Eyes Wide Open (Healing Hearts #2)

by Renee Dyer

  I stand as straight as I can even though I want to drop to my knees and thank God that Grams is still with me. When he says that he’ll come back in the morning to check in, I’ve never been happier. I need him out of the room. He has me going through an emotional storm of fear for Grams’ health, relief that she’s doing better, and anger over this guy openly flirting with Adriana. I thank him, but can’t watch him leave the room out of fear I may follow him into the hall and teach him to respect another man’s property. I know I’m out of line so I keep my eyes on the floor until the door closes.

  “I told you. It was a small heart attack.” I know my mouth is hanging open. I can’t believe Grams is trying to play this off like nothing happened.

  “It’s still a heart attack, Grams. If you hadn’t been on the phone with Adriana…” I close my eyes and run my free hand over my face as I shake my head back and forth. “I’m staying for a week, but I’m hiring a nurse for a couple weeks after.”

  “Oh, poppycock.”

  “Grams.”

  “Tucker.”

  “Adriana has been here since dinner time and I know she hasn’t eaten yet. She must be hungry. Take her back to the house and get her some food. I need rest anyway. Come back in the morning when you aren’t so argumentative.”

  “I’m fine, Rose,” Adriana pipes up. “I can wait till I go back to my hotel to get something.”

  “Tucker will be a gentleman and make you dinner. You flew all the way here to take care of me, it’s the least he can do. Now skedaddle, you two. This old lady needs her sleep.”

  Grams is looking out for me again and I want nothing more than to hug her. I hate all the tubes and wires interfering with that. Adriana has a smirk on her face. I can see Grams amuses her and it makes me adore her that much more.

  “Fine, Grams, I’ll go, but don’t think we’ve avoided the subject of the nurse.” I kiss her cheek and tell her I love her before heading out with Adriana.

  When we walk by the nurse’s station, Jenny yells an obnoxious goodbye to me, flaunting herself by leaning suggestively on the counter. For the third time in her presence, I roll my eyes and continue walking. I don’t even bother saying anything back this time. Maybe she’ll get the hint this time.

  “Friend of yours?” Adriana asks.

  “Someone I went to school with. She had no interest in me then, but apparently does now,” I say blandly. I want to make it very clear to her that I have no interest in Jenny. “I came in a taxi. How did you get here?”

  “Rented a car. Do you want to ride with me?”

  “I’d like that,” I say as I grab her hand. I don’t know why I do it and I expect her to pull away. My heart does flip-flops in my chest when she doesn’t and my dick starts tingling. It remembers her and it’s doing a happy dance at the memories.

  I drive the short drive to Grams’ house since I’m familiar with the area. It’s a quiet ride. Neither of us seems to know what to say. I’m hungry and I consider stopping somewhere on the way, but I’m not ready nor am I willing to share her with anyone else tonight. I need to be alone with her, to see where her head is. Pulling into Grams’, I quickly turn the car off and jump out to lunge around to her side and open her door. She was already opening it, but I find I need to show her I’m trying to woo her all over again.

  The blush that covers her cheeks has my dick jumping in my pants and me mentally yelling, “Down boy!” I haven’t won any battles here yet. I intend to, but first I need to get her some food.

  I grab my bag from the back seat and lead Adriana to the house. Fury instantly engulfs me. I didn’t expect the paramedics to be able to set Grams’ alarm system, but they couldn’t turn the lock on the door? Maybe I’m being unrealistic. They were trying to save her life, but the thought that someone could get into this house, snoop around at our personal stuff, has me fuming and I’m struggling to keep a pleasant appearance. I don’t want to scare Adriana off when she just came around again.

  I walk her through the hallway and see her intently stare at every picture Grams has on display on her shelves. I hate that she has ones depicting the happy times of me with my mom and dad. I know we had those times, but Mikos tainted all those memories. I’ve asked her so many times to take them down, but she says she cherishes those memories and this is her house and I need to remember that. I think she does it in hopes that someday I’ll get the urge to track him down and we’ll magically hug and forget that he’s a bastard.

