Until

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by Anna B. Doe


  For a full minute, it’s him and me in this moment where nothing else matters.

  Until we remember why we got here.

  He looks down at me, his finger wiping away the tear I didn’t even know was there. “Let’s go find our girl.”

  I nod my head and let him guide me out in the hallway.

  He understands, that’s the only thing that matters.

  Sienna’s hand is wrapped around my waist and mine over her shoulder. I don’t know who is holding who. I guess we are holding each other.

  Grace maybe isn’t Sienna’s sister, but somewhere along the way, I forgot that Sienna also cares for her. They are friends, and she’s hurting as much as me.

  There are a lot of things we’ll have to discuss but it can all wait. In the end, the only thing that matters is that we are not alone. We have each other.

  “There is only one more place we can look,” Sienna whispers almost hesitantly.

  “Dance studio.”

  The words are said in unison. We both start walking faster in the direction of the studio until it’s a full-on run. I get there before her and burst through the door.

  It’s dark inside, the only light coming from the small windows that are close to the ceiling. I look around, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness.

  Sienna comes to the door a few seconds later. She stops at the doorway, holding onto the wooden frame.

  “Grace,” she breathes and moves past me toward the darkness.

  She goes to her knees and wraps her hands around small thing in black in the corner of the studio.

  “Sienna?” Grace’s voice is confused and disoriented. She was most likely asleep so she didn’t hear us come. Although our crazy run would probably wake up the dead.

  I rush to them and get on the floor, wrapping my hands around both of my girls and pulling them close to me.

  “You are here,” I whisper into her soft hair, kissing the top of her head. “You are okay. You are here.”

  I chant the words on repeat. Over and over again.

  Sienna cries, her shoulder shaking hard.

  “It’s okay, doll. She’s here. She’s okay,” I whisper to her.

  “J.D.? What’s going on? Why is Sienna crying?”

  I wrap them tighter in my arms.

  “She was worried, baby. We were all worried.” I cup her cheek and make her look at me. “You can’t do something like this ever again. You hear me?”

  Her green eyes fill with tears at my harsh words. “I-I’m sorry …”

  “I know, Gracie. I know.”

  “You scared the shit out of us! You can’t just run away like that, missy! Everybody was worried sick.” Sienna hiccups a few times.

  Her eyes are puffy and red. Her hair is messed because of all the squeezing, but I don’t remember her looking more gorgeous than at this very moment.

  “I just didn’t want to be in your way …”

  “You are never in my way, Grace.” I lift her chin so that she looks me in the eyes and sees the truth of what I’m saying. “You are never, ever in my way. You are my sister, and I love you, and I want you in my life. I want you to come to the gym and talk to me or for us to just practice together. I want to watch those stupid vampire shows with you and take you to the park although you suck at the catch. I want to hear you laugh and go to your dance shows and see you in the stands cheering me on.”

  She nods her head in acknowledgment, fat tears falling down her cheeks. Grace jumps in my arms, with her hands around my neck and her legs wrapping tightly around my middle.

  “I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m so, so sorry.”

  I pull her head into the crook of my neck and let her cry for a while in my arms. Her skinny body is sharking in my arms and she’s holding me for dear life like she’s afraid if she lets go we’ll disappear and she’ll be alone.

  “She’s not coming back. She won’t disturb us again. I promise.”

  Saying her name isn’t necessary. Grace knows too well who I’m talking about. This time I plan on keeping the promise. If I only assume Cassie’s sniffing around I’m calling the police and asking for a restraining order.

  “I don’t think she’ll come around, not after the last visit I paid her, but if she does … Listen to me, Grace.” I brush the tears from her cheeks and make her look at me. “If she does you have to tell me. The only way I can stop her is if I know she’s trying to get in our life again.”

  “I’ll tell you. I promise.”

  I get off the floor with her still in my arms. “Come on, let’s go home.”

  Looking over Grace’s head I find Sienna waiting on the side, giving us time together to sort this through.

  “Hey, J.D.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Weren’t you supposed to be at the game today?”

  “You have a game tonight?” Sienna asks loudly. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have come to look for Grace myself.”

  I shake my head. “Family comes first. Always.”

  “Will you make it?”

  “It doesn’t …” I start to protest, but Grace lifts my wrist to look at the watch.

  “If you hurry up you could make it to the second half of the game.”

  “I don’t think they’ll let me play anyway.” I shrug.

  In this moment game is the last thing on my mind. We found Grace and she’s safe. And although it’s not under perfect conditions, Sienna is back in our lives and I’m not letting her go. What I want to do is take both my girls home and handcuff them to something so they can’t go anywhere while I crash into my bed and sleep.

  Sienna and Grace share a look before turning to me.

  “Give me those keys, big guy.” She extends her hand to me. “We’ll at least try to get you there.”

  We managed to get to Steel Stadium in record time. I was quite proud of my driving skills, but J.D. didn’t share my enthusiasm.

  He cussed me all the way across the town, threatening me with various forms of bodily damage if something happened to his precious car.

