On Christmas Day

by Rosie James

  He grinned. ‘I’d risk being homesick! Anyway, I’d probably start with this country at the beginning.’ He sighed briefly ‘But that’s my distant dream, Lexi – because I’ve got to go to college and learn all about the construction industry and investments and town panning … but I’ll write every week, and you’ll write back, won’t you? Tell me what’s going on – especially about your singing?’

  Lexi turned to face him. ‘I’m really going to miss you, Johnny,’ she said slowly, and he returned her gaze.

  ‘I realize my father doesn’t know how to make people feel welcome, but Anna does, doesn’t she, Lexi? You do like Anna, don’t you?’

  ‘I do, and so does my mother,’ Lexi said at once. There was no need to add that when she was younger she’d thought Anna looked a bit like a headmistress with her brownhair in a stern bun, and always with a pair of glasses on the end of her nose. But it hadn’t taken Lexi long to realize how kind the housekeeper was, and that she loved the boys and they loved her.

  Presently, the two went downstairs and into the kitchen. Anna was dozing in her basket chair by the stove and as they tiptoed past she jumped up as if she’d been stung.

  ‘Oh, my good heavens!’ she cried. ‘I didn’t hear you come down … you gave me such a fright!’

  Johnny walked Lexi back to the cottage and he grinned down at her. ‘Poor Anna,’ he said. ‘he was probably dreaming about our ghost. She only found out from someone last week that we have one at Grey Gables and she’s been jumpy ever since.’

  ‘Have you ever seen the Grey Lady?’ Lexi asked curiously, and Johnny sniggered.

  ‘No, of course not. Ghosts don’t exist,’ he replied. ‘When Alfred and I first heard about it at school a long time ago and asked my father about it he was so cross! Told us to grow up and not to believe such nonsense. And then, when Anna asked him about it last week he was absolutely furious because he could see that she really thought it was true! To calm her nerves he had to sit her down and pour her a glass of brandy!’

  Chapter Six

  Cecilia hummed a little tune to herself as she worked away on her sewing machine. This was the latest set of pillow cases she was mending for the Pulteney Hotel, and soon Lexi could deliver them back and pick up the money Cecilia charged for the job. This never amounted to more than a few shillings but with her laundry earnings and the fairly regular income she earned at Grey Gables, they got by well enough.

  She paused for a moment to ease her shoulders, then stood up to make herself a cup of tea. Phoebe and Joe were out at the back playing, and Lexi was staying another hour at the shop this afternoon because Miss Lewis had a doctor’s appointment.

  As she waited for the kettle to boil Cecilia admitted that she relied heavily on her older daughter, who’d always been such a responsible child, taking far more on her young shoulders than she should have to, and not just for practical things. She always seemed to know when she, Cecilia, was feeling down. Perhaps, in a way, taking Albert’s place. But it wasn’t fair, was it – to place that sort of emotional burden on a child? Cecilia had always wanted her children to be free and happy to enjoy their young lives. She herself had been forced to grow up far too early and could barely remember being a child.

  And now, time seemed to be running through Cecilia’s fingers like water from a tap she couldn’t turn off, and she could feel the hour fast approaching when she would not be needed so much. And the thought terrified her. To be needed, and loved, was what kept her going every single day, accentuated by the fact that her husband clearly did not fulfil either of those requirements. Well, she supposed that Albert did love her, but he had a funny way of showing it, and he certainly did not need her, had never needed her. He was perfectly happy living the solitary life with just himself to think about, himself to please.

  When Lexi returned, she found Cecilia sitting in her chair with her head sunk low on her chest as she dozed. Lexi sighed inwardly. The pile of newly mended clothes on the table must have taken her mother all day to finish, and she’d be leaving for the laundry in a couple of hours. Working day and night was just too much for anyone, but what could they do? What could she, Lexi, do? Well, what she could do was present herself at the Guildhall. She’d been putting it off and putting it off until she was sure she knew every song by heart.

  Looking down at her mother, Lexi felt so helpless and frustrated she could have screamed. It was all very well helping out as much as she could with everything, but she was not making enough money!

