Lailah (The Styclar Saga)

by Nikki Kelly

  In the center there was a four-poster king-sized bed draped with expensive white-and-silver sheets. The hardwood flooring was mostly covered with a chocolate-brown rug that the bed sat upon, extending to a few inches in from the baseboards. I considered the ornate dresser, topped with a circular mirror, placed in the corner. It looked as though it once belonged to a prima ballerina or a lauded actress. I stepped farther in and saw an additional door, which I walked toward.

  “Your en suite.”

  Behind the bed on the back wall ran enormous built-in closets and it occurred to me that I had no clothes, nothing at all. “I would never be able to fill that in a lifetime!” I joked, astounded.

  Gabriel walked over and slid the mirrored door across, revealing several outfits, a dressing gown, silk pajamas, and slippers. “Borrowed from Brooke. She’ll take you shopping so you can pick out everything you need yourself,” he said, beaming.

  “That’s kind of her. I assume you had something to do with that offer. I get the distinct impression she’s not my biggest fan.”

  “Don’t mind her, she’s still very young and she’s quite protective of Jonah. He saved her, you see.”

  “Like you saved me a few days ago.” Maybe Brooke and I had something in common.

  Gabriel sighed. “If only I had been able to save you,” he murmured. “I would have spared you a lot of pain and myself…” He trailed off. His gaze fell to my midriff. I shifted uncomfortably. He moved in and stood squarely in front of me and said, “May I take a look?”

  “Did Jonah tell you?” I stuttered.

  “He may have mentioned … I tended to your wound, I’d already seen—”

  I stood uncomfortably still.

  “There might be something I can do,” he offered.

  I met his eyes and searched them; it dawned on me that he had gifts of his own.

  My feet sank into the rug as I strode across the room and gently shut the bedroom door. He watched me cautiously as I made my way over to the bed, flicking the flats off, letting them fall untidily to the side. I climbed onto the bed, plumping a couple of pillows on top of each other. I inhaled through my nose slowly. My top was still torn underneath the cardigan; all I had to do was slip it off. I did so, keeping hold of the front of the shirt across my chest as I lay down. I nestled my face in the side of the pillow, my hands close to my face. My loose curls tickled my exposed back at my waist.

  I felt Gabriel sit down next to me. He stroked my hair tenderly at first before gradually sweeping it away from my skin. Oh, Lai.

  I winced, changing my mind instantly. This wasn’t a good idea; I didn’t want him looking at it. I started to scramble up.

  Shhhh, it’s okay. His voice in my mind calmed me once more. I relaxed again. I felt his hands glide over my skin, his fingertips running up and down my scar. Goose bumps spread over me. His touch was so soothing; it was unlike anything else in the world. What happened to you?

  I didn’t want to revisit it, but I didn’t want to hide anything from him. I don’t know exactly. A Vampire. I was drifting off, deeper into the tunnel.

  What was his name?

  Frederic.

  I didn’t want to name him. There were black spots of him in my memory, even though it had happened in this lifetime, just over three years ago. Part of the story was missing, which made it difficult to recall the first few chapters. Although the details were sketchy, the wave of emotion that spread over me was pure desperation and complete, all-encompassing fear.

  As I conjured his face, it flashed across my mind, and I jolted back. I felt Gabriel place both his hands across the ridge of my spine, easing me. But I couldn’t control it; complete recollection came tumbling through rapidly.

  Images of us working together in a patisserie seeped through first. I was laughing, he was laughing. He was my friend. Images of him leaving the shop with different girls, grinning like a naughty schoolboy as he went.

  I had thought it was funny; I didn’t know. I’d tucked it all away; I hadn’t wanted to think of him again. I knew Gabriel was watching, able to see everything I saw.

  What did he do to you? Gabriel’s voice sang through my disturbing thoughts.

  Why do you want me to see it again? Why do you want me to watch? I was starting to panic. I knew what came next.

  I have to know what happened to be able to take it away.

  I didn’t have time to respond before the memory flooded through my consciousness. I watched myself walking out of the exit at the back of the shop; I heard Frederic locking up behind me. I recoiled inside as I saw myself choke when the cruel steel sliced through my skin, scraping along my bone. I saw myself thud to the floor, my head hitting the curb.