  I bet he’ll play different tune after the game.

  Once we left him at the player's entrance I parked the car in his spot and we went to meet the guy that was waiting to take us to our seats per J.D.’s orders. I guess being one of starting players has its perks.

  When we get to our seat the second half of the game is starting. J.D.’s fully-equipped bulky form emerges from the tunnel along with the rest of the players. People in the stands notice him and start chanting his name and Grace and I join them.

  Coach is right next to J.D. and they are heatedly discussing something—his disappearance from the first half of the game most likely. Will is hot on their heels. They all discuss for a while, but in the end, both William and J.D. go to the field.

  The crowd cheers again, this time even louder.

  “Are they going to win?”

  I look at the scoreboard and frown.

  21-28

  Our guys are losing.

  “I hope they will.”

  Soon the game starts again. Knights have the ball. We watch them go from play to play, fighting to win the territory and gain points.

  The whole game is frustrating and has everybody sitting at the end of the seat waiting for the clock to come to zero. There is no clear winner because for every point, every touchdown we make, the opposing team makes their own and it’s all back to the beginning.

  By the end of last quarter, we are still one touchdown behind. With one minute left on the clock and our team in possession of the ball, I can only hope they’ll make it.

  Everybody is on their feet waiting for the ball to land somewhere. Either end zone or opposing team’s hands. People are yelling and cheering. The noise level is off the charts and I’m starting to think once we leave this stadium I’ll be deaf.

  Grace’s hand holds onto mine strongly, her nails digging into my skin.

  “They have to make it.”

  The ball is snapped and in Will’s ha
nds. He throws it to wide receiver, but he’s soon tackled by opposing team.

  For a second, everything in the stands and on the field stops. Utter silence spreads through the stadium. People stop to move, stop to breathe … Everybody is looking for the ball.

  “J.D. has it!” Grace shrieks loudly. Her finger shoving in his direction. “Look, he has it! He has it!”

  I look in the direction she’s showing me, and yep, there he is. Sprinting like hell’s at his heels towards the end zone with the ball tucked in his hands.

  We all scream loudly when the ball touches the ground and the guys all run to him, jumping in excitement.

  The rest is a blur.

  Everybody calms down. The kicker kicks the ball for extra point assuring the win of the Knights and guys celebrate again.

  After a while, the crowd around us starts to thin, but Grace and I stay where we are.

  Some of the guys are still on the field surrounded by press. J.D.’s one of them.

  Like he can feel us look at him, he looks in our direction. Smile flashes on his lips and he waves us down.

  Of course, that brings attention to us so when the cameras turn I paste the brightest smile I can muster on my face. It’s not necessarily fake, but it has extra spark to it. My deal-with-the-press smile.

  “I hope you are ready for this, Grace.”

  She looks at me with fear in her big green eyes that looks so much like her brother’s.

  “Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We’ll be there all the way.”

  I wrap my hand around her and softly push her down the stands and onto the field.

  J.D. waits for us at the bottom and wraps his arms around us once we reach him.

  He’s all sweaty and dirty. His uniform is full of mud and grass. With his equipment still on he looks even bigger than usual. Bigger than life. But nothing of that matters.

  Reporters are all around us—yelling questions and with cameras flashing brightly in our direction.

  Who are they? Are you dating Sienna Roberts? Is it true she’s retiring from modeling? Who’s the girl? Is she your love child from your rake days?

  I’m not messing with you guys, the reporter said rake days. He probably still lives in Victorian England or somewhere around that time.

  Finally, J.D. turns toward them and flashes them his killer smile, showing off his dimple.

  “Okay, okay, guys.” He lifts his hands in surrender, ready to face the press and tell them about his secrets. “These are two most important women in my life. My sister, Grace, and my hopefully, soon-to-be, girlfriend, Sienna Roberts.”

  “That was crazy.” I stare at the television, watching the recap of today’s news. Of course, we made it there. J.D. is an expert on making a spectacle out of himself. There was a small part about Knights winning the game after J.D.’s sudden show-up and then it was the story about J.D. and Grace. And me.

  If I was less the woman I was I wouldn’t be able to take it, but I’m Sienna Roberts, so I’m used to it.

  Kind of.

  “You are telling me.” He rubs his face.

  It’s late at night, and he has to be tired. After searching for Grace, playing the game, press conference and interviews and ass chewing from the coach who wouldn’t be?

  “You are tired,” I say, walking around the counter. Both he and Grace invited me to dinner after the game, and I couldn’t say no. They called everyone to let them know Grace is safe and home. “I should probably head home.”

  His hand wraps around my wrist and he pulls me into his hard body. “You are not going anywhere.”

  “You are tired.”

  “Not that much that I don’t know you are trying to avoid talking.”

  I sigh in surrender and let his hands lift me on the counter, his body finding his way between my legs.

  “I know …” he starts, but I stop him.

