Ashley hesitated then, making Lexi’s chest tighten. “I think he’ll want to,” Ashley said.
Yeah, that wasn’t the same thing as doing it. “And what if he can’t?” Lexi asked, voicing her true fear. “He’s…amazing. He’s everything I want. I can just let that stuff go, right?” A couple came to the fence with their toddler and, frustrated, Lexi headed in the opposite direction. She ducked around the end of the pen and found herself looking into a pen of goats. She didn’t expect them to be any more help than the sheep had been. She took a deep breath. “Right?” she pressed Ashley.
“Well…”
Lexi blew out a breath. “Come on, Ash.”
“I’m just saying, I don’t think that you should compromise what you want.”
“But, it’s Caleb.”
“Yes, but…”
Lexi waited for Ashley to go on. When she didn’t, Lexi hissed, “Ashley!”
“Okay, listen. I will go over this with you. Again. Quickly.”
Lexi blew out a breath. She was staring at the food pellet dispenser, but instead of the very happy goat on the front of the box, all she saw was Caleb’s face.
“What’s the most important thing about tying someone up in bed?” Ashley asked.
“Orgasms.” She looked to her right, realized a mom and two little kids had come up next to her without her even noticing, and she sighed. “Sorry,” she mumbled to the mom, then she skirted around them and went to stand by the water fountains.
“Um, no,” Ashley said with a little laugh. “That’s definitely one of the important things, but the most important thing is trust.”
“I completely trust him and he knows that.”
“Yep. But he has to trust you, too.”
“He trusts me.” But she knew what Ashley was going to say.
“He has to trust that you know what you want and how to get it and what your limits are. And that you’ll tell him those limits. That you’ll say no to him if it’s something you don’t want or if he’s going too far.”
And that was the thing. She sighed. “And he doesn’t think I really know what I want and I don’t ever tell him no and I rarely think he’s going too far.”
“And he’s a really good guy. He’s overprotective and he overreacts to things that happen to you and Jack and Shay. He wants to give you things that you don’t even know you want. He wants to be the guy meeting every need,” Ashley said. “But he’s aware of all of that. And he’s trying to pull back on the sex stuff. That’s pretty gallant, right?”
“But I want him to tie me up!” Lexi hissed.
“So tell him that. And then tell him your safe word and make him trust you.”
Make him trust you.
That was exactly what she wanted. Not just for sex but in general. She wanted Caleb to see her as a partner, as someone he could be himself with, that she could be herself with. Not someone that he had to always worry about and take care of.
She blew out a breath. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Good luck. Let me know how it goes.” Ashley laughed. “In sexy, graphic detail if it goes the way I think it will.”
Lexi felt herself smile in spite of the butterflies swooping and diving in her stomach.
“’Kay, babe, I’d better get back to work,” Ashley said.
“Yeah. Sorry. Thanks for listening.” Lexi needed to get back to Caleb and the kids before they started wondering if she’d been kidnapped.
In fact, she headed for the concession stand on the other side of the main sidewalk. This would be a good excuse for her time away.
She chose popcorn and a lemonade for each kid, but just as she took the first step back toward Caleb and the kids, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Wondering if Ashley had thought of some awesome advice since hanging up, she pulled it out immediately.
It was a hospital number.
“Hey, Lex, it’s Zach Christy.”
“Hey, Zach,” Lexi greeted the new ER resident she’d worked with the other night.
“Wondering if you’d be able to come in tonight for about six hours? We’ve got a couple nurses out sick.”
Yes. She needed to get out of Caleb’s house. This was the first of his two days off so he’d be home. All. Night. Which meant he could definitely watch the kids and she could go help out in the ER where she felt confident and put-together and knew what she was doing and where she was, for sure, trusted.
“Yes. Definitely. No problem. When do you need me?” she asked quickly, starting back for Caleb and the kids. With any luck, they’d need her in ten minutes.
“Four to ten?” Zach asked. “We’re covered ’til then.”
