by Renee Dyer
How the hell have I made it to be a sophomore in college without ever going on a date?
Because you’ve gone to every major event in your life with Alex. Thinking about him is like throwing a bucket of cold water over my head. I’d rather be going on a date with him, but he’s made it clear that we’re only friends and that’s all we’ll ever be. How many parties do I have to go to only to watch him disappear into a room with other girls before my heart stops pining for him? He doesn’t want me the way I want him, he’s even told me this much. But I keep hanging on to the hope that he’ll change his mind and tell me he was wrong, that he loves me too.
Well, I’ll show him. “I’m not waiting around for you anymore, Alexander William Monroe,” I shout into my empty dorm room. It makes me giggle and feel better, like I somehow earned a little of my heart back. I deserve to go on this date and have fun without worrying what Alex will think of me. He’s made it clear on several occasions that I need to live my life and see what’s out there. I intend to do that tonight.
I’m tired of the other girls picking on me; tired of the jokes about me being a virgin. I don’t intend to sleep with Lucas tonight, but I’m not against him kissing me goodnight and maybe allowing a little more. I just want to know that someone finds me attractive for a little while.
I apply my lip-gloss and I’m happy with what I see in the mirror. I hope Lucas likes what he sees.
A knocking at the door has my heart pounding out of my chest. Oh God, this is it. I open the door and Lucas is standing there. His signature crooked smile that makes all the girls melt mocks me as his lips calling for my attention. I stare a moment too long and he must notice. He clears his throat, bringing me out of the daze that seeing his gorgeousness has put me into.
“You look beautiful, Adri.” I blush at his compliment. He hands me a bouquet of flowers, a mixture of carnations and roses, and I go into full swoon mode. He’s too good to be true. “Love those boots.”
He loves my boots.
I don’t know why this excites me so much, but I feel like I’m on cloud nine after hearing him say that. “Thanks,” I say shyly. I wish I was more secure in myself, but I have no experience with guys and I’m going on a date with six foot three and over two hundred pounds of pure male yumminess. I have a sudden aching between my thighs. It’s a feeling I’m not familiar with and not really comfortable with either.
“Let me put these in some water and grab my jacket,” I squeak out, struggling to find my voice.
“Take your time.” I smile at him, taking an extra second to admire him again. His brown eyes are the darkest I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if it makes him more mysterious or sexy, or if the fact that he’s my first date has me overthinking things. He’s grown his brown hair out so it’s sticking out in a messy tumble on his head. It’s not long, just enough for a girl to grab onto if she wanted to.
Why the hell am I thinking that? Think I’ve heard Alahna talk about Pres one too many times.
We walk out of the dorms and he grabs my hand, linking our fingers together. I feel my heart rate pick up and elation fills me. He wants to show everyone that he chose me. It shouldn’t mean this much to me, but it does after years of Alex rejecting me.
Stop thinking about him.
I mentally slap myself and tell myself no more thoughts of Alex. He had his chance to take me on a date, had many chances. He doesn’t want me. But, Lucas does. I peek up at this Adonis walking down the street with me and smile. He really is gorgeous and he’s a gentleman. My hand feels so warm in his. The defensive end of our football team that swarms of girls chase after wants to take me out. I don’t care how stupid I look. Nothing is wiping this grin off my face tonight.
We decide on one of the pizza places not far from the dorms and he holds the door open for me when we get there. I can’t wait to tell Alahna about this. It’s just like in the books we read. She’s going to be so jealous.
Lucas laughs at me when I order pineapple on mine and I like how the sound rumbles out of his chest, how his face seems less intense. He’s a nice guy, but he’s so into football that sometimes he seems so… oh, what am I trying to say? Uptight. Unless, of course, he’s drinking at one of the frat parties. He definitely lets go then. But, all the guys do so I don’t hold that against him. It’s nice to see him carefree and relaxed when it’s just the two of us.
“You’re really going to eat that?” he asks as we bring our pizza to the table. The pinched look on his face is comical and I want to laugh at this brute of a man being bugged out by me eating fruit on my pizza. He’s staring at it like the pineapple is going to jump off my plate and attack him.