  For a moment, I couldn’t see the scene any longer and I strained to focus. Then I suddenly realized I was no longer watching.

  Somehow I was back in my own body. I was reliving the experience.

  I couldn’t get up. A trickle of blood crept past my vision and I tried to move my hands to my head but my arms were like bricks, dead weights down at my side. I heard the thick clanking of the chain fastened to the hook that was dug deep into my back, and he began dragging me across the ground at an accelerated speed. I screamed as I felt the hook etch through my skin as he pulled me along callously, the laceration traveling up toward my neck. I convulsed as it ripped through my nerves, tearing through the muscle.

  He stopped running and I was facedown in the dirt. Only then did he stoop down to my level, and I watched the flames whirl around his prodigious pupils. This was the first time I could remember knowing and experiencing the cold brutality of the species known as Vampire. His razor-sharp fangs baring over me, he hungrily tasted the trail of blood from my forehead staining down to my cheek, but restrained himself from furthering his desire. I gasped for air. The blinding pain floated in a cloud, above me, outside my body.

  Abruptly, his confident and malevolent expression changed. Snapping his mouth closed, hiding his gleaming fangs, he receded like a wild animal that had inadvertently woken a far greater beast. He shriveled and stumbled and then from the emptiness I saw her, moving straight for him. Her jet-black hair flowed loosely, cascading down her back. Her shriek filled the air. It was so dark that I could barely make out her silhouette as she circled around Frederic. Her chin tilted up, her face still covered with night. The red furnaces that replaced her eyes instantly blinded me. It was her, the girl in shadow.

  Blackness. Darkness. Nothingness.

  Excruciating, intolerable pain streamed down my back. My eyes flew wide open. I couldn’t move, unable to speak, scream, or cry. I was trapped, suspended in time, halfway between memory and reality. I needed to vomit.

  I was sure Gabriel was trying to break through, but I was alone; he had left the tunnel a long time ago. I struggled, willing myself to return. Gabriel’s eyes were suddenly fixated on my own, his words falling over themselves to reach me, but it was like watching the TV on mute. I almost laughed; it was comical. Laughing, yes! He was funny. I think he’d always made me laugh. I wanted to be with him. He felt so warm, so easy, his arms so protective.… Oh, to be in those arms, so safe. The room seemed to be displacing, spinning behind him. That was odd, bedrooms weren’t supposed to spin.

  I didn’t know what was happening to me, my brain was jumbled, the waves weren’t connecting, everything was wrong. This was wrong! Panic rising, my throat tightened and I struggled to breathe. I had to calm down. Yes, that was it, I had to just stop, stop trying, stop everything! I wasn’t in France, I wasn’t with Frederic, and I wasn’t dying.

  And just like that the whole room curved and then popped in; like a large bubble, it burst. My agony subsided along with it.

  “I’m here! Can you hear me?” Gabriel was on me, with me, all around me. An aura of light exuded from his skin, caressing and holding me, like a blanket wrapping around my soul.

  I trembled as I grappled for the pillows and hoisted myself up. Automatically I reached for my back; Gabriel’s strong
arm was already steadying me. A disobedient tear smeared across my cheek.

  “Is it gone?”

  He stared intensely at me, a bewildered and terrified look smacked across his face.

  “No.” He paused. “I lost you, Lai, I lost you to the darkness. You disappeared.”

  “I thought maybe you were detaching it somehow.” It was my only explanation for the pain that was as real as it had been the first time I had endured it.

  “I would never hurt you like that.”

  I believed him.

  I jumped off the bed, tripping as my legs woke up. I revolved in front of the mirror. My skin was unchanged, the same violent damage marked me as it had for the last few years. My head lurched heavily and I felt dizzy.

  I glanced back to the mirror and watched, astonished, as a trickle of blood drizzled down my forehead. I felt disoriented, woozy. I placed my hand across my head and presented the palm to myself, smeared with my blood.

  I staggered back to Gabriel before my legs could crumple underneath me. I halted as I reached him, as if I had hit an invisible wall. I could see it now; he was caked in crimson red. All over his hands, his arms, his shirt, even smudged across his temple.

