“I’d go check on her, of course.”
“Okay. And if Brooke called you tonight and said she needed you to go over there to help her with an emergency? You’d do that, right?”
“Yeah. What’s your point, Joel?” Chess was getting impatient with this line of questioning. He didn’t see how it had anything to do with his own ponderings.
“What if Nathan had called you a few weeks ago, had a situation and needed you to go down to Florida to help him? Would you? Even though it meant missing work?”
Chess had to think about that one. But eventually he nodded. “I guess I would.”
“You’d be willing to do all of that for your friends. For your niece. For the brother you barely know.” Joel pointed a finger at Chess. “You are one of God’s children. He loves you. Because you don’t talk to Him doesn’t mean He’s forgotten you or ignoring you. No matter what you do or don’t do, you are always worth the trouble to Him. And He’s forever hoping, one day, you might find your way to Him.” Joel must’ve sensed Chess needed time to think. “I’ll go help Anastasia with some inventory. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
Chess watched him walk away. He absentmindedly moved his cup in circles on the table.
“I have no idea what to say to You.” Great, now he was talking to himself. Thankfully no one else was nearby to hear him. Goosebumps appeared on his arms and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. “I guess I’m used to doing everything on my own. I’m not sure how great of a job I’ve done. I don’t suppose You’d like to give me a hint of what’s coming?” He paused, feeling ridiculous. “The quiet type, huh? I guess I can respect that.”
~
It was late Saturday afternoon and Chess drove a car full of people to Joel and Anna’s house. Brooke was sitting in the passenger seat while Nathan and Mia rode in the back of the cab. The little girl babbled in her car seat as she and her daddy conversed about something.
Brooke had said little, and Chess was keenly aware of her discomfort. The drive felt like it took much longer than it should have.
Anna greeted them at the door and the delectable smell of chicken parmesan welcomed them the moment they stepped inside.
“Wow. It smells amazing in here.” Nathan released Mia to Anna’s waiting arms. “Chess is always telling me about the incredible food you and Brooke cook up.”
Anna grinned. “I think it’s more of a lack of cooking skills the guys possess.” She winked playfully at Joel who was standing nearby. “Tonight’s dinner is Brooke’s recipe.”
Joel shook Chess and Nathan’s hands and gave Brooke a hug. “We’re glad to see you guys. Come on in and make yourselves comfortable.”
Twenty minutes later, they were all seated around the table eating chicken parmesan, garlic bread, and salad.
“This is great.” Nathan pointed a fork at his plate.
Brooke smiled. “We used to make it at least once a week for a long time.”
Chess watched as she took a bite of her own and nodded approvingly. It’d always been one of his favorites. Eating it brought back memories of when things were simpler.
Conversation flowed around the table. Nathan told them a little about Florida. “I’ve been teaching jiu-jitsu for almost two years now. I heard from the place in Fort Worth and I got the job as an instructor there.” He beamed. “My first day is a week from Monday.”
Everyone congratulated him on the new position. “So, will you live here or move closer?” The question came from Anna.
“I’ve rented an apartment a few blocks from work. My stuff, including my car, should arrive on Monday.”
Chess nodded. “An hour and a half to drive from here to there isn’t bad occasionally. But I wouldn’t recommend it on a daily basis. It’ll be good for you guys to be closer.” He chuckled. “And his apartment is on the bottom floor. Should be a lot easier than it was to move everything into yours, Brooke.” He gave her a playful wink.
She rolled her eyes. “Boy, that’s the truth. I’ll never live on the second floor again.”
Chess watched as Nathan held a tiny spoonful of applesauce in front of Mia. She opened her mouth wide and gobbled it right up. He was proud of Nathan and the dedication he had to his daughter. There was an immense satisfaction seeing Nathan was nothing like their father.
When they finished the meal, Joel and Anna said they’d clean up and insisted everyone else sit and visit. Chess carried a full trash bag outside. Once back in, he found Brooke and Nathan sitting on the floor with Mia lying on her back between them.
