Learning to Love Again

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  I’d cried and held onto her for what seemed like hours as she slowly slipped into a deep sleep and out of my life. I didn’t want her to go. She was the last link to my parents. I remember my new mom, Olivia, wrapping her arms around me and carrying me out of the room with tears in her eyes.

  I was lost in my memories when Mom came up and wiped the tears from my eyes. “I can tell you remember that day,” she said softly.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “It was one of the best and worst days of our life. We had you as our son, but we lost a good friend.” She paused for a moment. “You know, your father broke medical code and took a sample of her blood before she was taken away. We processed the blood work secretly through a friend of his and discovered your aunt had indeed been poisoned with arsenic.”

  “But why didn’t you fucking do anything about it?!” My voice rose without me realizing it. I didn’t mean to curse in front of my parents. I knew how much they hated that.

  My father lifted his hand to silence me and spoke up this time. “Because we’d made a promise that we’d let you live in peace, without fear of harm from Walt Peterson. If we’d submitted the sample as evidence, we wouldn’t have been able to track the findings back to him, but we would’ve exposed you at that point. That was a risk we weren’t willing to take, son, so we kept the evidence Lydia had collected, along with some of our own, in the safe, hoping it never had to come to light.”

  I was speechless. Their argument made sense, especially with the connections Walt had. Apparently he had the coroner, doctor, police, and pretty much anyone he needed in his back pocket.

  “I’m so sorry for all this mess, Garrett,” Laurel was quick to offer. “It’s all my fault.”

  What the fuck?! “What the hell are you talking about?” I exploded. “You didn’t cause this.” I didn’t like the sympathetic tone of her voice, or where this was headed.

  Her voice shook as she explained. “If we hadn’t met, Chase might still be following me, we don’t know, but because of him, because of his interest in me, Walt Peterson found you. So technically it’s my fault that he’s found you after all this time.”

  Thank God my parents came to my defense, since I couldn’t manage to get a word out. I was still trying to figure out where she was getting her line of thinking. Sure, the chances of us both having links to the Peterson household were like a million to one odds, but coincidences happen all the time, that’s life.

  “You didn’t cause any of this, dear,” my father assured her. “When Garrett decided to use his real name again, for privacy, we should’ve prevented it and told him the truth at that point. We’d tried to persuade him not to go down that path, but were hopeful that after twenty something years, Walt would have let things go and forgotten all about Garrett.”

  “No one could’ve realized how twisted and vindictive Walt’s mind really is,” my mom butted in. “It was only by chance that you had a link to the family, but with Garrett in the public eye, he would probably have made the connection eventually.”

  I finally found my voice and leaned back, grabbing hold of both of Laurel’s shoulders. “Don’t you dare go there with me. We’ve both had the misfortune of crossing paths with a father and son who think they can either buy or take anything they want in life and not have to pay the consequences of their actions. Their luck is running out and I’ll be damned if I’ll let them tear us apart. We were fated for one another! For the first time in my life, I feel whole and complete. I don’t want to lose that. You are my life, Laurel. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. So don’t you dare bring up that this is all on you. The Petersons are the ones to blame.”

  Her eyes were full of tears as she nodded. “I don’t want to lose you. You are so much a part of me now. If I lost you, I’d forever be without half my heart and soul.”

  I didn’t wait for her to say anything more before I kissed her hard, right in front of my parents. We held onto each other as though our lives depended on it, our mouths fused together. Laurel finally broke off our kiss when she was nearly breathless.

  I lifted her chin and smiled. “Can we speed up our marriage and finally talk about what you’d like for a ceremony?”

  We both laughed when my parents said, in unison, “It’s about time.”

  “Are we still talking New Year’s Eve or are we now talking another time in December?” my mother asked, practically clapping in excitement.

  Laurel shrugged her shoulders and just shook her head. “I’m not really sure. What did you have in mind, Garrett?”

