Baby Batter

by Alexis Angel

  “I can’t believe you fucked him,” Molly says with a shake of her head. “Don’t you hate that prick?”

  I laugh. “Maybe not anymore…” I trail off and look down at the trees swaying in the gentle breeze.

  I chew on my thumbnail. I know I’m doing a complete 180 when it comes to the way I feel about Zane.

  “It seriously is the best sex I’ve ever had,” I mention, trying to make my point.

  “So orgasms over morals now, right?” she says, but I know she’s only lightly teasing me.

  “He has me under some sort of fucking spell or something.” I shake my head, trying to make sense of it.

  “Once again, those are called orgasms,” she jokes.

  “You’re probably right.” I take another larger sip of my drink. “He is fucking perfection. I mean, I have no idea how he even knew some of those moves. He seriously has his shit together in the bedroom.”

  “Maybe he’s a porn star on the side,” Molly says, and we both laugh hysterically.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised, because he’s fucking amazing,” I say dreamily and look up at the sky. The sun is gone now, but there’s still a soft orange-pink glow to the sky from its remnants.

  “So are you going to date him?” Molly asks.

  I scoff. “Are you kidding? Of course not. No. Absolutely not.” I shake my head.

  Molly laughs. “Are you trying to convince yourself of that more than me?”

  “Well, I need him,” I say, all joking aside.

  “For what?” she asks and furrows her brow.

  “He’s the best manufacturer out there. I can’t start over with someone new. I just don’t have the patience to reteach the steps to someone new.”

  “That’s understandable.” Molly nods with agreement.

  “Not to mention I really can’t lose him as a business partner. We work together nicely.”

  “In and out of the bedroom,” Molly jokes.

  “The sex is hot, and I want to do it again, I’ll admit it.” I raise my arms defensively as we continue to joke about the way he seemingly swept me off my feet.

  “Are you going to call him?”

  “I don’t know.” I ponder Molly’s question. “I want to, but I know I probably shouldn’t.”

  “Just wait for him,” she says with purpose.

  “I have that new line of lingerie coming out soon,” I remember.

  “Oh yeah, that’s coming up close,” she says. “Are you still going to give me a shitload of free stuff?”

  I laugh. “I plan to, as soon as the first initial shipments go out.”

  “Awesome,” Molly says and leans in to give me a high five.

  “I know I’ll have to see him again soon because we’ll be working closely on the line together,” I say.

  “You’ll want to jump into his pants the first time you see him,” she says with a chuckle.

  “He’s so hot…” I trail off, just thinking about how wet, steamy, and sexy we are together. He’s intoxicating, and I fear I might become an addict —a total junkie hooked on his fucking skills.

  “He is really hot,” she agrees. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I won’t get hurt,” I say a little too brashly. “I have my head on straight.”

  “Just be careful,” Molly says and stands up as she downs the remainder of the wine in her glass.

  “Are you heading out?” I ask, feeling slightly disappointed. I don’t want our sassy girl talk to end.

  She yawns, stretches, and looks at the watch on her wrist. “I don’t want to, but I have an early morning tomorrow. I’m supposed to start boot camp.”

  She winces, and I give her a sour look.

  “Do you want to come with me?” She grins with a hopeful look.

  I laugh. “Fuck no. I’m terrible when it comes to the motivation for boot camp.”

  “I just wish it didn’t have to start so fucking early,” she agrees.

  “You mean before the fucking break of dawn?” I joke.

  “Exactly!” Molly shouts. “I mean, if there are any fucking chickens in the city, I’m sure the ladies of boot camp wake up before them.”

  I walk Molly to the door and say goodbye. As I shut it behind me, I lean up against the wall and sigh dramatically, still unable to shake Zane from my mind.

  I reflect on our night together. I still picture our sweaty naked bodies intertwining in passion and heat. The electrical current of desire and lust still surges through me, even more than twenty-four hours later.