Brooke reached down and held Mia’s hand. She looked up at Nathan. “I think you’ll like Fort Worth. There’s a lot to do there.” She started telling him about her favorite restaurants and stores. “We have some great malls in the area, too.”
Nathan smiled at her. “Well, it’ll take me a while to get used to living in a different city. I barely remember Texas. The Dallas/Fort Worth area is a little overwhelming.”
“It can be. But start off getting to know Fort Worth and go from there. There are a lot of smaller communities within the metroplex.”
Chess stood in the doorway and listened as Nathan made a comment that had Brooke laughing hard. Mia reached for Brooke and she helped the baby sit on her lap. The way the three of them were interacting seemed effortless.
Chess frowned. On one hand, it was great to see his brother getting along so well with the rest of his family. At the same time, it was painful to see how at ease Brooke was with Nathan when she no longer acted that way with Chess.
What if the two of them hit it off? Mia certainly seemed comfortable with Brooke. What if Brooke and Nathan ended up dating?
Chess shoved his hands into his pockets and scowled.
Brooke noticed him, concern on her face. She stood slowly and excused herself, saying she was going to let Epic outside.
That left Chess, Nathan, and Mia in the living room. They talked for a bit, but when there was still no sign of Brooke, Chess began to worry about her. “Do you mind if I go check on something quick?”
“Not at all. I should probably change this munchkin’s diaper, anyway.” Nathan kissed his daughter’s cheek. “You have a great family, Chess. You’re a lucky guy.” He stood, got supplies, and headed for the bathroom.
Yeah, he was. Chess made his way to the back door and looked outside. Epic was wandering around in the grass while a line of dark clouds in the distance sparked with lightning. He found Brooke sitting on one of the patio chairs, her sketchbook on her lap. She was focusing on her creation, green pastel stick in hand, while she sucked on her bottom lip. She didn’t seem to notice him until his shadow fell on the paper.
Brooke jumped a little, dropping the pastel onto the grass at her feet. With a sigh, she leaned down to retrieve it.
Chess lowered himself into a nearby chair and smiled at her. “You always do that, you know.”
“Do what? Drop stuff?” She slipped the stick back into the box and closed the top.
“No. Chew on your bottom lip when you’re either concentrating or nervous.”
“Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve drawn anything. I’m trying to remember how.”
She was about to close the sketch pad when Chess leaned over and stopped her by putting a hand on the page. “May I see it?” Reluctantly, she handed it to him. “This is fantastic. It’s like you took the best aspects of Epic and combined them into one picture.”
She studied the image. Epic was lying on green grass, a tennis ball at his feet. He was staring off to the side at something he found interesting. Epic’s mouth was open, his tongue lolling, as though he were laughing. She glanced from the serene picture to the one of Epic running across the yard to pounce on a stick and drag it across the ground. She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did. He’s such a mess.”
“I’m glad you’re drawing again.”
“Thanks for the supplies. And the encouragement.” She offered him a shy smile. “You know, I was looking aro
und online. There are places where people hire artists to create book covers or story illustrations. Who knows, maybe I’ll try my hand at something like that.”
Chess studied her with admiration. “I think that’s a great idea. I have no doubt people would pay you for your work.” He gently nudged her arm with his elbow. “You never know. A year from now, I might be able to brag about being friends with the famous Brooke Pierce.” They both laughed, but he couldn’t ignore the hollowed-out place in his chest. He was glad she had plans for her future, and she deserved nothing but success. Yet there was no denying each step she took would lead her further away from him.
~
Brooke sat on the back patio with Chess and watched the storm front that steadily moved closer. The air smelled like rain and even felt damp. “They announced on the radio we’ll probably get thunderstorms tonight and all day tomorrow. Hopefully they don’t turn too severe.”
“I hope not, too. We could use the rain though.”