“Are you that much of a baby about food, Mr. I’m So Boring I Only Ordered Pepperoni?” I smirk as I tease him. “Don’t knock it until you try it.” I figure he’s going to look at it in disgust some more, but he shrugs his shoulders and smiles that smile of his where one side of his mouth lifts just a little higher than the other. Man, he’s hot.
“Alright, Adri. I’m game. Give me a bite.” Give him a bite. He wants me to feed him. Oh my, that’s a little personal for a first date. Isn’t it?
Reaching across the table, I place my pizza into his mouth and watch as he takes a bite with closed eyes. The look on his face can only be describes as one of absolute loathing and I’m worried he’ll be sick. I’m sure I’ve managed to ruin the date. But, his eyes pop open and he flashes me his crooked grin. “Not bad, but I think I’ll stick to pepperoni. I think I like boring better.”
We talk about football and our classes over pizza. He seems impressed by my knowledge of the game. Not wanting to talk about Alex and the fact that I went to so many games because of him, I tell Lucas that my twin brother played football. It’s the truth. He seems shocked to hear that I have a twin and says he wishes he had known me better before our date. It’s sweet how attentive he is.
A group of girls come in and try to get his attention, but he makes it clear he’s on a date with me. I blush at the attention it puts on me. He apologizes for their behavior even though he shouldn’t. Our night continues with him telling me about his siblings and life before college. I’m surprised at how open he is. Most guys don’t want to talk, but Lucas doesn’t seem to mind.
Dinner ends too soon and I realize I’m upset that it’s over. I have nothing to compare it to, but I’m pretty sure this was an awesome first date. “Adri, I’m not ready for our night to end.” I swear he’s reading my mind. “I found this really cool pond. If you want, I could show it to you. We just need to walk to my dorm to get my car.”
Normally I wouldn’t get in a car with a guy, but I’ve known Lucas for two years. We’ve hung out at several parties and he’s friends with Alex and Preston. “Sure. Let me call Alahna and let her know I won’t be coming back for a little bit. Otherwise, she’ll have Preston out looking for me.” She would. Alahna is super protective and she wasn’t crazy about me going on a date with Lucas. She kept calling him a tool, but wouldn’t tell me why she thought so. She kept saying she didn’t get good vibes from him. I can’t wait to tell her she’s wrong.
I knew Lucas came from money, but I’m not ready for the black BMW when we get to his dorm. I don’t know what kind it is, but I’m afraid to touch it. I don’t want to scratch it or accidentally tear the interior. Who the hell gives this kind of car to a college kid?
“You getting in?” he asks, holding the door open for me. My heart flutters at the gesture and I climb in, nervous about touching anything. He closes the door and walks around to his side. I’m suddenly nervous, even though there’s no reason to be. He starts the car and I notice how quiet the engine is. It seems odd that my brain processes that in this moment, but I need something to focus on.
He drives us about fifteen minutes off campus to an area I’m not familiar with. It’s secluded and I want to ask him to turn back. It would seem awful to ask that when he hasn’t shown me the pond yet. Maybe a few minutes and then we can go back. I’m nervous because I
’ve never been alone with a guy other than Adrian, Alex, or Preston. As I watch him pull a blanket from the back seat, I’m not sure if I should be excited or scared. This is all new territory for me. I watch as he lays the blanket on the ground and turns back to the car. The expression on his face has changed. It’s not playful anymore. I don’t understand this expression and I’m not sure I want to get out of the car.
Lucas opens the door and takes my hand. For the first time tonight, his large size overwhelms me. He leads me to the blanket and we sit down, overlooking the little pond. The night is chilly and I pull my coat tighter around me, partly to block me from the chill and partly to block myself from Lucas. I’m not sure why I’m suddenly so nervous. He hasn’t done anything to make me afraid, but I am. Maybe, it’s because we’re in a place I’m not familiar with. Maybe, it’s because I can’t get away from him. Maybe, it’s his size. I don’t know if it’s one reason or all of them, but my senses are heightened and I’m aware of every movement he makes.
