Through a Dark Glass

by Barb Hendee

* * * *

  The days flowed past, one into the next. We spent most days on the water aboard the Iris. Sometimes, the men would take smaller boats and fish with long poles.

  In the late afternoons, Kai and I walked the beach, so he could put more weight on his leg in the soft but heavy sand. Emily and Kieran often came with us, and occasionally, Uncle Andre.

  One day, Kieran asked how the injury had happened, and Kai told him. Both Kieran and Emily’s eyes widened at the story. Kai lived in a very different world from their own.

  But after several weeks of this, I began to notice a marked improvement in his limp.

  One morning, I woke up to realize we’d been living in the cottage for over a month, and autumn was setting in. When Kai arose to get dressed, he walked from our bed to his travel chest, and I barely noticed him favoring his right leg.

  There was a chill in the air. Summer had ended.

  After breakfast, as we all stepped outside, Uncle Andre smelled the breeze. “Everyone should bring coats today. The weather may turn.”

  Emily and I ran back inside to get all the coats.

  That day, I think Uncle Andre simply wanted to be out on the sea. He told us not to bother with the nets and to enjoy the coming autumn.

  Then he got out the largest fishing pole I’d ever seen. It was as thick as my wrist and sported a reel. When he stood by the rail and cast out the baited line, the pole stretched well out over the water. The line was almost as thick as twine

  “This cooler weather is good for Scarlet-Fish to rise,” he explained.

  “Scarlet-Fish?” Kai asked.

  “Great fish as long as a man, with red scales. I only caught one once, and he managed to pull the pole out of my hands.”

  “Are they a delicacy?”

  “Gods no.” Uncle Andre laughed. “Their flesh tastes like ash, but there are more than a few nobles and rich merchants willing to pay a small fortune to mount one on a wall.”

  Listening to this, I tried not to show disapproval. To me, it seemed a waste to kill such a creature only to use it as a wall decoration.

  “What should I do today?” Kai asked.

  Clearly, Uncle Andre was feeling lazy. “Go to the prow or the aftcastle with your wife and feel the wind in your face.”

  With a wry smile, Kai led me up to the aftcastle. Kieran was at the wheel. We joined him up there, and I stood in front of Kai. He wrapped his arms around me, and we both tilted our heads back to feel the sea wind in our faces as my uncle had suggested.

  I’d never loved anyone as I loved Kai, and in that moment, there was no place in the world I would rather have been. The morning passed swiftly, and just before midday the sky began to darken.

  Kieran looked up. “Andre?”

  My uncle looked up as well. “Turn us about.”

  I knew he probably feared a storm coming, and it would be wise to head back in.

  Watching Kieran turned the wheel, I wasn’t paying attention to anything going on down below until I heard Uncle Andre call out, “Whoa!”

  With no idea to whom he was speaking, I looked down to see him gripping his pole with all his might. A great flash of red leaped up out of the water and dove back down.

  Andre was jerked against the rail, hanging onto the pole with both hands, knuckles turning white.

  “Kai!” he shouted.

  Without hesitation, Kai jumped off the aftcastle and landed on both feet. His right leg held him as firmly as his left when he landed, and he ran the few steps to Andre, reaching forward and grabbing the pole up above Andre’s hands.

  Both men heaved backward, and the muscles in Kai’s arms strained against his wool shirt. Andre let Kai hold the brunt of the fight while he wildly cranked the wheel until he could reel no more.

  The great fish in the water leaped up again. I’d never seen anything so bright red. It was worthy of its name.

  Kai and Andre heaved again. Then Andre cranked the reel.

  “Don’t let it go!” Kieran called from the aftcastle.

  I wasn’t fully aware how long this went on, but everyone forgot about lunch. Andre and Kai alternated between heaving and reeling . . . heaving and reeling, until at last the Scarlet-Fish was directly below the rail in the water. The two sailors came running and positioned themselves one on each side of pole. They cast a net down and used it to pull the great fish over the rail.