  Early the following morning Lexi said – ‘Before I come home, Mama, I’ll pop down to the bakery for some fresh bread.’ Cecilia smiled but didn’t look up from her chair. It had been a very long night, and she hadn’t got home until 5 o’clock

  ‘Yes, we could do with another loaf,’ she said, then – ‘I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes before I give Phoebe and Joe their breakfast, then later on I’m going down to help Anna. I haven’t got much mending today, thank goodness, but they’re still spring-cleaning at Grey Gables and I said I’d go down for an hour or two.’ She yawned. ‘The chimney sweep has been there for two days, and it takes time to get rid of the dust and all the cobwebs hanging down from those high ceilings, and to wash the architraves and skirting boards. Then we’ll tackle the curtains – if we’ve got any energy left.’

  Lexi glanced back at her mother. If Cecilia had noticed that Lexi was wearing her best skirt and top, she hadn’t said anything. Lexi knew that to present herself well was the first step if she was to succeed in her mission. She’d certainly taken extra trouble with her appearance that morning, and had taken a very long time to brush out her hair until it shone even brighter than usual.

  Later that morning, as soon as Miss Lewis had taken over at the sweet shop, Lexi made her way down the town to the Guildhall, bracing herself as she went up the steps towards the huge, polished entrance doors of the auspicious building. Inside, she caught her breath … she had never set foot inside the place before and its vastness took her by surprise. The overhead lighting made everything shine with a magical glow, and the huge vases of fresh flowers everywhere made it look even posher than Grey Gables.

  The uniformed commissionaire behind the reception desk looked up as Lexi went forward.

  ‘Can I help you?’ he said.

  Lexi cleared her throat. ‘Yes please. I would like to see Mr. Larson, if possible,’ she said.

  There was a moment’s pause. ‘May I ask what this is about?’

  ‘It concerns entertaining guests,’ she began hesitantly, then gaining some courage from somewhere went on quickly. ‘Mr. Larson knows me and he said he would like me to … to … sing at the Pump Room, and I would like that very much indeed. I have a large repertoire and I am used to singing in public’ – well, in school and carolling – ‘and Mr. Larson asked me to come for an audition as soon as possible.’

  ‘Oh, really?’ the commissionaire said, obviously not believing her. ‘Mr. Larson is a very busy man,’ he said, sitting back and folding his arm., ‘I very much doubt that he is available this morning.’

  The coolness of the man’s attitude sent Lexi’s heart plummeting, when miraculously Mr. Larson appeared from somewhere inside and immediately recognized her.

  ‘Oh good! There you are my dear young lady!’ he said. ‘You have chosen the perfect day because the pianist is here this morning and will hear you now! Follow me, follow me!’

  The commissionaire’s eyes widened in disbelief, and to hid his embarrassment he suddenly found something very important to attend to beneath his feet.

  Remembering just in time to pick up the loaf she’d promised to buy, Lexi ran back home, her cheeks aflame with excitement. She had done it! She and Dada had done it! Oh, if only he were home to hear the news!

  Arriving at the cottage, Lexi paused before opening the door. Her mother knew nothing of this because Lexi had been afraid to tell her – but now she would have to know – though probably not until later when Cecilia had returned from Grey
Gables.

  But Cecilia was still home. ‘Oh – you’re a bit late today, Lexi,’ she said. ‘Were there a lot of customers? I’ll make you some tea and toast before I go – you sit down for a bit.’

  Cecilia glanced at her daughter – who did look rather flushed – thinking that if she had her way, Lexi would still be at school, not getting up and going out so early and working all those hours, even if the money Lexi sometimes insisted on giving towards the rent was very useful.

  As she spread jam on her toast, Lexi said carefully, ‘Mama, would you make me a dress? A new party dress? I grew out of my green one a long time ago – it nearly fits Phoebe now.’

  Cecilia reached for her coat, raising her eyes. ‘Why do you want a party dress? There’s a long way to go before Christmas.’

  Screwing up her courage, Lexi went straight to the point. Without giving her mother a chance to interrupt, she explained about the Councillor having heard her sing carols and how he had said that he would like her to perform to guests at the Pump Room while they were taking their refreshments and that she’d just had an audition at the Guildhall and finally, most importantly – that they would like her to start in September.