“You’re cold,” he says matter of fact as he wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his large body. I can feel all of his muscles against my side and that does nothing to alleviate my worry. In the books I read, this is a sweet gesture, but I can’t seem to relax. I’m not sure if he can feel my tension. If he does, he doesn’t say anything. We sit there staring out at the pond, the easy conversation from dinner gone as silence surrounds us.
He tilts my face up toward him and brings his lips down on mine. It’s a soft kiss and I start to think I may have been wrong about him. “I’ve wanted to ask you out all year,” he says, his lips still close to mine, our foreheads touching. I can feel my heart racing and I feel like I’m in one of those moments all the girls talk about, where the hot guy sweeps them off their feet. Gone are my worries from a few minutes ago. This is why his expression changed. He was nervous to tell me he’s liked me for a while. I’m flattered and my insides are in knots thinking that this gorgeous guy likes me. “So many times I was going to ask you out, but all the guys on the team were told to stay away from you.”
I pull my head away from his, more forcefully than I intended. “Why the hell would you be told to stay away from me?” I’m sure I look confused. I sure as hell feel confused. There’s no reason for anyone to stay away from me. I’m single. I don’t have any diseases. I don’t get this at all.
“You don’t know, do you?” His eyes plead with me, but I don’t get what he’s pleading with me for. I shrug my shoulders. “Alex is hung up on you. We all knew it and he told us on multiple occasions that you were his.”
I burst into laughter. I can’t stop myself. This whole night I’ve done my damnedest to not think of Alex and now I find out I could have had a date—been dating someone all year—if it weren’t for him. I’m sure Lucas thinks I’ve lost my mind, but I still laugh. “I’m sorry, Lucas, but I don’t belong to Alex, and I can guarantee that he is far from hung up on me. We’re best friends. End of story.”
“I figured that when I saw him with all those other girls and never actually saw him with you. That’s why I finally asked you out.”
“I’m glad you did. This has been a fun night. It is getting a little chilly though.” I give him a smile because I want him to know I’ve had a good time and that Alex is the furthest thing from my mind.
“I think I can warm you up.” I don’t know what he means by that and I don’t have time to think about it before his lips come back down on mine. This time it’s not sweet. It’s hard and he forces his tongue into my mouth as he’s pushing me back on the blanket. Whoa! Too much, too fast. I’m not ready to move this fast. I try pushing back against him, but he’s like a brick wall. I can’t budge him. I try telling him to stop, but his tongue in my mouth stops the words from leaving. I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I’m wiggling my body as much as I can to try to squirm out from underneath him, but he has me pinned underneath his mammoth frame. I don’t understand why he’s doing this.
“Oh God, Adri, you feel even better than I thought you would.” His words are like a punch to my gut. Doesn’t he feel me fighting against him?
“Lucas, please stop,” I beg him. “I don’t want to do this. Please take me back to my dorm.”
He ignores my cries, unzipping my coat as he kisses my neck. I don’t stop squirming, hoping he’ll get the hint that I want him to stop. I keep telling him to stop, but my words fall on deaf ears. He seems to get turned on further by my words. He rips the front of my shirt open and I know my shirt is ruined, can feel the buttons rip from the material. Cold air assaults my body as he continues to attack me with his lips. His hands join in, roaming under my shirt, gripping my breasts. I scream out to the sky for help. I feel nauseous. Prayers roll through my head. This was not how I planned to lose my virginity. I beg God to send me a savior.
A loud slamming registers in my mind, but I think I’m hallucinating. I want to believe someone has found me, but no one knows where we are. Tears continue to flow down my cheeks as I beg the heavens to save me. A scream of rage sounds out through the air that doesn’t belong to me. Lucas’ body is lifted off me. He’s flying through the air and I can’t comprehend what’s going on. There’s screaming and someone is on top of him, pummeling their fists into his face. I turn my face to heaven and thank God for whomever he sent to save me. I turn back to my savior and notice the brutality of what’s happening. Oh my, he’s going to kill Lucas if I don’t stop him. He drops his fists, one after the other, into Lucas’ face. The sound is sickening. The wetness I hear now means he has broken through bone.
