The List

by Sherri L. Lewis

  He kissed me on my forehead. And then my right cheek. And then my left cheek. And then a soft, sweet kiss on the lips. And then he pulled me into another hug.

  I kissed his cheek and leaned my head against his shoulder. We both sighed at the same time and then laughed.

  “I better go.” I pulled away from him and opened the car door.

  “Yeah, you better.” He stood back as I got into the car, then closed the door behind me.

  Before I left, he said, “God is going to work this out quickly. Don’t even bother to look for another job. You’re going back to BTV with a promotion. Until you get the phone call, relax and have fun, okay? No worries.”

  I eyed him to see whether he was being encouraging, but he had such a conviction in his eyes, I took it as a word from God. I nodded. “Okay. No worries.”

  He grinned. “I’m making myself available to show you the time of your life until you go back to work. Call me when you wake up.”

  I smiled and started up the car. “Good night, Isaiah. Thanks again.”

  twenty-seven

  Of course, I called Isaiah as soon as I woke up. And, of course, we hung out again. In fact, for the next few days, we were almost inseparable.

  On Tuesday night, we went to the jam session at Sugar Hill, then stayed out until about four in the morning at IHOP, talking. I slept most of Wednesday. Then he cooked dinner for me at his house, and we went to the jam session at Apache and stayed out until about three in the morning.

  On Thursday, I caught up on sleep until early evening, and then we went back to Nigel’s house for another jam session. Everywhere we went, Isaiah was well-loved and knew everybody. We got in free everywhere, and the bartenders wouldn’t even let him pay for our sodas. He performed each night, and I felt myself falling further and further.

  On Friday afternoon, after recovering from another late night out, I sat in the middle of my bed, trying to sort out my feelings. It seemed too easy for Isaiah to stroll into my life, just like that, and be the one. I needed to talk to God about it. We hadn’t talked much over the past few days. I realized spending so much time with Isaiah had me spending less time with God.

  “So, God, what do you think of Isaiah?”

  After I said it, it seemed like a dumb question. I could imagine God saying, “He’s my son. I love him. What do you think?”

  I rephrased my question. “What do you think of Isaiah for me?” I thought of the prayer Lisa said her friend had prayed. “God, I really like him a lot. But you know him, and you know me. I ask that if he’s not Your best for me, that You reveal it. Bring this thing to a screeching halt. Expose whatever it is I need to know about him to realize he’s not the one. If he is the one, make us grow closer and closer. In Jesus’ name.” I thought about Angela and added one last thought. “And if he is the one, please show me how to keep it holy. My relationship with You is more important than anything, and as much as I want to get married and have babies, it’s not worth losing You.”

  I lay back on the bed. He didn’t say anything. Of course, with me feeling so giddy and mushy, yet scared and confused inside, it would be difficult for me to hear anything if He did talk. I had to trust that the circumstances would work out.

  I tried to pray about my job, but it was another one of those times where God didn’t answer but I felt His peace. Isaiah’s words flooded my spirit. It wouldn’t be long before I had my job back with a promotion. “I hope that’s true, God. I hope I haven’t been foolishly falling in love when I should have been looking for a new job.”

  A week wouldn’t hurt though. After the financial devastation of my divorce, I had lived poor for a while so I could save money. I planned never to be desperate and broke again. I could live for a good six months without working.

  I awoke about an hour later to my cell phone ringing. It was Erika’s office line. I answered it quickly. “Yeah, girl. What’s up?”

  “You lazy bum. You sound like you were ’sleep. Get up, get dressed and get here. Ms. Carter wants to talk to you.”

  In less than an hour, I walked into Ms. Carter’s office. Quite unlike her character, she greeted me with a hug. Her confident smile was back. She gestured for me to take a seat.

  “Michelle, I have to say thank you. You challenged me to do the right thing, and I really got to see God in action. Like you said, He worked everything out for our good and for the good of the station. I will continue as VP of programming, and everything will go forward as planned with the fall lineup. I won’t go into the particulars, but know that Rayshawn is no longer a part of BTV.”

  My eyes widened.

  Ms. Carter nodded. “I trust you had a good little vacation, because it’s time to get back to work. I hope you’re up for the added responsibility, because I’m going to have you finish your shows as senior producer. Mark will answer any questions if you need him to, but for the most part, you’re on your own. Think you can handle it?”

  “Yes . . . yes, ma’am . . .” I couldn’t believe it. Exactly what Isaiah said was unfolding before me. “I can handle it.”

  “Good. Well then, get to work. You’re four days behind schedule.” She smiled and stood to shake my hand. “Michelle, thanks again. I learned a lot from you challenging me to seek God’s will. I know He’s got a great future planned for you. Who knows, you may be the one to take my spot when I retire in five years. Imagine how big the station will be by that time. Like you said, for such a time as this . . .”

  I smiled. “Thanks, Ms. Carter. I appreciate Him giving me such a great mentor to learn from.” She gave me another hug, and I left her office.

  When I got to my office, Jason was there waiting for me. He gave me a big hug. “Welcome back. It was weird being here without you.”

  What was it with everyone and the hugging today? “Thanks, Jason. Glad to be back.”