  I’m fucking hooked on him, and I know I want his baby now. He has the perfect genes. He’s smart, sexy, and charming.

  I just have to figure out the best way to approach the subject with him, and I know that part won’t come fucking easy.

  Because one thing is for damn sure. I may enjoy fucking Zane, but the only way I can be totally on board with my plan and know he is too is we establish some ground rules.

  First and foremost, this is just pure fucking, plain and simple.

  Should be too hard to stick to that one considering that I know he’s a total ass, even if he is sexy and charming.

  Yeah, I’ve got this. We fuck, he gives me his baby batter, and the deal’s done.

  Right?

  Right.

  9

  Zane

  I strut back into Piper’s office once again the next day like I fucking own the place. Who am I kidding, right? I fucking own the shit out of this place now that my fucking DNA is splattered all over her precious furniture.

  The thought of my hot cum hitting the desk and the floor then spraying all over the walls in her office brings me immense fucking joy.

  Piper is intense, and she needs to lighten the fuck up sometimes. I mean, she’s a really fucking hot chick. There’s no reason to have a stick up her ass all the fucking time.

  I know she’s into me. I can just feel it, and I see it in her eyes, especially after watching her watch me leak my creamy cum all over her desk. It’s better than pouring it into some cum dumpster model.

  I know, you think I’m a total fucking asshole, right? That I don’t care about women and think I can do whatever fucking degrading thing I want to them.

  Well, you are fucking dead wrong because it’s all in good fun. I do care…to a certain degree. I just want to make sure everybody has a good time, and the ultimate end goal for me is a powerful orgasm that makes me unable to see straight.

  And I always take care of whatever woman it is too. In fact, I don’t rest until she’s had more fucking orgasms than me. I’m generous like that.

  With a large smile teasing across my lips, I waltz into Piper’s office with purpose. She’s called me in here this morning, and I don’t know why. She probably wants to bone me in the fucking corner or something.

  Fuck, I’ll do it any time, any place. She’s so smoking hot she can spread her legs for me anytime.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” I say and sit down across from her. I blow her a little kiss for added effect.

  She eyes me as if I’m her fucking snotty-nosed kid brother or something. Whoa, wait a fucking minute. Where’s the seductive temptress? I fucking want her back, not this uptight bitch.

  “Good morning.” She purses her lips together and crosses her arms.

  For a brief moment, panic makes a cold sweat break out on my skin. Is she really going to fucking fire me?

  Surely not after the night of fucking hot passion we shared.

  “You know I’m very busy,” I say and tap my watch, making a point for her to get on with whatever the fuck she wants to say.

  “I don’t fucking care about your schedule,” she says curtly with a smirk.

  “Okay, then why am I here?” I stare at her as my heart races.

  She takes a deep, measured breath. “I have a proposition for you.”

  “Does it involve us fucking on top of your desk?” I grin, trying to appease her.

  She pauses for a moment. “Maybe.”


  “Really?” Well okay then. Someone call the fuck train because I am so on board. I didn’t fucking expect that one to come out of her mouth.

  “But I prefer to fuck somewhere that’s not already been soiled,” she says with an air of ostentatious attitude.

  “I’ll fuck you wherever you want me to.” I grin and lean in closer to her, drawing in the feminine scent of her perfume as I give her a wink. “And I do mean anywhere.”

  Fuck, my raging hard-on is back, and I can’t impede it now. I want to rip her panties off and burrow my face between her legs so fucking bad I can already taste her sweet pussy nectar.

  “This proposition has more to do with a…transaction of sorts.” She waves her hand in the air with grace.

  “A transaction? You mean like monetary?”

  She crosses her legs seductively. Her white blouse is unbuttoned at the top, leaving way for the perfect amount of cleavage to shine through. My imagination runs fucking wild as I dream of motorboating those enormous tits of hers.

  “Let me ask you something.” She licks her lips.

  “Anything,” I say with a shrug.

  “Do you like cakes?”