  ‘It was so exciting, Mama, and I wasn’t a bit nervous because the pianist was so kind and it didn’t matter that I don’t sing from music because he knew all my songs and as soon as I started singing he just followed me! It was like magic … and they will pay me a fee! I am actually going to be paid to sing, Mama, can you believe it! I am so excited!’ Lexi giggled, slightly hysterically. Well, it had been quite a morning. ‘I think I had better get something bigger to put all my money in, Mama, because I can hardly shut the lid on my shoe box!’

  For a few moments Cecilia stood there hardly knowing what to say. Would her daughter ever stop her endless quest for money, to be rich? And would Lexi ever understand that they were already rich … they didn’t need the big house she said she was going to buy them one day, because they had everything already, a roof over their heads, enough to eat and drink and a little bit over. As a family they were all well dressed, and the children never went without their sweets.

  ‘Well, before this goes any further, I hope you’ve thought it through, Lexi,’ Cecilia said firmly. ‘Before you get involved … I mean, how will you have time to sing at the Pump Room? I happen to know that guests are entertained morning and afternoon. How will you fit everything in? You have enough on your plate with the shop and helping me.’

  ‘Oh, I’ll fit everything in, don’t you worry Mama,’ Lexi said quickly. ‘I’ll always do the housework – there’s plenty of time between my shifts – and Phoebe goes to school by herself, now, because we’re so much closer.’ Lexi paused for breath. ‘I won’t neglect anything, I promise!’

  Cecilia stared down at her daughter for a moment. Then – ‘Why didn’t you tell me about this before, Lexi?’ she said slowly, and Lexi swallowed.

  ‘Because I knew you would object, Mama,’ she said quietly, ‘and I didn’t want anything to put me off while I was singing. I wanted to think about all the notes and words Dada has taught me, and not worry about anything else.’ She looked away for a moment. ‘I know you have my best interests at heart, Mama, but please don’t spoil this for me … please?’

  Cecilia bit her lip, hard. That remark hurt – she would never want to spoil anything for any of her children.

  Anyway, why shouldn’t Lexi have a new dress? She was a good daughter, surely she deserved something new to wear, whatever the reason.

  Cecilia turned to leave. ‘We’ll go to the market tomorrow, Lexi,’ she said, ‘after your morning shift at the shop. What colour do you have in mind for your new dress?’

  It was Friday, the 22nd of May and Alfred had come home again. Lexi was going to pop in to Grey Gables for half an hour so that she and Johnny could finish his jigsaw. They’d done it once already and had set themselves a target of halving the time it had taken them, but Anna was complaining that she needed her huge tray back.

  Now, Lexi tapped quietly on the back door and straightaway Johnny appeared. ‘Come in, Lexi,’ he said, ‘Anna has just made a sponge cake for tea because Alfred’s arrived so you’ve come at the right moment.’

  He’d hardly finished speaking when the door to the hall opened and Alfred appeared. For a few seconds Lexi hardly recognized him.

  He seemed so much taller than the last time she’d seen him – he hadn’t been around much at Christmas and had been away on a trip at Easter. He hadn’t bothered to change out of his grey college suit and smart shirt and tie, and his dark hair, falling casually over his forehead, made him look sophisticated and devil-may-care. And handsome.

  Lexi swallowed. ‘Hello Alfred,’ she said uncertainly, and he immediately came over and put his arms lightly around her waist.

  ‘Well, hello to you, Miss Martin,’ he drawled in a deeply masculine voice. ‘We haven’t seen each other for months, have we? And Miss Lexi Martin is no longer the little girl I thought I knew. You are looking very lovely, I must say.’

  Lexi completely lost her tongue as he gazed down at her, and she could feel the warmth of his hands through her fine cotton skirt. –‘Well … thank you, kind sir,’ she said, feeling his hands press her more tightly. ‘Yes, it has been some time, hasn’t it,’ she murmured, not pulling away. ‘You’ve changed.’

  Then she suddenly moved away, feeling embarrassed. Why was he being silly? And why was she responding? She was Lexi and he was Alfred and they’d known each other for ages. Yet suddenly he wasn’t quite the person she knew after all and he’d made her feel different just then…. She looked over at Johnny whose face had gone bright red, and before anyone could say anything else Anna spoke up firmly.

