Murder Well Done

by Constance Barker

  Chapter Three

  Most of the hubbub over Tom Hopkins died down by the end of the lunch rush, and the diner was almost empty now. I was back at the end of the counter, with my chin in both hands this time, sipping on an orange soda.

  “I can’t believe that Brody was out back for nearly an hour this morning and didn’t even come in to say hello to me, Deloris.”

  She put an empty cup in front of me and went back to rolling silverware.

  I looked at her like a confused puppy. “What’s this?”

  “It’s a cup of self-pity – and it doesn’t look very good on you, Mercy.”

  “But...geez, Deloris, he’s supposed to be my guy, and...”

  She set an empty glass in front of me this time.

  “Let me guess,” I said. “A glass of whine.”

  “Mercy Howard, two months ago you were a powerful, self-sufficient woman who didn’t need a man and could handle anything the world threw at you. And today, you’re a high school pom pom girl sitting by the phone hoping that Johnny is going to ask you to the Prom.”

  “But...”

  “But nothing. That man is the Sheriff of all of McLean County. He had a dead body and a team of crime scene investigators out there to manage, not to mention reporters and a half-dozen deputies looking for a plan to follow. And two more dumpster fires were called in while he was here too. So, boo hoo hoo.”

  “I thought you didn’t like Brody – you thought he was hiding something.”

  “I changed my mind – when you told me he was in Afghanistan. That’s what I was seeing. I saw a lot of my friends come back from Vietnam, and it changed them. War can play with a man’s head, Mercy. Now it’s you I’m worried about. Brody just needs someone to help him heal his emotional scars. Now, I could use some help filling this ice bin if you really want to make yourself useful.”

  “Okay, Deloris. You’re right.” I got up and grabbed the big white bucket under the counter. “And you know, this orange soda really does taste like...”

  “Panther piss? That’s what I’ve been telling you.”

  Deloris had a way with words. My phone vibrated loudly on the counter, and I looked at the text that was coming in. It was from Brody:

  Sorry I didn’t have time to come in and squeeze you, babe. Really busy lately, busier now. I’m going to need my Watson to help me out with this new case – another crazy one! Meet me for a quick bite later? I love you...Brody

  I responded:

  Sounds good, Brody! Paley Park 6:30, I’ll bring sandwiches. <3 Mercy

  Okay, I’m good now. I guess I just needed some reassurance. Deloris caught the big smile on my face as I put down my phone.

  “Looks like Johnny called.” She raised one eyebrow and grinned slyly.

  I stuck out my tongue at her.

  “Real mature, Merse.”

  Fortunately, Jake and Junior came through the door for their afternoon snack, and we both focused our attention back on business.

  “Here come the Hobbits for their second breakfast,” she said softly to me.

  They were both short and looked a lot like overweight Hobbits. “Good afternoon, guys,” I greeted them. They nodded and sat down at the counter with serious looks on their faces.

  “Don’t you two have a home?” Deloris said as she set down a glass of water for each of them.

  I shot her the evil eye, and she plastered on a phony smile.

  “Zack is cooking this afternoon, guys. He needs some guinea pigs to try his Salisbury steak special, if you’re interested. Smoke’s out, so there’s no turkey.” Zack was the high school kid that Smoke had taken on as his apprentice.

  “Sounds good to me,” Jake said.

  Junior shook his head. “Not for me, Deloris. I just want a little snack. Give me a couple of those half-pound bacon cheeseburgers, a slice of apple pie, and a double chocolate malted milk.”

  “I thought you were starting on a diet today, Junior,” his dad reminded him.

  “Oh, yeah. You better add a Chef’s Salad with extra French dressing and a scoop of mayonnaise on top too. Medium-well on the burgers, please.”

  “Anything else there, Junior? Maybe a couple of horses and a herd of piggies?”

  “Deloris...” I said disapprovingly through my teeth.

  “Nope, just that...and a big basket of French fries, of course. And a scoop of ice cream on the pie.”

  “Sure thing, boys. Smoke has a fresh keg of beer in his refrigerator. Would you...?”