  My blood.

  I was going to faint; Gabriel caught me as I dropped to the floor.

  SEVEN

  STARTLED, I bolted upright.

  Gabriel was at my side, dumbfounded. I was back on the bed. “It’s okay, I’m here.” His words washed over me and I felt reassured.

  I wiped the stain from my cheek while he watched as the cut to my head began to recede. He was still immersed in reds. I sat motionless, trying to acclimatize back to reality, managing only shallow breaths. My heart was still pounding against my chest, my hands shaking uncontrollably. “Sorry, I’m squeamish. The sight of blood makes me…” I tried to explain.

  Gabriel looked down at himself, peeled off his shirt, and threw it out of sight, exposing his toned torso. My eyes lit up and my cheeks burned a little in response. He must have thought I was embarrassed as, self-consciously, he leaped off the bed. I automatically reached for him, grazing his arm. I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t have to ask; he was already sitting back beside me.

  “I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry,” he began.

  “It’s all right.”

  “I had to see it play out so I could reverse it, but you stopped remembering. Everything fell into darkness,” he continued, confused.

  His face was strained, its glow dulled, as if the sun was setting, casting him in shadow. I knew then that the moment I stopped watching and inadvertently transported back into my body, he had lost the connection.

  “How exactly does it work?” I asked.

  “I’m not of this world. I have certain gifts here; they are very strong in this dimension. I had willed my powers away when I returned to Earth. My desire was to fall, to become mortal.” His words cut through me, stinging, to the core.

  “You wanted to die?” The very idea caused a lump to form in my throat. “Why?” I whispered.

  “It’s complicated. But I welcomed death, if that’s what you’d call it. They would not grant me mortality for their own ends. But then from nowhere, there you were, lying in my arms. And I was thankful to them for refusing me in spite of their motivations.”

  Gabriel spoke in riddles a little more often than I liked.

  “Who wouldn’t grant you mortality?” I asked.

  “The Arch Angels. Only they can decide if an Angel will be allowed to fall. Requests of such kind, now at least, are very rare.” Gabriel shifted his weight, seemingly uncomfortable with the question I had asked.

  “Are you some sort of healing Angel?” My knowledge of the supernatural was hardly up to speed and my mind was still throbbing.

  “No, Lailah. I was an Angel of Death.”

  That shut me up.

  He raised his eyebrows and smiled nervously, showing off those divine dimples. “Don’t worry. I went rogue a long time ago,” he added lightly. “Healing is just an ability all Angels, no matter what their job title, so to speak, possess on this plane.”

  I nodded.

  His blond hair fell over his temple delicately and all I wanted to do was reach out and touch it, touch him. “So healing is just one of your gifts. You have others?”

  “Yes, all Angels do when we are here on Earth.” He didn’t elaborate.

  He shifted his weight nearer to me, and the warmth of his body temptingly radiated toward me. “I should have been able to take it away, but you stopped too soon. I don’t know what happened. You were seeing the memory and I was watching along with you. I saw everything: your confusion, your fear, your helplessness.” His eyes grew larger. He moved his muscular arm behind my back and placed his hand on my scar. His expression was indecisive before he asked, “Did you feel it?”

  I shuddered as his words hit me and, as was becoming almost habitual, he pulled me in to his chest, his hand squeezing my waist, comforting me. He was so warm I sank into him, contentment flowing through me.

  “No,” I lied, saving him.

  The lines in his forehead ironed out a little; he seemed relieved. I had lost the connection to Gabriel. He wouldn’t have been able to sense anything from me, I guessed. I had to choose to let him in. Unconsciously I must have blocked him out in time to spare him that at least. Or maybe transitioning back into my body had automatically cut him out. I didn’t know. How could I have been back in the past? Physically able to feel everything all over again? And if I were there again, did I have the power to change the memory, to do things differently? Or was I just trapped inside myself, unable to do anything but relive what had already happened?

  “I was back here, in this room, beside you. Your scar began opening up and…” He stopped himself there.

  “I know,” I replied, feeling for the gash on my head that had already healed itself.