  Her question confuses me, but I answer anyway. “Um, yeah…I guess.” I let out a little chuckle. “I think chocolate cake with strawberry frosting is my favorite, if I have to pick one.”

  She clicks her tongue and sighs dramatically. “I’m thinking about a different kind of cake.”

  I shake my head. “You mean like pie?”

  She laughs mischievously. “Well, I guess you can say this has to do with pie, only it’s also very, very different.” The words drip from her mouth as a whisper.

  She’s making me feel hot, spicy, and full of raging fucking lust.

  “If you want me to eat your pie, all you have to do is ask.” I toss her a devious wink.

  She smiles and crosses her legs, then she uncrosses them. She’s fidgeting, but in a sexy way.

  “You know how to bake a cake, right?” She grins wildly.

  “What the fuck are you talking about, Piper?” I say, growing impatient.

  “You have to use batter,” she states, ignoring me.

  “Yeah…so?”

  “I need your batter.” She comes straight out with it. She’s firm and looking me squarely in the eye.

  But I’m fucking lost.

  “My batter?”

  “Your hot cum,” she says and smiles as she presses her tits together.

  “You can have my hot cum anytime you want it, gorgeous,” I say and lean back in the chair. I have this effect on women. Even the CEO types go fucking crazy for me.

  I must ooze sex appeal. Who the fuck am I kidding? I already know I do.

  Piper suddenly gets a serious look on her face. “You want to keep your job, right?”

  “Yes,” I say, becoming weary.

  “Then I need your cum as my baby batter. I want to have a baby. You have perfect genes and you are fucking gorgeous. Yes, I am saying what you already know. You win, it’s fine. I need you to agree with this if you want to keep your job.”

  I stare at her, certain she’s fucking bluffing.

  I mean, she has to be right? Because what she’s saying is fucking out of left field that I’m literally reeling.

  But no.

  There’s no poker face to hide here. She really fucking means it.

  What. The. Fuck.

  “Are you saying if I don’t give you my sperm so you can have my baby, then I’m fired?” I can’t believe anyone actually has the balls to put me in this type of situation.

  But you know what? Crazy as it seems, something about this kind of thrills me and makes me even more turned on for Piper. Who the fuck knows why?

  “Yes,” she says flatly.

  I’m incredulous, but if I’m being honest, I also really fucking like the idea of getting to have sex with her again, or maybe over and over and over again.

  Like really, who here knows how long it takes to make a baby? Do you? Because I sure as fuck don’t. For all I know, we might have to try for months before she gets knocked up. And that right there has a ridiculous amount of appeal.

  I finally understand the type of cake she wants to bake and the batter she needs to use. I’m just not sure I’m fucking there yet. Even though the fucking part sounds amazing.

  I’m really not ready to be a fucking father; I’m way too fucking selfish right now. At least I can admit that, right? That keeps me from being a total asshole. I’m just a mostly asshole now.

  I look up at her. She’s watching me expectantly. Fuck.

  So I say the only thing I can to buy myself some time.

  “Can I think about it?” I mean, that’s a reasonable response, right?

  She pauses for a moment, pondering my request. “Fine,” she finally says. But you need to let me know soon.”

  “Okay.” I take a deep breath and stand up. This meeting was so not what I expected. As I walk from her office, I call back over my shoulder. “I’ll be in touch.”

  10

  Zane

  “I’m here,” I say to my friend Max on the phone.

  The line is longer than I’m expecting on a Wednesday night. Maybe it’s college night or some shit and there’s hot fucking chicks right inside.

  I’m at one of the trendiest night clubs that Brooklyn has to offer. Yes, the rumors are true—Brooklyn is the new Manhattan, but I still don’t want to fucking live in it. I’m a Manhattan boy through and through.

  I walk up to meet Max in the line, and we do a fist bump in greeting.

  “What’s up, man?” I pat his back.

  “Not a whole fucking lot, just working, you know?” Max grins as the line presses forward.

