She nodded. “Okay.”
“And now,” he announced, looking at the kids, “We need snow cones!”
“Yes!” Jack agreed.
Shay took a hold of Caleb’s belt loop and they started toward the next concession stand.
Lexi followed. Damn, he looked good in those jeans, with those two kids hanging on to him.
She really didn’t need to be handcuffed to his bed.
Probably.
They had lunch and played with the kids for a little while before Lexi had to get ready to go into work. But they didn’t talk about what had happened at the zoo—either Jenna or Shay’s trouble with the memory game—because the kids were around.
That was frustrating. Caleb had never really realized how little he and Lexi did actually talk. They shared reports on what had happened during the hours with the kids, and he felt like he got general insight into her issues and questions and concerns about parenthood from the support group. But that was about it.
And suddenly it wasn’t enough.
She hadn’t even been living in his house for twenty-four hours and he wanted more.
To say that he was stunned by her defense of their situation and the way she’d called Jenna out on her use of the term babysitting was an understatement. Lexi had been feisty. Like she’d been that morning when he’d tried to help with her finger. Yet, even while confronting Jenna, she’d been calm and confident about it. As she’d been when handling Jack’s tantrum.
And then she’d told him to back off.
That was definitely new.
And strangely hot.
Why was that sexy?
But it wasn’t really hard to figure out. He loved taking care of her. But it was kind of a relief to think that he didn’t have to be so careful with her. If he wandered into asshole territory, she’d tell him. Apparently. That was a really good thing.
And it made him want her even more.
His affection for her wasn’t new, of course, but combined with the physical want, he felt things for this woman he’d never felt before. Liking her, being grateful to her, acknowledging how great she was with the kids, loving her smile, feeling protective of her were all very familiar. But the mix of that along with the desire, and now realizing that there might be a side of her he didn’t know was combining into a hot, nagging, itching, driving-him-crazy knot of emotions that he wasn’t sure how to handle.
Except to take Lexi straight up to bed and pour it all into a few orgasms.
But he’d put her in charge of when and if that happened. And she wasn’t fucking here.
Caleb played with the kids some more, they napped, he made dinner, they played some more. Then he did something that had been nagging in the back of his mind, but that he hadn’t quite had the courage for until now. He sat down at the computer and pulled up a list of physical activities that a four-year-old should be able to do.
He didn’t look at it as he hit the print button. He didn’t want to read it because he was fearful of what it would tell him. Just how behind it would reveal Shay was. But Lexi had said something at the zoo that had caught his attention. She’d looked stuff up so she knew what memory games to play with Shay.
He was sure it went into the Worst Dad of the Year column that he hadn’t done that. But Shay was happy. She didn’t have nightmares. She didn’t get sick that much. She felt safe and secure and knew she was loved. He gave her a home and clothes and food and toys and…he’d found Lexi for her.
Caleb blew out a breath. He’d felt secure in the idea that he was doing a good job for Shay because she was happy, and he’d found the single best person to be there for her when he wasn’t. And he’d felt that way even before he knew about the exercises and memory games. He’d been so intent on just meeting Shay’s basic needs and adjusting to what having a little girl did to his life that he hadn’t been reading parenting magazines or blogs or whatever the fuck people read to learn stuff about their kids. He hadn’t been worrying or looking for problems because what could be worse than being orphaned before you were even two? Shay had come out of that okay and he’d felt like he was doing pretty well.
The printer stopped and Caleb took a deep breath. He reached for the pages that had printed out.
The article was broken into sections—movement milestones, cognitive milestones, emotional milestones.
He felt overwhelmed just reading those three headings.
He made himself focus on the physical list first. Monday was physical therapy. That one made the most sense to him. They were also going to see an occupational therapist and a speech therapist. He was less clear on what those therapists would be assessing and helping with, but he figured they’d explain tomorrow.
Hops and stands on one foot up to five seconds.
Shay didn’t hop.
Right there, the very first thing on the list, and he was already at something she couldn’t do.
He made himself suck in a breath and keep reading.
Goes upstairs and downstairs without support.
Support like what? An adult’s hand? Or did the banister count? Because she could do it without holding on to him but she used the railing. He was pretty sure. But now that he was thinking about it, he wasn’t sure. When had he last watched her go up and down the stairs? He often carried her up to bed. Because she was sleepy…okay, because it was faster. She couldn’t dawdle if he was carrying her. But maybe she wasn’t dawdling. Maybe going up the stairs was hard. Had he been making it worse by carrying her?
Thoughts and questions swirled, and Caleb ran a hand over his face. Fuck. This sucked.
He made a note to have her go upstairs later and to fucking pay attention when she did it.
With a deep breath, he kept reading.
Kicks ball forward.
She had a hard time with kicking, too.
Throws ball overhand.
Huh. They hadn’t done that in a while, either. Why hadn’t he taken the kids to the park to throw the ball around? When had they last been to the park? What the hell was wrong with him?
Jesus. This wasn’t helping at all.