  Never. Going. To. Happen.

  That man ruined my childhood. He took all that should be good and happy about being a kid and made it insecure and sad. There is no forgiveness in my heart for him. All that remains is a black pit that swallowed every good memory of him and hatred. Pure hatred.

  Needing to feel warmth, I grab Adriana’s hand. I instantly start to come out of my funk a little. I walk with her to the kitchen and have her sit at the nook while I search out some easy food to make. It’s already after eight and I know she doesn’t like to eat late. One of her little idiosyncrasies I learned in the few short weeks I spent with her. I rummage through the cupboards and smile to myself at the choice I’ve made. I ask her to keep her eyes closed or put her head down so I can surprise her with my dinner making skills. She obliges by laying her arms on the table and laying her head in them.

  I go to work on getting all of the ingredients and five minutes later have our dinner ready. I place her plate and drink in front of her. With a smile on my face and hope in my heart, I say, “Dinner is served, sweetness.”

  She opens her eyes and a smile breaks out across her face. It makes me weak in the knees and I wonder if there will ever be a day that she won’t have that effect on me. She is beyond beautiful and I know I am going to do anything in my power to keep her from running away from me again.

  “You didn’t forget the pickle.” Her eyes are misty, but she’s still smiling.

  “It’s your favorite.” It’s all I can think to say. We sit in silence eating our PB&J’s, munching our pickle spears and chips, and washing it all down with milk. Yeah, not the most romantic meal I could have made for our first night back in each other’s presence, but I think I got through to her.

  There’s so much I want to say to her, to ask her. I want to know why she never responded to anything I sent her. If she knew she was going to cut me out of her life, why didn’t she just say goodbye to me? Why put me through all of the extra hurt? She knows I have abandonment issues. I don’t want to be angry with her, but part of me is. I’m angry and I’m hurt. I never opened up to anyone about my father dumping me off, but I did with her and then she did the same thing. Part of me wants to blast her for that, but I know she’ll run if I do.

  “I like your Grams,” she says, breaking the silence that was beginning to grow awkward.

  “She is pretty likable, isn’t she?” I ask, smiling at her. Even when she isn’t here, it seems that Grams has a way of helping me out. “Want a tour of the place after we eat? You can see where I grew up. See the early years of Tucker Stavros.” I try to mimic the monotone voice I often hear when I’m being interviewed. Her giggle runs through me.

  “I’d like that.”

  I like her liking things. Keeping her happy and liking things is my goal at the moment. I ask her how her friends are, how Dee is feeling, and we spend the rest of dinner with her filling me in on everyone. I feel bad that Dee seems to be having a hard time with this pregnancy. She’s still on medication to help her eat and she’s not gaining weight properly. The stress in Adriana’s face when she talks about it worries me. Everyone else seems to be doing okay which makes me feel better. She laughs as she tells me that Mickayla is over the moon excited for the wedding. I don’t tell her that I came close to backing out because I wasn’t sure my heart was going to be able to handle seeing her.

  We clean our dishes and I grab her hand as I walk her through the house. She hasn’t fought me on it yet so I’m going to take every opportunity I can to touch her. No matter how sm
all or brief, I’ll take it.

  Grams’ house isn’t big. It’s a simple two-story cape. We’ve had a couple small additions added on to it over the years, but nothing monstrous. That would never suit her. I show Adriana the downstairs first. Her eyes travel over all the pictures of me through the years that Grams has on the walls and shelves. I see how she studies them. I’m not sure what she’s looking for in them, but she’s staring at them so intently it startles her when I touch her shoulder to move on. She loves the pictures of the vineyard. I want to tell her I’ll take her there someday, but I’m pretty sure it’s too soon to have this conversation with her.

  Heading up the stairs, my anxiousness grows. There are only three rooms up here, Grams’ room, the bathroom, and my old room, the room I stay in when I visit. It suddenly seems very personal having her in my space and I’m not sure that she deserves to be here after how she treated me. My steps falter at the top of the stairs and she looks at me. I see confusion in her eyes and I don’t know how to answer it. There’s confusion in my head.

