Aliens in Disguise

by Clete Barrett Smith

  The house hadn’t smelled like that since the day when—

  I jumped out of bed and raced through the empty hallways and down the stairs. I pushed open the swinging kitchen door, and there she was.

  “Grandma!”

  She’s usually the big hugger around here, but this time I grabbed her and kind of swung her around.

  She threw her head back and laughed. I finally set her down and she stepped away to take a look at me.

  “Well, my stars and comets, that was quite a greeting, David. We were almost dancing.”

  “I’m really glad you’re back.”

  “I must admit, I was beginning to wonder if anyone actually missed me.” She gestured at all of the empty chairs around the big communal dining table. “Where is everyone this morning?”

  “Probably sleeping in. We all had kind of a late night.”

  “I see.” She tilted her head and gave me sort of a funny look. “Care to tell me about it?”

  Um, not really. “I’d rather hear about your adventures. I’m sure they’re much more exciting. When did you get in?”

  “Just a few hours ago. Let me get us some refreshments and we’ll have a nice chat.”

  Grandma made some hot chocolate for me and poured a cup of tea for herself, and we sat at the table. She told me all about her off-world trip: what the planet was like where she had stayed, the kinds of things she ate, all of her new friends. She said that she set up a referral system with a bunch of intergalactic hoteliers, and I got the impression that we were about to get even busier around here.

  Thankfully we’d be able to run the place without the international community of UFO watchers looking over our shoulders.

  The whole time Grandma was talking, her face was almost glowing. She usually looks pretty youthful—especially for a grandma—but this new excited shine in her eyes made her look almost like a kid again. Clearly, getting off the planet had been good for her.

  I glanced around and noticed the same old walls that she had been looking at for over forty years of the B&B’s operation. It made me think of something that Tate had said last night.

  “So…you’re really glad to be back? You promise?”

  “Of course.” But her smile faded as she studied my face. “Is anything the matter, David?”

  Yes. “Not really.” I traced the patterns of wood grain on the table. “It’s just that…I don’t know, we thought that maybe it would be so fun out there, mingling with all of those aliens from all over the universe and not having to hide any big secret…that you would, you know…not really want to be back here exactly. Or whatever. You know?” I’m obviously pretty articulate when it comes to talking about feelings and stuff.

  Grandma reached out and placed one of her soft hands on top of mine. “I did have an amazing time, that’s true. But this is my home, David. With the family and friends that I care most about. And this is where my life’s work is.”

  I nodded. “That’s good.” I had to admit that was a big relief. Clearly the Tates and I weren’t anywhere near ready to run the B&B without her.

  She looked around the kitchen—at those same old walls—and sighed. “There is one thing that I wish were different, however.…”

  Uh-oh. Here it comes.

  “The other hoteliers that I met were from more advanced societies, so they didn’t have to hide their operations from the general public. They are all fully integrated as contributing members of their communities.” Grandma shook her head sadly. “The only real regret I have is that I don’t think I’ll live long enough to see all of this become public knowledge.” She gestured at the entire house around us. “It seems so silly, especially after the week I’ve just had. We can all learn so much from each other. And have such a good time together. It’s a shame that humans have to remain separated from all of the amazing creatures of the cosmos.”

  “But you’re still glad to be back, right?”

  Grandma laughed. “Of course.” She got sort of a dreamy look in her eyes. “What I wouldn’t give to see the good people of Earth mingling with my Tourist friends, just once.” She took another sip of her tea and sighed. “Oh, well. We can’t have everything we want. I suppose I’ll just have to accept the fact that it’s not a sight I will ever get to enjoy.”

  Wait a minute.…

  “No you won’t!” I stood up so fast that I knocked my chair over. Then I took her by the hand and pulled her into the sitting room.

  “David, whatever are you—?”

  “Sit right here,” I said, leading her to the couch.

  “But why are you—?”

  I ran out to the storage shed. After I found what I needed, I raced back inside. I set Tate’s security camera on top of the TV and started hooking up wires.

  “What are those?” Grandma asked.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just hold on a minute.” I got everything connected and then turned on the TV.

  “David? What is this? What’s going on?”

  I didn’t answer; I just pressed PLAY on the camera and sat down next to Grandma on the couch.

  The screen flickered to life and all of a sudden we were watching the Pink Blob stroll down Main Street, not wearing any disguise at all, high-fiving the citizens of Forest Grove.

  Grandma’s mouth slowly dropped open. “How did you…?”

  “Don’t worry—your secret’s still safe. I’ll explain later. Just watch.”

  Grandma slowly turned back to stare at the TV.

  There were the ladies from the knitting place, making a fuss over dressing up a beaming Mrs. Crowzen in their homemade shawls.

  Cottage Cheese Head held Snarffle’s leash as a crowd of kids patted the little purple alien while he wriggled all over with happiness.

  A line of alien kids stuffed their faces with ice cream as the crowd of laughing humans cheered them on.

  And there were Grandma’s favorites, the Arkamendian Air Painters, dancing in the Forest Grove town common out in the broad daylight for everyone to see and enjoy.

  A tear leaked out from underneath the oversize pink lenses of Grandma’s glasses. She reached over and squeezed my hand. “This is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

  Very cool. Especially considering some of the things that she had seen around here. “Consider it your welcome-home present, Grandma.”

  Everyone else in the house—human and alien alike—slept in really late. Grandma and I had all morning to sit together and watch the people of Forest Grove happily mingling with her guests.

  Yep, it was another perfect morning at the Intergalactic Bed & Breakfast.

  It says my name on the front of this book, but I wish there were room for the following people:

  My wonderful first readers Linden McNeilly, Trent Reedy, Katie Mathewson, and Myra Smith.

  Chuck and Sue Robinson, Christina Claasen, and everyone at Village Books.

  Bethany Hoglund, Bernice Chang, Jan Brandt, Helen Scholtz, Lesley Norman, Janet Peterson, and everyone at the Bellingham Public Library.

  To all of the librarians, teachers, and children’s booksellers who brought me in to talk to their young readers or put my books into the hands of kids, thank you for all you do. (I love you.)

  George Nicholson, Erica Silverman, Caitlin McDonald, and everyone at Sterling Lord Literistic.

  Christian Slade (his amazing illustrations are evidence that he must have found some sort of portal where he can peek into my mind and view my imagination).

  Logan and Cameo, for laughing and cuddling and reading so many books with me.

  During my years of receiving rejection letters, my agent told me, “It only takes one person to fall in love with your writing to change your life.” Boy, was he right. I’m so grateful that one person for me was Stephanie Owens Lurie. Many thanks to Stephanie and her entire team at Disney • Hyperion.