  “I’m sorry, Jack. I really am.” He raises his brows in question at my sudden interruption. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. But I was scared shitless. Everything between us started to change and I didn’t know what to do. All these feelings …” I raise my arms in the air. “All these feelings they became simply too much. I didn’t know what to do with them.”

  “I know, doll. I feel it too. You are not alone.”

  “And then my cheating ex-showed up and Bel came to my place after she supposedly went to Will to confess she’s in love with him but that she’s going back home and I …”

  “You run away.” He nods his head in understanding.

  “I run away,” I agree, ashamed of my reaction. “I don’t want to hurt again, Jack. I just put myself back together and I don’t want to break again.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you, Si.” He cups my cheeks and moves closer. “The last thing I want to do is to hurt you or see you cry.”

  “I know,” I sniffle. “But you have the power to do it. That’s the scary part. All these things I feel for you, they can break me.”

  “You can break me too. You are not alone in this, babe. All those feelings you feel.” His hand lands on my chest where my heart lies. “I feel them too. My heart can’t beat if you are not with me.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper again, stiffing my head into the crook of his shoulder. “So, so s-sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” He rubs my shoulders. “I love you, Si. I love you so freaking much I’m afraid I’ll break because soon there won’t be more place inside of me to keep all this love. But I’m not letting you run away again. Until I met you and Grace … I didn’t live fully. But not anymore. I want you both in my life. I need you both in my life. You’re the light that’s been missing for a long time.”

  “I love you too.”

  The words feel foreign yet right on my lips. I never got the chance to say them to a guy, but maybe I was waiting for the right moment.

  For the right guy.

  I kiss his exposed neck, his scruffy cheek, and his lips.

  Lingering, soft kisses.

  “I love you,” I say again, and this time it feels freeing like the weight has been lifted from my chest.

  “I love you too, baby doll.”

  I want to kiss him, this time for real, but he doesn’t let me. Fingers that are in my hair hold me in place.

  His eyes take in my face. I feel him trace every line of it with his hungry stare. There’s something in his eyes, something I can’t name.

  “Marry me …”

  “What?” I choke on my words.

  “I love you, Sienna Roberts. I want you. I need you. And I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind. So, marry me.”

  I’ve always known that J.D.’s not a poet or a romantic.

  He’s a simple man.

  A good brother, son, and friend.

  Funny, smart, courageous man with a big heart.

  With so much to give.

  And I love him the way he is.

  “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  The End

  COMING SOON…

  Forever

  (New York Knights novella)

  ***UNEDITED and subjected to change***

  CHAPTER ONE

  ANABEL

  “Ohh, shit! This is so not going how it was supposed to!” I mutter to myself but don’t stop running.

  Most of the people I passed by probably think I’m some crazy lady running through the airport. Maybe some of them would even call security and there will be wild chase going on, just like in the movies. Security chasing the bad guys all over the place, lots of shouting, crashing into people and maybe some explosion.

  You have to stop doing that—that’s what I’ve been telling myself for a while now, but it doesn’t help much.

  My brain is working overtime on stories and crazy scenarios. It goes with the territory, I guess. Or maybe I’m just telling that to myself so I don’t have to go and get my head checked out at psychiatry.

  At least this time I have a good
reason for my crazy behavior. Twenty hours in a plane can do that to a person. Twenty hours, which I was supposed to spend mostly sleeping because it was the night when I started my trip, but I couldn’t do that because I had overdosed on coffee and energy drinks so I could be able to study.

  February sucks.

  Here I’m again, on the other side of Atlantic Ocean, and instead of enjoying it, I’m obsessing with all of the studying I have to do and all the things and obligations that are waiting for me to come back … to Croatia.

  I’m breathless and panting hard when I came to the check-out counter, but it’s all worth it because most of the people are still way behind me. This is not the first time I think about starting to go to the gym, but I don’t have the time to breath, much less spend an hour in some bad smelling gym with overly enthusiastic people around me running on the treadmill with no goal in my mind. I’m too busy for that.

  Between classes, homework, and studying, writing my graduate thesis, keeping up with my family and friends, working as a waitress whenever I can and writing my new book I don’t have time to think. And let’s not forget my transatlantic boyfriend.

  The time difference is a bitch, but we make-do the best we can. Texts, phone calls, and Skype are our best friends. During the off-season, he comes to Croatia, and when I have a week off, mostly during holidays like Christmas and Ester and if I finish early with my exams I go to the States.

  I’m happy if I have a whole week free because that means we have full five days together and other two days I spend traveling back and forth. In the last year, I changed time zones so many times I lost count. Just when I get used to being in America, I return back to Croatia so it’s adaption time all over again.

  My body and mind are exhausted, and I can’t freaking wait for it all to be over in a few short months because I’m scared I’ll combust otherwise.

  The cop sitting behind the glass looks at me strangely as I give him my passport with brand new visa inside. Yes, you hear it right. Nobody knows it but me, it’s a surprise, but a few weeks ago I got my visa and for the next ten years I can come and go to The United States of America as I like.

 

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