  “Tucker?”

  The sound of her voice brings me out of whatever mental storm starting to brew and I force myself to take a step. I’m still not sure what I’m feeling, but forcing her to go downstairs will force me to say everything I’m thinking and nothing good can come of that.

  “This is Grams’ room here at the end of the hall.” I point, but don’t walk her in there because that’s Grams’ space. “This is the other bathroom.” I stand back so she can walk in and inspect everything. And she does, like she’s truly fascinated by every inch of this house. My heart starts to beat a little faster now. “And over here is the room I grew up in. I warn you, Grams has never changed it.”

  I watch her eyes light up and she kind of half skips, half walks to the room. There’s a look of pure excitement on her face, but I don’t get it.

  I follow her in and watch her stare at the posters on my wall. Her eyes stop on the Skid Row poster. Yeah, I love that band too. I should have said something all the times she mentioned them, but I didn’t want her to think I was just saying it to get in her pants. I have other eighties rock band posters lining my walls and a few scantily clad beauties. Forgot about those. She stands in the middle of my old room; the place I hid in, praying Mikos wouldn’t come for me. The memories of this house, with Grams and Gramps, are great ones, but they hold so much pain too. This room was my haven as much as was my prison and right now it’s a tad suffocating. I turn to walk out, but her hand grabs mine. I turn back to her.

  “I’m sorry, Tucker.” Her voice is soft, almost a whisper and she isn’t looking at me. Her eyes stay fixed on the wall. “I was trying to protect you.” I watch as she drops her head forward, her body looking like it’s caved in on itself.

  “Protecting me from what?” I’m sure she’s hoping I would take the apology and be okay with it, but I need answers. It’s been almost two months. We were good when we were together and then complete silence. I need to know why.

  I walk around to stand in front of her, but she’s still looking down. I drop to my knees. I need to look in her eyes. I need to see the truth in her words. She’s not crying, but there’s a sadness there that tears at my heart. “Protect me from what, sweetness?”

  She runs her fingers through my hair and like a child starved of attention, I close my eyes and push my head into her hands. Christ, I’ve missed this woman. “I needed to protect you from me.” My eyes shoot open and her hazel eyes pin me in place. She means every word she says.

  “You and I are so busy protecting each other, we’re breaking our own hearts,” I say to her and realize how much I sound like Grams. “No relationship is perfect. They all come with challenges and I knew what I was getting into with you. I just want to know now that you aren’t going to run from me?” I leave it out there as a question.

  “I don’t want to run, but I’m so scared.”

  “You said all that I need to hear. You don’t want to run.” I stand up, grab her in my arms, and walk her to my bed. As much as I want to punish fuck her, go at her hard and leave her sore for days so she knows exactly how hurt I’ve been, I know tonight needs to be slow. We need to reconnect and rebuild trust. There will be time for hard later. I have every intention of teaching her what punish fuck means, how much she’ll enjoy it, and why she’ll never want to run from me again, but tonight she’ll get slow and sensual Tucker.

  And, that’s what she gets. We spend the next couple of hours exploring each other’s bodies, touching, tasting, and teasing. We take our time retracing every line and relearning all the spots that light the other on fire. We make each other scream out. I was never a fan of making love before Adriana, but tonight I make love to my angel under the posters of rock bands mostly gone by the wayside. We’re almost like a scene out of an eighties movie. The thought brings me peace because those movies typically had happy endings. Adriana sleeps on my chest. Happiness washes over me before blackness takes me under. No fear of sleeping tonight.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Adriana

  A nagging feeling that I shouldn’t still be sleeping is pulling at me and I reluctantly open my eyes. I want to stay asleep, stay in the bliss that was last night. Tucker was… oh, he was everything I had wished he would be if we reconnected. He was like the guys I read about in my books. He made love to me like there was never any other woman and there would never be. His eyes bore holes into my soul. I’m not sure what he saw there, but he stayed and made love to me. He held me all through the night and now… now as I roll over the other side of the bed, I find that it’s vacant.