  I watched it flopping on the deck, gasping until it went still. Its crimson scales were bright in the dark day. It was a beautiful creature, longer than a man, with a ridged fin down its back. Again, I regretted that it had died only to become a trophy.

  Panting, Kai dropped to his knees.

  Andre dropped beside him. “If you can do that, lad, you can do anything.”

  At the look that washed over Kai’s face, I forgot the fish. Kai believed Andre. So did I.

  * * * *

  That night in bed, Kai held me tightly and buried his face in the top of my hair. He’d been a little troubled all evening, and I wasn’t sure why.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Are you unhappy here?”

  “No. You were right to bring us to this place, to these people. I’ve never known a life like this.”

  I understood him well enough to guess what he was thinking. “But you miss home?”

  He nodded. “This is a good life, a good home. But it’s someone else’s life and someone else’s home.”

  “Should I write to your father? Ask if we can come back?”

  “I think so.”

  * * * *

  The next day, we stayed at the cottage. Andre and Kieran had taken the Scarlet-Fish to be preserved somehow, so that it could be sold to a buyer who would mount it on a wall.

  Kai and I walked the beach even though we didn’t need to. He would always have a slight limp, but it was almost unnoticeable now.

  We were just heading back when I looked ahead and saw a tall, familiar form walking toward us. Almost as if summoned, Jarrod Volodane had appeared. He stopped and watched us coming.

  “Father,” Kai said.

  They’d not parted well, but Jarrod had come after us. Perhaps a month with no company besides Sebastian’s had taken a toll.

  “You’re better,” Jarrod said.

  “Yes.”

  Knowing the strain needed to be broken, I hurried forward and grasp Jarrod’s hand. “It’s good to see you. We were just speaking of coming home.”

  “Were you?”

  He sounded almost desperate. Had he been lonely?

  But Kai wasn’t ready to give in yet. He wanted to go home, but it seemed he wanted this on his own terms.

  “Father, if we come with you now, you need to understand one thing. I will never, ever seek a seat on the Council of Nobles. That was Rolf, not me. I want no other life than to be your son and Megan’s husband. I want to ride our lands and raise my children and never leave home except perhaps to come here on holiday. Can you accept that?”

  I expected Jarrod to sag with disappointment, but he didn’t. Maybe he’d known all along?

  “Just come home,” he said. “Both of you.”

  Chapter 20

  After a barrage of thanks and good-byes and promises to return, we packed up and headed north. Jarrod rode a horse now, but it appeared he did so from pure pride as I could see his discomfort. He also walked slightly bent over, and I suspected he might never be the same.

  My thoughts kept drifting to another matter though. Instead of riding a horse, I’d ask if I could sit on the wagon bench with the guard who was driving. I cited my preference for comfort, and Kai didn’t find this odd.

  However, my reasons were my own. I had a secret and didn’t wish to tell him just yet.

  The journey passed swiftly, and I was surprised when my heart lifted at the sight of Volodane Hall up on the ris
e ahead of us.

  “Home,” I said.

  For better or worse, this decaying keep had become my home, and the men who lived there had become my family.

  Once inside the courtyard, we left our horses and luggage to the guards, entered the keep, and made our way to the great hall. From the archway, I saw three people inside. Miriam was sitting quietly, working on some sewing. Sebastian and Daveed sat near her, playing a game of cards. There was a large pitcher and two wine goblets on the table.

  “Miriam,” I said.

  Looking up, she broke into a smile and ran to me. I embraced her, thinking on how much she had been missed.

  As Kai walked in, Sebastian watched. Kai’s limp was barely there.

  “Look at you,” Sebastian said, closing the distance between them and clasping Kai in his arms.

  “You’re here,” Kai said, patting his back. “I’d thought you’d be off to Rennes by now.”

  I wasn’t sure what that meant, but the air suddenly felt thick with tension as Sebastian looked to Jarrod.

