by Haley Walsh
The blankets fell away and Keith’s dark ruffled hair emerged. Hands suddenly grabbed his ass cheeks, gripping hard into the muscle, and lifted. Keith dropped Skyler’s legs over his shoulders, and he dipped his head and feasted on his cock, one hand holding Skyler steady, the other stroking himself.
Skyler let himself feel. He loved a good blowjob and Keith was a master of them, but the fact that it wasn’t some disembodied guy—just any old guy—giving it to him, that it was Keith, seemed to make all the difference. And as he drifted in the sensation, he began to realize that this was the crux of it. It was all about Keith and the two of them together.
“Keith,” he whispered. True, anyone sucking on his dick could make him feel good, but no one but Keith could make him feel loved.
Skyler moaned as Keith sloppily sucked and slurped, bobbing his head, nose dug deep into white blond pubic hair. Opening his eyes to slits, Skyler watched him, watched his cheeks suck in when he drew on Skyler’s cock, watched his dark brows contract over his closed eyes. Skyler wished he’d open them so he could see what was in them, see his emotions as raw as Skyler felt right now as he lay open and exposed, letting himself go, letting the heat and the sensations overwhelm him. And then Keith snapped open his eyes and looked directly at Skyler, even as his shoulders shook as he pumped on his own cock, as he grunted and moaned out his own completion, cum spattering Skyler’s back. That was enough to tilt Skyler over the edge and he cried out, pumping down Keith’s open throat, toes clenching, heels digging into Keith’s back.
Keith sucked and licked him a moment more before letting the spent cock drop out of his mouth. His lips were wet and swollen and Skyler wanted to kiss them, taste himself there. Keith seemed to know that and let his legs fall, leaned over him, and planted his mouth to Skyler’s, kissing him languidly, over and over, turning his face to catch each corner and taper of his mouth. Keith sighed and fell down beside him, scooping him into his arms in one graceful move. “Mm mmm, Mr. Foxe. My favorite breakfast.”
“Uh huh,” said Skyler vaguely, feeling suddenly sleepy. So warm. So comfortable in his arms. He had felt tense but he couldn’t remember why anymore.
All the rest of the morning, Keith wouldn’t let Skyler sulk or worry. He smiled every time Skyler looked his way and seemed particularly affectionate. He took to grabbing Skyler every time he walked by, hugging and kissing him. Once they’d dressed and closed and locked the front door, Keith cornered him on the landing, embraced him, and tilted up his chin. “See you at lunch today?”
“Yeah. Let’s do that.” Lips softly touched Skyler’s, and though he was momentarily caught up in the sensations, he was also slightly ruffled by his scrambled emotions. No, he was not doing this! He had asked Keith. He was not going to screw this up!
“Let’s keep this to ourselves for a bit, though,” said Keith, still holding him. “No need to let the school know just yet.”
“Oh, I agree. Let’s keep it on the downlow for now.”
“We’re not hiding,” he said sternly. “It’s just…for us for now.” He kissed Skyler’s nose and gave his butt a pinch as Skyler led the way down the steps.
Midday, they met for lunch and mooned over each other, laughing stupidly at nothing. Skyler felt good about it…as long as he was in Keith’s presence. But it seemed the moment he was out of his sphere of influence, he’d go back to anxious worrying again.
He almost headed to The Bean after school, but even as he slowly drove his white VW Bug toward a parking space in front of the green awning and rainbow flag out front, he quickly changed his mind. He couldn’t tell Philip first. Besides, he got the feeling Keith didn’t want it broadcast just yet. Philip and his boyfriend Rodolfo were probably busy anyway, what with their taking over the store next door for Rodolfo’s pastry shop. At least, that’s the excuse he told himself as he made an illegal U-turn and cut someone off.
“Sorry!” he yelled out the window, though they probably didn’t hear him as the other driver was leaning heavily on the horn.