  “I know what that’s fucking like.” I nod as we get up to the bouncer.

  Max is an architect, and he renovates old buildings in and around the financial district of Manhattan. He’s been my friend since college, and I know he’d fucking take a bullet for me.

  We get inside the club, and the neon lights hit me with a soft glow. The hip hop bass from the club speakers booms through my ears.

  Adrenaline pumps through my veins, and I’m ready to have a great fucking night out.

  I also have ulterior motives for asking Max to come out to the club with me tonight, and that is my fucking predicament with Piper.

  Max is never going to fucking say no to a night out, especially when he knows he has the option to flirt with sexy women. Normally I’m his wingman, but distraction is fucking wreaking havoc in my fucking mind right now.

  We make our way to the first bar we see within the club. The bartender is a smoking hot girl with a white T-shirt on. I can see right fucking through it, and her amazing perky nipples are just itching to poke through and be free.

  I imagine popping those tits in my mouth, but then the fucking image of Piper strikes once again. What the fuck?

  We order beers and take a seat at the crowded bar. I take a huge slug of my beer and welcome the freedom it brings me. I’m not really looking to get fucking shitfaced tonight, but I need to fucking unwind.

  Max gives me an odd look as he, too, takes a sip of his beer.

  “What?” I say and chuckle.

  He shakes his head. “Are you alright, man?”

  I laugh a little too loudly. The fucking guy sees right through me, but I lie anyway. “Yeah, I’m fucking great.”

  “You don’t seem great,” he says in an unconvincing tone.

  I roll my eyes and watch a sexy girl in a white dress walk by. She has curves for days, and the dress hugs them perfectly. I lick my lips and wink at her, but she moves on.

  “So spill the fucking beans, man. What the fuck is eating you up? Or is it that you need a chick to eat your cock tonight?” He laughs and slaps my back. “There’s plenty to fucking choose from at a place like this,” he says.

  “No fucking joke,” I agree as we clink our beer bottles together. “There is something on my mind, though…”
I trail off.

  “I fucking knew it!” Max stands up and shouts.

  Max is shorter than me. He’s a good-looking guy, I guess, but he normally doesn’t do as well as me in the ladies department because he’s too short.

  When I say short, I mean fucking short as fuck. I think the dude is only fucking five foot seven. He’s like Bruno Mars, only not as rich and famous.

  He has dark hair like me and the thickest Jersey accent you’ll ever hear in your fucking life.

  I take a deep breath and decide to just fucking blurt it out. “I have a fucking chick problem,” I say and take another sip of my beer.

  Max looks at me, curiosity tinged with disbelief. “Oh yeah? Is there a bitch who wants to settle down? Fuck that shit,” he says and scans the bar area. “There are too many hot girls out there we still need to fuck.”

  “I know,” I say, “but this is more fucking complicated than that.”

  “What could possibly be more complicated than that?” He climbs back on his barstool.

  “Well, I think I might be in a bribery situation.”

  “Oh wow. Damn.” Max winces. “What the fuck did you get yourself into now?”

  “You don’t even want to fucking know.” I shake my head and laugh.

  Max punches my arm. “Are you fucking getting soft on me here, Tanner?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I did something fucking stupid, and this bitch is going to make me pay the fucking price unless I conform to her fucking will.”

  “Who is it?” Max asks with intrigue.

  I sigh because I know Max is going to have a fucking field day with this one. “It’s Piper. Piper Stewart.”

  “Fuck!” Max shouts. “The fucking Ice Queen of the Northeast? Damn, dude, what did you do to piss her off?”

  “I fucked her models on top of her desk and she walked in. She caught me red handed, or in this case, ass cheek to cock handed.” I give him a sly grin, and he punches me in the arm again.

  “You never cease to amaze me, Zane. You’re like the fucking Olympic gold medalist of sex.”

  I burst into laughter. “It’s a true honor to have that title,” I joke in mock humility. “Back to the predicament. She has me backed into a corner.”