  Jake waved her off. “Nope, no beer for us today, Deloris. We’ve got a murder to solve.”

  Oh, boy. Jake and Junior are going to try to crack this murder case. Well, maybe they’ll stumble across something.

  “Have you found out anything yet, Jake? Any clues?” I asked.

  “Well, it looks like Tom was the only member of the city council who was against the mayor’s plan to put in new streets with curbs and gutters in the old part of town where Bud lives, and he was trying to win over some of the other council members to vote No too.”

  “Interesting, but is that really a motive for murder? Half the town lives there. The residents there are all in favor of it.” Bud Finster had been the mayor of Paint Creek forever, and upgrading those old streets had been talked about for years. Maybe they were finally getting around to it.

  “A lot of big contracts, not to mention property values, are riding on this vote, Mercy. Junior and I just put in a new kitchen for Bud last year, and property values there are just not going up, so it doesn’t pay to renovate anymore. Everybody wants to move to the hill over Northeast, where you live, Mercy. This street upgrade would probably add 20 percent to property values in the south neighborhood, and revitalize the area. Some people are getting notices that their property value has been cut in half because of the poor streets. Bud has a few empty lots there too that he can’t unload, but for sure they would be in high demand if the neighborhood streets are fixed up.”

  “I guess...but revitalization sounds like a good thing for Paint Creek.” I wondered why Tom would be opposed to the plan. He ran a small accounting firm from an office at Builders’ Trust and Savings downtown, and a few years ago he took a job as the head loan officer at the bank too. It’s a small town, so it wasn’t a problem to do both jobs from one office. “Why was Tom opposed to the revitalization measure? I mean, as a loan officer shouldn’t he want property values to go up? He would make higher commissions on bigger loans.”

  “Tom said we needed the money to improve the high school and build a new elementary, not line the pockets of politicians – says we should put the project off for one year. Red was at the council meeting, and that’s what he told me.”

  Tom must have really been sincere in his opposition to the plan. I could see the wheels turning in Jake’s head as he guzzled his entire glass of water and set it on the counter very indelicately. Maybe he was doing some good work on this case after all.

  “Follow the money.” Junior blew the paper wrapper off his straw and poked it into his malted milk.

  Okay, I’ll bite. “What money, Junior?”

  “Well, Tom Hopkins was a banker and an accountant, right? Streets and schools and things – they cost a lot of money.” He leaned towards Jake and me and spoke a little more softly. “I can’t prove it yet, but I’m pretty sure he had a printing press in the basement of the Village Hall. He figured, since he’s the one printing up all the money, he should get to be the one to decide how to use it. He was just starting to raise his kids, so he wanted the money to go for schools. And it’s a little fishy that he had money to build a new house over Northeast. I heard he paid cash for it. He’s moving out of the old side of town, so he didn’t want his money to be spent there, ya see?” He nodded his head once and winked at me, as if to emphasize the huge importance of his wisdom.

  It always boggles my mind how Junior can mix absurd ideas together with things that make so much sense. “That’s fascinating, Junior. You should consider a career in
law enforcement.”

  “No can do, Mercy. Doesn’t pay enough, and I’d have to go to work every day, wash my uniform...nah. I’ll stick with construction. A couple good contracts a month, and that’s all it takes.”

  Thank God for small favors. I filled the ice bin – that big bucket was heavy! – and headed for home to relax and get ready for my picnic dinner with Brody.

  Chapter Four

  “Hi, Gracie! Did you miss me? Oh, it looks like you and Wizard really like my homemade kibble...it’s all gone!”

  My little hamsters were my best friends when I was at home, and, yes, I talked to them all the time.

  “Wizzy, is Grace letting you get enough to eat? She’s getting a little pudgy. Or is she just not as active as you?” I took Wizard out of the cage and petted his luxurious fur with my finger. “You’re my favorite, you know,” I whispered softly into his ear so Gracie couldn’t hear me. “Okay, back you go. I have to jump into the shower now. I’ll feed you before I go.”

