by Anna B. Doe
I don’t know what I need, and at the same time, I need it all.
“Jack,” I whisper his name, something I’ve never done before. That’s how desperate I’m for him.
“What do you want?” His nose nuzzles into the crook of my shoulder. “This?” His big hand cups my boob, his thumb circling around my nipple. Before I can nod my head and urge him to continue, his hand moves lower. “Or this?”
The back of his hand strokes my inner thigh, asking me to open my legs wider for him before his fingers brush against my folds.
The feeling of his fingers sliding between my swollen lips is exquisite. My legs become restless and I lift my hips off of the bed in hope to get him inside.
Another groan parts my lips. It’s so loud that I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks. J.D. likes to torture me, so I’m not surprised to hear him chuckle. My impatience and frustration, my dissatisfaction is what gets him off these days apparently.
“Or maybe this?”
My eyes are closed because all of this is simply too much to bear. I’m hot and bothered and frustrated and I would give anything, any-single-thing, for him to stop playing around and give me what I need.
I feel the cold air touch my skin.
“What the … Oh, Goood … yes!”
My fingers run through the soft strands of black hair and grip him tight pulling him closer to me.
He doesn’t mind it one bit if you can judge by the enthusiasm with which he sucks my clit. Two fingers enter me, and my vision darkens. My eyes rolling in the back of my head in pleasure.
I call his name, my head falling back on the pillows while my thighs close around his head, but he doesn’t say a word or try to move away. His tongue keeps circling around my clit softly, helping me to come down from my orgasm.
“This was …”
There are no right words to express how I’m feeling.
How he’s making me feel.
The frustration is still here, but it’s nothing compared to this need I have for him. For him to kiss me senseless. For his cock to fill me and fuck me into oblivion. For his hands to hold me close and protected.
“And it’s not even over yet, doll.”
J.D. turns us around so he’s lying on the bed and I’m straddling his lap. The drawer on the side of his bed opens and he grabs a wrapper. I take it from his hand, open it, and put the rubber over his raging dick.
Without a word, his hands grip my hips and lower me onto his hard shaft.
Panting and breathless groans fill the silent room. Our foreheads touch as we enjoy the feeling of him entering me and my body stretching to welcome him in.
Slowly, I start to roll my hips.
His green eyes are half open, staring into mine in a daze. I want to look away. I want to close my eyes and let my body enjoy this feeling completely, but I can’t.
He’s not letting me.
J.D. doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t need to ask or command anything, because his stare is that powerful. With only his eyes, he can hold me hostage.
I quicken my pace. Soon after, J.D. joins me. His hands hold onto me and his powerful hips lift from the mattress and slam into me.
He kisses me fiercely, one of his hands lost in the mess of my hair is holding me close to him. His dark, passion-filled eyes not leaving mine once.
My walls start tightening around him, my limbs shake with the need to come. J.D. can sense it so he thrusts into me hard, pulling my hips hard down on him.
Once.
Twice.
And then I come undone.
One more powerful slam and his sweaty forehead touches mine. He kisses me hard as he empties inside of me. His lips make me swallow his loud groans.
I watch his world shatter before my very eyes.
He looks so strong yet so frail. Powerful yet vulnerable.
My fingers brush one damp strand of hair from his forehead.
His hands cup my cheek. His lips brush against my forehead.
For a second there, I feel safe.
For a second, I feel loved.
For a second, I feel whole.
“Want to tell me now what happened yesterday?”
My hands tighten around her.
It’s not past Sienna to blow up at the slightest push. She’s always holding so much in, closed off and secure behind her walls, that even the smallest provocation can piss her off and cause an earthquake.
She sighs but doesn’t explode which I take as a good sign. After two orgasms, she lies draped over me, blissfully enjoying the afterglow.
“It was Bel’s birthday, so we went out. We had fun—danced, had a few drinks, the usual.”
“Kissing other guys?” I ask, and it’s a good thing that her cheek is pressed against my chest and her fingers are drawing lines over my pecs because that way she can’t see the look in my eyes.
The look that can be summed up in one word.
Murderous.
I have to will my fingers not to clench into fists and my teeth from gritting together.
If that guy showed up in front of me I would kill him. Sienna’s mine and nobody touches what’s mine.
When the words register in my head, I want to deny them, but I can’t.
I’ve never been a possessive man. But I’ve also never been a one girl kind of man. After everything that’s happened with Cassie I’m not surprised. The shit she pulled on my father and me would fuck up with everybody’s head, not just mine. With Sienna in my life, I guess things changed.
I changed.
“I wasn’t kissing him!” She slaps my naked pec. “I told you that already. We went to grab a drink. He was at the bar and started flirting, but he was being a douche so I got our drinks and left. Afterward, he came to the dance floor, I didn’t know it was him until he whispered something in my ear and tried to manhandle me, but I set him straight.”
“He tried to manhandle you how?”
“He kissed me, and I bit him in return.”