But they could work on this stuff. And maybe it would get better. Maybe some of this was just him being a bad uncle and not because her brain had been tossed around inside her little head as her mom and dad’s car had tumbled over the side of the road.
Caleb set the page down and braced his hands on his thighs, closing his eyes and just breathing. In and out. In and out.
Not reading this list or freaking out when you’re reading it isn’t helping anyone. You’re the grown-up. You’re the guy with the answers. The one everyone looks to for ideas and solutions. Get your shit together.
After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at the list again. Okay, solution number one—take each thing, one at a time and…do his best.
“Who wants to play statues?” Caleb called to the kids as he got to his feet.
“Me!” Shay told him.
“Me, too!” Jack said. Jack always wanted to do whatever Shay was doing, and if it was also something Caleb suggested, Jack was all in.
“Okay,” Caleb said, moving into the playroom. He was going to take that standing on one leg thing and do something with it. Get an idea of what Shay could and couldn’t do. And he was going to channel a little Lexi when he did it. He could be creative. He could make this stuff into a game like she did.
Probably.
It only took about ten minutes for Shay to say, “I don’t want to play statues anymore.” She was frustrated with the inability to hold some of the positions he’d come up with.
So did he push? Was he even having her try the right things? Maybe he should just wait and let the therapists do it. He was paying them after all. He’d just have to resist the urge to yank her out of there when that happened.
“Okay, honey. We don’t have to play anymore.”
Even as he said it, he had no idea if that was the right call.
He watched her reach for her stuf
fed hippo. His heart swelled with love. He hadn’t signed up to be the stand-in father to a baby girl, but he couldn’t believe the love and awe he felt for her on a daily basis.
And no, no one had said this would be easy. But he’d been so fucking sure that he could make their situation whatever Shay needed it to be.
He remembered the night she’d been born. Cassie had called him, excited and scared, to tell him she was in labor. He’d been in the waiting room for ten hours before the nurse came to tell him Shay had arrived. He’d held her before she was even an hour old. He’d seen her at least once a week after that. He’d been there for her first birthday, her first tooth, she’d even taken her first steps to him. And the night that he’d arrived at the hospital after being called about the accident, he’d held on to her like she was his life preserver.
Shay, and Cassie’s trust in him, had changed his life overnight. He’d been a party guy who’d flaunted the firefighter thing and his N’Awlins drawl to any pretty tourist who let him buy her a drink. And more than a few local girls, too. He’d hunted and fished and drank and laughed with his friends like he didn’t have a care in the world. Because he hadn’t.
Until his phone had rung that misty November night two years and ten months ago.
He’d suddenly had to be a grown-up. And according to the people around him, from his mother to Stephen’s sister to the social worker, he’d done a hell of a job. Everyone was proud of him, everyone thought it was amazing how he’d stepped up and how seriously he was taking everything. Even his friends had clapped him on the back and told him he was a hell of a guy. Gabe Trahan, a guy Caleb had always liked and admired, had invited him to the single parent support group where an entire circle of people who were doing just what he was doing—raising kids on their own—had told him he was doing a fantastic job.
He’d believed them. Every single one.
And then he’d met Lexi. And his ego had gotten even bigger.
She was one more person who he could step up for. One more person who needed him. One more person to help and support—and who thought he was amazing.
Lexi and Jack had given him even more reasons to smile and laugh and feel like a big fucking deal. He’d been there for Jack’s first word and his first Christmas and his first trip to the petting zoo. And his first earache. Of course, Lexi had been there the first time Shay had gotten strep throat and the first time she’d asked about her mom. Lexi had made his life so much easier.
And he really needed to talk to her.
Right now.
He needed to kiss her and touch her and tell her how fucking hot it had been to see her getting a little jealous and possessive. But he also needed to talk to her.
Okay, what he really needed was to hear her tell him he was amazing. Right now. Tonight.
He wasn’t ready to tell her about Shay. Lexi already knew everything he knew, really—Shay was a little behind in some things and needed some help. He needed a plan, he needed to know how to make Shay’s life easier and better, before he told Lexi everything. He wanted to be able to say, “Here’s what’s going on, but here’s what I’m going to do about it.” The same way he said, “The squealing sound your car is making is the drive belt. I’ll get a new one and get it put in tomorrow.”
But he’d really love to have Lexi look up at him with that so-familiar, so-addicting I’ve-never-met-anyone-like-you in her eyes, right about now.
Yeah, he needed to feel like he was amazing at something tonight. Something amazing for one of the girls that he most wanted to be amazing for.
Just after seven, Caleb made his way back downstairs, like he did every night after he put Shay to bed. He usually got Jack ready for bed as well so that he’d have his bath done and pajamas on and could go right down to sleep when Lexi got him home. Then they’d sit together on the couch and watch reruns of SpongeBob together. It was their guy time. During which Jack almost always fell asleep.
But tonight, Caleb had tucked Jack into bed across the room from Shay’s bunkbeds and it had felt so fucking right. And so much easier. Once Lexi got here, she could just…stay. No bundling Jack into the car. No sending them back into the night. No worrying about whether she got home okay.