Brooke nodded. She glanced over as Chess turned the sketch pad and flipped through the three other images she’d drawn. He stopped when he came to an image of a rose and she flinched. That wasn’t a picture she’d wanted him to see. Even now, she could still feel the raw pain that’d torn at her chest when she’d drawn it.
Just like the roses on the bush he’d given her, this one was creamy white with light pink highlighting the outer edge of each petal. One lone drop of water dripped from it.
Chess pointed to the drop. “Is this from rain or a tear?”
She shrugged and reached for the book, closing it again and placing it on her lap. Would it make a difference to him if she said the rose was mourning the loss of things that could never be?
He cast a sideways glance at her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last week. About how God can still use me to help others even when I’m not sure I believe He exists at all. You and Joel were both originally raised in homes where you were taught about God. How do I know He’d be willing to look past all the stuff I’ve done?”
His question surprised her and she thought a moment. “Just because I’m a Christian and my mom and aunt were, too, doesn’t mean I didn’t make a lot of mistakes. I got angry at God many times through my childhood. I even refused to speak to Him when I was in my early teens. I renewed my relationship with Him after I was taken in by the Zieglers and that’s when I realized I was the one who ran away from Him. It wasn’t the other way around. All that time, He was waiting there with open arms, hoping I’d come running back to Him one day.” She raised a brow at him. “I’m anything but perfect. You of all people should know that.”
He chuckled but grew serious again. “How do I know where to find Him?”
“You talk like God’s gone away or something.” Brooke licked her dry lips. Simply being able to have this kind of conversation with Chess was an answer to prayer. Please give me the words You want me to say. “Sometimes it feels like that. I know I’ve reached points in my life where I’ve taken everything for granted. I have shelter, food, clothing, and family. It’s easy to forget God’s there when things are going my way. Then something bad happens, and I don’t see God where I think He should be.” She paused. “That’s how I felt after my accident. I wondered why He didn’t have me leave the house a couple minutes later, or make the guy see the red light in time. It’s easy to start freaking out, worrying He’s left us to fend for ourselves. When all along He’s right there, a breath away.”
She twisted some hair around a finger and then turned a little in her chair toward Chess. “I could blame God for the car accident and all the ways it might have been avoided. Or I could praise Him that I wasn’t killed, and I’ll recover from all my injuries. I can be thankful there was no one sitting in the passenger seat that night.” Brooke resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. “You don’t have to find him, Chess. All you have to do is look up and you’ll see He’s been there all along.”
“It would be a lot easier if we could see the whole picture.” Chess stared out at the grass. Lightning jumped from one cloud to another and the green blades blew back and forth, completely at the mercy of the wind that kicked up in the last minute or two.
“It would.” Brooke clutched her sketch book and pastels to her. “It’d be easier, but then where would the adventure be?”
Chess turned toward her, a small smile lighting up his face. “True.” A gust of wind came through and the first large raindrops fell, creating dark patterns on the concrete slab. “We’d better get inside before this starts coming down and we get soaked.”
Back inside, they enjoyed the banana pudding Brooke made and brought over. The whole time, she continued to pray God was somehow working in Chess’s mind and heart, drawing Chess to Him.
Chapter Seventeen
Chess sat in his truck below Brooke’s apartment on Monday, trying to decide whether he should go see her as planned, or turn around and go home. The box of pastels Brooke dropped on the floorboard of his truck now sat in the passenger seat. They must have fallen out of her bag when he drove her home last night. If she wasn’t missing them yet, she would be soon.
His mind made up, he reached for those and the other items he’d seen at the store this morning. Even though he wasn’t sure he should’ve bought them for Brooke, they’d screamed her name and he couldn’t resist.
Determined to squash his nerves, he took the steps two at a time and knocked on her door. She answered moments later, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and flour dusting one of her cheeks.
Chess bit back a smile. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.” His gaze darted to her apartment and back to her face. “Can I come in for a minute?”
