To Take Her Pride

by Anne Brear

  His thick accent, a mixture of Irish and Yorkshire, made it hard for her to fully understand him, but she smiled anyway. “Lovely. I’ll look forward to it.” Though she didn’t know how his mother knew about her, unless she saw her cleaning the window earlier. “I’m Aurora.”

  “Gawd, what a name, a right mouthful.” He laughed.

  She blinked in surprise. “You can call me Aurrie, if you want.”

  “That’s better.” He grinned boldly. “Do you want extra water for t’night?”

  “Oh, er…” She kept forgetting about the water. What a nuisance it was to collect one’s own water.

  “I can get it for you, no charge this time since it’s your first time needing it.”

  “I thought the tap was turned off at night?”

  “Aye, ’tis, but I know how to get more elsewhere. Though only for those who pay.” He touched his nose and winked. “On the quiet, like.”

  It took a moment for Aurora to understand his meaning. “I see.”

  “I usually charge those wanting me services, but for you I’ll do it for nowt, since you an’ your Mam have been ill.”

  “That’s very kind of you.” She wondered if the whole street knew her business.

  He looked sheepishly up and down the street. “Do you have a bath?”

  She thought hard, did they? No, she didn’t think so. “Not yet. We need to buy one.”

  “Leave it with me.” At that, he strode off down the lane whistling as carefree as a lark.

  Aurora closed the door and went into the sitting room. How odd to be discussing water and a bath out on the street as if it was a natural thing to do. She added coal to the blazing fire. Despite the heat of the day, Lily said the fire would dry the place out a bit and take off the constant chill, which enveloped every room. As usual Lily had been right, for the fire was making this room much more habitable, even though Sophia’s old horsehair sofa was the only piece of furniture in it.

  After placing a wire mesh screen around the fire, one of the many things she had borrowed from Lily, Aurora then went into the kitchen to attend the soup simmering on the stove. The thought of cooking exhilarated and frightened her. She wished now she had joined Bettina and Harriet when they badgered Mrs Pringle into teaching them. Thinking of her sisters sent a sharp pain of longing into her heart. How she missed them and their chatter. She also missed her mother and father and wondered how they were coping without her. She’d have to write to them. Her thoughts turned to Reid, but she banished them. Thinking of him would only depress her and she couldn’t afford to be brought down as low as she had been. Sophia needed looking after and, well, as Lily said, it was no good harping after something she couldn’t have. Reid had to be put from her heart and mind. Depriving herself of him was for his benefit, even if he didn’t know it. He would marry Miss FitzGibbon and be happy, and what he felt for her would fade. She just hoped her own feelings would diminish as quickly too.

  On the table was a list of all the things she needed to buy. She quickly added stationery to the list and then concentrated on ladling out some soup into a bowl. Lily had brought over her spare tray and set it up for Sophia’s tea. With a slice of bread and a square of cheese joining the soup, Aurora carried the tray upstairs, wincing at how her body ached in ways she never thought possible. Who knew cleaning could be so hard and taxing? At home she had never given it a thought when Dotty, Fanny or Hilda cleaned. Now they had her sympathies.

  Sophia was sitting up in bed, blowing her nose when Aurora entered the room. “I’ve brought you up some food.”

  “You cooked?” Sophia gasped, openly amazed.

  “No.” She smiled self-consciously. “Lily, the one who brought you home this morning, she made it.”

  “How kind.”

  “You must eat it all. You need to regain your strength.” Aurora studied the room with new eyes. Now she had experienced the pleasure of making a room fresh and fit for use, she was keen to subject each room in the house to a thorough clean. She’d not give any beastly rat an opportunity to feast near her again.

  “I feel so bad about Big Eddie.” Sophia murmured between sips of soup. “He relies on me.”

  “I sent a note to him this morning. Well, Lily asked a lad, Arthur Filey from number 5, to run the message to Eddie.”

  “Oh, good. That’s better than not showing up at all.”

  Aurora sat on the end of the bed. “I’ll call in and see him tomorrow, if you like, and explain.”

  “I’ll be up and about by the morning.”