She could settle down on the couch next to him to watch SpongeBob.
And they could talk.
Or something.
Yeah, he liked this a lot. This was how it should be.
With that thought ricocheting around in his head, Caleb started picking up the toys in the living room. He knew he should make the kids do it before they went upstairs, but there was something soothing about the routine. Especially when he was antsy, waiting for Lexi.
An hour later, the living room and kitchen were both clean and he was sitting on his couch, watching his TV, the way he did every single night he wasn’t at the station and yet, he felt like pacing.
She hadn’t told him what time she’d be home, he realized. He was resisting calling or texting. They only did that if there was something going on with one of the kids. It wasn’t his place to check up on her. But he wanted it to be.
Hell, he’d picked his phone up, typed a message, and deleted it twice already.
So as soon as he heard her key in the lock, he was up and off the couch.
8
Caleb didn’t even wait until Lexi had stepped all the way into the house before he asked, “Is everything okay?”
She was clearly surprised to find him in the foyer. “Hi. Yeah.” She closed the door and turned. “I realized I hadn’t told you what time I’d be off and I thought about calling but then I got sidetracked and then figured you’d probably put Jack to bed and that it didn’t really matter if I was late.” She gave him a smile. “That’s really nice, I’ll admit. Not having to think about getting him back out to the car and then into the apartment and settled down.”
Caleb nodded. “That is nice. You can even lock the door behind you when you get home now.” He felt his heart kick at that idea and the use of the word home with her. “You’re not going out of it again tonight.”
“Huh.” She turned back to the door and slowly lifted her hand, twisting the lock closest to the knob, then sliding the chain into place higher up. She faced him again. “That is nice.”
God, he wanted to throw her over his shoulder and take her straight upstairs. She looked tired. Or she looked like she should be tired. Her hair was coming out of her ponytail, and he noted that she was wearing a different scrub top than the one she’d left in.
“You changed clothes?” he asked.
She looked down. “Oh, yeah. Blood.” She looked up again. “Lots of blood.”
He frowned. “You okay?”
She smiled. “None of it was mine.”
“Bad day?” A lot of blood wasn’t a good night.
“Busy,” she said. “Big car accident. Multiple injuries.”
He nodded, watching her closely. He’d missed her, which he recognized as a little stupid, but there was something more about her that was pulling at him. Maybe the recognition from earlier today that he was feeling a lot more for her than he’d previously realized.
“What?” she asked, her brow wrinkling as she watched him watching her.
“You’re…glowing.”
“Glowing? What do you mean?”
He wasn’t even sure. “You don’t look happy exactly, but you don’t look tired or worried or anything, either.”
She took a deep breath, blew it out, and gave him a soft smile. “I’m feeling proud. Satisfied.”
Satisfied. Yeah, okay, that seemed to fit. “Tell me about it.”
“About what?” She dropped her bag by the door and toed off her tennis shoes.
“Your shift. What happened. What you’re proud of.” He meant it. That look on her face was beautiful. Soft but still a little…feisty. And he wanted to know more about what had caused it.
“Oh.” She glanced at the stairs. “I was just going to head up to take a bath. Then bed. I have to wo
rk in the morning. I didn’t think you’d still be up.”
That wasn’t an invitation to join her in the bath or the bed. Still, he wanted to hear about her shift. “I know.” He reached out and caught her hand. “Just for a little bit. Tell me about what happened.”
She let him tug her to the couch. Of course she did. She didn’t argue with him. She didn’t resist him. And her willingness to go along with him now had a whole new meaning.
He coughed and nudged her down onto the sofa. “So tell me about all the blood.” He settled next to her, but she turned so she could sit with her back against the arm of the couch, putting her further away from him.
Caleb shifted and put his arm along the back of the couch.
“It was three cars and a truck,” she said. “Five injuries. One was a fifteen-year-old boy. Came in unconscious. His heart stopped twice.” She took a deep breath. “We finally got him stabilized but he was there alone. He’d been in the car alone and they couldn’t get a hold of his parents. So after things calmed down, I went in to check on him. And I hated that he was alone. So…I just stayed. I just held his hand and started talking.”
She gave Caleb a sheepish smile that made a hot ball gather in his gut, then slide lower to his cock.
“What did you talk to him about?” he asked, realizing he was curious even as he was fighting the urge to pull her into his lap.
She laughed softly. “I didn’t know what to talk to him about. He’s fifteen. I don’t know any fifteen-year-old boys. So, I started…telling him stories.”
“What stories?”
“I started reciting the kids’ books,” she said, dipping her head as if embarrassed. “I know all of their favorite books by heart, and I just thought he needed to hear a voice and hear something light and maybe something that would be familiar? I mean, all kids know Goodnight Moon and Love You Forever and Green Eggs and Ham, right? So I thought maybe that would be comforting but wouldn’t make his brain work too hard.”
Caleb smiled at the top of her head. She was fiddling with the bottom of her scrub top and he wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted her more.
Nice and Easy: Boys of the Big Easy book three Page 15