  “Congrats. I heard the news. I told you it wouldn’t be long.”

  Erika came rushing in. “Hey, girl. Or should I say senior producer?” She gave me a hug. “Girl, we missed you. You must have been doing some serious praying. I’m glad God listens to you. Maybe I need to give you a list of things to pray about for me.”

  I laughed.

  Jason’s cell phone rang. He frowned. “It’s my daughters’ school. I’ll be right back.” He answered the phone on the way out of my office.

  Erika sat down in my office chair. “Okay, I know you hate gossip, but this is good gossip. Did you hear what happened?”

  “Ms. Carter told me that everything is as it should be. She’ll continue on as VP, I’m being promoted to senior producer, and Rayshawn is no longer here.”

  Erika shook her head and rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed by my lack of information. “Girl, Let me give you the whole scoop. Ms. Carter and the other VP’s got together and decided they needed to get rid of Rayshawn to keep the station from going straight to hell. They scheduled a meeting with the board and the other station owners and told them what was going on. They decided that Rayshawn’s relationship with the station owner was jeopardizing everything we’ve all worked hard for. They met with the station owner and convinced him that his lack of judgment was a risk to everything they had planned the station to be. They strongly recommended that he sell his interest in the station and move on to avoid legal proceedings.”

  Erika leaned forward in the chair like she did when the gossip got good to her. “And he agreed. He’s usually an arrogant, stubborn man who doesn’t like to be told what to do, but he signed the papers without putting up a fight.”

  All I could do was nod.

  “So, yesterday, Ms. Carter called Rayshawn in and told her she was no longer needed at BTV. Girl, she lost the last little piece of mind she had left. Security had to drag her out kicking and screaming. The only reason she didn’t get arrested was Ms. Carter told them not to.”

  My mouth fell open.

  “Yeah, girl. It was crazy.” Erika was obviously pleased that her gossip was getting a good response. “Here’
s the real kicker. Do you know what made Ms. Carter set up all the meetings in the first place?”

  For some reason, I felt the need to prove to Erika that I knew something about something. “I talked to her before I left and told her to fight the changes Rayshawn was trying to bring.”

  “That might have been part of it, but there was more.” Erika popped her head out the door, looked right and left and then shut my door and sat down. “Like I said, this is good gossip. After you got sent home, Jason got upset—mad really. He went to Rayshawn’s office and got into it with her real bad. I’ve never seen him like that. Can you imagine Jason yelling? Anyway, she ended up grabbing him and trying to kiss him or some madness like that.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Yeah, girl. Completely crazy. Jason marched to Ms. Carter’s office and told her about it and all the times Rayshawn tried to sex him up in the past. He said that if something wasn’t done about her, he’d be filing sexual harassment charges against her. Then he got together with some of the editors and producers, and they all decided that if Rayshawn took over, everybody would walk out all at once. There was no way we could have shows ready by fall, and the station would go down. You should have seen him.”

  I was floored. Jason had risked his job to save mine? Knowing he had two daughters to feed and debt from his ex-wife hanging over his head? It was more than saving my job, though. It was about saving the station.

  “Erika, how do you know all this stuff? Do you have every office in this place bugged?”

  “Girl, don’t ask me about my sources. If I tell you, I have to kill you.”

  We both laughed.

  “Well, girl, we better get back to work. We got some days to make up,” I said.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’s getting to it. Congratulations, Michelle. And thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For being a good example. Watching the way God works things out for you makes me wonder if I should try to do better. You know, be a Christian and pray and go to church and all that stuff. If it works for you, it might just work for me. God knows I can use some changes in my life.”

  I hugged her. “He’s got you, Erika. More than you know. And you’re welcome to come to church with me anytime. Let me know.”

  “I will,” Erika said as she turned and left my office.

  Jason came back in. “Sorry about that. Cameron’s teacher called. She got sick and threw up all over the place. I hate to cut out now, but I need to go pick her up.”

  “Sure, Jason. No problem. And thanks. Erika told me what you did. I think you’re crazy, risking your job like that, but I’m grateful that you did.”

  “Yeah, I guess all your talk about changing black television has gotten to me. I couldn’t let it go down like that. No telling what kinda stuff we would have been producing with Rayshawn in charge. And I didn’t like the thought of working here without you. We need you.”

  I felt my face turning red. “Thanks, Jason. I hope Cameron is okay. Call me if you need anything.” Not that I would know what to do with a sick child.

  “I will. Thanks.”

  After he left, I sat at my desk for a few minutes. God, You never cease to amaze me. Thanks. I promise I’ll make You proud.

  I picked up the phone to call Isaiah.

  When he answered, he said, “I see you’re calling me from your office phone. I take that to mean God did exactly what He promised.”

  “Yep. It happened just like you said. You’re speaking to the newest senior producer at BTV.” I explained how everything went down. Without thinking, I told him about Jason’s part in it.

  “I told you he liked you.”

  I couldn’t tell whether he was amused or annoyed. “It wasn’t about him liking me, Isaiah. It was about the station. He didn’t want to work for Rayshawn and watch the station go downhill.”