  “I doubt it.” She shook her head, feeling the need to take care of Sophia as she had taken care of her. “Another day in bed is called for I think. You’ve no strength to go to work.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I’ll do it on my way to the shops.”

  “Shops?” Sophia’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, the last spoonful of soup halfway to her lips.

  “Yes. Lily is coming with me. We require a great deal of things for this house if we are to have any comfort at all.”

  “Don’t spend all the money, Aurora.” Her tone hardened, sounded even scared. “We must keep some back in case of emergencies. We have rent to pay and food and fuel. I won’t live day to day as I have done in the past, not knowing if I’d be able to buy the next meal.”

  “But I don’t understand. You had money. Why did you go without when you had money in your trunk?”

  “Only until recently did I have it. Not at the beginning. When I was…when I first left home I had nothing.” Sophia lifted her chin in defiance. “After living hand to mouth for years I soon learned to save when I could. I refused to spend it unless I was in a dire situation.”

  “Starving could be deemed dire,” Aurora said sarcastically. Living in Edinburgh Yard was a perfect reason to spend the money and get somewhere better.

  “Big Eddie always allowed me to eat at the pub. I was never starving.”

  “But why live in that awful place when you could have found somewhere decent.”

  “Edinburgh Yard allowed me to save because of the low rent. Besides, I only slept there. I spent all my spare time visiting the library or galleries. I could stand living there as long as I knew that one day I would be free of it. I had plans of moving to the countryside.”

  “And I ruined those plans.”

  “No, not necessarily. We can always go to the country when we’ve saved some more. One day I’d like a small farm, or at least a cottage with some hens. My parents, your grandparents, always had a lovely home with a garden.”

  Aurora thought of the farmland around home, the fields full of wheat and barley, lambs frolicking, the bellow of a cow, wildflowers and birds. She missed the openness of the countryside, of walking or riding Princess without seeing another soul for hours. She sighed, thinking of her lovely mare. Princess, like her family, had been another sacrifice for those few hours in the wood with Reid.

  “What is it, Aurrie?” Sophia whispered. “You look so dreadfully sad. Are you thinking of home?”

  “I try my best not to, only sometimes it creeps up on me before I know it.”

  “I understand. It took me a long time to adjust when I first left home. It is very hard to settle for this after living in a comfortable home.”

  “Do you regret leaving them?”

  “I had no choice. My father disowned me.” Sophia shrugged and fiddled with the edge of the sheet. “But I always planned to get away from the city. I didn’t care how long it took me. I just worked for the day when I’d leave York to go to the cottage in the country.”

  “Then that is what we shall do. Buy a cottage, or a farm.”

  Sophia laughed softly and rested back against the pillows. “Rent a farm more like.”

  “All right, rent then. But we need furniture for this place, so that will diminish the amount somewhat.”

  “Yes. However once it is bought, we can save again.”

  “And I will go out to work.”

  “Oh no, Auro
ra.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you’ve never done it before.”

  “Neither had you at the start. I can learn just as you did. With both of us saving we can go that much sooner.”

  “Yes, but you’ll have the baby to consider.”

  “It’s not born yet.” Her thoughts raced ahead. “And after it is, perhaps Lily will mind the baby, along with her own while I work. Or we can do shift work?”

  “We’ll see.” Sophia sounded skeptical and pushed the tray away. “It’s harder getting work than you can imagine, especially when you’ve not done any before. I worked all sorts of dreadful jobs before I became a barmaid at Big Eddie’s.”

  Aurora rose, took the tray and headed for the door. “I’m determined that we’ll live out in the country. I don’t want my baby growing up in the tenements.”

  “So you’re keeping it then?”

  “I suppose I am.” She didn’t really want to think about it, the baby. Until now she had successfully ignored thinking about the child growing in her womb. The whole prospect scared her witless. “How much money is in the pouch?”

  “About eighty pounds now.”

  “That is a good sum.

  “Yes, thanks to your Julia Sinclair.”

  Aurora shivered, remembering Julia had paid for the information that led her to be here. “Why did you reveal so much?”