  “Father felt it best that I stay,” Sebastian answered, sounding bitter, with his words somewhat slurred.

  “Are you drunk again?” Jarrod asked him.

  “And I am glad to see you,” Sebastian continued, still speaking to Kai as if Jarrod wasn’t there. “But now that you’re home, I hope to take my leave first thing in the morning.”

  Though I wasn’t certain what was happening, Kai seemed to understand and turned to his father. “May Sebastian set off for his holiday to Rennes tomorrow?”

  Jarrod’s expression flattened. “Holiday? From what?”

  Daveed kept his eyes on the floor.

  Sebastian wasn’t looking well. He was thin and pale with dark circles under his eyes, and Jarrod had just suggested he’d been drinking too much. Before leaving for the coast, I’d not given much thought to how these two would fare for a month or more here at the keep on their own, with no other company for dinner.

  Perhaps I should have.

  Whatever had happened, it had sent Jarrod running to fetch Kai and me home, and it seemed to have pushed Sebastian into an unhappy state.

  “May I go?” Sebastian asked tightly, this time speaking to his father.

  Jarrod stepped closer to him. “Off to Rennes, to drink and spend my money and do whatever you please. What have you done this year to warrant a holiday? You’ve done nothing!”

  “Lady Rosamund Monvílle might not agree. I suspect she rather appreciates being a widow.”

  With his face going red, Jarrod stepped even closer. “When are you going start doing your part around here? Start seeing to the lands and crops like your brother.”

  “Do my part?” Sebastian exploded. “You want me riding out collecting taxes for you? That was Rolf’s favorite pastime, being your bullyboy! Now you’re trying to put Kai in his place, and he has such a good heart he’ll do anything you ask. But I won’t! I’m not your errand boy, and tomorrow, I’m leaving for Rennes.”

  Kai looked stricken at the things his father and brother were shouting at each other. I had a feeling this eruption may have been building the entire time we were away, and our return had ignited it.

  Sebastian strode from the hall. Daveed got up quietly and followed.

  “Father,” Kai said. “Should I go after him?”

  Jarrod ran a hand over his face. “Let him go.”

  Miriam reached out and grasped my fingers. “Are you hungry, my lady? I could have Ester put some supper together?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Once she left, the three of us remaining stood in awkward silence. I could say nothing to heal the growing wound between Jarrod and Sebastian, nor could I put Kai at peace in this regard. Yet, I wanted to do something to make them both feel better.

  I decided it was time.

  “Before we eat,” I said. “I have some happy news to share.”

  Kai was still shaken but turned to me. I wasn’t sure Jarrod had heard the words.

  “We’re going to have a new addition next spring,” I added, touching my stomach.

  For the span of the few breaths, neither of them spoke.

  Then Kai was at my side, looking down at my hand. “Is that why you wouldn’t ride on the way home?”

  I smiled at him.

  “A grandson?” Jarrod finally spoke, and his expression altered to joy. He came to join us. “In the spring?”

  “Or a granddaughter,” I corrected.

  “It’ll be a boy,” he said with great confidence. “The Volodanes breed sons.”

  Soon after, dinner came in and we sat down, speaking together of which room might make the best nursery, and Kai could barely contain his excitement.

  Jarrod’s painful argument with Sebastian seemed forgotten.

  * * * *

  That night, I was grateful to sleep in my own bed—with Kai beside me.

  Exhausted from the journey, the family quarrel, and my revelation of news, we both fell asleep quickly, with my head on his arm.

  I dreamed first of the sea, of riding high on the waves on Andre’s boat, but this shifted to a vision of running and playing in the apple orchards here on Volodane lands. A little girl and a little boy chased me, all of us laughing as we ran.

  The shouts of laughter shifted to angry shouting, and the shouts grew louder.

  I sat up. Kai sat up beside me.

  The shouting came from down the passage, two voices.

  “Unnatural!” one came. “I knew it! Spawned from some darkness, not from me!”