  I shoot into a seated position, a blush creeping into my cheeks as the reality that I’m in his Grams’ house with my tits on full display hits me. I quickly pull the sheet over my exposed body and look around the room as I listen for sounds of him within in the house. Silence greets me. I can’t believe he left me here.

  Is this payback for how I left him?

  I feel the tears that want to fall, but I force them back and mentally chastise myself. I’m done falling apart over men. I need to pull myself together, get dressed, and get myself back to New Hampshire. If he doesn’t want me and this was his way of getting back at me, then I need to see it for what it was. My heart breaks at the thought. I don’t want to believe after the night we had that he would treat me this way, but how well did I truly know him?

  Seeing my clothes on the floor a couple feet away, I decide that I’ll get myself dressed and head over to my hotel to start making plans to change my flight back home. As much as my heart is screaming that it doesn’t want to leave him, I know I can’t stick around to be treated like a fuck mat. I wasn’t raised that way. Stepping onto the floor, something crinkles under my foot and I stoop down to pick it up. A piece of paper lies there and my heart soars when I see what’s written on it.

  Sweetness,

  I ran out to get us some breakfast and didn’t want to wake you. I’m going to grab some flowers for Grams, too. If you wake up before I get back, feel free to make yourself at home, watch TV, or shower. I like the shower idea. Maybe I can join you when I get back.

  Love,

  Tucker

  My body tingles all over at the thought of him showering with me. I feel needy and achy and that son of a bitch is nowhere around to take care of it. A throb has started between my thighs and I know from experience it won’t stop until Tucker has his way with me. Damn him. Last night was only a small taste. I need more, so much more to be satisfied. Our time away from each other left me hungry.

  I dress in my clothes from the night before and head to the kitchen for my purse, thankful I always carry a toothbrush in there when I fly. I have assitosis of the mouth and am in desperate need of brushing. Tucker and I never left the bed last night so my mouth is doubly dirty. Eww. Thank God he wasn’t here when I woke up or he would have been scared away. Running back to the bathroom, I chainsaw the film off my teeth and feel a tad more human. I feel a little guilty going throu
gh Rose’s medicine cabinet, but Tucker’s note said to make myself at home. I need floss and mouthwash. Ecstatic when I find them, I get to work on making my mouth happy.

  Minty fresh and able to smile at myself in the mirror, I strip down and hop into the steamy shower waiting for me. The hot water that normally soothes the tension from my body does little to calm me. Every rub of my hands over my sensitized body sends rushes of need straight to the bundle of nerves at my core. I’m tempted to take care of myself not knowing how long Tucker will be gone, but I know it wouldn’t come close to being as good as being with him.

  Lathering the shampoo into my hair, I step under the spray. The water sprinkling over me is torture. I clench my eyes even more tightly closed and pinch my lips together to try to block out the sensations rocking through my system.

  I hear the shower door open behind me. “Don’t turn around.” His words rocket through me. I want to crumble at the raspy timber in his tone. I can hear the seduction in his voice and it almost causes me to instantly orgasm. I’m so worked up; he’ll barely need to touch me to send me over the edge. His hands come around my waist. Thank God he’s finally touching me. With both hands, he tugs me back into his body where I can feel every part of his hard body, his arms, his chest and oh yes, his erection. I can’t stop the whimper that falls from my lips.

  “It’s time I show you what happens when you run away from me, Adriana.” His voice has dropped even lower and I think I’m going to faint from anticipation. He stands so still behind me; our bodies flush with one another. I want to move, but it’s apparent that he needs to be in control so I stay still. I barely breathe. Very slightly, his fingers fan out over my lower stomach, causing me to inhale deeply. I need this. Need him to start moving lower.

  My mind still on the thought of where I want his hands, I’m not prepared when he grabs both of my hands and yanks them up over my head. It’s sudden and I’m still reeling from the movement as he pushes me against the shower doors, one of his large hands holding my hands above my head, the other wrapped back around my waist. “Are you ready for your punishment?” he whispers in my ear, biting down lightly. I tremble under him, the force he’s showing turning me on like never before. I can’t answer him. He has me breathless, panting, and aching.