“You what?”
I lift on my elbows and look down at her. Sienna looks at me, not happy in the least with my change of position.
“I bit him. Nobody tries to manhandle this girl.”
Lifting a wild, messy runaway strand of hair, I tuck it behind her ear. I lean into her and playfully bite into her full, swollen-from-my-previous-kisses lip.
“You didn’t mind me manhandling you just a while ago.”
Her fingers dip into my shoulders with force. Cute, a little frown appears between her brows.
“That is …,” her voice trails away. “Different. We are different.”
Playfully, I rub her nose with my thumb.
“You are right,” I whisper softly. “We are different.”
“Hey, J.D.?” I peek through the half-open door of the house gym.
During all my time here, and I’ve been here more than half the year now, I’ve never been inside of it. It’s not like J.D. told me not to come inside, but it feels even more personal than going inside of his bedroom, which I don’t do a lot, either, just to be clear. Probably because it’s his sanctuary.
J.D. spends a lot of hours inside this room that’s bigger than his living room. Talk about priorities.
Our living room, I correct myself. Even after all this time, it’s hard for me to look at this house as mine.
My house.
My home.
Ceiling to floor windows take one wall and look at the pool in our backyard. There are a lot of different machines, benches, and mats all around the room. Wooden shelf is against the wall along with the fridge. There are some magazines and books on exercise and diet, stereo, and CDs.
I find him lying on the bench, lifting weights. The sweat glistening on his face and naked chest.
“Yeah?” his voice trembles as he lifts the weight up, his arms shake in exertion.
“Is Mrs. Tayson coming today?”
Tell me she’s coming. Please, I beg him my mind. I need her to come.
“No
pe, she took a week off.”
“A week off?” I whimper, my hand gripping strongly the doorway.
“Since the training camp starts soon she decided she’ll take a week off to visit her family.”
J.D. continues lifting weights while I stand there, nibbling at my lip.
“Did you need her for something?”
What should I do? I hoped Mrs. T would come soon and I could wait for a while, but she’s gone for a whole week. I can’t wait that long!
Tears gather in my eyes and I close my eyelids shut in embarrassment and fear.
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I call his name softly. “Something’s wrong with me.”
“What’s wrong with you?” He seems confused and a bit worried.
“I’m bleeding,” I whisper even softer than before. I can feel my cheeks burn bright red.
The weight he’s been holding over his chest falls down hard and fast. J.D. lifts his head and looks at me, his eyes assessing for any kind of injury.
“You are bleeding? Where? Did you fall or cut yourself …?”
“I-I’m,” I stutter, and my head falls down to hide my embarrassment. I gulp down hoping to calm my voice, but it doesn’t help much. “I’m bleeding here.”
With my hand, I show him my light lime-green pajama pants with purple paws on them. There is dark red spot covering the part between my legs.
Wide green eyes move between my tear-stained face and the spot on my pants a few times. His mouth is hanging open and his cheeks match mine that now reached scarlet red.
I want to hide from his stare, but there is no place to hide.
Soon he snaps out of his shocked stated and lifts the weight of his chest. He puts the metal bar in its place and comes to me. His big hands wrap around my body, patting my from sleep messy hair.
“It’s going to be all right,” he murmurs over my head. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
“What is wrong with me?”
“N-nothing, this is all normal. We’ll call Si to come, okay?”
The thought of Sienna, somebody I care for, somebody I admire, coming and seeing me like this makes me want to shake my head, but his hand is preventing me from doing so.
“No …”
“She knows more about this stuff then I do,” J.D. assures me. “It’s a girl thing.”
“So, this is going to happen every month?” Grace’s voice is tiny, but she has calmed down a bit since I came here and explained to her what’s happening with her body.
Poor girl. Waking up and finding a blood spot on your pants without any obvious reasons and without a way to stop the bleeding or somebody that can explain to you what’s happening is scary.
Periods are still one big taboo subject in society.
People don’t talk about it as much as they should. Girls and women whisper about it as if it’s something they should be ashamed of, something they should hide while in reality, it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“Maybe it won’t be every month in the beginning.” I move a runaway strand of hair behind her ear. “Your body is still adjusting so it could come sooner than expected or it could skip a month or two. There are no rules because every girl is different.”
“I don’t want it to come sooner.”
I chuckle at her statement. “Trust me, nobody does. You should probably mark down the date of beginning and ending of your period so later on, when you go to your gynecologist you know how your cycle works.”
“Do I have to do it now?”
“Go to the gynecologist?” I keep patting her chestnut hair because it seems she likes it. Even movements calm her. She nods her head so I continue. “Not now, but in a few years. It would also be good to start carrying pads or tampons, although I recommend pads in the beginning, in your purse in case you get your period while you are somewhere.”
“It doesn’t appear always during the night?”