  “The money was a large temptation. I thought it would bring me closer to my cottage. I wasn’t thinking straight. The money was all I wanted. I didn’t care why someone wanted to know about me. Later I hoped it was Winnie or ... even my father… I suppose I wanted to be found.”

  “Your parents died when I was five.”

  “Did they?” Sophia blinked, surprised. “I didn’t know.”

  “You’ve not been in touch with Mother, with Winnie?”

  “No.” Sophia glanced away. “I had to make it a clean break or I wouldn’t have survived it at all. I had to try and forget you, or at least only think of you as safe and happy.”

  “I was.”

  Sophia looked back at her. “Then it was worth it.”

  “Shall I leave you for a while to rest?”

  “Yes.” Sophia turned her face away and Aurora knew she was thinking of her parents, of the life she once had, of the pain she had endured.

  Downstairs, after eating a bowl of soup herself in the clean kitchen, Aurora filled the bucket with hot water from the kettle and washed the dinner things. When the scullery door opened, she nearly dropped the plates onto the stone floor.

  “Hey there,” Anthony Murphy called out, lugging a tin bath through into the kitchen. “Where d’you want this then?”

  “You gave me a fright. Don’t you know how to knock?”

  “Sorry about that. Had me hands full, like.” He dumped the bath with a bang on the floor. “I’ll get the water.”

  Aurora stared at the tin bath, suddenly eager to have a proper wash. She couldn’t remember the last time she did. Her scalp itched.

  Anthony brought in two buckets full to the brim of water. “There’s your lot, Miss.”

  “Thank you very much.” Imagine being grateful for water. She couldn’t believe it.

  “Right, I’ll be off then. Enjoy your bath. If you ever need owt, Tony Murphy’s your man.” He gave her an exaggerated wink and, whistling loudly, left by the scullery.

  Twenty minutes later, Aurora sat in the bath, a quarter filled with warm water. She’d used her own supply as well, nervously hoping she’d remember to get out of bed early to queue for more. Yet, nothing could take away the pleasurable feel of washing herself completely from head to foot. She washed her hair with a small knob of soap she found in Sophia’s belongings. The lank greasiness of her long hair now felt lighter, her scalp tingled. Red blotches covered her body where fleas had bitten her, and she noticed how thin she’d become. She had no swell of pregnancy to remind her she was pregnant and worried if the baby had died. How would she know? For a moment she pondered on such a thing happening. No baby and she could go home! Then just as quickly she admonished herself for such horrid thoughts. For all the wrongs she’d done, she didn’t want to kill her child.

  When the water become too cold she hopped out and dried herself before the kitchen fire. She dressed in a clean chemise and nightgown, and wrapping Sophia’s shawl about her shoulders, went into the sitting room to check the fire.

  Sitting on the sofa, she dried her hair some more. It lay across her shoulders in long soft curls. The leaping flames were soothing and the bath had made her lethargic after a busy and hard working day. She placed her hand on her stomach and thought again about the growing child, or at least she hoped it was. How long did it take to become the size of Lily? This was the first time she had actually touched her stomach in protective reference to the baby inside and she was surprised by the loving warmth that she felt towards it. Her and Reid’s child. She was determined to give this child the best life she could under the circumstances and that meant a good home. Tomorrow would be the start of a new beginning for her and the baby.

  The following morning she woke as the black sky was turning gray and pink. After quickly dressing, she took two of the buckets and headed outside. A stream of women and men were doing the same, all heading to the tap at the end of the lane.

  “Now then, lass, you’re up and about?” One woman, with bright cheeks and dancing dark eyes gave her a wide grin.

  “Aye, it’s good to see you.” Another older woman nodded. “We’ve been wondering who you were, like.”

  “Your mam works in The Yellow Moon, don’t she?” said an elderly man filling his bucket.

  “Yes, she does.”

  “Have you been poorly, lass?” another asked.

  Aurora nodded, feeling as if every pair of eyes was on her.

  “What’s your name, lass?”

  “Aurora.”