  Somehow, I was out of bed first, and I didn’t bother throwing a dressing robe over my nightgown. I ran out the bedroom door with Kai behind me, wearing nothing but his underdrawers. I raced down the passage.

  At the curve of the passage, outside of Sebastian’s bedroom, I saw Jarrod. His features were twisted in rage.

  “Unnatural!” he shouted.

  Sebastian stood before him, seemingly naked but for a blanket wrapped around his waist and a dagger in his right hand. Looking beyond him, I saw Daveed inside the room, near the rumpled bed covers, naked too except for a pair of pants he held in front of himself. I didn’t understand what was happening.

  “And how would you know?” Sebastian challenged his father. “How would you know anything at all about me?”

  Jarrod jerked a dagger from a sheath on his forearm. “I’ll see you dead!”

  But Sebastian’s blade was at the ready, and I knew if anyone died here, it would be Jarrod.

  “No!” I cried, running forward, between them, and trying to hold off Sebastian.

  “Megan!” Kai yelled from behind me.

  After that, things happened almost too quickly to follow. At the sight of me, Sebastian hesitated in his strike, but Jarrod couldn’t stop himself from his rush forward and knocked me into Sebastian, who caught me.

  The next thing I knew, Kai had a hold of his father, pinning Jarrod’s arms to his sides, and shouting. “Father, stop! Sebastian, you stay there!”

  Then he looked inside the room, probably still trying to reason out what was happening, and he saw Daveed. Something flickered across his face, and he held his father more tightly.

  I pushed Sebastian backwards, and he let me.

  “Close the door,” I said quietly.

  His dark eyes lowered to mine, and he reached out for the door, closing it with Kai, Jarrod, and me outside in the passage.

  “Unnatural,” Jarrod whispered.

  “Don’t say that,” Kai answered. “Don’t ever say that.”

  * * * *

  Somehow, we got Jarrod to bed and decided to leave facing the aftermath in the morning.

  Once back with Kai in my room, I tried to make sense of what I’d seen.

  “Does Sebastian love Daveed as you love me?” I ask
ed.

  “Yes.”

  I didn’t know such things were possible. No one had ever told me.

  “Does it make you think of less of him?” Kai asked.

  I thought on that and shook my head. “Why should it? It’s no business of ours who Sebastian chooses to love.”

  Kai pulled me into his arms. “I fear Father feels quite differently.”

  * * * *

  The next morning, just as we were stirring, a soft knock sounded on our door.

  “Kai?” a voice asked from the other side.

  After quickly pulling on his pants, Kai hurried to the door and opened it, letting Sebastian inside.

  “Are you all right?” Kai asked.

  Sebastian laughed without humor. “I’ve no idea how to answer that question.”

  I climbed from the bed and donned my dressing robe.

  Watching me, he said, “You seem to have a penchant for saving my father.”

  I didn’t answer.

  He turned back to Kai. “I can’t face him, not now, not ever. I can’t stand to have him looking at me as if I have leprosy. You know I won’t be able to stand it.”

  Kai wavered. “I know.”

  “I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay here, and my income depends on Father’s grand generosity.”

  Kai seemed on the edge of suggesting something, but he asked, “Are you sure you and Father cannot find a way to live together?”

  “And how would that work now? He’ll dismiss Daveed before breakfast.” His voice broke.

  Kai sighed. “I was thinking about something last night. What if I talk him into giving you the house in Rennes, with a yearly stipend?”

  “What? He’d never do that.”

  “He might. I hate to say this out loud... but I think he might want you gone as badly as you want to leave.”

  Sebastian’s expression flickered between hope and pain. “You’d do that for me? You’d ask him.”

  Kai nodded. His eyes showed nothing but sorrow.

  * * * *

  Two days later, Sebastian and Daveed rode out for Rennes.

  Kai had made all the arrangements with Jarrod himself. Sebastian was to own the house outright with a yearly stipend large enough to cover paying for servants and expenses.