered quickly, his face flushing, as if he was embarrassed for coming around so much and I giggled quietly at his adorable display. "So why are we being graced with your presence today? Is there some new liquor that we are missing out on?"

  Nolan had been stopping by the bar almost every other day since the Captain event and even though the first few visits were awkward, the more he came around, the happier I was to have the company.

  "Well, no, not exactly." He fidgeted with his keys as he continued, "I came to tell you that I'm no longer your Global Beverage Distributing rep." His brow furrowed as he waited for my reaction.

  "What? Why not?" I asked a little shocked at his news. "What did we do to make you not like us?" I teased as I leaned onto the counter. I watched his eyes dip down to my cleavage like they always did when we talked. I didn't mind it; it was actually kind of flattering.

  "There's nothing you could do to make me not like you, Cara." He leaned forward so our faces were almost touching and I could feel his warm breath on my lips.

  My face flushed from his comment and I looked up at him through my lashes. His powerful eyes were focused solely on mine. Feeling a little overwhelmed, I stood back up. "Well then, what's up?"

  He stared at me gravely before his face cracked and a smile appeared. "I got a promotion. You are now looking at the Divisional Accounts Manager of Global Beverage Distributing."

  "Wow, Nolan, that's great. Congratulations," I said, genuinely happy for him.

  "So does that mean I won't be harassed by you on a weekly basis anymore?" I asked sarcastically as I placed my hand on my hip, smirking at him.

  "Actually, that leads me to the other reason I came to talk to you." His chin dipped down while he rubbed the back of his neck. His tone was serious and it made my chest feel heavy and my heartbeat pick up. "It's no secret that I've had a major crush on you for the past two years. And even though you repeatedly turned me down I never once gave up on you." I felt a small smile start to creep across my lips as he spoke. "And I was okay with you turning me down because I knew no matter what I was going to see you again, even if it was just business. But the thought of not seeing you every week...I don't know, it just doesn't appeal to me."

  His gaze shifted up to mine and when he saw the smile of approval on my face he climbed over the bar. I took a step back and he jumped down, landing right in front of me. Butterflies danced in my stomach as he took a step closer.

  My nerves were firing on all cylinders and I couldn't look away from him as he slowly leaned in closer to me, placing his hands just below my shoulders. I could see the longing in his eyes as they closed shut, his head tilting as he continued to move closer. A million different things raced through my head—I didn't know if I wanted him to kiss me or not. Was I ready for this so soon after Cam? I had toyed with the idea after our last encounter but was still on the fence.

  Before I could even decide his lips were on mine. They were soft, the kiss gentle and romantic. The complete opposite of Cam—I liked it. Moving my hands to his hips, I held on to the hem of his brown shirt and opened my mouth a little, allowing him more of me. He took the offer and slid his tongue over mine while gripping my arms tenderly.

  I could feel his breathing accelerate as the kiss came to an end. Releasing me, he touched his fingers to his lips as he stared at me with a warm grin. My eyes fixed on his now more noticeable dimple and I let go of his shirt, taking a small step away from him.

  "I've waited three years to do that," he whispered and the corners of my mouth turned upward.

  "To do what?" Shay's loud voice asked from the front door of the bar. She was leaning up against the threshold, her arms crossed in front of her. I rolled my eyes and Nolan jumped back, adding more distance between the two of us—like we were fifteen and were just caught making out by our parents.

  "Great timing, Shay," I said cynically.

  "What can I say, I'm always at the right place at the right time." She laughed and headed to the back of the bar. "Don't mind me, I just work here," she tossed over her shoulder before disappearing behind the door.

  "Sorry about that."

  "Come to dinner with me on Saturday," he blurted out as he closed the gap, staring at me.

  My eyes widened at what he was asking. "I, um, it's just...I don't think..." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to go but I was hesitant.

  "You can't kiss me like that and then turn me down when I ask you for a date." He placed his hands over his heart and frowned. "Are you trying to kill me?" He stuck out his lower lip like he was a six-year-old little boy and it was endearing in a childish sort of way.

  I laughed a little at his gesture but he w
as right. I let him kiss me and I kissed him back. I couldn't deny him a date now. Once again my body took over, making decisions before my brain had time to think.

  "Alright, Nolan, you win," I said and his face lit up like a sparkler on the Fourth of July.