  “But how can that be? How can something that has already physically happened repeat itself, in the here and now? I don’t understand.…”

  That made two of us. Only he was oblivious that when he disconnected, I stopped watching and began reliving it, locked in. He couldn’t know. If he did, then it would be obvious to him that I had felt every inch of that hook.

  Silence drifted between us.

  “You were all alone, suffering at his hands.” For a moment his face flashed, and as it cooled, sadness hung across his expression.

  “I’m not alone now,” I offered softly.

  He peered down at me. Skimming my cheek with the back of his fingers, gently he leaned in, close enough that I could feel his breath against my cheekbone. “Jonah is outside,” he mumbled, breaking the moment too soon.

  Jonah didn’t bother to knock, flinging open the door and marching toward us. Then he faltered, seeing me nestled so closely to a shirtless Gabriel.

  “Jonah,” Gabriel acknowledged him.

  “I smelled blood.”

  Rising to his feet, ignoring Jonah, Gabriel directed himself just to me. “It’s time I was leaving, Cessie.” He emphasized my nickname as if reminding me that I had to remain hidden; that no one else in this house should be aware of my supernatural self. I wasn’t about to disagree. For now, at least, I would wear my mask. I would continue to be Cessie.

  Gabriel literally had to pry Jonah from my room, and I wondered for a moment why this Vampire, who had seemed so arrogant and disinterested in me at the start, was suddenly so concerned about me. I couldn’t help but think that perhaps he just wanted another taste of my blood.

  The door slammed and without Gabriel next to me, a sharp prickle of loathing stabbed my consciousness. I felt invaded again. I had to cleanse my skin. Snatching the silk pajamas and dressing gown from the wardrobe, I tiptoed to the bathroom and ran a deep, boiling-hot bath.

  Removing my clothes, I stepped inside, immersing myself in the clean water. Using the rosemary soap, I scrubbed and scrubbed, peeling off what felt like one layer of skin until my knuckles
ached with the effort. Flexing my hands in front of me, I was surprised to find dirt embedded underneath my fingernails, where I’d clung to the damp mud in my struggle against Frederic.

  I took a deep breath and sank under the water. I opened my eyes and breathed out of my nose, watching the pockets of air bubbles swirling around me. I thought about Frederic once more, careful not to dissolve too deeply into the memory, for fear I would lose control again.

  I went straight to the image of the blaze instead—the next thing I could remember after I was blinded by those fierce eyes.

  Lighting up the clearing in between the trees, it was Frederic who burned. I could suddenly smell him. I didn’t see it happen, but I didn’t have to; everything inside me told me that it was him. She’d ended him, the girl in shadow. It could only have been her, considering the expression that Frederic had worn, evidently realizing her power just before it happened. I didn’t know who she was; her face was always masked in the darkness. Nor did I know why she had saved me, why she seemed to appear in my times of crisis. Perhaps she followed me? Perhaps it was just some random, weird coincidence? And how had she healed me? The deep laceration had already closed and was scarring by the time the fire had faded out to ashes. I’d felt an odd sense of satisfaction as the flames had flickered against the blackness. I didn’t die; she’d fixed me immediately, somehow.

  Pushing my body back out of the water, I sucked in the air, scraping my wet hair behind my back. I had to change my train of thought to happier things. I thought about Gabriel instead. He had come so close to me. If Jonah hadn’t interrupted, would he have kissed me? I couldn’t work out what he felt toward me. I could only wait for him to reveal more of himself to me. I hoped he would soon.

  Tiredness sneaked up on me, so I decided to take a nap. It had been another long and eventful day, and it wasn’t even close to being over yet.

  I patted my body dry, heat radiating from my skin. I slipped on the pastel-pink pajamas and stepped through the door back into the bedroom, drying my feet as I went. I approached the bed and saw that a tray sat at the bottom; a hot cup of tea, a cheese sandwich, pastries, and fruit tempted me. No sign of the chef, but I guessed it was Gabriel who was taking care of me. The warmth of the tea filled me and I enjoyed gorging on the fruit. As the crisp taste of the grapes danced on my taste buds, I felt revitalized.