She seemed surprised but stepped to the side allowing him to enter. Her apartment smelled of chicken and chocolate: an interesting combination. He handed her the box of pastels. “I found these by the front door at Joel’s last night. I figured you might need them.”
Brooke’s eyes widened. “I didn’t realize they’d fallen out of my bag. Thank you so much.” She took them and set them on the counter. “I haven’t had time to draw anything today. Are you back at work?”
“I took another couple of days off. We’re between projects, so it was a good time to use some of the vacation I’d saved up.” Chess noted the mixing bowls on the counter in the kitchen. “What are you making?”
She dusted her hands off on her pants. “I’m mixing up a batch of chocolate banana bread right now. And I’m throwing together a chicken enchilada casserole to take to Nathan the day after tomorrow, that way he doesn’t have to cook the first day or two he’s at his new place.”
Chess tried to ignore the immediate pang of jealousy at the thought of Brooke cooking for his brother. There was nothing wrong with it and something he knew she’d do for any of them, too. She was thoughtful that way. He nodded and forced a smile. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. He’s already mentioned how much he’s enjoying the authentic Mexican food around here.”
Brooke flashed him a grin.
He remembered the other items he’d brought. “I saw these at the store this morning when I stopped to get a few things, and I couldn’t pass them up.”
She held a hand out, and he gave her the expert level adult coloring book and a box of colored pencils. He tapped the title of the book. “I looked through this and apparently, it’s designed for artists who might want to get more detailed when they color. I thought it might be a good way to relax or clear your mind.”
Brooke thumbed through the pages, the corners of her mouth pulling upward. “This is neat, Chess. Thanks.”
“You bet.”
He watched as Brooke took a couple of steps to lay the book and pencils on the counter. “Aren’t you going to go help Nathan unload the truck at his apartment this afternoon?”
“We’re not sure when the truck will arrive. He’s supposed to text me. I’ll head that way in an hour or so, anyway.” Chess’s attention was again drawn to the flou
r on her cheeks and the way a few tendrils of hair had escaped the pony tail and hung in wisps on either side of her face.
“What?” Her voice was squeaky as she put one hand on her face self-consciously.
Chess chuckled and reached for a towel that was hanging up just inside the kitchen. “You’ve got flour right here.” He gently used the fabric to brush the white particles from her smooth skin.
When he finished, she didn’t step back, and he didn’t want to move, either. He ought to give them the space he knew they probably needed. But then she lifted her chin and looked at him. He could drown in those gorgeous eyes.
“Chess…”
His lips found hers in a kiss that launched his pulse into a gallop. One of his hands cupped the back of her neck while his other arm went around her waist. He tightened his hold on her, breathing in her scent and memorizing everything about the way she felt in his arms. What began as a gentle kiss turned to one filled with desperation and tenderness, a strange combination born of emotions that had been buried for far too long. With her hands clasped behind his neck, it made him want all the things he knew he couldn’t have. Shouldn’t have. Especially with Brooke.
Life was too unstable. What if something happened to his job, and she’d be forced to work to help support their family? What if she grew to resent that about him like his own mother had his father? The thought of failing Brooke in any way shattered the bubble of perfection that had momentarily cradled them both.
He broke the kiss and placed another on her forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” She lifted her chin and her eyes snapped open. “Don’t you dare, Chess.” Tears filled those brown orbs, creating molten pools of chocolate. She shook her head in disbelief.
“Brooke.”
“No.” She pushed away from him and spun. She placed her palms on the counter and leaned into it. “I told you what I want. You know I need forever. A family.” She spun around, her brows drawn together in a mix of hurt and anger. “You said you couldn’t give that to me. But I’ve seen you around Mia. You’re amazing with her. You’d be an incredible father. I can’t help but wonder…” Her eyes drifted shut, her face contorting in pain. “I can’t help but wonder if it’s specifically me you don’t want.”
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