He even toyed with the idea of going over to his mom’s house. But he didn’t quite want to face his mom and dad, now that they were living together without any intention of getting re-married. He felt weird about that. And a little hypocritical. He felt that people their age needed the formality of marriage, even though his mom was the one who had refused it. His staid, proper mother, of all people. But he supposed she was wary of marriage after hers had gone so wrong. He guessed that’s what he felt the most hypocritical about, the fact that he had disdained marriage for much the same reason.
But he really wanted to tell someone, and the only person he could see to tell, should tell first, was Sidney. Would it be okay? Keith wanted to keep it just for them. He could call and ask him…but he was keener on asking for forgiveness rather than permission.
He drove toward Mike and Sidney’s place on Tamarisk, a pleasant street lined with pines and sycamores. The Rachel Court apartments were made up of duplexes and theirs was in the front, street-side.
Parking, he sat in the car, staring at their curving concrete pathway lit with Malibu lights. What are you waiting for, Skyler? He really didn’t know why he hesitated. He finally pocketed his keys and got out.
Ringing the doorbell, he waited. He could smell someone’s outdoor cooking wafting down toward him. Barbeque. It was a homey smell, made him feel comforted, even as anxious as he was to face his friend with his news. And why are you anxious? he wondered.
The door flung open and Sidney posed in the doorway. Her long ringlets were gathered up in a bun on the top of her head and she was wearing shorts and a halter top with no shoes. “Hey, Skyler. Whatcha doing here? Come on in, you’re letting all the air-conditioning out.” She gave him a quick hug and ushered him inside. “Is Keith with you?”
“No, it’s just me.”
“How come?” She snatched up a sweaty glass and took a drink. “You want something? I’ve made a pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas.”
“Oooh, that sounds good. Just a little one. I’m driving.”
She took a highball glass from the rolling cart she and Mike used as a bar, dumped in ice, and then poured from the pitcher. “There you go. A small one.”
He took it gratefully and sipped. Wow. She always made them strong. “You’re not working today?”
“I got off early. Mike is still at the station though. He’s got a report to write up.”
“Don’t you write them together?”
“It’s his collar. I was back at the station at the time.”
“Oh. I just assumed you were always joined at the hip. Cagney and Lacy.”
“Which one is he supposed to be?”
He sipped, blinking away the harsh alcohol. “I don’t know. I always forget which is which.”
“Sit down, Skyler. Any reason why you stopped by?” She made herself comfortable on the sofa, tucking one leg under her. The place was still pretty much as Mike had originally decorated it, with what Skyler called Filipino kitsch. The walls were covered with pictures of his large extended family, and there was a palm frond fan on the opposite wall, and a carved teak cross next to the kitchen. He was sure Sidney’s very Jewish mother just loved that.
The only touches he could see that belonged to Sidney were a pair of nunchucks hanging on the wall, a picture of Sidney at her bat mitzvah, and another of her from her police academy graduation.
He held the glass in both hands. “Well, yeah there was something.” He took another sip. The alcohol served to sooth his nerves this time. “So, um, how’s married life?”
“Fine. Since the last time you asked me only two days ago at our reception.”
“Oh yeah.” Which had sort of started this whole thing rolling. He took another sip, and couldn’t seem to sit still. Rising, he carried his drink with him as he walked to the far wall and looked over Mike’s family gallery, including a few of Mike’s parents and what he assumed were his grandparents’ wedding photos. Everyone looked so happy in the pic
tures.
She got up to stand beside him. “They do. They’re wedding pictures.”
He hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud.
“Skyler, what’s up? You all right? You and Keith?”
“Oh yeah. Couldn’t be better. In fact…” He turned to look at her, really look at her. She was beautiful. He’d known her since they were both gangly nine-year-olds. Her face was a little long in a Sarah Jessica Parker sort of way, but her curled hair softened her chiseled features, made her eyes bigger, even as they narrowed in suspicion at him. “How…how did you feel when you got married?”
“What?” She grabbed his drink out of his hand and pushed him up against the wall with her forearm. “Skyler, what the fuck is going on? You’re acting weird.”