  “You should know that if I could get you to go to the Justice of the Peace today, I would. The sooner the better, in my estimation. I’m hoping that being married to you will somehow deter Chase’s pursuits, but more importantly, I just want you all to myself!”

  She seemed to think about it for a moment. “That does sound nice and I hope it does act as a deterrent, but I would have my entire family furious with me if I didn’t invite them, along with Hannah. If I exclude them, I might as well go into hiding.”

  We all laughed, but I already knew she’d want everyone she cared about around her on our special day. “So you want something small?” I asked.

  “Yes. Just our immediate family and closest friends.”

  I knew of a few locations I’d like to have the ceremony at, but wanted to know her thoughts. “Any ideas for a location?”

  She shook her head. “Somewhere romantic, private, and personal would be nice. I’m not fussy, so nothing too elaborate; maybe something simple, yet elegant.”

  I had to laugh. “Do you have some kind of mind reading power? We both want the same thing. How about the time of day?”

  “It doesn’t really matter to me what time or even day we get married, just as long as I’m with you. However, if I had to pick, I’d say either right at sunrise or just before sunset,” she finally admitted.

  We discussed her vision of colors, number of attendants, types of flowers, whether to have a cake or miniature desserts, and so forth. It never ceased to amaze me how much we shared in common. Her answers, with the exception of a few flower choices, were nearly identical to mine.

  I looked up to see that my mom was taking notes on everything, getting all her likes and dislikes. A smile spread quickly across her face as she winked at me.

  Our talk about marriage seemed to lift the spirits of the room and helped refocus our attention to more positive things.

  Several hours passed as we continued talks of our impending marriage. Dad had Thompson run out to get some subs from one of his favorite shops for us to have for lunch.

  It was no surprise that outside the perimeter of the gates, news media and paparazzi were waiting to catch a picture of us. I knew that would be a possibility, which was why I’d decided we would secretly move everything to the beach for Thanksgiving. I wasn’t about to let our plans be ruined by some asshole and a bunch of reporters, so I had Deidre pack weekend bags with clothes and essentials. I also had her pack our suitcases for up to two or three weeks in the event the paparazzi wouldn’t let up. Whatever else we needed, we could buy.

  After lunch, Thompson pulled the SUV around back for Laurel and me to get in so we could avoid the photographers. My parents would follow later on in one of their vehicles, with my youngest sister, Tiffany, who was due to fly in tonight.

  On the way out of my parents’ neighborhood, a house being built caught Laurel’s eye. “Your parent’s home is amazing, but my goodness that one really blows my mind.”

  I looked out the window with her to see what she was talking about. It was truly a sight to behold, reminiscent of a European country home, with a little touch of Tuscan design. The landscaping was already going in around the outside of the house as the roofers were putting on what looked to be Italian clay roof tiles. “I agree, that’s a magnificent looking home. Maybe we should consider something like that in the future. I’m sure our kids would rather have some place with a yard to play in. Plus, if we
decide to have more kids,” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and laid my hand on her stomach, “we’ll need a bigger place. Why don’t we start looking at houses after we get married?”

  She seemed to think about it for a few minutes and finally smiled. “I’d like that.”

  I could tell all the activity, stress, and lack of sleep had Laurel drained. We were only on the road ten minutes when her head and body nuzzled into my side and a soft snore escaped her lips. I held her tight, hoping I could turn all of this around and ensure both our safety and the babies’. I prayed that the Petersons would screw up soon, because I didn’t know how much more of their malicious intent our lives could take.

  We arrived at my beach house in no time. I didn’t have the heart to wake Laurel, but she was so exhausted that she hardly stirred as I carried her into the house and up the stairs to our bedroom.