“Stop!” My voice is weak and I know he doesn’t hear me. I stand up and walk closer. Hair that I recognize comes into view and I gasp. “Alex? Alex, NO! Stop! You need to stop before you kill him!” My words must register because he stops with his fist cocked back. He turns his head to look at me. He looks feral. I’ve never seen Alex look this way before. The Alex I know is kind. He would never hurt anyone. His heart is too big for that.
His hands and shirt are covered in blood and I’m mortified. What did he do? “Alex?” He looks at himself and back to me before looking at Lucas. Anger crosses his face again. He stands and kicks Lucas in the ribs. Hard.
“That son of a bitch. He was going to…” He looks at me, his chest heaving. “Adri, I saw what he was doing to you and he wasn’t going to stop. I lost it.” I don’t think. I just run into his arms. I need the comfort of my best friend and I think he needs me, too.
“You saved me, but how did you know I was here?”
He holds me tight for a minute without answering. “Alahna called me after you called her. She was concerned about you going off with Lucas. I’ve heard him brag about bringing girls here and I’ve heard girls say he can be forceful. I was worried about you.”
I grip him tighter. How had I never heard these things about Lucas? “Thank you for coming, Alex, but what are we going to do with him?”
Alex lets go of me and I watch as reality sets in. I see the second he realizes he just beat Lucas horribly. His face falls and his shoulders slump. He knows he’s going to be in major trouble for what he’s done. I want to help him, but I don’t know what to do. “Should I call Pres?” I don’t know what Preston can do to help, but I’m no help at all and Alex’s silence is scaring me.
“I’ll call him,” he says quietly. Too quietly. “Why don’t you go sit in my car? You must be cold.” I look down at myself and see my ripped shirt and open jacket. I must still be in shock; I hadn’t noticed the cold air anymore. I don’t want to leave Alex out here by himself, but I don’t want to be in his way either, so I do what he asks. I watch him call Preston. Watch his face crumble more as he tells our friend what has happened. I see anger cross his face again and I know he told Pres what Lucas did to me. Embarrassment fills my entire being. I didn’t want anyone to know what almost happened. He hangs up and slowly walks over to Lucas. Kneeling down, I watch him check Lucas’ pulse. He looks over to me and gives me a weak
smile. I take that as a sign that he didn’t kill him.
He walks back to me and I get out of the car. “He’s going to be okay, I think. His pulse is strong and he’s breathing. I think I broke his cheek, though.” He looks at the ground. I think he’s ashamed. Alex has never been in a fight. I don’t think he’s ever raised his fist at anyone. “I don’t know what came over me, Adri. I saw him on top of you… and heard you. You were begging him to stop. I could tell you were crying.”
I grab his hands, hands I know are still covered in blood, and hold on tight. “Alex, you saved me. You are my Superman.” I know he’ll get the reference.
“Nah, more like Batman. I don’t have any freaky alien powers.” Just like that, a little of the Alex I’m used to is back. He’s still stressed, but a smile is on his face and I feel like things will be alright.
Preston pulls up behind us and jumps out of his truck before he has it fully in park. He runs to the car and pulls me into his arms, squeezing me so hard I can barely breathe. “Kid, you okay?” I don’t know why he ever started calling me that, but I’m happy he’s here. I feel safe when Pres is around. I look up at him and nod my head while shrugging my shoulders. I don’t have a real answer at this point. “Good enough,” he says. “Take Alex back to our dorm and get him cleaned up. I’ll take care of this.”
“But…”
“I got this, kid. I know some stuff about Lucas that he doesn’t want coming out. Believe me, this won’t touch Alex.” I look into his eyes, trying to figure out what he isn’t saying. “If I had known you had a date with him, I would have never let you go. I’m sorry, but I promise you I will take care of this.” He hugs me again and nudges me toward Alex.