  At that moment, Cam's face blazed to the forefront of my mind and it chipped away the piece of my heart that I'd spent the past two weeks mending together.

  I took one more quick glance in the mirror before Nolan was due to arrive. The wine colored dress I borrowed from Shay was simple yet classy. Its one shoulder top, and form fitting bodice hugged my curves seamlessly while the flowing skirt showed off just the right amount of leg. Paired with my gold shoes and simple gold hoops, I hoped I wasn't overdressed for what he had in mind.

  A soft knock at the door alerted me to his arrival and after grabbing my purse from the counter I answered the door. My stomach fluttered uncontrollably at the sight of him standing with a bouquet of white lilies. He looked endearing in a pair of grey slacks and matching blazer with a soft blue button up underneath it. He had traded the black retro glasses for contacts and his hair was spiked up in its usual way.

  I fidgeted with the hem of my dress as his eyes roamed up and down the length of me. "Dang, Cara. You look...beautiful." I could hear the sincerity in his voice and I smiled at him.

  "Thanks, you clean up well yourself," I admitted. He was still staring at my legs when I shifted my weight. "Should we get going?" I asked and his eyes shot to mine.

  "Yes, let's get going. We have reservations at seven." He handed me the flowers. "These are for you."

  "Thank you," I said, taking the bouquet. He followed me inside as I placed them in some water.

  When I was done he held his arm out for me and I took it. He led me to his car and we set out for dinner. My nerves were on edge from the excitement of not knowing what he had planned for the evening but for some strange reason I trusted him wholeheartedly.

  Twenty minutes later, we arrived at Shanahan's, a modern steakhouse off of I-25 in Denver. We spent dinner casually chatting about work and our families. We shared stories and reminisced about funny things that had happened in the bar over the past three years. I laughed so hard at one point wine almost came out of my nose. With Nolan conversation came easy. He always hung on every word I said, giving me his undivided attention. I had never had a guy listen to me the way he did.

  "Dinner was amazing, Nolan, thanks so much," I told him as we waited for valet to pull his car around.

  "The night isn't over yet," he announced."Dinner was just round one of tonight's festivities."

  I eyed him suspiciously, wondering what he had planned. We got in the car and headed north on I-25 towards downtown Denver, the lights from the city growing brighter, the closer we got. Exiting the highway at Water Street, my confusion grew as Nolan turned his car into a private parking lot at the Denver Aquarium. It was way after hours and they weren't open so I was curious as to what we were doing here.

  Opening my door, Nolan held out his hand for me with a huge smirk on his face. "Welcome to round two," he said.

  We walked hand and hand to the back entrance of the aquarium, the whole time my nerves were on edge. We approached the door and I pulled him back as he reached for the handle. "What are you doing?" I asked him through a tight jaw. "Aren't we going to get in trouble for this?"

  "Relax, Cara, I'm not breaking the law." He laughed. "Someone owes me a favor. We're allowed to be here. Just trust me." He softly rubbed my arm, reassuring me everything was good and I felt silly for even questioning him.

  Once inside, we walked down three different dimly lit hallways before emerging in the large lobby of the aquarium. This was one of the few places I had never visited growing up and I was becoming really excited about the possibility of getting to look around.

  Nolan led me to an escalator. At the top there was a young man in a uniform at the entrance to the exhibits. He nodded his head at Nolan and opened the door. "Welcome to the Denver Aquarium, I hope you enjoy your private viewing experience." My eyes widened and I gripped Nolan's hand tighter with anticipation.

  We walked through the doors and I was instantly greeted by a wall of humidity. The smell of fresh streams and the outdoors filled my senses as we began our journey.

  "Are you freaking kidding me, Nolan?" I squealed, looking around at all the fish. "Do we really have the whole place to ourselves?"

  "We sure do, beautiful," he replied, twirling me around. He pulled me to him so we were face to face; his large hands gripped my waist as he looked at me. "Are you impressed?"

  "You did well, Mr. Brooks." I giggled and he lightly kissed my forehead.

  "Shall we continue then?" I shook my head in disbelief and we headed further into the exhibit.

  The rest of the night felt like we were staring in a romantic comedy. Nolan was a little kid at heart. He wasn't scared of being himself and his goofy, playful personality melted my heart.

  Even as we were standing in the shark exhibit, watching the mysterious creatures swim above our heads, he couldn't help but be...Nolan. I laughed uncontrollably, watching while he made absurd faces and hummed the theme from "Jaws" at the sharks swimming by.