  I had plenty of time, so I washed my hair to make sure that I wouldn’t smell like dumpster smoke when I met Brody. I toweled off my body, went into my room, and held my towel open behind me in front of my full-length mirror on the door.

  “Almost bikini-ready,” I said to myself as I poked my finger in and out of the little bit of fat just below my belly button. “Better than last week.” I looked briefly at the bathroom scale on the floor and decided I wasn’t brave enough to step on it today. “But I guess there will be more early morning jogs for me for another week or so.”

  I started to dry my hair. “Cross your fingers, Mercy.” I never knew if it would be a good or bad hair day until my hair was dry. It was a humid day, so my natural waves were a little more pronounced in my long blonde tresses. “Not bad.” I squinted at the mirror, tilted my head, and scrunched my mouth to one side, which is my decision-making face.

  “So...ponytail or down? Wizard!” I hollered out of my bedroom door, “How should I wear my hair? Ponytail? Okay, thanks, that’s what I was thinking too.” He was always helpful with these kinds of decisions – and Brody always likes it when I unleash my locks and shake them loose. Plus, the ponytail works well with my white visor cap.

  It was a warm July day, so I put on some bright yellow shorts and a lime green tank top over my favorite push-up bra and walked past my little buddies and into the kitchen. It was just separated from the living room by my granite-top peninsula and breakfast nook.

  “Well, thank you, Wizard, but I think ‘smoking hot’ might be a bit of an exaggeration.” He was always very generous with his compliments, and yes, I’m a little crazy when I’m at home. I just don’t like being alone, so my hamsters are more like roommates that I chat with. Don’t judge me!

  I put on a pot of coffee and tried to get some ideas for my casual dinner with Brody. “Time to put together a nice picnic dinner for Brody and me...let’s see what we have in the refrigerator. What’s that? No, Gracie. If I have Zack or Smoke make something for me it won’t be, you know...personal.” Her ideas were never as good as Wizard’s.

  The doorbell rang, which almost never happened. I wonder who that is? I opened the door, expecting a sales pitch for Girl Scout cookies or an opportunity to have the greenest lawn on the block for the price of a cup of coffee a day. Instead, I was surprised to see a beautiful, classy young woman with golden cappuccino skin, hypnotic hazel eyes, and a plate of cookies in her hand.

  My jaw dropped and I forgot how to speak. “Uh... hi! Um...”

  She smiled, flashing her flawless white teeth and laughed as she spoke. “Hi, I’m Ruby Owana, your new neighbor.”

  Wow! A neighbor and potential friend I might be able to relate to. “Come in! Come in, Ruby.” I enthusiastically pulled the door all the way open. “I’m Mercy Howard.”

  “I know.” Ruby put one foot tentatively across the threshold and peered from side to side. “Is this a good time? I thought I heard you talking to somebody.”

  I turned a little red and motioned my hand toward the hamster cage. “Just working out the finer points of my life with my little friends, Grace and Wizard.”

  Ruby chuckled and handed me the plate of cookies. “We’re the same...I talk to my little pooch all the time. Oh, look!” she said enthusiastically as she ventured inside. “The little one has a lightning bolt on his forehead! You must be Wizard.”

  I was pleasantly flabbergasted. “Oh, my goodness, Ruby! Everyone else laughs at me when I tell them that dark splotch of fur is a lightning bolt. You’re the first one to see that he looks exactly like Harry Potter.”

  “The spitting image – of the young Harry in the first episode, that is.”

  “Of course!” I smiled. “I’m beginning to think I’ve found my soul sister.”

  “I hope so! Otherwise I’ll be here all alone in the big city...of Paint Creek.”

  We had the same sense of humor too. “Come in the kitchen. I have to put together a late lunch for my boyfriend and me.” It felt good to say that. “The coffee should be ready. Now here’s the big question that will determine if we’re really compatible members of the cosmic sisterhood: How do you take your coffee?”

  She got a make-believe worried look on her face. “If I get it wrong, am I out?”

  I nodded. “Right out the door,” I said with a wink.