  I placed her gently on the sheets and slowly slipped off her shoes before pulling the covers over her and kissing her forehead gently. I needed to check in with everyone to make sure the changes to our plans were running smoothly, but just watching her sleep called to me. Before I knew it, I had my shoes, tie, and jacket off and was cuddling her close to my side. I didn’t think I was tired, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

  I awoke to darkness and the sound of Garrett snoring and mumbling in his sleep. It took me a moment to realize we were at the beach house already and I must have fallen asleep on the ride over. I can’t believe I didn’t wake up when he carried me into the house and put me to bed.

  My hands came up to rub the sleep out of my eyes, so I could try and make out what time it was on the alarm clock. I knew it was nighttime, because of how dark it was, but couldn’t believe I had slept most of the afternoon and all of the evening away. When the heck did it get to be one in the morning? Why didn’t anyone call to let us know if everyone made it safely to their hotel rooms here in Daytona Beach? Did we sleep through the call?

  My legs were tangled with Garrett’s and I knew I needed to get up, but I didn’t want to wake him. One thing I already disliked about pregnancy was the constant need to use the restroom. The urge to go won out, but as soon as I moved, Garrett was instantly startled and wound his arms tightly around my body protectively.

  “What’s wrong?” he murmured.

  “Nothing’s wrong, I just need to go to the bathroom. If you don’t calm down, you’re going to be neurotic by the time the babies are born.” I patted him on the arm before heading to the bathroom.

  “Sorry, darling. It’s just all this Peterson crap. The whole situation is really fucking with my mind. I worry constantly about you and the safety of our children.” He got up from the bed and started to undress, following me into the bathroom.

  “I don’t need an audience, you know,” I joked.

  “I know. I just need to wash my face and get ready for bed. What time is it?”

  “One in the morning,” I said as I started to undress and reach for the nightgown he’d brought with him into the bathroom, along with a change of clothes for himself.

  It didn’t matter where I went or what I was doing, Garrett was my shadow, following me everywhere. I was feeling claustrophobic and hungry as I headed toward the kitchen downstairs.

  I reached the refrigerator and found a couple of nice salads and some soup waiting for us. I’d have to thank Deidre in the morning for being so thoughtful. This was exactly what I needed, something light but filling.

  Garrett warmed up the soup in the microwave and checked his phone for messages while I set the kitchen bar area with our salads, silverware, and some water to drink. The moment the microwave dinged, I began salivating. The smell of Deidre’s tomato bisque was intoxicating.

  “Looks like all of our family members arrived safely and are happily sleeping in their hotel rooms tonight, though Jonathan isn’t too happy about not being able to share a room with Grace.”

  I looked at Garrett in question. He waved his hand about. “We can talk about it tomorrow. Right now we need to get us both fed and rested.”

  We both were quite ravenous from skipping dinner and had all the food devoured in no time. He rinsed off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while I wiped down the area with a damp cloth, cleaning up any crumbs we left.

  I tried engaging him in conversation, asking him what plans he had for us tomorrow and this weekend. I wanted to get a feel of what my days ahead looked like.

  “Tomorrow will be busy with Thanksgiving. We’ll probably have our meal at dinner time, because I know you and Mom plan to fix a hearty and late breakfast for all of us to enjoy. I know she has the caterers scheduled to come in around mid-afternoon and finish up the preparation for the meal she has planned. Other than that, the rest of the weekend is kind of up in the air, depending on what everyone wants to do. I guess you could say everyone has carte blanche.”

  He’s up to something! He wouldn’t look me in the eyes when he made that last comment about having no plans for the rest of the week. Who’s he trying to fool? Mr. Dominating Control Freak doesn’t have any plans??!! Bullshit. I just stood there with my arms crossed and one eyebrow hitched up in question. He was looking a bit apprehensive, so I asked, “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Garrett threw his head back and started to laugh, then quickly covered his mouth with his hand, realizing that most of his staff, who’d arrived earlier in the day, were fast asleep, with exception of a couple of security guards that were monitoring the grounds. He finally looked me in the eyes. “I think this whole situation has you a bit paranoid and on edge.” He pulled me into a warm embrace. “Normally, I would have everything planned out, but I thought, given recent events, it might be nice to just go with the flow for a while.”