She had to work again tomorrow morning at seven a.m. “Sounds great,” she said, hoping the ER would be busy tonight. Then she could get home and go straight to bed. She needed to be distracted and to reduce the amount of time she spent with Caleb until she could figure out how to bring up the nipple clamps.
“Awesome. Thanks. Glad we’ll have you on the team tonight,” Zach said.
On the team. The other night had been the first time she’d worked with Zach and it really had been awesome. She loved the adrenaline of the ER and how she had to tap into her gut instincts and make quick decisions. She’d felt confident and, yeah, pretty kick-ass down there.
“See you soon,” she told Zach.
They disconnected as her phone vibrated with a text.
It was from Caleb and said simply, monkeys.
Lexi headed for the primate area. She rounded the corner and spotted Caleb and the kids immediately. With yet another woman.
But this one didn’t have a zoo polo on. Nor was she wearing a name tag. She was pushing a stroller that held an adorable little girl who couldn’t have been much over a year and who was holding Caleb’s finger in one tiny hand.
Lexi stopped and just watched for a minute. Caleb was laughing about something and didn’t seem to mind that the baby had a hold of him. Of course not. He was great with kids. But he also didn’t seem to mind when the woman leaned in and squeezed his forearm.
She was pretty. Long, blonde hair gathered back in a loose ponytail, fitted pink cotton tee, and short denim shorts. She was toned and trim. And wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.
Lexi definitely felt a hot flash of jealousy now. Because, unlike Lauren, this woman’s body language was all about Caleb and he sure didn’t seem to mind.
But Lexi didn’t start forward until the woman turned to Jack and gave him a big smile and said something that made him grin in return.
Yeah, Lexi might not have a claim on Caleb, but Jack was hers. She’d share him with women who wanted to teach him about otters and give him hugs, but not with women who wanted Caleb. Caleb would just have to pick up women with his own charm.
“I got treats,” she said, coming up to the cart and handing the kids the popcorn and lemonade.
“Yay!” Shay said.
Jack already had his hand in the box of popcorn.
The woman straightened and let go of Caleb. Her baby did not. The little girl gazed up at Lexi and stuck the hand not holding on to Caleb in her mouth.
Lexi smiled at her. It wasn’t her fault her mom was hitting on Caleb. “Hey, sweetie, who are you?” she asked the little girl.
Of course one of the other adults was going to have to answer.
“Lexi, this is Hannah,” Caleb said. “And this is her mom, Jenna.”
“Hi, Jenna,” Lexi said with a big fake smile. “I’m Jack’s mom. And Caleb’s roommate.”
Jenna’s smile wobbled, but didn’t drop. “Oh, hi.” She glanced at Caleb. “We all run into each other here every Friday. Hannah is always excited to see Caleb. And the kids,” she added, as a clear afterthought.
On impulse, Lexi stepped close to Caleb and hooked her finger through his back belt loop. Right where he had Shay hold on to him. She felt his surprise, but a second later he turned slightly toward her and rested his hand on the back of her neck. It wasn’t exactly sexual, but it wasn’t really
not sexual, either. Or it was, at least, more than two casual friends going to the zoo together. Wasn’t it? She had no idea suddenly.
“That’s so nice,” Lexi said to Jenna. “I usually work on Fridays, so I’m very glad to be here as a family today.” Yes, she’d emphasized the word family. She looked up at Caleb and gave him a little smile.
He moved her so she was more up against his side. He looked entertained and did nothing to interrupt her.
“I figured I should get the snacks. Caleb would go for the ice cream or cotton candy,” Lex said with a little laugh as if she was so amused by the fact. “I guess it’s a good thing we have each other, right? I’d have no fun without him, and he’d have too much fun without me.”
Okay, that hadn’t sounded quite the way she’d meant it to, but she held her smile. She and Caleb were a team. That was the point.
“Yes, it’s so great that he has you to babysit for him,” Jenna said.
Lexi felt her eyebrows rise. This was the second woman to refer to her as the babysitter. Is that how Caleb had described her role in his life to these other women? Maybe when he was explaining who Jack was? Oh, this is my babysitter’s little boy. And, by the way, did Jenna not see Caleb’s hand on Lexi’s neck?