  “Well...two sugars, no cream is what I prefer, Mercy...but I can be flexible!”

  “Perfect!” I said with a laugh.

  “That’s how you like your coffee too?”

  “Nope. Two creams, no sugar for me. So, we will complement one another perfectly!” I poured her a cup of fresh hot coffee, pushed the sugar bowl her way, and put the cookies on the breakfast nook where she was sitting. “I should be the one bringing you a nice plate of goodies to welcome you to Paint Creek, Ruby. You shouldn’t have brought these for me...and it looks like you’ve never eaten a cookie in your life.”

  She took a big bite out of one and answered, with her fingers in front of her full lush lips, as she was still chewing, “Oh, yes, I have!”

  I took a bite too. “This is amazing!” It really was. “Banana...molasses...chocolate chip?”

  Ruby nodded. “And macadamia nuts. Just a little banana to keep them from getting brittle.”

  I had never tasted a cookie like this before. “Yum! I’m going to pack one for Brody too.”

  “They’re called Sweet Mercy cookies, because that’s what you say when you take a bite.”

  “Ha! I like them even better now.”

  “It’s my Grandma Ramona’s recipe, Mercy. Actually, it’s been in the family for generations, but I had to get it from my sister because Gran won’t give out the recipe until we’re married.”

  We fell into a conversation as if we had known each other forever. We talked about everything from the bar scene in Louisville, to our plans for the future, to our love life nightmares.

  “But I think I might have gotten lucky this time,” I said as I made a big meaty sandwich for Brody and a chicken salad wrap for myself. “Brody’s kind of...one in a million.”

  “Brody is a lucky man,” she said.

  “True!”

  She told me she was going to be the new history teacher at the high school, replacing my old teacher, Marla Dommish, who finally retired in June. Ruby was 28 now, five years younger than me, and had taught for a few years in the city. But she wanted to get some small-town experience. She thought the kids would be easier to handle and she could get into administration more quickly.

  We talked and laughed for nearly an hour and got along like we had known each other all our lives. I found out that her mother was black and Native American and her father was Italian and Filipino, which explained her amazing exotic good looks, and maybe her Hawaiian-sounding last name too. She was smart, funny, and had a really kind heart. I hoped she would stay forever.

  Eventually the conversation turned to the murder of Tom Hopkins. The news had already spread throughout the town.


  “It’s terrible,” she said, shaking her head. “I met him and Patty when I was looking at houses. They were really excited about the new home they were building not far from here, and we talked in the yard there for quite a while. A lovely couple. I just can’t believe it...and it’s scary to think that there’s a murderer running loose in this small town.”

  “Brody is a great investigator, Ruby,” I reassured her. “The killer won’t be on the loose for long.”

  “You seem to be handling this all in stride, Mercy.”

  “Well, that’s what five years in the ER does to you. You learn to compartmentalize the inner torment, and then just have a day once in a while where you’re in tears and wonder what kind of world we live in.”

  “I just came from the grocery store, and I heard there was another dumpster fire after the three this morning, Mercy.”

  “Really?” My Gosh, that’s four in one day. What’s going on in Paint Creek?

  She nodded. “Thank goodness there haven’t been any more dead bodies in any of them. You know, when I was a girl outside of Louisville, there was a rash of windshields being shot out of cars over night for a while.” She gave a wry smile. “Turned out it was the local windshield glass replacement guy drumming up business for himself. Sorry...this rash of fires just made me think of that.”

  It was time for me to get going to meet Brody now. “Ruby,” I said to her seriously as she was getting up to leave, “I have an odd question for you...”

  “Mmm okay. What, Mercy?”

  “Will you be my best friend?”

  She laughed and hugged me, and we both got a little misty-eyed. “You are just what I need in my life, Mercy. In fact, the reason I chose the house next door instead of the one on Earl Street is because the Realtor told me that the nice young woman who ran the diner lived here. You were a big selling point in my decision! I just never expected you would turn out to be a brilliant nurse, a real sweetheart, and the girlfriend of the County Sheriff. I feel like I hit the jackpot.”