“Am I? Okay. Maybe I am. It’s just that…Sid. Oh my God. I asked Keith to marry me.”
“You what?”
He wrung his hands. “I asked him to marry me.”
“Oh my God.” She sipped both drinks, one after the other. “Were you drunk?”
“No. I was stone cold sober. But we were having sex.”
“You asked him while you were having sex?”
“Yeah. It just came out. And then I asked him again when we were through…just to make sure he knew I meant it.”
“And did you?”
He turned away from her, rolling his shoulder along the wall. “Yes. Of course… At the time.”
“Skyler!”
“And I still mean it now! It’s just…I think I’m a little overwhelmed with what happened. I mean, he didn’t react well. And I had to talk him into it.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake. Come here, sit down with me, and tell me everything.”
She set both glasses down on a table, took his hand, and dragged him back to the sofa. She held his hand in both of hers while he told the whole story. Wincing when he’d finished, he looked at her. “Do you think I did the right thing?”
“You are one fucked-up dude, you know that, right?” He nodded sadly. “Okay. Let’s look at what happened. You asked him because you were insecure about your folks, and about Keith’s old boyfriend, and the scare about his having a kid.”
“I wasn’t insecure about all that.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes, really. Okay, maybe about the Ethan thing…a-and the kid…that turned out to be a false alarm.”
“But you said you were afraid that Keith was bi. Not that you’d have to worry. I’d say he was pretty fixated on you.”
“But a girl who looked like me could—”
“Oh my God, shut up about that already. You know that’s not true. And by the way, this is the very definition of insecure, I hope you know.”
He folded his arms and looked at the floor.
“Oh, Skyler.” She leaned over and took him in an embrace. He untucked his arms and hugged her, sighing with his chin resting on her shoulder.
“Oh, Sid. I am fucked up. I want this. And then I don’t. But when he holds me and kisses me…” He pulled out of her embrace and sat back. “I just…go melty. But then later when I think about marriage, I shut down.”
She looked him in the eye. “Can you live without him? Tell me honestly. If this were your last day together, how would you feel?”
He thought about it, thought about their quiet evenings, about their trips to Trixx and dancing together, about how Keith made him laugh, how he made him feel, the security of knowing he was there day and night—and he knew what she meant. “No. I can’t live without him.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
“I know all that in my gut, but my brain is on turbocharge, running a million miles an hour.”
“Then turn your brain off. It hasn’t done you much good lately anyway.”
He gave her a withering look. “Keith is the right choice. It’s just the marriage thing. Am I ready for it right now?”
“What else have you got going? Are you afraid you won’t get to trick anymore? ’Cause you won’t. But you already knew that because Keith would hate sharing you.”
“I know. And I don’t particularly want to, it’s just that it’s permanently off the table now.”
“And so what? What do you need to do that for?”
“Oh, excuse me? Do I sense a bit of sexism here? I remember you were open for business quite a lot back in the day. Did that thang of yours ever snap back to pre-carousing size?”
“My vag is perfectly fine, thanks for asking. And I certainly don’t miss the meat market.”
“Well, it’s different for you.”
“Now who’s being sexist?”
“Well…all right, I concede it. We’re just a couple of former sluts, I guess.”
“That’s right. We have nothing to apologize for. And we don’t have to reconcile anything. Times change. We change. Carousing is expensive, all those drinks in a bar. And who has time for that anymore?”
He took her hand, smiling. “We always made time.”
“I know.” She gave him a friendly elbow. “But you have school hours to keep these days and I have cop hours. You’re twenty-six, I’m twenty-seven…we’re getting older. Getting settled.”
“Maybe that’s what it is. Getting settled. I just never thought I’d do that. Let alone at this stage of my life.”
“Why? You’re a responsible person, Skyler. You’ve got your students and school projects like the Gay-Straight Alliance. Aren’t you busy and fulfilled enough?”
“I guess.”
“And then there’s Keith always there to support you. Always there to love you. Isn’t that a nice thing?”