Of course, maybe that didn’t mean anything.
“A single dad with a job like his?” Jenna went on. She was looking up at Caleb and she actually gave an audible little sigh. “I’m just so in awe of everything you do.”
And yes, she’d emphasized the word single.
Lexi narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, I’d definitely be lost without him during my twelve-hour shifts at the hospital,” Lexi said. “We’re a great team.”
Jenna just gave her a smile. A fake smile. That wasn’t even slightly believable.
“Hey, I wanted to be sure to thank you for the chicken recipe,” Caleb said, probably sensing that the women were squaring off. Or maybe he’d noted Lexi’s narrowed eyes. Or felt the tension in her body. After all, his hand was on her neck. Okay, it wasn’t like he was grabbing her ass, but still, didn’t it mean something to Jenna?
“Oh, you bet. Sorry I got that cheese measurement wrong,” Jenna said. “I’m glad you texted me about it.”
First of all, no one thought Caleb Moreau was more amazing than Lexi did, and she was a little offended that this woman thought she could get points with Caleb simply by admiring him. If being “in awe” of him got anyone points, Lexi was so far ahead that Jenna had no hope of catching up. Second of all, she was a nurse and a single mom, thank you very much. She freaking saved and improved lives, too. This woman could fuck off.
For a moment, Lexi hoped that Jenna wasn’t a neurosurgeon or a cancer researcher or something, then decided she didn’t care. What she did was important, and Caleb babysat for her as much as she did for him.
Caleb chuckled and Lexi felt the vibration against her shoulder. It didn’t unknot her a bit.
“No problem,” he told Jenna. “Never too much cheese, right?”
Lexi fought the urge to roll her eyes. Had Jenna accidentally given him the wrong measurement, or had she purposefully given him a reason to contact her again? Lexi had to admit that was pretty good.
But Lexi knew who he was going home with today. At least from the zoo.
She rolled her eyes at herself with that thought. Yeah, that was really sexy.
But last night at the bar, Ana had referred to Lexi as Caleb’s babysitter, too, and Lexi hadn’t said a word. She hadn’t felt she had the right.
That wasn’t true now. Not after Caleb had moved them in with him, after the things he’d said to her that morning, after Lexi had decided she wanted to tell him she had a few little kinks. And that she wanted him to be a part of them.
A lot had changed over the last several hours.
“You know,” she said, interrupting something about how the fucking chicken would have been better with Monterrey Jack cheese instead of Swiss. “I just have to say something.” She looked from Jenna, up to Caleb. He simply lifted a brow. She focused on the other woman again. “What Caleb and I do for each other isn’t babysitting. We are raising our kids. Loving them. Teaching them. Taking care of them. Together. We aren’t just keeping them out of trouble and feeding them for a few bucks an hour while the other person is at work.”
Jenna stared at her. “I, um—”
“And yeah, Caleb’s job is amazing and him being a dad is amazing, but while he is single, he’s not doing the parenting thing alone. So…” She trailed off, realizing she’d said everything she’d meant to say. “Anyway. I just wanted to…point that out.”
Jenna swallowed and then gave a nod. “I know he depends on you a lot. And”—she glanced down at Jack—“your son is adorable. And Shay is wonderful. Obviously, you’re doing a great job. I’m sorry. You’re right.”
Lexi felt equal parts yeah and way to overreact, Lex at that. She blushed. “Okay. Thanks.”
She felt Caleb squeeze her neck. She didn’t know if that meant okay, shut up now, or that he was proud of her sticking up for their situation. She didn’t look up at him.
“Let me know if you need any other…recipes,” Jenna said to Caleb.
“Sure.”
Lexi felt his thumb stroking up and down the side of her neck. She didn’t know what that signal was, either, but it kept her quiet about Jenna giving Caleb an opening for more texting.
Jenna said goodbye to the kids, then said, “Nice to meet you, Lexi.”
Lexi nodded. “You, too.” She didn’t mean it, but she was pretty sure Jenna didn’t, either.