She sounds horrified at the prospect of getting her period somewhere outside of her house. Not that I can blame her. If your period comes unexpectedly and you tend to bleed a lot … Well, let’s just say things can get messy. Some girls go through their periods in a few short days and they don’t even notice they have it, while others struggle with it for days. They are long and painful and you want to kill somebody.
Unfortunately, it looks like Grace goes to the second group.
“I’m afraid not.”
“This sucks.”
She puffs her cheeks and crosses her hands over her chest.
“I know, baby girl. But it’ll get easier with time. Did the painkiller kick in?”
When I got to J.D.’s house she was still wearing her ruined pajamas and both Grace and J.D. were freaking out.
I took matters into my own hands—I sent J.D. to get heat pad for Grace and I went to the bathroom with the scared girl.
I turned on the hot water and helped her get out of the dirty clothes. While she was showering I got rid of the ruined bedding and returned in time for her to get out of the shower.
What’s wrong with me?
That was the exact question Grace asked me when she got out of the bathroom. Why do they teach health class in school if young girls don’t know shit about periods? It made me so angry looking at this sweet, little girl scared like this.
First, I explained to her the difference between pads and tampons. Showed her what I’ve bought for her and how to use it.
The whole time I was explaining it her cheeks were glowing dark red and her head was bowed down to hide her embarrassment. No matter how many times I told her this is all normal part of growing up and being female she couldn’t make herself to lift her head and look me in the eyes.
Sighing, I left her in the bathroom with a clean set of clothes to change into.
While she was changing, I put fresh sheets on the bed.
“My tummy hurts.” She pats her lowers stomach.
I gave her a small, reassuring smile and opened the sheets. “Hop on in, I’ll give you some painkillers and a hot pad to put on your tummy. It helps.”
She did just that while I told her all the important things she should know about periods and changes that will happen in her body.
“Yes,” Grace’s sleepy voice brings me out of my thoughts. “It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”
“That’s a good thing. You should have some handy in case you need them in the future. There is no shame in taking a pill or two the first few days of your period. Some girls have it really hard because their periods are really painful.”
Grace nods her head to let me know she heard me. Her eyelids flutter more and more so I know the painkiller is kicking in. They’re strong and make me sleepy after I take them.
“And eat all the ice cream and chocolate in the world if you want to.”
Her lips curl into a smile for the first time today.
“That sounds good.”
“I bet it does, I’ll send J.D. out to bring you some, okay? You just rest for a while.”
Her smile widens. Green eyes, same as her brother’s, peek at me before her eyes shut completely and she drifts to sleep.
Slowly, I get off the bed and tuck her in before leaving her bedroom.
The door closes behind me, and when I lift my eyes I see J.D. leaning against the wall in the hallway.
We don’t say a word, just look at each other.
Without breaking our staring match, I take the phone out of my back pocket and lift it to my face.
“SOS I need your lady expertise ASAP,” I read out loud. “Seriously, Shelton?”
“I didn’t know what to do.”
“I can see that.”
“I freaked out.”
“I can see that too.”
“Is she okay?”
The worried tone of his voice makes me soften a bit.
“She’s going to be okay.” I take those few steps that separate us. My hands cup his scruffy cheeks. “She’s freaking out of her mind. She
’s scared and hurting, but it’ll get better soon. She just needs to get used to this.”
“I need to get used to this.” J.D. sighs like he’s carrying the weight of the world. “What am I going to do?”
“You’ll do just fine.”
“I don’t know shit about girls, especially teenage girls and their periods.”
“And you don’t have to know, you have to be there for here. Get her a heating pad and painkiller when she’s hurting, bring her pads or tampons or chocolate chip ice cream. Comfort her.” I pat his chest like I was a while ago patting Grace’s hair. Poor guy needs it.
“I suck at this whole big brother thing.”
I want to roll my eyes, but stop myself in time. “You don’t suck. You called me, you got her a heating pad, and now you’ll go and buy the biggest box of her favorite ice cream.”
“I am?”
“And when she wakes up you’ll hug her and give her the ice cream and then sit down and watch whatever she wants to watch.”
“I am?” His voice is skeptical.
“Yes, because that’s what big brothers do.” I lift his face to look him in the eyes and transmit my point. “They are always there.”
“That friend of yours …” I watch my best friend rub his chin as he watches her walk away. “She’s something special.”
I smile at his words because they are true. Anabel is special. Sometimes I wonder if she’s even aware how much. Probably not, because that’s Anabel. “You have that right.”
“You sure she doesn’t want to become a full-time model? The camera loves her. Those eyes. God, I dream of those eyes, and I’m not even playing for her team.”
His words cause a deep, belly laugh to come out of me, and I don’t even try to stop it. Some people look at us, but neither of us cares.
Johnny joined us for dinner in the hotel we’re staying in L.A. for our vacation. Bel thought it’s too much, but I wanted to go on a vacation—something I haven’t done properly in years—and I wanted her to go with me. In the end, she couldn’t say no, because it was a part of my birthday present for her.