  Maybe he was right; I was being a tad mistrustful. I laughed to myself. “You’re right,” I admitted. “Sorry I didn’t believe you. I guess all my trust issues aren’t completely gone with everything that has happened lately.”

  I let him pull me against his chest, where I could hear his heartbeat. It wasn’t the normal steady pace, but a bit erratic. He’s either really worried about what Walt is planning next or he truly is hiding something from me. If he wanted me not to worry, I’d play along and see what he had in store for the rest of the week. It wasn’t worth arguing over. Plus, with my belly full, I was beginning to feel groggy.

  He began to yawn and I followed suit. “Let’s go back to bed and get whatever rest we can. I can tell you from experience that tomorrow will be chaotic, to say the least. My family loves holidays and they enjoy making a big production of it.”

  Before I could get a response out, he’d swept me off my feet and began climbing the stairs to our room. As soon as my head hit the pillow, all I heard was, “I love you to infinity, Laurel,” before sleep overtook me.

  Garrett wasn’t kidding when he said his family loved to make a big production of things. We’d just managed to get ourselves showered and dressed when the doorbell started ringing. The first to arrive were Garrett’s parents, toting bags of groceries.

  “You ready to get cooking, Laurel?” his mother asked with a smile.

  Just the thought of her pancakes had me drooling. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Harris walked over and gave me a quick hug, before giving Garrett a firm handshake and half hug. “The others will be along shortly. They all got in a little late last night with your parents.” He turned towards me with a huge grin. “You’ll finally get to meet our youngest, Tiffany. She’s flown in from Europe, where she’s been studying art for the past year.”

  The guys helped us unpack the grocery items for breakfast. I was surprised to see that Olivia had more than the ingredients to the pancakes. She had bacon, sausage, and ham, tons of eggs, fresh veggies, and several varieties of juice.

  Garrett came up behind me and circled my waist, leaning in to give me a kiss on my cheek. “How are you feeling? Do you want some help from Deidre? She came early yesterday to open the ho
use up for us and restock the fridge and pantry.”

  “Everything okay, dear? Are you feeling sick?” Harris was quick to ask, always in doctor mode…or maybe he was acting like a concerned father.

  I just shook my head. “I’m just tired from all the excitement of the media lately.”

  I leaned back into Garrett’s chest and whispered, “This is the first morning I’m feeling good in a while. Let Deidre sleep in and enjoy the rest. If I need her, I’ll let you know.” I reached my hand back and pulled the back of his head down so I could reach his lips, giving him a soft kiss before returning to the task of sorting ingredients.

  Olivia was a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen. She had copies of two recipes, one for the pancakes we had yesterday and another for pecan praline pancakes. She made the pecan batter while I concentrated on the pumpkin. I’m normally not a big breakfast eater, but the smells emanating from the kitchen were like nirvana. The bacon was roasting on racks in the oven, the ham and sausages frying up nicely on the stove. Plus, the water was heating in the Keurig for anyone wanting hot coffee or tea.

  I chopped up some fresh fruit we had in the refrigerator and placed it in a bowl in the center of the table, along with gathering up some plates, utensils, and napkins and setting them at the end of the table so everyone could serve themselves buffet style.

  It wasn’t long before our families arrived and crowded the kitchen for food. Tiffany was first, she came with Sarah and Freddie, and was just as sweet as everyone said. She had dark, chin-length hair and was about my height. I instantly loved her because she was straight forward with her words, like Grace, and upbeat like my best friend Hannah.

  I was curious as to why Freddie was with everyone. I had thought he was going to the airport with everyone last night to catch a plane out to his parents’ for Thanksgiving. “I’m glad you decided to spend the holidays with us, Freddie, but why aren’t you with your family?”