The woman moved off and Lexi took a deep breath and let go of Caleb’s belt loop. He did not, however, let go of her. In fact, he pulled her closer and whispered, “We’re going to talk about that later.”
Lexi’s breathing sped up. She didn’t know if he was unhappy with her or what. And she told herself it didn’t matter. She was going to stick up for their situation. This was one of those times she definitely knew herself and how she felt about something, and Caleb would just have to be okay with it.
“I have to work tonight,” she said, mustering some bravado. He wasn’t her dad or her husband. It didn’t matter if he was displeased with how she’d talked to Jenna.
“You do?” Finally, he dropped his hand and she looked up at him.
“The ER needs me for a few hours.”
“Oh.”
“What? You’re off tonight and tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Thought maybe we were going to do…something…together tonight.”
All kinds of thoughts flooded Lexi’s mind. But she nodded. “You and the kids can watch movies.”
He looked at her for a second and Lexi wished she could read his mind. His expression was completely indecipherable. “Yeah, I guess we can.”
“Okay.” Lexi turned toward the kids. She smiled at Shay. “So, Shay-Shay, what are the three things that Ollie eats?”
“Popcorn!” Shay said, then giggled.
Lexi smiled, too, but shook her head. “No. Ollie doesn’t eat popcorn. There were three things.”
“Crayfish,” Shay said.
“Very good. Ollie eats crayfish. What else?”
Shay just shrugged and started fiddling with Jack’s shoelace. Lexi took a deep breath. This was often how it went with Shay and the memory games and it was starting to concern her. But maybe it had been too long since she’d started the game. Or too much had happened. She needed to look up how long a four-year-old could retain new information again.
Lexi started to pull the wagon up the next path. She needed to see the giraffes.
“I’ll give you a hint,” Lexi said, as Shay walked beside her. Caleb was slightly behind them, but Lexi felt his presence like she felt the humidity when she stepped out the front door. Hot and clingy and inescapable. “They were things that live where it’s wet,” she said, focusing on Shay.
Shay didn’t respond.
“Come on, Shay,” Lexi encouraged. �
��You can do it.”
“Crayfish,” Shay said quietly.
“Right. What else?”
“Choc-wate milk!” Jack said helpfully.
She grinned down at him. “Chocolate milk is for little girls and boys, not otters.”
“Popcorn,” Shay said again. Almost hopefully.
Lexi felt her heart squeeze. The games were hard for Shay and dammit, more and more she was feeling like that meant something. “Popcorn is for kids, too.” Lexi stopped the wagon and squatted in front of the little girl. “Close your eyes,” she said. “And think about when we first saw Lauren.”
Shay closed her eyes and Lexi took her hands.
“Remember the pictures Lauren showed you about Ollie’s food?”
Shay nodded again.
“Crayfish was at the top. What picture was next?”
“She’s getting frustrated.”
Lexi looked over her shoulder at Caleb. She had to crane her neck to look up at him.
He was looking at Shay worriedly.
Lexi nodded. “I know. Sometimes it’s hard.”
“Maybe it’s too hard.” He was frowning at Lexi now.
She frowned back. “It’s not. I looked it up.” She was confident about the things she was doing to help Shay. No, she didn’t know a lot about pediatrics, but she looked stuff up when she thought it was pertinent, dammit. Like memory games for four-year-olds. She wasn’t bumbling her way around here. She straightened and faced Caleb squarely, a hand on her hip. “I meant what I said to Jenna,” she told him.
“I know.”
“I’m not just babysitting when I’m with Shay.”
“I know.”
She couldn’t read his expression.
“I want the things she and I do together to matter. Some of the stuff we do is to have fun and make memories. Some of the stuff we do is for learning.”
“I know.”
“So back off.”
One of his eyebrows went up again and for a second Lexi was distracted by the fact that that was really sexy. But dammit, this was all important. She had to be sure he really got it.
“Okay,” he finally said. “I’m sorry.”
She was tempted to make him apologize for flirting with another woman in front of her, too, but she had a feeling he knew that wasn’t cool.
Nice and Easy: Boys of the Big Easy book three Page 14