  "You are such a dork," I chuckled while I shook my head at him.

  He looked over at me, tilting his head slowly. His eyes grew wide and his mouth snarled into a teeth baring growl as he slowly began stalking towards me. "Duh nuh...duh nuh..." he sang, moving closer, crouching down like he was about to charge. "Duh nuh...duh nuh...duh nuh..." His speed picked up and he lunged at me. I screamed while he grabbed me by the waist and pushed me up against the glass. Burying his face in my neck, goose bumps broke out all over my body as he pretended to gnaw on me.

  Time began to slow down, everything spinning out of focus like I was on a merry-go-round. I don't know if Nolan felt it as well but at the same moment, he nuzzled into my face, the rough stubble on his jaw grazing my skin sensually. Our breathing picked up as the heat between us grew. Bringing his hand up he cupped my cheek, his eyes flitting down to connect with mine. He leaned in, his mouth parted slightly, and our lips met softly, moving in unison together.

  Running my fingers through his hair I pulled him closer and he took the hint, deepening the kiss. For the first time in weeks my whole body felt alive, my heart pumping wildly as he dipped his hands below my waist, grabbing my hips and forcing our bodies closer. Every part of my body was screaming at me. I could feel the familiar ache between my legs starting to grow, forcing me to moan faintly into his mouth. He pulled back slowly, resting his head on mine, leaving me quivering for more.

  "We can't do this here," he whispered breathlessly. "I want you, Cara. I've wanted you for as long as I can remember but I won't do it like this. I want it to be special."

  "I don't care where we are, Nolan," I admitted. "If you want it to be special make it happen."

  "Then let's get the hell out of here." He picked me up in his arms and carried me out of the aquarium.

  I couldn't believe how fast I was falling for Nolan. Maybe knowing him for all those years was making it easier, maybe it was how easy he was to talk to or how he always knew exactly what to say to make me weak in the knees. Whatever it was, it scared me and for once it wasn't because of my past—it was because of Cam.

  For years I used women as a distraction—a way to keep my head clear of Amber—it didn't work. Two months with Cara in my life and Amber becomes the distraction—it's still not working. I had come full circle.

  Waking up with Amber in my bed that morning was terrifying. I fucking hated myself for doing the unthinkable—but as bad as it was, it helped me. She was the diversion I needed and that's why I didn't kick her out of my bed.

  Things with Amber were straightforward. She knew all I wanted from her was sex and she was more than willing to accommodate that need. I didn't have to deal with a relationship. She was at my beck and call whenever I wanted, which was almost every night. Sometimes we would go out to
dinner or go see a movie, but mainly we fucked.

  Last week when she asked me to go to dinner with her father I didn't even hesitate. I knew I would get laid afterward so my mind instinctually said yes—what a mistake that was. Amber got clingy after that. She wanted to talk more, hang out more and she actually started refusing me sex. She started digging into my personal life, asking me things about Cara and my relationship. She wanted to share everything like your typical female does.

  Nevertheless, she was still a distraction. Her whiny, high maintenance, complaining ass kept my mind off Cara and that's all that mattered to me. Plus, trying to get rid of her now would be like trying to bath a cat—her claws were dug in and she wasn't going anywhere.

  Somehow she even convinced me to take her to Blake's Fourth of July party. I didn't know if showing up unannounced was a good idea, seeing how I was supposed to be at work but I knew Blake wouldn't mind. I got my shift covered and getting drunk sounded way fucking better than working.

  "Are you excited to introduce me to all your friends, baby?" she asked in her high-pitched voice as we made the drive over to Blake's.

  "To no end," I mocked as I pulled into the neighborhood. Cars were already overflowing out of his street as people flocked to his house.

  I parked the car and we both got out, Amber tripping all over the place in her white high heels.

  "I told you not to wear those shoes, this is a block party not a club," I said, looking down at her feet.

  She grabbed my arm to steady herself. "But they are so cute," she pouted. "And if you're lucky, later I'll keep them on while you fuck me from behind."

  That brought my dick to a standing position. One thing about Amber was, she liked it whenever, however, and the dirtier the better. "Damn straight you will. You'll be doing more than just fucking me for dragging me out here tonight," I said, slapping her ass.

  "They're your friends, why are you acting like it's such a bother?" she asked as we started walking up Blake's driveway.