  ‘Come along, the three of you,’ she said, ‘have a slice of this while it’s still warm. The tea’s made.’

  ‘Bags I sit next to Lexi,’ Alfred said, grinning down at her. ‘I’m on a short holiday from an all-male college, remember, and am in sore need of some female company.’

  ‘Kindly bring the pot over from the stove for me, Alfred, please,’ Anna said, trying not to glare at him as she spoke, but as soon as he’d set foot in the house an hour ago it was obvious that he’d been drinking. She could smell it. So that’s what private education did for you! And now he was trying to flirt with little Lexi. Anna shot him another glance as she poured out the tea. Not very long ago she’d have told Mr Alfred McCann to behave himself, but after all he was going on nineteen. What did she expect?

  Anna sighed briefly as she passed them their tea. They were all growing up so fast.

  Later, as they went together on the rounds, Johnny said – ‘Well, at least one of us is pleased to see my brother home. The pair of you were getting on like a house on fire.’

  Lexi immediately coloured up – hardly able to deny it because it was true that Alfred had paid her more attention than usual, and she’d responded. It had made her feel funny inside when he’d put his hands on her hips like that. And it was obvious that Anna hadn’t liked his attitude. She had never put up with any showing off from her two boys, and Alfred had definitely been showing off.

  Now, Lexi caught hold of Johnny’s hand, and for the first time ever she felt him pull away from her. ‘Oh, that was just Alfred being silly,’ she said. ‘It didn’t mean anything. Well, it didn’t mean anything to me, but it was difficult for me, Johnny,’ she went on, trying to make amends. ‘Alfred insisted on sitting next to me at the table and saying soppy things. What could I have done?’

  ‘You were obviously enjoying every moment,’ Johnny said sulkily. ‘You were like two love birds! And don’t deny it because I could tell, and so could Anna. If looks could have killed she’d have done my brother in!’

  They continued on the rounds, not saying much, but Lexi having to silently admit that Alfred’s suave, self-satisfied manner had, briefly, put him on a sort of pedestal. She glanced up at Johnny. After he’d been to that college, would he eventually come back the same as
his brother? Confident and self-assured? Because around the tea table earlier it had all been about Alfred McCann. No one else got a word in. In a few years would Johnny turn out the same?

  With all the rents collected, Lexi didn’t go back to Grey Gables with Johnny. Mr McCann was definitely going to be there because Alfred was home, so the two parted company with hardly another word. And Johnny just said ‘cheerio,’ not even looking back, which made Lexi feel worse than ever.

  Later, sitting at home with her mother, Lexi gave Cecilia a side-long glance. ‘Alfred was really stupid this afternoon, Mama, saying how lovely I looked and that he was tired of all-male company and did I want to go to town with him later because he knew the best places.’ Lexi made a face. ‘He didn’t stop bragging the whole time I was there, saying how good he was at everything. I could see that Anna was really annoyed with him.’

  Cecilia pursed her lips. ‘Oh yes, Anna has told me about that young man more than once, she thinks he’s heading for trouble because he’s headstrong and unreliable. Even Mr McCann is getting worried about him.’

  ‘Well thank goodness Johnny is not a bit like him,’ Lexi said quickly. ‘I know he was really embarrassed at Alfred’s behaviour. At one point I thought Johnny was going to punch his brother on the nose!’

  Cecilia looked across at Lexi. ‘Just remember that they are a completely different set of people down there, Lexi, they are not like us and we are certainly not like them, and never can be.’

  ‘But Johnny’s not like Alfred, nor like Mr McCann,’ Lexi protested. ‘Johnny is like one of us, you know he is! That’s why he always likes being with us here.’

  ‘Yes, Johnny is a nice lad,’ Cecilia agreed. ‘But he’s made out of the same mould as the others and that’s what counts in the end. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. People like them have different values, different expectations. They are of a different class. We only know them well because I’ve always worked at Grey Gables. Folk like us are the employed, people like the McCanns are the employers, that’s the difference, and nothing will ever change it.’ She shrugged briefly. ‘Johnny will go away to college and will grow up – and grow away – quickly. It’s inevitable.’