  “My, that’s a pretty name, ain’t it, Jean?” A big loud woman nudged the smaller version beside her. “I’m Dilys Potter and this here is me daughter, Jean. We live at number four.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to indicate the houses. “That’s Alfie O’Cleary, he’s a widower and lives at number one.” She nodded to the elderly man and then to a boy about ten years old. “And that young lad, Cyril, belongs to the Harris family in number six. There’s eight of them.”

  “Pleased to meet you.” Aurora smiled, wishing they’d all go back into their houses. They weren’t unkind, but she didn’t want all this attention.

  Dilys pointed to two women filling buckets. “That’s Hetty Barclay in the yellow dress and t’other is Jane Fulton. They’re from numbers two and three. Jane’s got five kids and her husband is away working on the railways.” She continued to introduce everyone else but Aurora soon forgot their names and which house they lived in. Was it the Fileys at number five and the Morrisons at number eight or the other way around? “All who’s missing is Lily Bradshaw and Noah Middleton and widow Mary Murphy.” Dilys finished with a chuckle.

  “I’ve met Lily.” Aurora thankfully filled her buckets and headed back to her door.

  “Aye, Lily said she’d helped you get the place knocked into shape. You should have called out, we’d have helped you. We allus pitch in to help each other in this lane.”

  “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”

  “Drop in for a cuppa anytime you like, lass. We’re a friendly lot,” Dilys called out.

  Aurora smiled in thanks and gratefully closed the door. She quickly boiled the kettle and reheated the leftover soup as there was nothing else to eat. She had to buy food today and learn to cook as well. After she ate, she took most of the money out of the leather pouch and hid it behind a loose brick in the scullery. The purse now held a few pounds. Loading the tea tray, she then took it upstairs to Sophia. Aurora was pleased to see her awake, although she didn’t look any better. “Here’s your breakfast. I’m sorry it isn’t much.” Actually, she was ashamed to serve such a dismal fare.
/>   “I’m not that hungry, anyway.” Sophia struggled to sit upright. “I’m so tired. I didn’t sleep well.”

  “Were you thinking of your parents?”

  “Yes, though for what good it’ll do me I don’t know. What’s done is done.”

  “Stay in bed again today. I’m going to the shops with Lily, remember. So just sleep.”

  “Don’t forget to tell Big Eddie.”

  “I won’t. I’ll be back later.” Back in the kitchen, Aurora drank some tea and from her small case used her brush to tidy her thick hair that was wild after its wash. In the end she tied it up with a black ribbon and pinned on a small black felt hat to control it as best she could.

  “Hoo hoo!” Lily came down the passageway, wearing a green print dress and red shawl. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes.” She slipped the money pouch over her wrist. “Lead the way.”

  “I think Low Petergate is a good place to start,” Lily said as they left the lane and headed down George Street. “Then maybe Coney Street for the better stuff.”

  “I have to spend wisely,” Aurora warned.

  “I know, but it’ll be fun.” Linking her arm through Aurora’s, Lily giggled. “I’m going to enjoy spending your money.”

  Four hours later, Aurora’s feet throbbed and Lily’s back ached as they sat drinking tea in the kitchen of number nine. To Aurora it seemed as though they had visited every shop in every street in York. “I’ll never be able to stand on my feet again,” she moaned, rubbing her toes.

  “But we achieved so much.” Lily grinned, gazing around at the packages that filled the kitchen.

  “And there’s more to come when the deliveries start arriving this afternoon.” Aurora opened the nearest brown paper wrapped parcel and lifted up the white linen tablecloth and soft white towels. She had spent more than she should and was worried Sophia would be cross with her.

  Lily opened another parcel to reveal curtains, a pair in rich green for the front room and two pairs in a soft rose for each of the bedrooms.

  Despite her earlier forecast of never standing on her feet again, Aurora stood to put away the food they’d bought at the market, wincing with every step. The narrow pantry cupboard had looked bare and neglected, but now she filled it with pound bags of sugar, oats, tea and flour, jars of pickled onions and jam, as well as a small basket of eggs. She’d also bought vegetables and some fruit.