  “Okay. If that’s the way you see it. Anyway, congratulations. I’m proud of you and happy for you. I knew God would work it out. I’m glad I got some time in with you when I could. You’ll be working overtime now, huh?”

  “Yeah, things are about to get pretty busy. I’d still like to spend time with you, though. Maybe late tomorrow afternoon?”

  “Can’t tomorrow. I’m moving.”

  “Moving?” I got up to close my door then sat back down at my desk. “You sold your house?”

  “My house?” He laughed. “That’s not my house. You thought that was my house? No way.”

  “No way? What do you . . . it’s not . . .”

  He laughed again. “I guess I should have explained. It’s my sister’s house. I was house-sitting for her while she and her family are in Nigeria visiting my parents. They’ve been gone for a month and didn’t want to leave their house empty. They have enough room for me to stay there when they get back, but me and her husband don’t get along. He thinks I’m a bum that doesn’t want to work and support myself. He’s always making some cracks about me living off people.”

  My head was spinning. “So that’s her house? And her Hummer?” I winced as I realized I sounded like a gold-digger.

  “Yeah. I can’t believe you thought they were mine. I told you I wasn’t a materialistic person attached to stuff like that. Why would I say that if I owned that big house and that obnoxious car?”

  “I wondered that myself. It didn’t seem to fit.” As a sinking feeling settled into my stomach, I remembered my prayer that morning. “So, where are you moving to?”

  “Nigel’s place. The house I took you to in Buckhead. He’s been trying to get me to move there for months, but I wouldn’t because Sanitha was staying there—the girl with the Mohawk you met. She’s leaving for New York and is moving out this weekend. So God worked things out for me perfectly because my sister and her family will be back Sunday evening.”

  I sat there silent, processing everything.

  “Michelle?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. I’m . . . just thinking . . .”

  “That’s why I told you about my lifestyle on our first date. You seemed okay with it. Is this a problem?” He sounded worried.

  “It’s not a problem. It’s . . . not what I expected.”

  “I see. You thought I was some rich musician with a huge house and fancy car. Does this change things between us? I’d still like to see you. I’m enjoying getting to know you.”

  “I’m enjoying getting to know you too, Isaiah.” Erika buzzed my other phone line. “I need to take this call. I promise I’ll call soon. Or you call me when you’re finished moving, and we can get together.”

  “Okay.” He sounded hopeful again. “We’ll talk about this more when I see you. Okay?”

  “Yeah. That sounds good. Talk to you soon.”

  twenty-eight

  Isaiah must have been nervous about our conversation, because he called and sent text messages several times the rest of the day, and the next, asking if we could meet to talk. When he called for the millionth time Saturday evening, I finally answered the phone.

  “Hey, Isaiah.” I tried to tell myself that I ignored all his calls because I was busy, and not because I was no longer interested in him because he was broke.

  “You answered. I wondered if you had written me off for good.”

  “Been crazy busy, getting back into the swing of things at work.” I sat at my desk in my messy office at home, thumbing through a script I was working on for a Destiny’s Child episode. I hated bringing work home but needed to get the show moving.

  “Oh. I’m glad to hear that.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “So, I still want to see you. To talk.” He sounded hopeful and defeated. Made me wonder how many times he had been through this with women who initially fell hard for him then balked when they found out about his financial situation.

  “You said you were moving today, so I didn’t think it was good for you.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, well, moving for me is not a big deal. It’s not like I have a lot of stuff. Just clothes, book
s, and instruments really . . .” His voice trailed off like he wished he hadn’t shared that information.

  “It’s late now. How about tomorrow after church?” I planned to spend the whole day working to get Destiny’s Child to the point where we could start shooting. “I need to work most of the day, but I could squeeze in an hour or two after service.”

  “I’m being squeezed in, huh?” He tried to laugh, but his voice sounded sad.

  “It’s not like that, Isaiah.” I decided to lighten things up. “In fact, this is your fault. You’re the one who prayed for me to get my job back with a promotion, so now I have to pay the price for it.”

  “My fault, huh?” His laugh was a little brighter. “Okay. I’ll take that. What time is service over?”

  “I’m going to early service so I can have most of the day to work, so about ten thirty. Where do you want to meet?”

  “Uh . . . well . . . I left my sister’s car at her house, so . . . uh, unless you want to pick me up to take me somewhere, we should probably meet here at Nigel’s.”

  “Oh.” My silence said everything.

  “Is that okay?”

  I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. “Sure. No problem at all. I think I remember how to get there.” You don’t have a car. How lame is that? “I’ll be there at ten thirty. Eleven at the latest.”

  “Cool. Looking forward to seeing you.”

  “Yeah . . . uh, me too, Isaiah.”

  Lisa agreed to meet me for early service. I hated going to church alone. I knew better than to ask Nicole. There was no way she was getting out of bed early enough on a Sunday morning to get to 8:00 service.

  Lisa met me at our usual section in the middle. We sat chatting for a few minutes—mostly her pointing out cute guys—when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Jason standing there, flanked by his two daughters.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” I said without thinking.

  “Why do you always ask me that when you see me at church? Do I act like that much of a heathen at work?”