“It’s very nice,” he sighed. “Sid, what’s wrong with me?”
“You’re still in Twink mode. You think the world is laid at your feet. You think that all you have to do is wiggle that cute ass of yours and men will come running. And they would. And you’re having a hard time reconciling that to this new world order of responsibilities and relationships and everyday life. But when you break it all down to its elements, you do like your life, right?”
He squeezed her hand. “I do. I really do.”
“As for me, what’s married life like? It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It’s like coming home even when you aren’t home. It’s knowing that there’s always someone there on your side. It’s a partnership that goes deep, deeper than friendship. The ultimate friendship.”
“Wow. I’ve never heard you talk like that before.”
“Like I said, I’ve changed. And you will, too.” She kissed his shoulder. “This is a good thing, sweetie. I’m proud of you.”
“You’re proud of me?”
“Yeah.” She took his chin. “You really want this, whether you realize it now or not. Give yourself time. Have a longish engagement.”
“That’s what Keith said.”
“And besides, you’ll need time to plan the wedding.”
He sat straight up, losing her hand. “Omigosh! I have a wedding to plan.”
“Calm down, Skyler. You know I’ll help you. And so will the guys.”
Something clicked inside. He brightened. “It will be the wedding of the century.”
“Whoa, boy. Don’t go nuts. You need to talk it over with Keith. I have a feeling he’s a small affair kind of guy.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said distractedly. He was picturing doves, he was seeing garlands of voile and gold everywhere, a string quartet, and champagne served by handsome young waiters in crisp uniforms. “A reception to die for,” he muttered.
“Oh Jesus, Keith is gonna kill me. Come on. Earth calling Skyler,” she said, waving her hand in front of his face. “Come back down, dude.”
“What?”
“You haven’t told the guys yet, have you?”
“No. I had to come to you first.” He squared with her and took up her hands again. “Sidney, will you be my best man?”
“Of course! And as your newly elected best man, I will tell you right now to calm the fuck down an
d don’t go crazy. First you have to pick a date. And before you go and put Keith in a kilt”— Skyler’s eyes bulged— “you have to find out what he wants. Promise me.”
“Wha—oh yeah, sure.”
“Promise me, Skyler.”
“Yes, yes, I promise.” They both rose and she escorted him to the door. But before he could leave, she took him into a hug again.
“Don’t do it for the party, do you hear me? If for any reason it just doesn’t feel right—even to the moment you are supposed to walk down the aisle—you tell me and I’ll fix it. I’ll have a car out front ready to roll. Are you listening?”
“Yes, mother. Oh! I’ve gotta tell my mom and dad.”
“You should do that next. You should go over there right now. She’ll kill you if you don’t.”
“You’re right. Okay. What would I do without you, Sidney?” He hugged her again.
“You’d fall apart into little blond Twinkie crumbles. Now go! Go talk to your mother! She’ll be over the moon.”
“She’ll want to plan the wedding.”
“I’ll take care of her. Don’t worry. Go, Skyler. Be the dutiful son.”
He saluted. “I’m off, mon capitaine! Wish me luck.”
“Bon chance,” she said in a bad French accent, and closed the door on him.
He stood on her concrete step for a moment longer, inhaling that smoky barbecue, the heat of the air finally cooling as the sun sank below the mountains, and stepped off.
When he got into his car, his player spilled out the strains of Al Green telling him to Get Yourself Together. “That’s for sure,” he muttered, humming along with it. When he passed his own apartment, he didn’t see Keith’s truck parked out front yet. “Good.” He’d have time to swing by his mom’s, tell her, and get home to start dinner before Keith knew he was out and about. Not that he had anything to hide. Well. He had promised not to tell anyone. But Sidney and his parents weren’t just anyone.
He was actually feeling better about it. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad after all. Maybe he just needed to get it out of his system a bit. That thought took him all the way to his mother’s, where he parked out front and shut off the engine. Both his parents’ cars were in the driveway, and he hurried up the walk to get out of the heat and rang the bell.